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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 12:51 
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Gogmagog

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Cavey wrote:
Kern wrote:
Good that Mrs Harman admitted her mistake too. Very rare in politics.


Must be another one of those mea culpas ;)


Tom Watson said it on R4, too.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 14:39 
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I think all fruit machines should be reverted to doable £70 machines (specifically the ones I know the methods for) and sited in my home town on a generous payout percentage of 90%.

Sensible policies for happier times.

Seriously though, I nearly lost my life to fruit machines (as documented here and elsewhere), but I don't have any particular desire to see them banned for adults. Definitely outlawed for children though. Strictly over 18s only. And also you should be able to buy MDMA for personal use and then have a gamble whilst off your tits.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 14:46 
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There was a horrible man on Radio 2 at lunch time talking about this. I didn’t catch it all as I was far more interested in playing Super Mario Odyssey but he reckoned that no one gambled £100 at a time and the machines weren’t a problem.

Apparently the high street would suffer without the presence of betting shops.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 14:48 
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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 14:50 
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TheVision wrote:
Apparently the high street would suffer without the presence of betting shops.

You do have to wonder what would fill the gaps.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 14:58 
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Grim... wrote:
TheVision wrote:
Apparently the high street would suffer without the presence of betting shops.

You do have to wonder what would fill the gaps.


Beex merchandise outlets.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:00 
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Gogmagog

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devilman wrote:
Grim... wrote:
TheVision wrote:
Apparently the high street would suffer without the presence of betting shops.

You do have to wonder what would fill the gaps.


Beex merchandise outlets.


VR booths where even you YES YOU can experience being MaliA for only £1.15 a minute.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:12 
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I know it's a crazy idea, but if row upon row of shop buildings on High Streets across the land have no use anymore because there's the internet and it's not 1986, then instead of endless bookies, pound shops and empty shops, can't we convert these buildings to do what we actually do need, or knock them down to make way for new, relevant developments? There is a housing shortage?

Crazy joined up thinking I know. Go me!

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:15 
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I agree with you Cavey. I've said for a long time now that the high street has had it's day.

I used to work for the local council and they were forever coming up with some daft schemes to drive people back into shopping in the High Street but funnily enough, nothing worked.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:18 
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When similar arguments are raised for my home town, the usual reason given for the empty shops is the high rents, so unless your shop is part of a big chain, it's not feasible to be anywhere near the town centre. So, it's lots of betting shops and charity shops here, with a few big names remaining, plus lots of new cafes and coffee shops.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:22 
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How are charity shops and pound shops capable of being profitable with high st rent prices?

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:25 
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Cras wrote:
How are charity shops and pound shops capable of being profitable with high st rent prices?


Don't charity shops get big discounts on rent? As for pound shops, they're probably the most popular shops in my home town, so I guess the sheer volume of people eventually covers it.

Hmm, according to this page, charities still pay rent, but have other tax concessions instead.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 15:40 
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Also, in Mrs Squirt's experience, charity shops pay low wages ( although I don't think your average high street retail is too hot anyway), have low paid staff levels, obviously have low stock costs and often barely scrape a profit anyway.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 17:31 
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asfish wrote:
Its little wonder the bookies are not happy with any change to the maximum £100 stake

The FOBT takings look to be almost all from these stakes vs the £2 a spin games


Meh, this is probably balls on my part, but looking at that figure, FOBTs made something like £2,300,000,000 profit (yield, not turnover) in one year. Now, if you say that there are roughly 60 million people in the country, that means that for every man, woman and child, FOBTs made a per-capita profit (yield) of £38.33 in one year.

Now, if we assume that these random machines are playing roulette, with a payout of around 97%, this means that in order to generate £38.33 profit, the player would need to shovel through £1277.66 (on average).

So basically, the amount of annual profit from B2 and B3 FOBTs in the UK is akin to every man, woman and child pumping nearly £1300 a year (over £100 every month) into the bloody things...? I've probably made some daft mistake or other here (I know UK population is a bit higher than 60m etc., not sure whether non-roulette FOBT games also have 97% payout or less etc.), but you get my drift. It's a shitload of money. 8)

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 17:34 
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Cavey wrote:
I know it's a crazy idea, but if row upon row of shop buildings on High Streets across the land have no use anymore because there's the internet and it's not 1986, then instead of endless bookies, pound shops and empty shops, can't we convert these buildings to do what we actually do need, or knock them down to make way for new, relevant developments? There is a housing shortage?

Crazy joined up thinking I know. Go me!

This sounds worryingly like socialism. What with this and your calls for heavy-handed regulation in the gambling industry you're starting to sound like a swivel-eyed lefty.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 17:36 
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:DD

Oh NO........

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 17:39 
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To be fair though mate, I know I'm a rabid TORY TWATTO around these parts :D but IRL there are plenty who think my eyes are dangerously prone to to wandering off in quasi-independent arcs. :p Seriously!
I guess it's normal (and good) for your typical person's politics to be a smorgasbord of left, right and middle; mine errs to the centre and right, but there certainly are still fairly left wing bits as well, and I'm a lifelong CND supporter. :D

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Tue Oct 31, 2017 17:59 
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:kiss:


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:43 
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Cavey wrote:
You can literally bet £700 *per spin* via your phone, tablet or PC, anywhere there's 3G reception or internet.


Holy shit, that's crazy. You could literally lose a years wages in two minutes.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:46 
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Squirt wrote:
Cavey wrote:
You can literally bet £700 *per spin* via your phone, tablet or PC, anywhere there's 3G reception or internet.


Holy shit, that's crazy. You could literally lose a years wages in two minutes.

Or less, if you're Northern!


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:48 
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In Walsall, one of the shopping centres that has seen a lot of shops move out temporarily gives its empty units to the art gallery/shop so every unit is nearly always full of wonderful colourful things made by loads of different people.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:29 
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Mr Russell wrote:
In Walsall, one of the shopping centres that has seen a lot of shops move out temporarily gives its empty units to the art gallery/shop so every unit is nearly always full of wonderful colourful things made by loads of different people.


That's great and I commend it to an extent, so much better than whitewashed windows etc. obv.
But FFS, we have a massive housing shortage, can't someone in local government actually join the dots here and incentivise the redevelopment of shops as social housing, by removing all the ridiculous Change of Use planning restrictions which massively prevent this from happening? They could easily state they (the Planners) would only consider such a relaxation where 25-50% of a given development was given over to social housing, still giving the private sector sufficient incentive to develop, but achieving a socially useful result.

Still, fat chance eh. Ever had any dealings with Planners, or indeed councils in general? It's taken 8 years and counting (with no end in sight) to get a pathway re-routed around here, those guys won't be hurried beyond a blinkered, glacial pace for anyone or anything. The very thought of them actually thinking outside of any box whatsoever, is laughable.

Murals it is then.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:10 
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Mr Russell wrote:
In Walsall, one of the shopping centres that has seen a lot of shops move out temporarily gives its empty units to the art gallery/shop so every unit is nearly always full of wonderful colourful things made by loads of different people.


Funny story... They do that in Dudley too and one day there was a painting of the iconic picture of the cover art from Doom. It wasn't very good and I took a picture of it to show my dad as he likes to paint. We both agreed that the perspective was all wrong and it was very flat. Nice effort, but not very good at all.

Fast forward a few years later and there I am meeting up with the old bass player from my band. I haven't seen him for around 10 years and what do you know, his wife painted it and it's now hanging up in his studio... Along with other, not very good pictures. She's done a Storm trooper pointing out the canvas but he only has 3 fingers.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:11 
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Art in interesting spaces is always good.

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 12:41 
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TheVision wrote:
Mr Russell wrote:
In Walsall, one of the shopping centres that has seen a lot of shops move out temporarily gives its empty units to the art gallery/shop so every unit is nearly always full of wonderful colourful things made by loads of different people.


Funny story... They do that in Dudley too and one day there was a painting of the iconic picture of the cover art from Doom. It wasn't very good and I took a picture of it to show my dad as he likes to paint. We both agreed that the perspective was all wrong and it was very flat. Nice effort, but not very good at all.

Fast forward a few years later and there I am meeting up with the old bass player from my band. I haven't seen him for around 10 years and what do you know, his wife painted it and it's now hanging up in his studio... Along with other, not very good pictures. She's done a Storm trooper pointing out the canvas but he only has 3 fingers.


pics plz. Also, does she do requests? I'd like Rick Dangerous stabbing Zool in the face using a shard from a shattered Cool Spot.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 15:00 
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Findus Fop wrote:
pics plz. Also, does she do requests? I'd like Rick Dangerous stabbing Zool in the face using a shard from a shattered Cool Spot.


I'm sure she would but I can't guarantee it'd be any good.

Also, I can't find the picture. I have it somewhere so as soon as I find it, I'll post it.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 15:39 
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TheVision wrote:
Findus Fop wrote:
pics plz. Also, does she do requests? I'd like Rick Dangerous stabbing Zool in the face using a shard from a shattered Cool Spot.


I'm sure she would but I can't guarantee it'd be any good.

Also, I can't find the picture. I have it somewhere so as soon as I find it, I'll post it.


Was it LewieP's mum who used to do videogame art? They were genuinely good.


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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 16:09 
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Squirt wrote:
Cavey wrote:
You can literally bet £700 *per spin* via your phone, tablet or PC, anywhere there's 3G reception or internet.


Holy shit, that's crazy. You could literally lose a years wages in two minutes.


Needless to say I've never bet £700 per spin or indeed anything close to it, however when I set about beating the 'unbeatable' 1777% bonus at Tropica Casino and needed to wager something like £127,000 over a 72 hour period I had to do a lot of the grinding at £7.50 per spin, the amount your bankroll can fluctuate with those kinds of spins every 2-3 seconds is pretty scary. Swings of hundreds of pounds every few minutes were commonplace.

(For the record I beat the bonus on my second attempt, and walked away with £1050 from a £100 deposit, although my total investment was £200 as it took me two attempts to beat it.)

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Wed Nov 01, 2017 16:32 
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Hearthly wrote:
Squirt wrote:
Cavey wrote:
You can literally bet £700 *per spin* via your phone, tablet or PC, anywhere there's 3G reception or internet.


Holy shit, that's crazy. You could literally lose a years wages in two minutes.


Needless to say I've never bet £700 per spin or indeed anything close to it, however when I set about beating the 'unbeatable' 1777% bonus at Tropica Casino and needed to wager something like £127,000 over a 72 hour period I had to do a lot of the grinding at £7.50 per spin, the amount your bankroll can fluctuate with those kinds of spins every 2-3 seconds is pretty scary. Swings of hundreds of pounds every few minutes were commonplace.

(For the record I beat the bonus on my second attempt, and walked away with £1050 from a £100 deposit, although my total investment was £200 as it took me two attempts to beat it.)


The highest stake I've ever done is about £45 a spin, but that was purely by accident. Nearly all of the online casinos will remember the previous stake settings from last time you played it, but this one slot at this one casino didn't do that, so I ended up rattling through a few spins at £45 a pop before realising that my balance had been fluctuating wildly. Thankfully I noticed it before too long and hadn't lost too much money. Obviously I lost it all in the end anyway though. ;)

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 Post subject: Re: The pointless emulation thread - fruit machines
PostPosted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 11:13 
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Did alright last night, £36 in for the £150 on Swing My Axe. (Was called 'Kiss My Axe' on the test machines but people complained it was rude so they changed it for the released machine.)

That makes a reasonable £114 profit in less than 15 minutes, although as my chum notes on the video the last couple of sessions have resulted in modest losses of around £20, but the point is whether or not you're up overall, not every encounter is a guaranteed win.

They hate me so much in that pub they said they didn't have any money in the tills to change the coins for notes. So we went over the road and the barmaid in there was happy to change them into notes for me, and the beer was nicer too.

This is now one of only TWO traditional fruit machines left in Ramsey, all the other machines are random £500ers, and they do some fierce fucking business. They really shouldn't be in pubs at all IMO, but we have different legislation here. The pubs were modestly busy last night and wherever we went, the random £500ers were being played, one pub has four of the fuckers, it's like a little mini casino.

I've heard from someone who used to work for the guy who sites them, that on average each unit pulls in £50K per year profit.

You could make the argument that random machines are 'fairer', but their ability to take money off people massively outstrips traditional fruit machines, and because they're not compensated they don't have to eventually chuck a chunk of money back out to the player.

Also, I can't reliably make money off them and I like free nights out, so there's that.


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