Be Excellent To Each Other

I'm going back to London next week and will have a few days to spare to do some 'nice' things.

I have a few favourite places that I like to visit once in a while:

London Zoo
V&A
London Aquarium
Tate Modern
Natural History Museum
Science Museum

I will probably go to at least one of these, soon, but they are more or less the only places I know where I would feel comfortable going to alone. See, I would love, love, love to spend some time just lazing in the sun in a park, but someone always comes over and bothers me, and won't leave me alone when I ask to be left alone and I end up having to leave and sometimes feel quite upset. So, parks are more or less out of the question. The Zoo is great, if a little smelly) on a nice warm day, and indoor places like museums and galleries are lovely cool retreats when the weather gets hot.

I do like silly touristy things like teh London Dungeons, but they are not really places to go to alone as I always get pulled out of the audience to be made fun of (dancing naked around fires, condemned as a witch, etc...) which is fun when you are with friends, but would be mortifying alone.

I am just looking for somewhere new to go for the day, take a few snaps, not feel intimidated and it be easy enough for me to get to on the tube. If anyone can think of anything I'd be most grateful.

Oh, and they must admit monkeys, of course! (or have guards slack enough to miss the fact that he is in my handbag )

Hire me as a bodyguard.

I hear he works for underpants.

Because I am a deeply sad man, I always pay a visit to Forbidden Planet near Tottenham Court Road when in London. Yes, it is a shop. But they sell many nice things.

They make people dance naked around fires at the Lundon Dungeon? I should get around to going...

The observatory and new planetarium in Greenwich is rather nice, though be warned, it is within close proximity to a park (though it is a lovely, lovely park and I'm sure the residents of Greenwich would forego bothering you).

I'm told the Design Museum is a good day out, though this was told to me by our CEO*, as we now sponsor it.

Wandering around the City with a camera is fun if you don't often go in to the Square Mile. There are hundreds of awesome little churches, ruins, buildings to take pictures of**. Before I broke every camera in a three kilometre radius of my body, I used to go a-wandering at lunchtimes now and then, and have found sufficiently interesting things to keep me occupied for the past few years.

Not sure what else is awesome though. As a resident I always forget to do the cool things.






*not personally. He told everyone, via a microphone. I'm not important...

**I can give tips if you decide to do this

Are you incredibly attractive meems? Sounds like you're always being hassled by us filthy men types.

FTFY.

Shuttup! My plan to be able to hang around Mimi whilst she sunbathes in a aprk has come undone thanks to you!


<curses>

Do you sunbathe topless?

No, people kept staring.

Go and see a debate at the House Of Commons. Often a queue longer than Alton Towers to get in, but something it is worth experiencing once.

Think I ended up queueing for over 2 hours and stayed for about 20 minutes.

The queue for the Lords has always been far shorter in my experience. And there's more to look at in that chamber.

Childish glee-FTFY.

Go on a cruise.

Walk along the embankments

Go to Camden

Do the London Eye

See if you can break the record for visiting every single stop on the london underground

Some other stuff...

Malc

If you're going to be around after 7pm, go to the bar in Shunt! in London Bridge station. It costs £5 to get in, but you have to walk through the old bomb shelters and underground network to get there (they give you a torch and tell you to follow the white line and watch out for puddles), and it's a properly 'hidden' London experience.

that sounds aces!

almost (but not quite) enough to make me want to go to london.

Going to the Future Entertainment Show in 93 and 94 was enough of the London experience that I want. I had the misfortune to have to go to Olympia for the BETT show 2 years ago and it was proper hellish driving to Cockfosters and catching the Tube. *shudders*

That's Brighton you are thinking of.

Is that the one through the surprisingly normal looking door, between the tube entrance and the train entrance? I keep on meaning to go in there...

Depending on when it is, surely some of the London BE-EXers are around, which would solve much alone.

Yes, an unmarked door. You wouldn't know it was there unless you knew (if you see what I mean).
Inside (once you've found the place) is fucking surreal. There's a big boat, some house roofs with tv aerials, chairs on the ceiling, etc... They'll be a show or two on (they're primarily a theatre group), and probably a band.

I'm tempted to organise a Bezzie Bearded Mates night out, actually...

Aye, I've not been in there, but have seen the door left ajar a few times, with a welcoming (and slightly unnerving at the same time) bright red light emanating from it.

We should totally have a bearded* drink night there.



*beards optional

I'm down in London on the 30th for some form of job assessment thingymadoodah.

Thanks, guys. There are some good ideas, there!

I don't often go in the square mile because
a) I don't really know where it is
b) If it involves being near Oxford/Regent Street then I will most probably have a nosebleed. I love to shop, but if the square mile is what I think of as central London then I avoid it at all costs (though I love Liberty's, what a lovely jewel in an inkstain.)

The design museum is a place I have only heard of in passing, but never really known where it is, I will look it up in a moment as Craig happened to have a print delivered from there today, by coincidence.

I think I may have been to Forbidden Planet a few times before with a friend of mine. If it is full of comic books and little figurines in glass cabinets then it is the place I am thinking of. Also, a little shop that sold loads of retro kitsch - a tomato phone, an Elvis Presley lunch box and some Marylin monroe coasters all made their way home from wherever that was...

I have been bothered by bothersome guys since I was about 15/16, but always in the same places: parks, buses and trains. I don't think that it is just me that attracts people that don't get the message, but they are the places where you are most likely to be just sitting, minding your own business when you are alone. Bus drivers often try to give me their number, and persistent train passengers try once in a while, too, but in the summer time the sun goes to people's heads and I think some guys just think that the summer time equals time to chat up random (not even topless...) women. I don't mind, but when you says, no, you just want to read your book, and then they still don't leave, so you get up and they follow it can be a bit intimidating.

I always think 'well, I am older now, they won't do it this year', but I think there are some guys that would try if you were 15 or 50.

Camden, I do not much like. I used to, when I was younger, but it just seems to trade off the idea of 'we have a reputation for being full of drugs', which is boring. yes, that alice band has a picture of a ganja leaf on it, how novel. Oh, Adihash, how humorous... I have never yet 'done' the London Eye, but mostly because I am a bit 'funny' with heights, but everyone assures me that it is very gentle and doesn't move fast so you don't notice that you are rising too much, so I may yet get up the courage.

I have not yet been to the houses of parliament, so that's a great idea, though I wonder if Monkey would be allowed...

I have not ever heard of Shunt, it sounds great, though not really a 'Mimi alone in London' type of experience, but I may try and get some friends to come down thee one evening.

Totally in, this sounds fab.

I will start a new thread shortly.

I shall never have a beard.

I do, however, have a fake moustache made of felt, exactly the same as this:


Would that count?

No, the Square Mile is the City - bounded roughly by the River to the South, Holborn to the west, Angel to the North and Liverpool Street to the East. It's got some of the best architecture in London, but is fairly devoid of tourist sites, other than St Paul's Cathedral and the Museum of London.

HAHAHA, that photo is awesome.

Oooh, no. Not there.

I don't know what the exact boundaries of the 'City' are, but it's roughly the area that falls between

South - The river
East - Tower Bridge
West - St Paul's
North - Liverpool Street

It has fun buildings (Lloyd's of London, The Gherkin, St Paul's Cathedral, The Monument (sadly currently unavailable as being renovated)), unusual things (St Dunstan's - the ruins of a little church destroyed in the Blitz - link to pic of a window, also plenty of strange little places to potter around) and Spitalfields Market is nice to have a little wander around (though dear Lord, don't go at lunchtime if you don't like crowds!).

Plus it's just a short walk from the South Bank, which houses all manner of lovely things, such as the Tate Modern, Shakespeare's Globe Theatre etc.

Less of a thing to do than a thing to see, but I enjoyed cycling out to the Thames Barrier. I think they have a visitor centre for it with info, but I went on a Sunday and just marvelled at the really rather awesome sight.

Mmmm, London-y goodness.

That reminds me! I'm in London on Monday. Working, but home-time is 5.30. Just mentioning it, like.

I greatly enjoyed the London Eye (my pics). Rather expensive but very much worth doing once I feel. And yes, it's very gentle and slow moving -- just look at it once from afar and you should realise how slow it is. Also, the pods are very big (remember the Audi ad where they parked a car in each one, with room to move around it?) and very solid; its about as vertigo friendly as such a thing can be.

What is it with blokes, seriously? This kind of thing baffles me and you only get it from men - those that think merely persisting and being really obnoxious and annoying is the ultimate way to attract women. Do they really think that when the person has walked off, following them will work? Jesus.

Reminds me of when the gf went to Egypt - her reports really sickened me. Random men coming up to her in shops, telling her she was 'beautiful', constantly, in a really slimey letcherous way that made me furious to hear it. A couple of them even proposed marriage on the spot, apparently, and started talking about how many camels he had. What the hell is it with these people? Apparently the only defense is to tell them you're already married, which seems to make them fuck off.

You don't get it as a bloke, that much is certain.

Now Boris is in charge they are hopefully going to turn it up to a decent speed. Like something from Alton Towers.

Do you not? I do

Having women wanting to rub your belly for luck doesn't count, old boy.

That's just you, CG. I get hassled by women *all* the time.

Actually I seem to attract MILF-types, having had 2 completely separate stalker type MILFs in the space of 6 months a few years back. Getting woken up by a MILF who's been at a club drinking and found my house from my work records (she worked in our HR department) for some "fun" can't really be complained at

I used to, in Manchester. Mind you, I did have bleached blonde hair and wore tight fitting clothes...

Um - what did SheWolf say?
[edit]To Sheppeh, obv - although Curiosity can try to answer if he wants.

Dunno... last time I met her was years ago.

If she was hot and drunk and up for it then hoorah, but that's an otherwise terrifying tale, sir.

We hadn't met each other at that point, we've been together 2 years and this was maybe 2.5 to 3 years ago.

We had played WoW together (we met on an unrelated forum) and she tells me now she wanted to, and I quote "Go round there and smash her face in"!

So really I had 3 stalkers

Yes, yes and yes, but still terrifying for a 20 year old who never got a so much as a sniff while at school, to wake up and find himself starring in his own cliche porn movie script!

I did wonder who was paying her. And then I thought "meh, what the fuck"

Wait wait, I didn't take into account the fact I'm horrifyingly ugly - that's probably why.

We should go to London soon, and hassle hot wimmins together. First one to get 10 phone numbers wins Grim...

The City is quite nice to walk around, if you've a spare afternoon. Plenty of quiet little streets with crazy names ( Cripplegate is my favourite ), oldy-worldy stuff, old churches, and odd little museums ( College of Heralds, Dr Johnsons House, Bank of England Museum, stuff like that ). It does get busy at rush hours and lunch time ( when a billion office workers stomp out to Pret ).

The British Library (museum-y), and Somerset House* (Sentimental value-y). Also, there are fountains, the courtyard is free, and unless it's become hideously popular over the last year, it's got loads of room for you and your company to simply lounge about reading a book, flirting and drying in the sun after running through the fountains. It's a little oasis. And there are some artsy things inside as well, and a convenient plummeting death area for anyone who pansies out of running around in the fountains.

If you do go, kindly keep up a tradition of mine and gaze wistfully over the whole courtyard before you leave, lingering for a moment on the columns on the near left side. Ta.

Also Samuel Johnson's house, which is somewhere near St Paul's Cathedral (which itself is a great place to sit down in splendour and relative calm, and not be bothered by anyone), because he wrote my favourite book in all six universes and it was closed the last time I went.

It's probably rubbish, but you have to go anyway or I'll sulk.

*http://www.somersethouse.org.uk/about_somerset_house/

In winter they make it an ice rink too. If I hadn't moved away from London and spent all my money, I'd have gone there just for that. Oh, the sentiments! I value them so!

I can highly recommend a trip to The Globe, but allow about 3 hours for the show. I was surprised at how long it was actually because I stood for all of it and it hadn't felt anywhere near that long, very enjoyable.

I've been to a fair few shows at London and they're always impressive. Wicked especially so.

Other than that I'd recommend taking in all the free museums you possibly can, and if you can spare the cash try the Tower of London.

I used to go to watch shows when I was younger but having fallen out of favour with the theatre in all it's incarnations recently, I feel quite critical of most things I watch nowadays.

I have been to the Tower of London a few times, it's a great day out - I love it there and anything like it - I enjoy the history and architecture, but, for reasons I can't explain, it's one of those places I have been to before.

The Globe is a little gem but it is somewhere I have been to a few times in the past (I have both performed and watched a show there).

I suppose I love museums and galleries the most for single wanderings. As I said before, my most visited are the Tate Modern, V&A and the Science and Natural History museums. I wish there was a complete list of all the free museums and galleries and their accompanying tube stations published somewhere, I'd go to them all.

http://www.londontourist.org/museums.html

http://www.londontourist.org/art.html

Not complete, but better than a kick in the head.