Be Excellent To Each Other

Oh my good lord.



This is actually quite sad. Maybe he's lonely? Or he's trying to turn round the electorate one person at a time?

So - I propose a mass BETEO "write a whingey letter to Gordon Brown" day. We all write to him, and there's a chance one of us may get a phone call from the Great Man himself. This could become a weekly thing, even.

If he did then call you, how would you use your probably-a-once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to bend the ear of the Prime Minister? What would you say?

Du so.

"Whatever, dick."

"fUCK OFF YOU THIEVY THIEVING THIEF!"

I'd even say it with Caps Lock on accidentally!

Oh I dunno, if it's true it's pretty awesome. It's a bit of a fag, I'm sure, to ring up random people about their complaints. A PR stunt perhaps, but I don't think the possible positive reception would be worth the hassle.

I'd love it if Brown gave me a ring.

*tries in vain to tenuously get "brown ring" into a sentence*

I bet he reverses the charges too

I'd ask him why he manages to break so many keyboards and telephones and why so many doors slamming can be heard in number 10.

Could it be our glorious leader has a bit of a temper problem and takes it out on the nearest objects?

So with that in mind, I'd call him a "bad tempered humourless one eyed Scottish incompetent cunt who smells of lavender" and would wait for him to break yet another phone.

It's not cold calling if it's in response to a letter.

What's this about tantrums?

Pains me to say it, but that's quite an admirable thing to do. I'd shit myself if I'd written him a nasty letter and then the next thing I knew he was on the blower.

Do you think he calls all the little kids that write him letters like "I think you're our bestest prime minster ever"?

I'm not sure he'd know how to react to that. Probably by blushing and furiously doing that thing with his mouth.

Nah, he probably just shouts 'Thanks' up the stairs to 'em.

A rumour that was doing the rounds on Popbitch. Lots of smashed phones/keyboards, banging doors and treating the "little people" who work in Number 10 badly.

I don't. Whether we like him or not he's the Prime Minister and should be concentrating on more important affairs of state. It just smacks of insecurity.

['Prime Minister, Freedonia are about to launch a nuclear strike on Sylvania. I can't tell the President of the USA you'e on the phone to Mrs Bloggs']

It also smacks of something put out by his press office to make him sound human.

I'd be listening really hard for when he does that mouth thing. I wonder if it's audible? Anyone?

It makes you wonder how busy the chap is if he's got time for a few dozen phone calls a week to unsuspecting voters. Remember, he's got to read the letters first, then have a think about how he's going to argue with them, consult with his advisers, then phone them up. So that's a fair chunk out of your day for each phone call. Is this a good use of prime ministerial time?

Mrs Chris emailed David Cameron the other day and got a very pleasant and informative response from one of his assistants - she hadn't even been expecting that. She'd assumed they'd all be getting on with bickering with each other like children running the country.

Surely he has to be told by his advisors which letters to reply to, and told by some different advisors what to say?

Ah yes, indeed he does. Although I'm sure he wants a choice in which ones he responds to, so as to make sure that he's getting to a representative selection of *does thing with mouth* voters, to reassure them that he's making the difficult long term decisions *does thing with mouth* that are needed to keep the economy strong and stable *does thing with mouth, looks at notes*.

Whatever I think about the Prime Minister, I can only applaud him for this.

Because it's funny, or because you think it's a useful thing for him to be doing?

A bit of both.

I am still ill and breathing still hurts a bit. STOP BEING THIS FUNNY.


Edit: ... oh.

The trouble with this isn't just what Mr.Chris said about how much time it must take, but how useful is it, really? Most people (this is Britain, remember?) will be so surprised to get the call and realise it's the PM to say anything remotely useful. Not least because if I got a personal call from the PM asking for a chat/why I'd complained, my instinctive reaction would be to duck under the windowsill and scream to my housemates to take cover and/or head for the roof.

Well, I'd ask him why he'd not bought the subject up with the local MP in the Commons, first. (After sending the local MP a letter first, natch http://www.theyworkforyou.com).

"Hallo, is that Mrs. Crimmins?"
"Yes, who is this?"
"It's Gordon Brown."
"Who?"
"Gordon Brown. The Prime Minister."
"Fuck off, you're taking the piss." *click*

I want him to phone Mrs Trellis of North Wales.






Ah, Humph and Willie. We miss ye.