I'll let Jem tell the story about her brother's funeral and the behaviour and dress code that was apparently acceptable.

I'll let Jem tell the story about her brother's funeral and the behaviour and dress code that was apparently acceptable.

Oh god, I'm not sure they'd believe us...

Wait, the sister of his girlfriend was saying he was the love of her life?

Wait, the sister of his girlfriend was saying he was the love of her life?

However, I was not prepared for the shit show that it was...

...I have never been to a funeral this bizarre in my life, and honestly don't think any other will top it.

J nut/seed/spice grinder

folding tool.

much larger than it looks in pictures

Everything was packaged very well in a box roughly the same size as a medium sized dog kennel.

A family of wild island buffalo were blocking the bit of beach I was walking home from the bar along. They were big and clearly did not want to be fucked with.

Repair guy is coming around with more tools tomorrow, I just spent 40 mins drilling holes in the floor and chiselling out around the front feet so hopefully, we can sort things out tomorrow.

Just bought a Kenwood Multipro Excel with most of the accessories.

Put wooden dowel under the front of the machine, hacksaw blade to cut off front legs, lean machine forwards to lift rear legs up, roll out on to dolly trolley, junk it, replace with new washing machine.

Half of Ivybridge is without power including our house. Website says we have another hour of darkness until they fix it!

it turns out the guy we bought our house from couldn't be arsed to run flooring in the kitchen to the walls.

Nice! We got a chef titanium pro with a bunch of mixer blades/whisk, blender, processor, nut/herb mill and meat grinder-cum-kebab/sausage maker and it's just fucking awesome. I hope you get as much enjoyment from yours as we do ours.

meat grinder-cum-kebab.

That's very much standard practice. Who'd want to fuck about with flooring if you needed to do something with the plumbing or electricals behind the appliances?

I’m not sure I’d call it standard practice. And it’s more to do with the fact that you’d need to rip out the entire ground level kitchen and refit it, which would involve plumbing, counter tops, tiling, hobs etc. Even if you didn’t damage anything, it would still be more expensive than a new kitchen. On top of the cost of the floor. You can, however, ameliorate the issue by being careful.

So, it’s standard insofar that most people won’t budget for the cost and most contractors are lazy/dishonest

I did not know you'd need special cook ware for those hobs. Fancy that.

Neither did we, until about five mins ago.

Is the hob still hot to touch?

I did not know you'd need special cook ware for those hobs. Fancy that.

Yarr. For them to induct upon.

The pans I currently have (and am looking to get rid were bought specifically for induction hob. It's rather neat, really.)

Get a gas hob. Don’t question this advice, don’t rationalise it either. HTH HAND

Induction hobs make up almost all of the top ten Which? best buys.

Which part of “Don’t question this advice” did you miss?

Induction hobs make up almost all of the top ten Which? best buys.

An electric oven?

Yep. Said that stuff cooked in leccy ovens taste different.