Be Excellent To Each Other

Don't utter that phrase. I'm reasonably sure it summons Tony Blair.

Also, I hope you're right.

I was going to create a Tony Blair account and use Riles avatar, but then I realised I was too lazy. Just pretend I did it and find it accordingly hilarious, thanks.

Nay!

Crikey Mr. TheVision, very shit. My condolences sir. I hope you and your other half are okay.

Just read page 3. Sorry to hear the news, TheVision.

Really sorry to hear that The Vision.

Oh The Vision, I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts to you and Mrs. The Vision.

Just read the last few pages, really sorry to hear what's going on in everyones life and TheVision I'm sending condolences to you and your wife.

Part of the software I wrote uses a Javascript and Flash-based video player. Another part uses a more recent version of the same thing.
I have spent an hour updating the part with the older version to the newer one.
I look on the vendor's website, and I see that in the hour I've been working on it there's an even newer version out.

Bah.

So sorry to hear that, The Vision. Hope you and the Mrs get back on your feet soon.

Started working on a new project (for me) today, which involves using our stuff on someone else's server. This started last year, but various things have meant it being delayed.
The guy that use to have my job set it all up, and when he left, said it was all working and I just had to build the main bit like I would normally. All our software, which is written to work on our servers (because no-one else is ever going to use it - er, until now) had been moved over, all the code updated and tested.
I take a quick look it at, and get the "Apache is running" page.

Turns out he lied, and the server is bare.

Fuck.

Terrible when you expect someone to do something and it never happens.

I do not understand what Grim... said but sorry dude, sounds sucky. Hope you get that sorted.

Back in my world, I cannae feel my feets! And now I have to walk to the other end of the site, which is *measures plan* 430m away, to see if I can find the2no. 400/160 45° junctions I bought, that have somehow and mysteriously been misplaced. Incompetent fools! This why I work in a heated office and they work outside, fucking belming morons.

If I can't find them, I would not want to be my site manager because he will feel my wrath, even if I find them as I really don't want to walk through compacted snow and ice for nothing. Cunts.

Ooo, er .... letter's just been put on our intranet informing staff of the formal consultation on our office network closure and risk of redundancy. We knew it was coming, but it makes it all seem a bit more real. Lucky for me they've already agreed to let me go on early retirement.

Do wimmins not protect their feets from the nasty cold brrr shiver with those horrid Ugg boot things?

Mostly, yes but not me, unless you can now buy steel toe and midsole, waterproof ones? I am wearing cheap, unlined wellies made for builders. I don't even have any lovely, fleece-lined rigger boots as I've used this years boot allowance :-(

You used the whole year's boots allowance on cheap wellies? How many did you buy?!

I quite like Ugg boots. I'm far happier for the wife to be wearing sensible padded flat-soled boots rather than any of the other options - because it minimises the possible avenues of complaint or slow movement.

Fluffy boots are my favourites.

Ugg boots are fucking ugly, and make women look like they have cankles, no matter how slim their legs.

I just don't get why women wear them. They look rubbish.

Also, wimmins' feet seem to slide off the edge of the sole, and basically use part of the side wall as the base, after a certain amount of wear, as far as I can tell, making them look like tramps. Tramps with fat legs and no fashion sense. So they're not even that well designed, or "practical". Get back to the high heels FFS.

I really don't care much what womens' feet look like. I care if they're moaning that their feet hurt, or I should walk slower.

Pervert.

Aww man. On my way home today, I saw a Merc driver struggling. But people were pushing, so I ignored it. Walked on a bit, and I saw the same Merc having issues travelling along the sludgy road. This time only one person was pushing. I lent a hand, and sent it on its way. Yay, right?

Well, I walked on for a bit, and chatted with my fellow pusher. He seemed all right. Then we saw three Asian youths throwing snowballs at moving cars. The fellow I was now walking with started shouting at them about how dangerous that was. As there were three of them and one of him, I stood with him. He was ranting a bit, and I was wondering if he was a bit of a loon. Then he called them 'paki bastards', at which point I rushed off and left him to it. I should have smacked all four of them, in hindsight.

Then I get home, and there is a gang of student dickeads, just lurking outside, throwing snowballs at cars and people. Fucking hate snowballs. (By all means do it if all parties consent, but otherwise it's akin to me kicking someone simply because I have legs.) If there were two, or even three, of them, I'd have kicked off, but there were rather more, and even I am not that brimming with hubris.

Apparently we are having four times the normal amount of 999 calls in this area due to snowballing incidents.

Well I suppose if there's no hot meals being delivered...

Took me a second there.

But

Had Gastroenteritis since the early hours of this morning, the crapping seems to have stopped now, but I've just thrown up all over the bathroom. I have sick in my hair and between my toes, I an obviously dehydrated and daren't walk downstairs to get a drink as I feel so unsteady. Joans is in town waiting for the AA as his car won't start. Will somebody come and look after me please?

/feeling sorry for self

Paging Kovacs...

Poor GJ

Take very small sips of water anyway. If you gulp it down it just comes back. Hope you get better soon...

Blimey GJ, get better soon eh?

Nothing to do with me.

*holds hands in the air and backs away*

I'm sure your wife will support you.

Wife was supposed to have her eyes lazorred today, but apparently her eyes have changed too much over the last few years, so they wouldn't do it. Come back in a year. Quite why they couldn't have told us this a month ago in the consultation where they said it was all systems go, I have no idea. Really annoying, as she was completely psyched up for having it done.

Unexpected DP.

One per eye?

Also:

I've seen that video.

Your life isn't complete until you've starred in one of those videos!

Surely you can't get an unexpected DavPaz, you can see his head coming for miles

I like cock.

2010 has been a fucking shit year and can fuck off.

Not that I expect 2011 to magically make things better.

11am on Christmas eve, and one of our datacentres in the far east floods, forcing an entire site failover. And I'm in the office. FFS.

I've had to drag myself in to the office today, on Christmas Eve, for a mere 4 hours. 4 HOURS! They're letting us go at 1pm. What was the point in that?

Ha! That was exactly what my company was going to do, until an IDIOT in said in the management meeting "People will probably think it isn't worth coming in for that short a time."
So now I'm here until 4pm.

Most of that should be automated, no?

I hope you throttled him up against a wall bellended his mobile gave him a hard time for that.

Yes. Dealing with what happens when you realised that approximately 60% of the automation fails is the main issue. Also bloody Exchange.

Her. And yes.
However, it's both of the 'big' bosses, me, and three other people in the office today.
Surely they're going to tell us to fuck off soon.

First xmas without mum this year, will be difficult to say the least!

Yep, there we go. 3 DCs in that country, two in the primary site and one in the DR site. Two of those are the primary and secondary bridgeheads to Exchange - guess which two?

Morons.

Sorry to hear that, man. My dad died just before Christmas a number of years back, and it's damned difficult to get in the festive spirit.