Be Excellent To Each Other

They're all linked together. See if you can spot the connection.

I loved the first two though. Im not sure why this isn't getting me excited.

Seriously? I've just had to load it up and check the settings weren't mixed up. I couldn't see anything and changing the pad layout doesn't have options that might affect which stick does what. Hnnngh!

Can the next person to play this tell me I'm not going mad?

Are you holding the controller upside down?

Here are my controller settings:

It ain't just me, apparently. Phew. Seems it's a problem with people who use inverted controls. Y'know, the cool kids.

The Spack Hands, you mean. Play it properly and you'll have no issues.

Deathmatch to decide who is the most spack-handed of you both?

Inverted vertical is obviously the correct way, though I can use either after a couple of minutes. I have never known or even heard of anyone who uses inverted horizontal controls, though. That's just weird.

Fun fact: I used to use inverted Y controls until I played World War II Online, where there was no option to change it. So I had to unlearn it and play properly. Then I found I couldn't go back.

Stone cold hard scientific factual anecdotal evidence that inverted Y is for belmers, cads and spackers.

Has anyone died of deathmatch yet? When am I starting the multiplayer Mr Myp Elk Howell Bandit Salmon?

I'm on call tomorrow until next Thurs, so anytime during the evening or weekend (unless I get called out, natch).

I tried the multiplayer and it's bloody good fun. Well, most things are for a start, but diving backwards down stairs while blasting a pursuer feels "right".

Well for stupid score contest reasons I don't want to start it this week so any time Sunday onwards we'll look at getting it going. Clan me up!

I've invited you to the clan, go the website and accept it.

Ah, that's what that was for. Consider it done!

Captain Baseball Bat Boy!

So what's Estradasphere then?

Also, I still can't work out the Salmon one, but Dapper Bandits and Silent Elk are connected to Estradasphere, who appear to be some shit band.

PC version sounds like a pretty spicy meatball, right down to its 35GB install (!) - will have to free up some space on the SSD for the bloody thing.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2012- ... gh-end-pcs

I comfortably meet the 'high recommended specs' which should apparently give me 1200p @ 60FPS, and of course that all important keyboard and mouse control.

Enjoy your shoddy port!

This ain't no shoddy port man, the main reason the install is 35GB is down to them using artwork assets that are up to 400% more detailed than on the console versions.

Although given the disaster area that the PC port of GTAIV was*, I suppose seeing will be believing, more than taking their word for it.....

(*It was an amazing game and definitely the version of choice, once PC technology had evolved for two years and as such the PC existed that could actually fucking run it properly.)

Dude, myp's just being a dick to wind you up; there's no dignity in rising to it.

I know, that's why I am replying with restrained elegance

Yes, because the PC port of GTA IV was utterly fantastic and not at all a bug-ridden mess.

Let's state the bleeding obvious shall we? The shooting that you do in the opening section is exactly the same shooting that you'll be doing in the final moments of the game. The same shooting that you did in Max Payne and Max Payne 2. The same moves. The same bullet time.

There's one new trick where the camera slows down as you kill the last enemy and you press A to slow time down further as each bullet explodes into your victims face with each blisteringly bloody impact. Faces explode. Faces implode. You can make a real mess of your enemies.

It's nothing really, just some side show gore fest that needn't be there.

But can the shooting sustain the length campaign? I reckon it depends how you approach it. If you thrash through the game in solid sessions I reckon you'll be pretty bored of it all by the end. The same tricks are used again and again as you enter a room and are immediately swarmed by shit loads of enemies. You hunker down behind cover and methodically wipe them out barely moving from your position behind hard cover because even on the normal difficulty it's brutally unforgiving. You can't come out of cover for a second without being pasted by bullets even if you've only got one or two folks left to go. You're health bar rapidly filling with red as bullets hit you. So for the most part you'll stay locked down to one piece of cover popping up to let off a few shots in bullet time before ducking back down and repeating the process again. And again. And again. And, yes, again. You'll occassionally find time to move about but it won't be very often. This isn't Gears of War, but it is a cover shooter which is probably what the prequels definately weren't.

I played an hour took some time off, came back and ploughed on for an hour before taking another break, and it was more manageable.

In fact, I couldn't help but keep turning it on, because for all the tired pew pew action there's something about it that's compelling. Max is ace. The voice is ace. Even when he shaves off his hair and goes all gringo on yo' ass, he's still Max Payne. He's dry, he's witty, he's sombre, he's depressed, he's a fucking maniac and you'll love him because Rockstar have done what only they can manage to do these days: make a fucking character you give a shit about and a story that you want to know what happens next. It's incredible really, when shooting was becoming boring I was eager to know what Max was doing to do next.

The story itself really isn't anything to write home about but with Rockstar's finesse driving the ship it's a joy and here's why:

It's the spiritual successor to Manhunt.

I sharn't ruin it for anyone, but anyone who loved Manhunt will instantly recognise all the same key notes in the last third of the game.

To be fair it's a mixed bag of a game with the start being quite promising, the middle being actually quite flat but then building up to a fabulous last third. So the shootings repetitive, the characters bring you along but there's three final things that make the game what it is and the reason why I think it's a pretty fantastic game all in all.

Firstly the animation is incredible. The bad dancers, the sexy ladies, Max dashing to cover, the police arresting folk, those kids playing football, etc. Marvellous.

The music is absolutely fricking sublime. It must be the greatest soundtrack to a game in recent times. The music compliments the action, the downtime, the emotion, the fear, just, well, everything. If it doesn't win some kind of award I'll be properly pissed off.

And the last thing are the visuals and specifically the environments. I doubt a single person who plays this will not come away thinking that these are some of the best environments that have ever existed inside a game. The level of detail on display is fucking ridiculous. The offices, the boat, the stadium, the night club, the streets, the pub, the slums, the police station etc jesus christ, everything is just fantastic. There's a section in an abandoned hotel (probably the best level actually) where the walls are crumbling, there's graffiti on every wall, there's shit up the walls... etc, and not a single texture is repeated (as far as I could see anyway). Everything just looks as though they made one of them. The problem is that I can see loads of gamers rushing through it and not stopping to look at what has been created for them. It's too easy to keep walking when you can look over the edge of a building and see the world around you.

Rockstar don't just create characters, they create worlds.

An absolutely fucking solid 8/10.

Pfft. That was Origin.

The PC port of GTAIV, once patched, and once the PC actually existed to play it properly - was a thing of spectacular beauty, and absolutely the version of choice.

(I completely agree it was a disaster area at release, and Rockstar's statement that were aiming at 'future hardware' was insulting at the time.)

Rockstar have been very upfront about working much harder on the PC version of Max Payne 3 right from the start, they're not calling it a port, and they are saying that it's going to be awesome out of the box.

I've already noted my reservations about this in my previous post, but the fact remains that the 360/PS3 are at the end of their lifetimes - and the PC points the way forward to the next-gen.

I... almost completely agree with Ian F.

I need to lie down.

So another third person shooter with pretty graphics. I've played a lot of those this generation!

Excellent write-up Ian, and you've totally sold me on this game

Sounds like all I would have wanted it to be, so it'll most likely do me a treat.

I think if you're a fan of the previous Max Payne games then you should definitely get it, as there's more than a few nods to them in here. Also if you like the way Rockstar craft their characters and stories - it's akin to an interactive summer blockbuster action movie.

If you don't then I probably wouldn't recommend it, as on the shooting alone it's merely above average.

I am a fan, but it was the shooty shooty slow mo fun I enjoyed, not the dogshit 'deliberately cheesy, honest - it's noir!" story.

Man I'm a right miserable cunt.

WTB achieves a state of self-awareness shocker.

There's still a lot of shooty shooty slow mo fun to be had, just that there's been a lot of games released since Max Payne 2, so it doesn't feel as innovative as it once was.

Good article about the music here.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/ga ... ept-albums

I still remember Max Payne like it was yesterday. Walking on heroin filled veins and hearing the baby crying.

I also remember that I didn't read the manual and so had no idea that bullet time existed. So I simply played through it the first time without even using it.

I never did go back and play it again.

The second one I became annoyed when I got to the "protect Mona from miles away as she runs along the train tracks" and never did get any further. I'm not a fan of those "protect some one else so you are not fully in control" moments as I tend to become annoyed quickly if said some one else is retarded.

Ho hum. No doubt I will end up buying it any way so that I can complete the collection. I too still have both of my originals.

Welcome, MaysLanding!

That's the point I gave up at! Could not bring myself to play that fucking bit one more time.

I loved it. Mind you I'm a miserable bastard at the best of times.

I really liked the first, and kept meaning to get the second, but never did and now there is a third I probably won't get as i haven't played the second. Same with Fear.

Fear 2 is about four hours long. Which is a shame as it really is a wonderful game. F3AR is 5H1T, so you're not really missing out on much.

Don't worry about the second. It's good, but the story is completely unrelated and a lot of his backstory is told through flashbacks anyway.

I enjoyed all three of the FEAR games albeit with diminishing returns with each sequel. The third has lots of good disposable fun to be had. I even made a topic about it here which was promptly descended upon by optometrists.

Too hard for me. Which kind of makes me a whining pussy hypocrite, but GOD DAMN it was hard. I spent about an hour fruitlessly shooting at things on a rooftop only to die.

And the save function was console-ised meaning you couldn't save as you went along.

Gaming optomerists!

Point taken. Just never again, aye? Ev-er.

A few chapters in and not really impressed so far. Max has been transplanted into a different city and had his life made into a film, which I occasionally get to push a few buttons in and swear at how clunky he feels. It looks swish, but that just adds to the feeling that I may have bought the Mark Wahlberg DVD by mistake.