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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:49 
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I must admit, I'm never 'freaked out' by people's sexual peccadilloes, antics, preferences or practices, of consenting adults at least, merely bemused/amused at worst, taking every available opportunity to make a childish, schoolboy, toilet-humour gag wherever possible as well, naturally. :D

Hey, some of this stuff would never even occur to me at all, let alone my actually giving it a go. But there again, that may well be due to my lack of imagination, inclination or just because I'm a boring bastard in the sack? Frankly, I think "just good old fashioned sex" is pretty damn good. :D

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:22 
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Honey Boo Boo

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Dimrill wrote:
Yeah, torrent sites have a "piss, puke, scat" section for a reason. Keeping Perkies busy.


Yuck! I'm not into any of that! :spew:


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:23 
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Skillmeister

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Just the prolapsing and fart sniffing.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:30 
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Paws for thought

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Dimrill wrote:
Just the prolapsing and fart sniffing.

Things I don't need to be reminded of: Perkies prolapsing squirt porn.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:36 
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Unpossible!

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Mr Dave wrote:
Dimrill wrote:
Just the prolapsing and fart sniffing.

Things I don't need to be reminded of: Perkies prolapsing squirt porn.

Image :?:


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:38 
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Skillmeister

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There was talk of some ungodly prolapse to gape docking.

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 Post subject: Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:31 
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flis wrote:
Warhead wrote:
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Mrs. W did want to try her hand at aiming Percy at the porcelain once, just out of curiosity.

Hands down the freakiest thing I've seen in this thread so far. POTW candidate purely for the WTF-factor when quoted out of context.

I didn't think it was all that freaky. I'm sure lots of females would like to have a go at that.


It's really not that freaky. I'm more freaked out by EBG than I am by anyone else in here...

I think it's more like a 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' type of thing. In this case, anyway, as it was just a one time thing. Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place. And we were only teenagers at the time.


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 Post subject: Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:32 
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Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

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 Post subject: Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:36 
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Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

I meant in terms of pointing Percy, not anything else, just in case you were under the impression that sexy times came to an end after that episode.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:37 
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Paws for thought

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Dimrill wrote:
There was talk of some ungodly prolapse to gape docking.

And some foolish person looked at the videos. Wasn't me though because I'm sensib.


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 Post subject: Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:40 
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Warhead wrote:
Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

I meant in terms of pointing Percy, not anything else, just in case you were under the impression that sexy times came to an end after that episode.


Mate, I'm talking about Curiosity the Beexer. :D

Still, if you have to explain a joke etc.... I'll fetch my coat.

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 Post subject: Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:49 
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Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

I meant in terms of pointing Percy, not anything else, just in case you were under the impression that sexy times came to an end after that episode.


Mate, I'm talking about Curiosity the Beexer. :D

Still, if you have to explain a joke etc.... I'll fetch my coat.

:belm:

Sorry, a bit slow on the uptake today.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:13 
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Honey Boo Boo

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"That's WATERSPORTS!" squealed Mrs Meaty, appalled at the thought of the lady aiming the man's parts into the toilet so he can pee.


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 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:25 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

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I'd do that, if only to let them find out for themselves that the direction you point it doesn't necessarily correlate with the direction the pee decides to come out.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:27 
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Skillmeister

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Especially post-coital.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:38 
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Honey Boo Boo

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The "pipe cleaner".


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 Post subject: Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:50 
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Sleepyhead

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Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o


:D

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 18:08 
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Malabelm wrote:
I'd do that, if only to let them find out for themselves that the direction you point it doesn't necessarily correlate with the direction the pee decides to come out.

:this:

And I don't know if I'd really class it as watersports as neither I nor she wanted me to widdle on her.

*looks up definition on Widdlepedia: Urolagnia (also urophilia, undinism, golden shower and watersports) is a paraphilia in which sexual excitement is associated with the sight or thought of urine or urination.*

Looks like it was after all, but like a lot of sports, we gave up on it very quickly.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 18:10 
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Hang on... teenagers? You must've been fretting about whether she'd douse your brothel creepers and loons then. Did you at least hold your kipper tie out of the way?

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
;P

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 18:14 
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Indeed. Nothing worse than soggy flares flapping about yer ankles. But brothel creepers were even before MY time. And I only wore the kippers for work.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 20:46 
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Milk and no sugar, thanks, Dimrill.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 20:47 
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Skillmeister

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That's your favourite joke ever, isn't it?

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2012 23:00 
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Honey Boo Boo

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All NSFW:

Talented

WHEN SUDDENLY!

Her off the BT adverts

Oh yeah, that's why he married her

Happy

HOORAY FOR GRADIENTS!

Wow

This is a good spot, let me get out my tackle

Mmmm... num nums


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:14 
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Hibernating Druid

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Dimrill wrote:
That's your favourite joke ever, isn't it?

It's in my top three.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:56 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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All very interesting images Angel. I wonder how you'd phrase the advert for a photoshoot asking for 10-15 women to lie naked in a circle.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:59 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
All very interesting images Angel. I wonder how you'd phrase the advert for a photoshoot asking for 10-15 women to lie naked in a circle.


Models required, money paid.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:38 
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Honey Boo Boo

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The palest one (also biggest tits) seems to have inverted nipples :luv:


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 16:48 
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Skillmeister

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Oh for... Cheggit's gone for good. Bloody heck and flip.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 18:57 

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metalangel wrote:


Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 19:00 

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metalangel wrote:
The palest one (also biggest tits) seems to have inverted nipples :luv:


Had a French girlfriend once with inverted nipples. When she stayed over, she'd get up before me and make a lovely breakfast.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 19:14 
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ugvm'er at heart...

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GovernmentYard wrote:
metalangel wrote:
The palest one (also biggest tits) seems to have inverted nipples :luv:


Had a French girlfriend once with inverted nipples. When she stayed over, she'd get up before me and make a lovely breakfast.


That is one hell of a euphemism.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 21:44 
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Two heads are better than one

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Dimrill wrote:
Oh for... Cheggit's gone for good. Bloody heck and flip.


Although Empornium has just reopened (under new management and nothing really there yet but it and Puretna closing was what moved me to Cheggit)


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 23:13 
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Skillmeister

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Has it? Hmm. I still get the IIS7 logo for them :S

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 23:16 
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Skillmeister

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Oh, they've changed to .me instead of .us. Sounds like someone's just hijacked the name then.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 0:13 
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Two heads are better than one

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Dimrill wrote:
Oh, they've changed to .me instead of .us. Sounds like someone's just hijacked the name then.


http://www.empornium.info/

And yes its probably someone who stole the name rather than the people who were doing it before but if it gets a lot of the posters / seeders from Cheggit then it could work


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 0:17 
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Skillmeister

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There's quite a few. after.cheggit is a new tag there.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:31 
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This thread has gone right down the tubes.

I want more revelations and opinions about members foibles, preferences, sexual disasters, etc.

It was getting quite interesting for a while, back there.


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:36 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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I once had an ex that wanted to be slapped around during sex. Is that any good to you?

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:37 
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Honey Boo Boo

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Here, have some porn:

NSFW Linky


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:39 
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ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
I once had an ex that wanted to be slapped around during sex. Is that any good to you?

What's her address.?


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:42 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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Actually if you're in the Manchester area, probably not far. She lived in Didsbury last time I checked.

This would be the same ex that asked for a threesome*. Yeah, she was weird.


* with another woman, obv.

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Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:43 
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Excellent Member

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ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Actually if you're in the Manchester area, probably not far. She lived in Didsbury last time I checked.

This would be the same ex that asked for a threesome*. Yeah, she was weird.


* with another woman, obv.


You lucky bastard.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:44 
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Honey Boo Boo

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Beginning to think you're weird, man. Turned down a threesome? Was the other woman minging or something?


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:49 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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She had a 'friend' who was amenable to fucking some random guy she'd never met. From what I came to understand the two of them would occasionally go at it alone when she was single, yet she also utterly refused to consider herself bisexual.

But actually while the concept of a threesome makes for a good porn plot, in the reality of life when you're looking for a meaningful monogamous relationship with someone, the notion of sharing them, or being shared, really doesn't appeal. Actually I found the whole concept pretty horrible.

My eventual conclusion is that the girl was a bit of a fucked up moron, so I happily broke it off.

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Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:51 
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Noob as of 6/8/10

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ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Actually if you're in the Manchester area, probably not far. She lived in Didsbury last time I checked.

Curently residing in Chorlton-cum-Hardy :hat: but I lived in Didsbury in my formative years.
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
.....

But actually while the concept of a threesome makes for a good porn plot, in the reality of life when you're looking for a meaningful monogamous relationship with someone, the notion of sharing them, or being shared, really doesn't appeal. Actually I found the whole concept pretty horrible.

:this:
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
My eventual conclusion is that the girl was a bit of a fucked up moron, so I happily broke it off.

Did you manage to reattach it?


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:52 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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Warhead wrote:
Did you manage to reattach it?

*snorts drink* :DD

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:31 
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Honey Boo Boo

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ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
My eventual conclusion is that the girl was a bit of a fucked up moron, so I happily broke it off.


"Awww hon, I know I freaked you out with that whole ménage a trois thing. I'm sorry. Hey, I know, I'll make it up to you. I'll let you do me up the arse!"


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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:37 
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Legendary Boogeyman

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She would have as well, the filthy bitch.

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 13:11 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

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You Sir and an unusual soul...

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 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 13:23 
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KovacsC wrote:
You Sir and an unusual soul...


Oh, I dunno about that. It's not that unusual to be seeking someone for a monogamous, long term relationship (a "nice girl" if you will)?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing *at all* against those who 'swing', have 'open' marriages, enjoy multiple sexual partners incl. at the same or whatever, but equally, I've nothing against those who just want a quiet marriage and a loyal wife either. It just boils down to what you, and your partner(s) want, as I said earlier.

Personally I would never share Mrs C with anyone and she feels the same way, so we're well suited, hence we've been together for 20 years and counting.

(Mind you, having said that, I do like her to put on all my leather biking gear, not to mention PVC and unfeasibly long-heeled, tall boots. In hotels. :hat: )

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