Be Excellent To Each Other

I'm going to break my yummy culinary experiences down into the two most important food types

Curry
There's two outstanding curry restaurants in Nottingham, which I firmly believe would be hard to top. Strangely they're both at completely different ends of the financial scale.

At the cheaper end of the scale there's Desi Downtown. http://desidowntown.co.uk/menu.html Seriously cheap food (starters, mains, rice, naan and a big bottle of Cobra - under £30 for two people).

At the more expensive end of the scale - Mem Saab. http://www.mem-saab.co.uk/menu.html They do THE best lamb shank I've ever had. The chutneys are so nice I would be happy to sit in a bath of them.

Sunday Roast
Everyone loves a good roast and no one does a good roast quite like The Hand & Heart in Nottingham. http://www.thehandandheart.co.uk/. The roast beef is outstanding, but is completely blown away by the belly pork. Massive Yorkshire puddings that look like they've been inflated with a bicycle pump and the most tasty vegetables I've ever had. The portions are so large that it's pretty much impossible to eat more than one course (I managed 3 courses once when I went with my dad - he's a greedy bastard is a dreadful influence on me. I nearly died of fullness).
The range of ales and ciders is awesome also. Proper lovely cloudy cider. Yum yum.



So, that's my non-fine dining guide to eating out in Nottingham

Good beer there. We cycled along the canal from Sale during the summer.

Cycling back after 5 pints on an empty stomach was somewhat entertaining.

I think the Hand & Heart qualifies as fine dining, although the school canteen style queue for dessert is a bit odd.

Yeah, it's a bit like a glorified dessert trolley. Totally worth it though - the lemon & almond tart is totes amazeballs really nice

Was that the place where we nearly died of starvation waiting for food?

Yep It was worth the wait though! Although to be fair by that point I'd have eaten a scabby dog.

Yeah, walking in at 2pm on Sunday with a party of seven without a reservation was a mistake, in hindsight.

If we hadn't been able to get a table I'd agree. But they could have been more honest with us about how long the wait was actually going to be.

Important news. Gaucho now stock both skirt and flank. The skirt is very, very good.

I went there on Friday. It was this: meh. Nice enough, but I've had much better meals elsewhere for less money. And they made me late back to work despite their supposed guarantee of doing lunch within an hour.

I'm sure they had skirt on the menu last time we went.

Nope. It was new to their menu 2 months ago. They'd printed the menus but hadn't yet had the beef in - I was greatly annoyed.

Maybe it was a special.

You're special.

eating in bologna last week was special, the love of food in that city, nicknamed 'il grasso' (the fat one) is so clear from every spot in the city..

Went to one the other week. Bloody awful. Overpriced, undercooked and terribly, terribly pretentious.

The risotto milanese is very nice, mind. Someone who knows me well was stunned when I ordered a marrow risotto, until it arrived and quite clearly wasn't the vegetable kind.

Was it a dark green cock on a bed of rice?

Never, ever, go to a decent restaurant in London. In comparison, Jamie's Italian is refreshingly cheap and thoroughly unpretentious!

Gaucho only do skirt and flank in 300g portions? What the fuck?

Buy two.

I find 300g a reasonable portion, frankly. Especially as I never miss out on their excellent starters.

Good points both.

I'm also horrified to find myself contemplating the £16 burger. But not seriously considering it, obviously.

It's funny, but I can't seem to find the option in our time logging system for 'knocking up a fake gaucho voucher in paint.'

L'Enclume booked.

Are you staying over?

With a five hour drive home? Yes

I figured you'd be staying in the area... But not necessarily in one of their rooms.

I want to go but I'm not sure about staying there, let us know how you find it and which room type you go for.

Grabbing a curry on the way back home?

A new challenger appears! Went to Texture last night (http://www.texture-restaurant.co.uk) and it was pretty damned incredible. We had a six course fish tasting menu ( ) with a heavy Scandinavian influence, and it was a real challenger for the top few spots in my list. Excellent stuff.

Best grub I've ever had was at the Vila Joya in sunny Portugal. Two Michelin stars, no less; utter FILTH.

(I'm taking Mrs Caveman there for a week later this year. All I can say is, my bellend will resemble a highly polished chrome-plated bullnose fairing, by the end of that. Worth every penny. )

You're taking her to a restaurant for a week?


I think the other diners might get upset

Ooh, yes. That really does look good.

It's a health spa type thingy mate, with hotel accommodation and restaurant.

http://www.vilajoya.com/

We're only in 'poverty spec' room - sod paying for the suites or whatever, could not afford anyway. But everyone gets the same scoff!

Not Cavey's bellend, FFS.

What about if you could see your own face in it? A quandary.

I'm not convinced that makes it masturbation

Well, the Vila Joya will never seem quite the same again for me...

That's a good point, arseholes (which includes me, I suppose) - Cavey has spent all his monies taking his wife away to get himself some hot lovin', and now all he'll be able to think about when he gets down to it is being balls-deep in Craster's furry ginger face.

Anyway, at the other end of the price scale, I can *massively* recommend this gastropub:

http://www.foxandbarrel.co.uk/

There are not many pubs that I know which routinely serve Dom Pérignon and a half dozen oysters on an ice bed (with shallot vinegar and Tabasco, naturally) as a starter. Assuming you don't order that, a fantastic meal for two for £30 can easily be had; fabulous cuisine IMO. They always have three guest real ales - invariably excellent and immaculately kept for less than £3/pint. Top stuff; you can't beat a good, friendly country pub. (Fab wenches pulling the pints, too )

Hey, on the other hand, Craster's a bit of a sauce-pot anyway mate, so no worries

/taxi!

Hmm. That’s only a few miles away.

It's like mental viagra!

(@ Malabelm lol... )

Give it a go mate, you won't be disappointed. Hey, perhaps we could have a mini-country-bumpkin-BeexMeet when the weather gets better, for beer garden-tastic japes.

There is a pub near me called The Fox and Hounds which I dragged Gaywood and Craster to which does awesome steak for silly prices.

Two Michelin stars is good. Three is where it's at though. Eating at two three-star restaurants in 8 days was a touch extravagant though.

Michelin stars are old hat. I ate at a place recently that had four Pirelli moons.

I can only afford two golden arches

You probably want to make it more than just you and malabelm. Otherwise it's going to look a bit like you're grooming him.