Be Excellent To Each Other

Bear in mind the wrongness, above.

You're surely not suggesting The Jolie is *not* so on and so forth, Mr Kalmar?

WTF?? Angelina Jolie is a gorgeous, sexy hot woman. Apart from having an amazing body, beautiful face, kissable lips and piercing eyes she also seems to be totally wild in bed and more than a little bit kinky. She was made for me and I won't hear a bad word against her.

Fine, if you won't mind getting your eye poked out by her pointy shoulder, be my guest.

Personally, I'm a bit put off by the fact I could use any one of her limbs as a toothpick to remove any errant hairs afterwards. Assuming she has any, of course.

it was because of her i watched Lara Craft. Hmmm

I was going to make certificates saying that I'd adopted a chimp/rhino/tapir from some zoo somewhere and post them as Christmas presents to people.

That way, I look awesome, and it only costs some printer ink.

How about a Sinclair C5?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What did she make?

She would eat you alive!

She looked a lot better than, to be honest. I quite fancied her. But she's gotten more and more thin, and steals more and more babies. Hmmmm. Maybe the two are related?

Despite currently having some very pleasant thoughts about what that would entail, I can assure you that I could more than hold my own. She'd be all 'Brad who?' and I'd be all 'yeah baby!'

i loved the scene in Tombraider where she went walking through her mansion at night wearing the white pyjamas...mmmm. Oh and also Gia since she dances naked.

Doh

I used to love Angelina, but she too skinny and processed now. Back in the day, she was YES as fuck:


A decade ago. Feel so old.

She was well good in Wanted.

The pill-improved bust in Tomb Raider was the zenith. She looked utterly awful in Gone in 60 Seconds. Also, some other films.

oh yes. Cold shower for Kov.

Photoshoptastic!

Ooh, no - that hair? Filthy.

Er - not that she had filthy hair, although that could well have been the case. Just that with that hair she looked filthy. The good kind. Or something.

anyone watching Wounded.

She had dreadlocks, dude. The archetypal filthy hair. But not filthy hair, hair that was filthy. You know.

Well, quite - but the good filthy, not the tics filthy.

Wait - I meant ticks. Possibly. Unless she had some bad acid once, or something.

No no no - wrong way round. Dreadlocks = hygiene of a member of The Levellers.

you can have clean dreads. As hair cleans itself after so long

Hell yes. I would.

Isn't that a myth?

Bony Face. Bony Face!

That is Hippie Propaganda, or what is technically called An Excuse Made By Smelly Soap Dodgers.

Not in that picture though. She looks like she's just been in an accident and needs her face panel-beating back into shape.

no. just doesnt get any dirtier.

No it is true. Natural oils and all that.

You're not convincing me.

Fair enough. Was just saying

I don't even know why I'm trying to convince people to be honest. What about the less mental version, aka Shannyn Sossamon?

It gives you scary eyebrows

I suppose if I wanted to be eviscerated, death by hip bones during sex would be the way to do it.

Okay. She looks muuuuch less mental....

We're debating the boniness, not the mentals.

It's true. A science teacher told me. She was a hippy though. This was 1994.

She said it takes a year to do it properly though and you must still wash your hair, just not with shampoo.

I don't know why we've now introduced a much less attractive version of Natalie Imbruglia, to be honest.

I think I am just immune to hip bones. To be fair my other half is really quite slim. Not unhealthy looking despite that though and she is short so it doesn't look weird...but I think she wears a size 8 if she's lucky.

Eh, I don't really get this level of appearance-insult. I mean, not being attracted to someone; sure. I'm not attracted to plenty of people. But I dunno. That degree of diss just seems like protesting too much.

Maybe I'm old fashioned.

Yeah, i was looking for a picture to respond to Mr chris, but all I could find were these and even with all the air brushing she looks a bit weird in them. Still would though, obv.

I was referring to the fact that some may regard Angelina Jolie as a baby stealing crack-whore and Shannyn Sossamon is a bit less so. I think.

She's a hugely attractive woman, but that photo is a terrible photo. It's been taken from an angle which makes her look like she has an incredibly flat face, which in other photos demonstrably isn't true. Is the point.

It is entirely inconsistent with the Beex way of never, ever, exaggerating anything. Ever.

Never.

There is an awesome picture somewhere of just her face and a trail of blood...Angelina Jolie+vampire=hotness.

Oh, lots of people do it. I'm just too nice.

[edit at gill] This?

Back off dude - she's mine.



In reality I'm far less bothered by them than Mrs C, who complains about mine. I'll generally, IN REAL LIFE, not be distracted by almost any physical inconvenience provided I'm having sechsings at the time. Obviously in fantasy SlebSexLAnd, I'll be as picky as I damn well choose, and only be satisfied by a threesome with Gillian Anderson and that bird out of Starship Troopers that has been choreographed by the Russian Ballet.

That is NOT sexy.