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So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks.

Bamba wrote:

So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks.

Well that sucks, sorry to hear it, man. What you need is a big blowout to take your mind off it. Come to the Christmas quiz.

So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks.

If it helps Bamba, I say "fuck sticks" too.

Saturnalian wrote:

If it helps Bamba, I say "fuck sticks" too.

I also, but as 'fucksticks'. Not sure why that's important.

Further emo nonsense: not-Mrs B is perfectly happy to remain friends so now I need to work out whether I can do that (hmmmmm) and, if not, make sure that I do cut contact rather than falling in to the obvious trap of waiting for her to be ready for something more while pretending I'm totally not doing that (as the issue genuinely is that she's not ready for a relationship rather than because things aren't actually quite good between us). I do so want to avoid the obvious fucking cliche trap here, while also not throwing a nice friendship under the bus if that level of drastic reaction isn't required. Fucksticks.

Bamba wrote:

That sucks, and is a situation I don't envy. A couple of things I will say (that you should not take as anything other than my opinion, I'm just putting it out there for consideration even though you didn't ask and probably don't want it... But fuck it

): I believe she means that she isn't ready for a relationship but she'll probably only realise she is ready when the right person comes along. If you stay friends with her, and actively pursue friendship, you risk being around to watch her move on with someone else. If you take a step back, tell her you'd like her to keep in touch and to let you know if she's ever in your neck of the woods, you put the ball in her court. That way, if she realises she would like a relationship with you, she'll get in touch. If she doesn't, both of you avoid any awkwardness and you don't fall into the trap of wondering whether and when would be a good time to email her or otherwise get in touch when you don't have much to say and you just want to speak to her. I know a faint heart never won a fair maiden and all that but if you've been close, she will definitely get back in touch with you if she wants more.

Bamba wrote:

Ha ha, oh dear. What was there first the water or the car?

That would be my advice too.

Author:	Zardoz [ Thu Dec 04, 2014 20:39 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
I'm at the end of that shitty cold virus thing, never had one quite like it before. Just at the coughing myself awake stage now.

Author:	Bamba [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:10 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks.

Author:	TheVision [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 11:15 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Sorry to hear that Bamba.

Author:	Jem [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 12:46 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Sorry dude

Author:	myp [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 12:49 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Women are nothing but trouble anyway.

Be Excellent To Each Other https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/

The 'NAY!' Thread https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7130	Page 85 of 150

Author:	Bamba [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 13:06 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Thanks folks.

Author:	Cras [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 13:07 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Bamba wrote: So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks. Well that sucks, sorry to hear it, man. What you need is a big blowout to take your mind off it. Come to the Christmas quiz.

Author:	Bamba [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 13:24 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Cras wrote: Bamba wrote: So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks. Well that sucks, sorry to hear it, man. What you need is a big blowout to take your mind off it. Come to the Christmas quiz. Heh, I might actually be down in That London seeing friends at some point over Christmas but I don't know the dates yet. And due to the horrible health bullshit I'm dealing with at the moment (doctor appointment this morning saw a lot of blood being drawn so that a whole spectrum of stuff could be tested for) I don't really want to make any plans in case I'm too fucked up. It never fucking rains eh?

Author:	DavPaz [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 13:31 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
I've heard beer is good for {illness}

Author:	KovacsC [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 15:29 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Finally caught up with this thread. Bamba, hope you get well soon, sorry about the lass. The rest of you man up, it is a cold!!!

Author:	asfish [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 15:42 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Bamba wrote: So the possible, maybe, sort of, might be, future Mrs B has just emailed me to say that she's decided she can only really be friends. Absolutely fucking gutted, if I'm honest. Fuck sticks. Sorry to hear that, hope it works out for you whatever you decide to do.

Author:	Satsuma [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 16:59 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
If it helps Bamba, I say "fuck sticks" too.

Author:	Bamba [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 17:04 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Saturnalian wrote: If it helps Bamba, I say "fuck sticks" too. My current swear du jour seems to have become 'fuck a duck' for some reason. I'm not sure where that's come from or why moments of frustration/annoyance trigger a desire to violate water-fowl.

Author:	Cras [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 17:14 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Saturnalian wrote: If it helps Bamba, I say "fuck sticks" too. I also, but as 'fucksticks'. Not sure why that's important.

Author:	asfish [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 16:58 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Christmas Cold has arrived for me already. Had to cancel a steak in London with my brother tomorrow night as the drinking and late night would not help me get better. Cost me £70 to cancel the hotel I booked and I'm sat here shivering drinking Lemsip Max

Author:	Ramsea [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 19:11 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
So, crashed my bike last night in the rain. Luckily wasnt going too fast and didn't hit anything other than the road. Got a major dead leg and hand is pretty sore. I don't think its fractured but it's my drinking hand so pretty pissed off about that. The worst thing is the cost, I'm not sure about damage yet, but I'm guessing it'll be close to a grand. Minimum 650 for insurance excess. Just before xmas. Excellent timing. Edit to add: it's also my wiping arse hand. Have you ever tried to use the wrong hand? Bloody impossible I tell ya.

Author:	Zardoz [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 23:57 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Ouch Ramsea, mend well soon mate. Bikes and money are replaceable, glad you're still in one piece. Plenty of arsewipes on here, I'm sure you'll be ok

Author:	Ramsea [ Thu Dec 18, 2014 0:15 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Cheers guys. I'm all for a lefthanded wank but that doesn't usually involve a finger slipping up your bum unless you're feeling extra adventurous.

Author:	Bobbyaro [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 17:21 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
it is though.

Author:	Bamba [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 17:31 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Cras wrote: Saturnalian wrote: If it helps Bamba, I say "fuck sticks" too. I also, but as 'fucksticks'. Not sure why that's important. It's important because it's the difference between an actual thing (a 'fuckstick') and an action (fucking some sticks) because I think of it as the single word as well and I'm not sure why I typed it out as two words in the first place. Further emo nonsense: not-Mrs B is perfectly happy to remain friends so now I need to work out whether I can do that (hmmmmm) and, if not, make sure that I do cut contact rather than falling in to the obvious trap of waiting for her to be ready for something more while pretending I'm totally not doing that (as the issue genuinely is that she's not ready for a relationship rather than because things aren't actually quite good between us). I do so want to avoid the obvious fucking cliche trap here, while also not throwing a nice friendship under the bus if that level of drastic reaction isn't required. Fucksticks.

Author:	Kern [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 17:53 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Sorry to hear that Bamba.

Author:	flis [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 18:29 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Bamba wrote: Further emo nonsense: not-Mrs B is perfectly happy to remain friends so now I need to work out whether I can do that (hmmmmm) and, if not, make sure that I do cut contact rather than falling in to the obvious trap of waiting for her to be ready for something more while pretending I'm totally not doing that (as the issue genuinely is that she's not ready for a relationship rather than because things aren't actually quite good between us). I do so want to avoid the obvious fucking cliche trap here, while also not throwing a nice friendship under the bus if that level of drastic reaction isn't required. Fucksticks. That sucks, and is a situation I don't envy. A couple of things I will say (that you should not take as anything other than my opinion, I'm just putting it out there for consideration even though you didn't ask and probably don't want it... But fuck it ): I believe she means that she isn't ready for a relationship but she'll probably only realise she is ready when the right person comes along. If you stay friends with her, and actively pursue friendship, you risk being around to watch her move on with someone else. If you take a step back, tell her you'd like her to keep in touch and to let you know if she's ever in your neck of the woods, you put the ball in her court. That way, if she realises she would like a relationship with you, she'll get in touch. If she doesn't, both of you avoid any awkwardness and you don't fall into the trap of wondering whether and when would be a good time to email her or otherwise get in touch when you don't have much to say and you just want to speak to her. I know a faint heart never won a fair maiden and all that but if you've been close, she will definitely get back in touch with you if she wants more.

Author:	asfish [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 19:01 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
flis wrote: Bamba wrote: Further emo nonsense: not-Mrs B is perfectly happy to remain friends so now I need to work out whether I can do that (hmmmmm) and, if not, make sure that I do cut contact rather than falling in to the obvious trap of waiting for her to be ready for something more while pretending I'm totally not doing that (as the issue genuinely is that she's not ready for a relationship rather than because things aren't actually quite good between us). I do so want to avoid the obvious fucking cliche trap here, while also not throwing a nice friendship under the bus if that level of drastic reaction isn't required. Fucksticks. That sucks, and is a situation I don't envy. A couple of things I will say (that you should not take as anything other than my opinion, I'm just putting it out there for consideration even though you didn't ask and probably don't want it... But fuck it ): I believe she means that she isn't ready for a relationship but she'll probably only realise she is ready when the right person comes along. If you stay friends with her, and actively pursue friendship, you risk being around to watch her move on with someone else. If you take a step back, tell her you'd like her to keep in touch and to let you know if she's ever in your neck of the woods, you put the ball in her court. That way, if she realises she would like a relationship with you, she'll get in touch. If she doesn't, both of you avoid any awkwardness and you don't fall into the trap of wondering whether and when would be a good time to email her or otherwise get in touch when you don't have much to say and you just want to speak to her. I know a faint heart never won a fair maiden and all that but if you've been close, she will definitely get back in touch with you if she wants more. That is really well put and very good advice.

Author:	Bamba [ Mon Dec 08, 2014 21:05 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
flis wrote: Bamba wrote: Further emo nonsense: not-Mrs B is perfectly happy to remain friends so now I need to work out whether I can do that (hmmmmm) and, if not, make sure that I do cut contact rather than falling in to the obvious trap of waiting for her to be ready for something more while pretending I'm totally not doing that (as the issue genuinely is that she's not ready for a relationship rather than because things aren't actually quite good between us). I do so want to avoid the obvious fucking cliche trap here, while also not throwing a nice friendship under the bus if that level of drastic reaction isn't required. Fucksticks. That sucks, and is a situation I don't envy. A couple of things I will say (that you should not take as anything other than my opinion, I'm just putting it out there for consideration even though you didn't ask and probably don't want it... But fuck it ): I believe she means that she isn't ready for a relationship but she'll probably only realise she is ready when the right person comes along. If you stay friends with her, and actively pursue friendship, you risk being around to watch her move on with someone else. If you take a step back, tell her you'd like her to keep in touch and to let you know if she's ever in your neck of the woods, you put the ball in her court. That way, if she realises she would like a relationship with you, she'll get in touch. If she doesn't, both of you avoid any awkwardness and you don't fall into the trap of wondering whether and when would be a good time to email her or otherwise get in touch when you don't have much to say and you just want to speak to her. I know a faint heart never won a fair maiden and all that but if you've been close, she will definitely get back in touch with you if she wants more. Don't apologise for posting, I'm totally happy for input and God knows I've waffled enough at you unbidden about your situation. On this specific occasion her 'I'm not ready for a relationship' can possibly be taken more at face value than usual. It comes down to the fact she had relatively serious mental health issues as fallout from her divorce (and other problems) a few years back and has only (relatively) recently got her life and mental health back to a place she's content with again. She was clear about that from the start and has apparently carefully put the message out within all her social groups that she's just not interested in a relationship as she's still enjoying being happy again and doesn't want to risk her own well being by getting into anything else. So I do genuinely believe that it's more a timing thing than about her not liking me enough basically (though that could just be ego talking I realise). I think you're totally right though that there's a horrible risk of being around whenever she does move on and seeing it be with someone else. If only because there's a geographical distance here (Glasgow to Manchester) so if she ever does feel ready for something there's potential partners right in front of her while I'd be 'out of sight, out of mind' to a degree. Anyway, I emailed her earlier to say that we certainly couldn't carry on a friendship at the level we had been because that was a recipe for me getting utterly hung up on her and that's no use to anyone. I suggested we drop it down to just 'Facebook friends' as that keep a bit of contact ticking over while giving me the distance I need right now. Neither of us post massively on Facebook so I'm not too worried about it being a vector for over-attachment and I've even muted her there for the moment while I get my head straight. I pointed out this leaves the door open a crack should we feel that we're back on an even keel at some point in the future and a more genuine friendship can be had. So if she does ever feel she's ready for something it's an easy way to feel things out with me and, similarly, if I feel I wouldn't be risking emotional fallout in the future by being more involved then it's a possibility. For the moment that seems like a reasonable compromise and I don't know there's much else I can do.

Author:	myp [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 17:19 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Zio Mk2

Author:	Trooper [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 19:48 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
What is it with Beexers and hand twatting at the moment? Get well soon dude!

Author:	sdg [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 20:50 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Ouch Ramsea, hope you're ok x

Author:	Curiosity [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 23:31 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Apparently with the other hand it's more like someone else is doing it, but to be fair with arse wrong that might just seem creepy.

Author:	MaliA [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 23:34 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Ouch. Heal up soon!

Author:	Zardoz [ Thu Dec 18, 2014 0:36 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Is that what caused the accident?

Author:	Ramsea [ Thu Dec 18, 2014 0:48 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Sorry to disappoint but there were no purple helmets involved mate.

Author:	Grim... [ Thu Dec 18, 2014 15:54 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
How come you dropped it? Slippy bit on the road?

Author:	Ramsea [ Thu Dec 18, 2014 22:34 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
It was pissy wet, tyres needed replacing (new ones in shed ready to swap) and the main reason, I lost concentration. The junction snuck up on me and I had to brake hard. Once I lost it, it was pretty much game over. I can't actually remember much of it other than sliding along the road and wondering how's my bike.

Author:	Sir Taxalot [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:08 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Lend car to father in law. NEK MINNIT

Author:	markg [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:09 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Ha ha, oh dear. What was there first the water or the car?

Author:	Sir Taxalot [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:16 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Poor car

Author:	Trooper [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:25 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
He could have totally got through there. No initial commitment was his problem.

Author:	Dr Zoidberg [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 12:44 ]
Post subject:	Re: The 'NAY!' Thread
Just stuck in the mud I hope, rather than "engine swallowed the mud"