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The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4631
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Author:  Cavey [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 12:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

I must admit, I'm never 'freaked out' by people's sexual peccadilloes, antics, preferences or practices, of consenting adults at least, merely bemused/amused at worst, taking every available opportunity to make a childish, schoolboy, toilet-humour gag wherever possible as well, naturally. :D

Hey, some of this stuff would never even occur to me at all, let alone my actually giving it a go. But there again, that may well be due to my lack of imagination, inclination or just because I'm a boring bastard in the sack? Frankly, I think "just good old fashioned sex" is pretty damn good. :D

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:
Yeah, torrent sites have a "piss, puke, scat" section for a reason. Keeping Perkies busy.


Yuck! I'm not into any of that! :spew:

Author:  Dimrill [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Just the prolapsing and fart sniffing.

Author:  Mr Dave [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:
Just the prolapsing and fart sniffing.

Things I don't need to be reminded of: Perkies prolapsing squirt porn.

Author:  DavPaz [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Mr Dave wrote:
Dimrill wrote:
Just the prolapsing and fart sniffing.

Things I don't need to be reminded of: Perkies prolapsing squirt porn.

Image :?:

Author:  Dimrill [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 13:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

There was talk of some ungodly prolapse to gape docking.

Author:  Warhead [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

flis wrote:
Warhead wrote:
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Mrs. W did want to try her hand at aiming Percy at the porcelain once, just out of curiosity.

Hands down the freakiest thing I've seen in this thread so far. POTW candidate purely for the WTF-factor when quoted out of context.

I didn't think it was all that freaky. I'm sure lots of females would like to have a go at that.


It's really not that freaky. I'm more freaked out by EBG than I am by anyone else in here...

I think it's more like a 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours' type of thing. In this case, anyway, as it was just a one time thing. Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place. And we were only teenagers at the time.

Author:  Cavey [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

Author:  Warhead [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

I meant in terms of pointing Percy, not anything else, just in case you were under the impression that sexy times came to an end after that episode.

Author:  Mr Dave [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:
There was talk of some ungodly prolapse to gape docking.

And some foolish person looked at the videos. Wasn't me though because I'm sensib.

Author:  Cavey [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Warhead wrote:
Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

I meant in terms of pointing Percy, not anything else, just in case you were under the impression that sexy times came to an end after that episode.


Mate, I'm talking about Curiosity the Beexer. :D

Still, if you have to explain a joke etc.... I'll fetch my coat.

Author:  Warhead [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 14:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o

I meant in terms of pointing Percy, not anything else, just in case you were under the impression that sexy times came to an end after that episode.


Mate, I'm talking about Curiosity the Beexer. :D

Still, if you have to explain a joke etc.... I'll fetch my coat.

:belm:

Sorry, a bit slow on the uptake today.

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

"That's WATERSPORTS!" squealed Mrs Meaty, appalled at the thought of the lady aiming the man's parts into the toilet so he can pee.

Author:  Malabelm [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:25 ]
Post subject:  The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

I'd do that, if only to let them find out for themselves that the direction you point it doesn't necessarily correlate with the direction the pee decides to come out.

Author:  Dimrill [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Especially post-coital.

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

The "pipe cleaner".

Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 17:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Captain Caveman wrote:
Warhead wrote:
Curiosity was satisfied and no further exploration took place.


:o


:D

Author:  Warhead [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 18:08 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Malabelm wrote:
I'd do that, if only to let them find out for themselves that the direction you point it doesn't necessarily correlate with the direction the pee decides to come out.

:this:

And I don't know if I'd really class it as watersports as neither I nor she wanted me to widdle on her.

*looks up definition on Widdlepedia: Urolagnia (also urophilia, undinism, golden shower and watersports) is a paraphilia in which sexual excitement is associated with the sight or thought of urine or urination.*

Looks like it was after all, but like a lot of sports, we gave up on it very quickly.

Author:  Dimrill [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 18:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Hang on... teenagers? You must've been fretting about whether she'd douse your brothel creepers and loons then. Did you at least hold your kipper tie out of the way?

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
;P

Author:  Warhead [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 18:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Indeed. Nothing worse than soggy flares flapping about yer ankles. But brothel creepers were even before MY time. And I only wore the kippers for work.

Author:  Zardoz [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 20:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Milk and no sugar, thanks, Dimrill.

Author:  Dimrill [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 20:47 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

That's your favourite joke ever, isn't it?

Author:  metalangel [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 23:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

All NSFW:

Talented

WHEN SUDDENLY!

Her off the BT adverts

Oh yeah, that's why he married her

Happy

HOORAY FOR GRADIENTS!

Wow

This is a good spot, let me get out my tackle

Mmmm... num nums

Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:
That's your favourite joke ever, isn't it?

It's in my top three.

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

All very interesting images Angel. I wonder how you'd phrase the advert for a photoshoot asking for 10-15 women to lie naked in a circle.

Author:  Trooper [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 10:59 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
All very interesting images Angel. I wonder how you'd phrase the advert for a photoshoot asking for 10-15 women to lie naked in a circle.


Models required, money paid.

Author:  metalangel [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 12:38 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

The palest one (also biggest tits) seems to have inverted nipples :luv:

Author:  Dimrill [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 16:48 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Oh for... Cheggit's gone for good. Bloody heck and flip.

Author:  GovernmentYard [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 18:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

metalangel wrote:


Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would, Would.

Author:  GovernmentYard [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 19:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

metalangel wrote:
The palest one (also biggest tits) seems to have inverted nipples :luv:


Had a French girlfriend once with inverted nipples. When she stayed over, she'd get up before me and make a lovely breakfast.

Author:  Trooper [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 19:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

GovernmentYard wrote:
metalangel wrote:
The palest one (also biggest tits) seems to have inverted nipples :luv:


Had a French girlfriend once with inverted nipples. When she stayed over, she'd get up before me and make a lovely breakfast.


That is one hell of a euphemism.

Author:  zaphod79 [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 21:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:
Oh for... Cheggit's gone for good. Bloody heck and flip.


Although Empornium has just reopened (under new management and nothing really there yet but it and Puretna closing was what moved me to Cheggit)

Author:  Dimrill [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 23:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Has it? Hmm. I still get the IIS7 logo for them :S

Author:  Dimrill [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 23:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Oh, they've changed to .me instead of .us. Sounds like someone's just hijacked the name then.

Author:  zaphod79 [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 0:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Dimrill wrote:
Oh, they've changed to .me instead of .us. Sounds like someone's just hijacked the name then.


http://www.empornium.info/

And yes its probably someone who stole the name rather than the people who were doing it before but if it gets a lot of the posters / seeders from Cheggit then it could work

Author:  Dimrill [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 0:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

There's quite a few. after.cheggit is a new tag there.

Author:  Warhead [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

This thread has gone right down the tubes.

I want more revelations and opinions about members foibles, preferences, sexual disasters, etc.

It was getting quite interesting for a while, back there.

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

I once had an ex that wanted to be slapped around during sex. Is that any good to you?

Author:  metalangel [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Here, have some porn:

NSFW Linky

Author:  Warhead [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
I once had an ex that wanted to be slapped around during sex. Is that any good to you?

What's her address.?

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Actually if you're in the Manchester area, probably not far. She lived in Didsbury last time I checked.

This would be the same ex that asked for a threesome*. Yeah, she was weird.


* with another woman, obv.

Author:  flis [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Actually if you're in the Manchester area, probably not far. She lived in Didsbury last time I checked.

This would be the same ex that asked for a threesome*. Yeah, she was weird.


* with another woman, obv.


You lucky bastard.

Author:  metalangel [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Beginning to think you're weird, man. Turned down a threesome? Was the other woman minging or something?

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

She had a 'friend' who was amenable to fucking some random guy she'd never met. From what I came to understand the two of them would occasionally go at it alone when she was single, yet she also utterly refused to consider herself bisexual.

But actually while the concept of a threesome makes for a good porn plot, in the reality of life when you're looking for a meaningful monogamous relationship with someone, the notion of sharing them, or being shared, really doesn't appeal. Actually I found the whole concept pretty horrible.

My eventual conclusion is that the girl was a bit of a fucked up moron, so I happily broke it off.

Author:  Warhead [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Actually if you're in the Manchester area, probably not far. She lived in Didsbury last time I checked.

Curently residing in Chorlton-cum-Hardy :hat: but I lived in Didsbury in my formative years.
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
.....

But actually while the concept of a threesome makes for a good porn plot, in the reality of life when you're looking for a meaningful monogamous relationship with someone, the notion of sharing them, or being shared, really doesn't appeal. Actually I found the whole concept pretty horrible.

:this:
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
My eventual conclusion is that the girl was a bit of a fucked up moron, so I happily broke it off.

Did you manage to reattach it?

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

Warhead wrote:
Did you manage to reattach it?

*snorts drink* :DD

Author:  metalangel [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
My eventual conclusion is that the girl was a bit of a fucked up moron, so I happily broke it off.


"Awww hon, I know I freaked you out with that whole ménage a trois thing. I'm sorry. Hey, I know, I'll make it up to you. I'll let you do me up the arse!"

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 12:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

She would have as well, the filthy bitch.

Author:  KovacsC [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 13:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

You Sir and an unusual soul...

Author:  Cavey [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 13:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread

KovacsC wrote:
You Sir and an unusual soul...


Oh, I dunno about that. It's not that unusual to be seeking someone for a monogamous, long term relationship (a "nice girl" if you will)?

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing *at all* against those who 'swing', have 'open' marriages, enjoy multiple sexual partners incl. at the same or whatever, but equally, I've nothing against those who just want a quiet marriage and a loyal wife either. It just boils down to what you, and your partner(s) want, as I said earlier.

Personally I would never share Mrs C with anyone and she feels the same way, so we're well suited, hence we've been together for 20 years and counting.

(Mind you, having said that, I do like her to put on all my leather biking gear, not to mention PVC and unfeasibly long-heeled, tall boots. In hotels. :hat: )

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