Be Excellent To Each Other

Russell woke me up at 3am asking if we could get a pot or container to save some air in , which we could keep alongside darwin's clothes that he is now to big for, or to put in his toy chest. He had been looking at the supermarket, but couldn't find the right kind of container to hold some air, and thought I'd now better what to look for.

I said I'd look on Amazon, which seemed to please him enough for him to let me go back to sleep. The bozo.

I am in a hotel in Solihull. I have two courses to run today. I had a dream that I'd woken up and gone to meet some local friends, a man, his wife and their teenage daughter, for an evening drink, but when I got there it was daylight and they all looked like they were suffering from terrible hangovers. When they saw me, the man muttered something to his wife, which looked like they weren't pleased to see me, and when I started to talk to him he keeled over in a dead faint.

It was at that point that I realised that I had nothing on my feet AND that it was 1.45pm, in which case I had overslept, missed my morning training session altogether and was 45 minutes late for the second one.

I set off hurriedly, back to the hotel, wondering why no one had rung to ask where I was, and as I passed a multi-story car park, noticed that there were Syrian migrants living under the ramps.

Then I woke, and it was only 6.30.

Had a very strange dream last night.

I dreamed that I was lying in bed (in exactly the same position I sleep in) but I could not sleep. Instead I kept getting two lines from Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees going over and over in my head. So it was -

He used to do surgery
For girls in the eighties
But gravity always wins

Or

But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run


In the dream I kept fidgeting and wanting to get up and just listen to the song so I could satisfy my craving and indulge in the lyrics. But for some odd reason I chose not to and just laid there with those two lines going over and over in my head.

Then things got a bit weird. I decided to leave the flat and go to the beach, but it wasn't our flat and it wasn't the beach we live on. When I returned I realised some one had been in our flat, then I woke up.

Obviously the first thing I did was go on Youtube and listen to Fake plastic trees a couple of times. Seems to have done the trick.

I always thought the line was "I can't help this feeling, I got blow from the CIA, I guessed that I should run"

Had a dream where Riles was plotting to kill a prostitute with a poisoned veggie sausage in order to frame a business rival who had set up a big and tall menswear shop to compete with his own

Awesome. Did he succeed?

That's no dream.

I kept forgetting the plan so probably not.

Markg featured heavily last night. Firstly at Ramp City skate park where everything had changed to be impossibly steep but didn't stop everyone else using it, then a short floaty skate across really broken tarmac to an outdoor shallow bowl for some carving around. We stopped for a break and Mark told me how chuffed he was at getting parts for his Mazda 6 at a scrap yard for £5 including two alloy wheels. "They're bigger than the ones I've got." "Oh, are you putting them on the back then?" "No, the front".

Had an odd one last night. I was at some kind of outdoor Secret Cinema thing where at key points in the film live actors would re-enact scenes and involve the audience. I was getting flack from the cast for not taking part or playing along. Odd, but true to life - few two-word phrases are more terror-inducing than 'audience participation'.

I was sitting on the couch in my living room and there were two brothers with me, both with curly blonde hair. There was some disagreement between them and they were almost at the point of not talking to each other.

Then, a third brother came in to the room, also with blonde curly hair, and he seemed to be the oldest of them. He was quite cheerful and ignored the obviously frosty atmosphere and began talking about some kind of medical investigation into a condition that they all had. One of the others was saying that he thought it was a waste of time and that bringing in a specialist from Texas probably wouldn't reveal anything, and he didn't want to be involved.

Then I woke up, having overslept by 30 mins. Coincidentally, I have three nephews who are brothers, but they don't have blonde curly hair, and one doesn't live in the UK.

Not that coincidentally, then.

I had the weirdest dream recently.

I was in some sort of film, and it was really weird, like some kind of violent car race, but played in a slightly slapstick and happy way with people whooping and hollering and having fun. Nobody was getting properly hurt or anything. Kind of like Mario Kart type violence I guess.

Anyway, after a while I realised this was a film that Grim... had told me about, and it changed quite dramatically.

Some people in the race arrived at a warehouse, all the main characters, and then it went into slo-mo bullet time and there was an explosion and a ton of stuff flew across the warehouse, absolutely obliterating most of the main cast, including one who got pinned to a wall by being skewered by a huge pole.

From then on it was like a cross between Dragon's Lair (set pieces with potentially fatal endings) and those YouTube videos of first person violent action films, like that one coming out with Sharlto Copley. Everyone was dying around me, but other than the first deaths it was still fairly light hearted, and those dying came back to life. I even died a few times, which hurt a bit, but I did better the other times.

Very strange. The slo-mo turn of the camera to see massive barrels and concrete and detritus pulverising people to paste is still shockingly vivid in my mind though.

I'd watch the shit out of that!

For a long time I had the same type of dream in the week, more so If I had booze on the weekend.

Quite hard to describe as the details of them differ but the theme is the same

I find myself in an impossible situation, almost like I have an overflowing buck of water that I can't stop, or sometimes I have dream that things are coming into the room and I can't get away, with those I wake up freaked out.

Some years ago I would sometimes have a sort of sleep walking thing as well were I would sit up in bed but in a sleep walking state, my wife said once she touched my arm and asked me if I was Ok and I raised my hand to hit her but didn't

She also said once I did sleep walk but she told me to get back into bed and I did

Its been ages since there was any sleep walking stuff and I don't go out as much and exercise now so the not had a dream of this type I can remember for a while.

Also maybe 1-2 times a year I have a vivid dream that my wife has fucked off and left me and its always my fault, I wake up really sad Really odd as since my son has been born he is in them as well??!

Last night someone forced a car crash on me.I didn't play nice so they shot me in the head.

I woke up, thought 'huh, good job that old wives tale isn't true' and went back to sleep.

Someone else forced a car crash on me, then tried to stab me to death. Bit vague but I think I grabbed the blade before they could stab me, then I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep again after going for a big poo.

Wait, did I really poo? Did I really poo IN THE TOILET?!

I have a recurring dream where the details are different but the situation similar, too. For me it is always some incredible doom type thing falling from the sky in the distance, getting closer and closer. It has been lightning bolts, alien craft and meteors before now. In the lightning one every time a lightning bold hit the earth, everyone who was touching the ground was instantly killed, so you had to jump to avoid being in contact with the ground as the bolt hit, whilst at the same time running away from the advancing clouds and their lightning. It was terrifying.

Russell used to talk and act out his dreams all the time when we first met, but about 6-8 months after we met they seemed to slow down and then stop. he did karate chop me in the throat a few weeks after we first met, though (in his sleep).

I think that the dreams about your wife (and child) are the brain's way of both playing out situations to show how you'd feel and cope in your worst situations, and also a subconscious prod to yourself not to mess things up. So your brain is warning you to be your best for your family, and reminding you why you really don't want to mess things up in real life, else you'll suffer the consequences and the same sadness that your dream has given you glimpses of. I think it's a totally natural and perhaps useful type of dream.

Just check your shoes before you put them on in the morning. I know someone who once wee'd in their wardrobe. I'm sure someone once told me that a drunk friend of their's wee'd all over their dad's video recorder. It may have been a friend of Russell's.

Yep. Dad was out of town for the night so had a forbidden party. Friend refused to sleep upstairs, passed out on the sofa and then pissed in the VCR overnight. Also the big Yucca plant.

I pissed in the kitchen bin once.

I've pissed on my chips.

Urgh, I had the worst dream of my entire life the other night. Basically I walked into the bathroom and our daughter was dead, lying face down in the bath having obviously drowned. It was so awful my first thought was "please let this just be a dream" and I remember a voice in my head saying "but you know it isn't", I reached in to pick her up and then, thank fuck, woke up. Just so relieved, it was all I could do to not run into her room at three in the morning and just scoop her up for a hug. Dreams are fucked sometimes.

I had a similar one a couple of weeks ago, it was the worst feeling I have ever had. Mine was a car crash, I was outside the car when it happened. I didn't see my boy dead, but the policeman checking the wreckage handed me his tiny hat, and I knew what had happened. Flip me, I'm crying buckets now, it really hurts remembering. It was so awful that, like you I think, my conscious reached in to my subconscious and made me hope it was a dream. He was still beside me in the co-sleeper at this point so I reached over and just lay holding his hand for ages. Still can't stop crying now.

I had a message on Facebook from an old mate from my primary school days asking of I wanted to catch up in the summer. This reminded me that he was a nightmare for this sort of thing after a night on the beer. His wife would not let him back in their house if he went out so he had to stay at various friends.

One of them found him taking a crap on his coffee table after a night out, when they asked him to stop he got really upset as if he was outraged at the suggestion, finished and went back to bed and didn't remember a thing the next day!

He has a nickname of sinky as he used to do a fair amount of sleep pissing in sinks as well!

We won't be sharing a room if I do go and meeting him

Nearly had a friend piss in my fireplace once whilst sleepwalking. I was pretty quick to stop him though.

My dreams are pretty damn special So special, I need to chase up my referral to a neurologist. In a nutshell, most nights I wake up with either sleep paralysis and/or vivid hallucinations, and am abducted by aliens. Derp.

Disclaimer: I don't actually believe I'm being abducted by aliens.

I used to get sleep paralysis all the time. Not sure why it stopped. My dreams are as weird and vivid as ever, but the moment I wake I forget all the details.

Last night I was learning to play the bass ukulele, but it was more like a cross between a ukulele and a crossbow. The bass wire had to be coiled around a coin-like dial at the back to 'cock' it, and the wire looked like a bike brake wire.

To help play and fire this bass ukulele, Trooper was my teacher, and he showed me how to pluck the brake wire.

Then it turned into a warzone and we were on trucks in a forest and bad guys fired down on us from the raised sides of this valley and one of the guys on the truck had his head shot off and he was just a torso standing there except a shotgun had been rammed barrel first down the neck hole.

I preferred the first bit of the dream if I'm honest.

Sure it wasn't your banjo string?

I had a dream last night that a kingfisher about .5cm long landed on my finger, and I was carrying it around on my finger all day because the RSPB guy said it needed protecting as it was too small, however I was upset because it was turning into a fish so made me feel like I wasn't looking after it very well

Last I dreamt that I was my mother-in-law, fucking my father-in-law. He had a beard (which he doesn't in real life) and a hospital-style oxygen mask on.

Sort that shit out, Freud.

Yeah, but tiny kingfishers.

I actually can't even imagine what it was like coming around from that dream, Grim...

Are the images burned in your retinas? How will you look either of them in the eye when you see them next? *shudder*.

Not a dream. You bummed Craster while wearing a twin set.
Again.

Amaze.

Have you told them about this dream?
If not, when are you going to?

I somehow missed the word "night" out of my post. I dreamt about it last night.

So I haven't told them, no. Probably won't, to be fair.

Best that you try and forget about it, only to stumble upon it in this thread when you re-read it in a few years and then shudder

And why not?

(and in a shock twist, one of them reads this forum)

Very weird dream last night, some 'scenes' very vivid but the flow was murky.
Big party at Caveys! While he wasn't there. He had a waterpark that we were doing relay races in on the various slides. Panic ensued when one of us heard Cavey was coming back! There was a Ferris Bueller issue with one of his prised Porsches that Grim... had been spinning around his estate. Also we had a body to hide. When he returned it went kinda Bond, he was some sort of baddy we gathered but obviously we didn't want to bring it up for fear of being shot or thrown to the sharks. I thanked him very much for inviting us (which he hadn't) and asked him if he wanted a drink. Then I woke up.

Right, settle in boys and girls, and pay particular attention if you're Cavey or Curio.

So last night I was in Grimsby, just hanging about on the street, when Cavey pulls up in his sports car on the opposite side of the road. It's red, and low-riding and fancy. He is wearing sunglasses, and leans across the passenger seat, and shouts through the rolled down window to ask if I want to go for a ride. I get in the car, and am amazed at the plush leather seats, and how I'm practically horizontal, such is the recline and comfort of the seat. We drive about for a bit, and Cavey is just driving normally, although the speedometer is reading around 120mph. At some point he shifts into right hand drive, and instead I am positioned in the rear-seats directly behind him. He tells me that it is very important that my knees are always touching the back of his seat, and he almost hits a bright green car that is turning across traffic without notice. We miss it and carry on, with no mention made.

Eventually we pull up at an office. It's an outfit that appears to be owned by my brother, and performs some sort of creative endeavour for clients, but my brother has scribbled the latest client brief down on the back of some receipts. I say how ridiculous this is, and ask Cavey "we can't work with this, can we?" Cavey replies "Well to be honest mate I'm a bit down on my luck, that's why I've come for an interview here, but don't tell anyone". I turn my attentions away to Curio who is sat on a sofa next to me, trying to open some television packaging. He pulls at the cardboard, and this provides the tension on the sellotape, and then I stab the pointy bit of a pen lid into it to break the tape. However, each time I stab the tape the lid slips and slams Curio in the hand, causing him to say ow. I feel sorry for him, and promptly wake up because Darwin is crying.

/*
After tending to Darwin I relate this dream to Mimi because it's hilarious, and then we go back to sleep.
*/

We are back in dreamland, and the dream has changed but Cavey's still in it. He's now living out of my car. I invite him up to our house to eat some chili, but the chili is cheap and the mince is all sticking together in lumps. We go downstairs and try to gather all the clothing that has been strewn around. It turns out that this is Cavey's laundry and every time you pick up one piece, another one drops. Eventually we gather it all up, and place it in a Tesco bag in my car. Cavey is knackered and slumps down half in and half out of the car. He takes a tub out of his pocket, flips the lid, and chugs one of the pills within. I take the tub off him and place it in the bag as well, making a mental note to look up what the medication is so I can see what ailment he is suffering from.

The pot was labelled Citric Acid.

I knew my hand hurt this morning...

Such detail

It was really quite vivid, although I've forgotten some of the stuff about the client brief and the receipts, so I vague-arised that.

Sorry, dude.

Hehe, yea, I had the first half of this related to me at about 3:30am, then the rest when we got up for work .

I hope dream Cavey is OK!

Well I don't know why you'd need to take Citric Acid, but it seemed to be helping him.

It is to counteract how sweet he is.

Not really. It stops his eyes from swivelling.

(It's a joke Cavey, don't get all sad again).

So, there are dreams which pretty much everyone has... Teeth falling out, flying, being late, having Cavey live in your basement and so on.

A friend of mine has been trying to persuade me that accidentally starting to masturbate in public is a dream that is very common. (as in, and I quotev "you're not a meeting and you notice everyone's staring at you. And then you realise your pants are down and you're having a walk." Or "you're talking to your Gran, and accidentally start rubbing one out")

He thinks everyone dreams about accidental wanking, I suspect he's trying to justify pornographic granny dreams. Is this really a thing and I'm sadly lacking in the full human dreaming experience? (no, I'm not going to Google for wanking dreams)

"having a walk"