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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:50 
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Lord Humongous

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Well yeah, it's like that with most jobs though I suppose.

It's just from enjoying doing things in my own garden really.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:55 
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Ooh - I missed out three agency jobs.

I worked 12-hour shifts on a production line in a plastics factory that made baby wipes bottles. My job was taking the lids out of the machine (with gloves, because they were fucking hot) and closing them before putting them in the next machine. Job satisfaction a-go-go!

I did night shifts at a newspaper distributor, piling stacks of newspapers into a machine which bound them with that plastic tape stuff. Saw a guy lose 3 fingers doing that, nasty.

I did night shifts at the Royal Mail sorting office before Christmas. My job was to take all the stupid-shaped Christmas cards that the autosorting machine couldn't handle, and sort them by hand.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:56 
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Lord Humongous

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Craster wrote:
I did night shifts at the Royal Mail sorting office before Christmas. My job was to shake them to see if they had money in.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:11 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

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Craster wrote:
I did night shifts at the Royal Mail sorting office before Christmas. My job was to take all the stupid-shaped Christmas cards that the autosorting machine couldn't handle, and sort them by hand.


Oh, I did that one, too. My job was to stand still for ten hours, hunched over a standing desk, and sort piles of letters into first, second and business class.

I've never experienced back ache like that before or since. Terrible work, but decent pay.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:12 
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Gogmagog

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I worked the Christmas Post once. Loved it. Did fuck all, got paid.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:13 
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Zardoz wrote:
Craster wrote:
I did night shifts at the Royal Mail sorting office before Christmas. My job was to steal them if they had twelve £1 coins taped to the outside.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:25 
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Lord Humongous

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...

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 12:54 
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It's all pish

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Zardoz wrote:
You know if I wasn't in this job I'd love to work as a gardener.

:this: I suppose it'd be a bit of a crap job here though, since there'd only be about 5 months work every year.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:27 
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All-righty. I'm sort of interested to see this myself (and to see how much I'll forget). It's going to be a long'un. These are sort of in order, although often jobs overlap each other.

So, my first job was working on a farm, shovelling grain into a Archimedes screw type thing.
Various other farm jobs followed, involving normal farm-type stuff, and one escape from certain death. If you want to see me go white when telling a story, ask me about it.
Me and a friend did some gardening around the village we lived in - we earned £1 an hour each. Whoo yeah!
I helped my old man look after a rich chap's racing cars sometimes, which involved going to race tracks and stuff, often in other parts of Western Europe. They were the only times I left the UK.
I've beaten for bird shoots a few times.
I worked as a trapper (person that presses the buttons when someone says "pull") at a clay pigeon shooting site, eventually becoming a CPSA referee.
I've worked till at Sainsbury's and Tesco, and had jobs at KFC, McDonalds and Burger King.
I buy a flashing light and dig the sub speakers out of my car to be a DJ for a night. I keep it up for a long time.
I worked as a cashier for a local petrol station. I used to play on my Playstation on a black and white TV under the counter.
I left school, which I was shit at.
I went to work for Spalding (the sports people) picking goods in their warehouses. I got fired for crashing a forklift into one of the shelving units and knocking a load of stuff down. That same weekend I got fired from the petrol station because the boss thought I was stealing cigarettes. Not a great weekend.
Then I got a job with a company I can't remember the name of, who used to make rubber door seals for cars. My job was to measure the door seals against a bit of wood, making sure they fell within two marks. I stood there from 8pm to 8am, measuring one every five seconds, at a guess. In the two months I worked there, I had three seals that were the wrong length :S
I remember wanting to stay at that company, because when you'd been there for a year they would send you to Germany for two weeks on an exchange program. I get really weird emotions when I think now about how excited that made me - mostly fear and guilt, like I'm betraying myself somehow. Fuck knows. The job was turning me into a fucking zombie though, so I quit.
I get a job with a builder friend of the guy running the clay pigeon site helping him out building a garage when he was low on staff. I tell him I can drive a JCB backhoe loader, which I'd done once about six years ago, but it turned out I was fairly handy at it. He kept me on after the garage job, and loaned me some money so I could get the proper license for driving vehicles on building sites and let me pay it back out of my wages each week. I remember crying when he offered it to me, because it was the first time anyone had done anything like that for me. Builders have trouble knowing what to do in those situations ;)
I get work in a night club at the weekends. I start in the bar, but after one night I'm moved to 'indoor security'. As I didn't have a certificate, I wasn't allowed to be an official bouncer, but that's what I was. I DJed at the club a few times, too. At that time I was working for the builder all week, bouncing on Friday and Saturday nights, doing my JCB course on Saturdays and still working for the clay pigeon site on Sunday. I was perfectly happy and would still be doing it now, but a girl broke my heart and everything went to shit.
Four weeks later I have no jobs at all, and don't leave the house except to put the bins out. I'd saved a thousand pounds or so up over the years, so I could probably have stayed that way for a few months. At the time I didn't think much about it, but it's pretty clear that I was depressed. It fucking sucks. That whole time, and a lot of stuff from my relationship with said girl has simply vanished from my head. It sounds like a cliché but I really have to try hard to remember things about it, and often I can't at all.
A guy called Jake saved my life, and got me the fucked up "job" of living in a woman's house. She worked for Shell, and spend 95% of her time in Dubai. I looked after her house.
I took what was left of my money to pay the builder back (it was about £700). He told me he'd forget about it if I came back to work for him and finished the course. I agreed, but there was no crying this time - I was (and am) a very different person to the guy he used to employ.
I prove this three weeks later by resigning the second I had completed the course to work for Her Majesties Highways, building the Bedford bypass. He was understandably angry about it, and asked for the his money back. My last words to him were "show me a fucking contract and it's yours". One day I'll call him up and apologise.
I discover that working on roads is exactly what everyone thinks it is - basically a fuckload of waiting. I learned how to work all kinds of machinery, it was awesome. When the road was nearly finished, I got into an argument with the foreman about wearing my hard hat when I was inside the tractor. He called my bad things. I laughed in his face. He pushed me, I pushed him. He went to hit me and I took him out. Unsurprisingly, that was the end of that job.
Jake had moved into the woman's house with me by then, and he lived in a somewhat different world - he was a computer programmer and earned loads of money, and he was bisexual, a thing that hadn't existed in my life up until then. He was an attractive guy and never had any trouble hooking up with either sex. I would always be his wingman, but because I was out of work I couldn't afford drinks once he'd pulled, so I started introducing myself to women by telling them they should buy me a drink. Thus was born the "aggressive romantic style" that led to :titler: It also found its way into the rest of my life, and now it's hard to imagine a not hyper-arrogant me.
Anyhow, Jake had got me interested in computers, and I got a job working in a warehouse 'refurbishing' laser printers and keyboards, which basically meant I'd test them, replace any broken parts from the big "pile of bits" if I could, and clean them. If they were properly past it, I'd strip them for the pile. Unfortunately the company ran out of money, and had to let me go.
Next door to where my dad worked a new branch for a nationwide "IT warrantee" company move in, and I got a job with them. They gave me a Rover 600si and I had to drive around the country swapping faulty hardware out, or repairing it on site if I could. I loved the job, but I hated the boss, and he hated me. Eventually he used the fact that I was putting petrol in my car on a Friday night and a Monday morning to fire me, although everyone else did it too. Cunt. I grab a "beyond repair" PC on my way out, and fix it when I get home. It's the first one I'd ever owned.
Hooking up with a temp company I work for Fujifilm telling lorries what printers (big, photo-processing printers) to take where. I work for Eastern Energy, helping renew contracts for big companies during their end of year rush. I do various other things too, that I don't really remember. My first software job is for something to do with the parole office - I made them an Access database thing that let them store all their employee details. There were printed-off help files everywhere :) All the time I'm still earning money from the woman who wants me to live in her house. Years of having no money at all had made me put letters from the bank into the bin as soon as they arrived, but when Jake realised I was doing that he told me off and dug one back out, and I had over £10,000. That was one Hell of a night.
Off I went to work for a company called Tenser, that invented smart cards (credit cards with remote-read chips in, like Oyster cards) as a software tester. I write a "fault database" in PHP. I can't begin to imagine how terrible my code was. I stay at Tenser for a fair while.
Miss Grim... (she wasn't Mrs Grim... back then) suddenly decides to do an MA in London, and invites me to come with her. I leave my job at Tenser, and move to Bermondsey. I blag my way to a couple of Guest DJ spots at The End, and get paid more for fours hours work there than I used to get for a week digging up roads. I get an interview for a role of Junior Web Developer, and lie through my teeth. Bullshit needle pushed to critical, I get the job, which pays twice what I earned at Tenser. I've stayed there ever since, and HERE ENDS THE SURPRISINGLY PERSONAL BALLAD OF THE WORKING LIFE OF GRIM....

TLDR: I've done a lot of different jobs.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:28 
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Bloody Hell.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:33 
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Grim... wrote:
Bloody Hell.


You've not sobered up yet, then.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:34 
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INFINITE POWAH

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Heh - you guys out last night?

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:34 
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Grim... wrote:
I worked as a cashier for a local petrol station. I used to play on my Playstation on a black and white TV under the counter.
I left school, which I was shit at.
I went to work for Spalding (the sports people) picking goods in their warehouses. I got fired for crashing a forklift into one of the shelving units and knocking a load of stuff down. That same weekend I got fired from the petrol station because the boss thought I was stealing cigarettes. Not a great weekend.


Presumably you wouldn't have got fired from the garage if you hadn't unplugged their CCTV to plug your Playstation in? :p


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:37 
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Joans wrote:
Grim... wrote:
I worked as a cashier for a local petrol station. I used to play on my Playstation on a black and white TV under the counter.
I left school, which I was shit at.
I went to work for Spalding (the sports people) picking goods in their warehouses. I got fired for crashing a forklift into one of the shelving units and knocking a load of stuff down. That same weekend I got fired from the petrol station because the boss thought I was stealing cigarettes. Not a great weekend.


Presumably you wouldn't have got fired from the garage if you hadn't unplugged their CCTV to plug your Playstation in? :p

No, they didn't mind the TV. It's probably all the cigarettes I stole.

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I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:37 
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Heavy Metal Tough Guy

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I know a guy who did a school project on farm safety ( Geography A-Level, I think ) and he once showed me a file of coroners reports from farm accidents he had compiled. Blooming 'eck, I was having open-grain-screw and unguarded-drive-shaft related nightmares for a while. I can well imagine your escape from certain death.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:47 
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By my estimates, Grim... is about 4768 years old.

:DD

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:48 
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Grim... wrote:
Bloody Hell.


I'm glad you said :this:

That's a lot of interesting stuff... and without it all, we'd probably all be paying £2 a month to chat.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 13:49 
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Squirt wrote:
I know a guy who did a school project on farm safety ( Geography A-Level, I think ) and he once showed me a file of coroners reports from farm accidents he had compiled. Blooming 'eck, I was having open-grain-screw and unguarded-drive-shaft related nightmares for a while. I can well imagine your escape from certain death.


A good friend is an HSE accident inspector with responsibility for farm accidents. She's seen some things, mind.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:00 
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Lord Humongous

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Craster wrote:
A good friend is an HSE accident inspector with responsibility for farm accidents. She's seen some things, mind.

Bull shit.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:03 
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Curiosity wrote:
By my estimates, Grim... is about 4768 years old.

:DD

I know, right? There's this big old list of stuff and then "then I left school" :S

Like said, a lot of the jobs overlapped, and I did some on some days of the week and some on others.

I've remembered two more - working in a dairy for a temp agency hauling big trollies of milk around (which involved a fight with a French guy called "Ox", which is a fairly interesting story) but when they found out I was fairly smart and could speak English they bumped me up to "robot technician", which basically meant when the robots got stuck I would smack the stuck bit with with a steel rod until they worked again. If this didn't help I would use my rod to bend the mischievous bit out of the way.
Another job involved doing HTML web work for a small one-man company, which I got because I was fucking his daughter at the time. I stopped fucking his daughter, and the job ended soon after that. Thus began my oath that I would never get into a relationship with anyone who was something to do with my job.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:08 
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Lord Humongous

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I'd just like to say Working Stiffs?

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:12 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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Grim... wrote:
lots of stuff


See people, that's the way to do it. The rest of you with your one line lists should be ashamed.

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:16 
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Isn't that lovely?

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Trooper wrote:
Grim... wrote:
lots of stuff


See people, that's the way to do it. The rest of you with your one line lists should be ashamed.



PFFT! - mine weren't no list!

Malc

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:17 
SupaMod
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Trooper wrote:
Grim... wrote:
lots of stuff


See people, that's the way to do it. The rest of you with your one line lists should be ashamed.

I've just realised the depression bit in the middle is clearly my origin story. Awesome :D

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:20 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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Grim... wrote:
Trooper wrote:
Grim... wrote:
lots of stuff


See people, that's the way to do it. The rest of you with your one line lists should be ashamed.

I've just realised the depression bit in the middle is clearly my origin story. Awesome :D


It would be your crappy song scene in "Grim...s Christmas Carol"

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:21 
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Readers with a keen memory may remember Jake as the guy who got the mystery ticket to France, and the fucking epic events that followed after.

He's still in Mexico, by the way, determined to find her.

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:26 
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baron of techno

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Zardoz wrote:
Craster wrote:
A good friend is an HSE accident inspector with responsibility for farm accidents. She's seen some things, mind.

Bull shit.


:)

I used to work in the forest machine industry. Heard a few nasty tales there, probably told this one before.
This is the big tree harvester machines, which have a harvester head with hydraulic rollers, delimbing knives and chainsaw on the end of like a digger boom. Common problem was wires and pipes getting knocked off by stray branches or careless operation. The machines costed something like £250k so they tended to double shift them, working all night, just the operator by himself.
If anything broke, they'd try to fix it, illuminated by the powerful floodlights on the machine. You'd leave the engine on else the batteries would go flat in minutes. Sometimes it was an electrical problem, so they'd leave the computer switched on too, to try to diagnose it. Man got crushed when he cut the wrong wire, blew a fuse and the head closed up on him, knives, rollers and all. The next operator found him in the morning. Engine still running and radio playing in the nice warm cab a few metres away. Bad way to go.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:32 
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Oof. I know a guy, an experienced farmer, who put his hand into a baler to unjam it and simply forgot to disengage the PTO from the tractor first. Luckily, he didn't fit into the baler itself (it was a smaller, square-bale one rather than a round one) so it couldn't suck him right in, but the fucker tore his arm off :S

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Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:33 
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Woah....Thanks for sharing Grim..., that's an interesting story!

Does Craster still love cock this morning?

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 Post subject: Re: Working stiffs
PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2011 14:35 
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baron of techno

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I like Grim...'s life story too!


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