metalangel wrote:
kalmar wrote:
Yeah. Still, now we're discussing grammar. That's not what I subscribed for!
Oh dear. Have some more porn.
Meri and her sexy little overbite (NSFW)
Oh bollocks, I accidentally just clicked on that.
| Be Excellent To Each Other https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/ |
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| The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=4631 |
Page 9 of 20 |
| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:51 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Craster wrote: If it helps, while discussing grammar I'm usually masturbating. Feex. |
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| Author: | metalangel [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:52 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
kalmar wrote: Yeah. Still, now we're discussing grammar. That's not what I subscribed for! Oh dear. Have some more porn. Meri and her sexy little overbite (NSFW) |
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| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:58 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
metalangel wrote: kalmar wrote: Yeah. Still, now we're discussing grammar. That's not what I subscribed for! Oh dear. Have some more porn. Meri and her sexy little overbite (NSFW) Oh bollocks, I accidentally just clicked on that.
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| Author: | kalmar [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 13:00 ] |
| Post subject: | The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
flis wrote: Craster wrote: If it helps, whilst discussing grammar I'm usually masturbating. Feex. |
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| Author: | Warhead [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:13 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Dimrill wrote: Surely the level of resistance offered by the aperture gives you a good idea of where things are going. You'd think so, wouldn't you, but I can say from personal experience that this is not the case. On one occasion, many years ago, I made this very mistake in the heat of the moment and it will haunt me forever. The future Mrs. W found it extremely painful, even though penetration was minimal and I was out of there in a fraction of a second as soon as she made me aware that something was not right. I'd never been interested in bumsex before this episode and it only convinced me that it was something to be avoided. Of course, I know that it appeals to some ladeeez as well as a lot of gents, but I'm not one of them. |
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| Author: | Mr Dave [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:21 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
I'm sure we've heard grim...s story before. I seem to remember chuckling. |
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| Author: | GovernmentYard [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:27 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Dimrill wrote: Surely the level of resistance offered by the aperture gives you a good idea of where things are going. Proper lubrication is obviously necessary and beyond that anything more than moderate resistance and one's partner is not relaxed enough and thus one needs to be better at making girls/boys horny. Once they know how to relax that sphincter, you can crack on. Push a bottle of poppers in their face and whisper something romantic in their ear, that often helps. Besides, anal needs to exist so that small knobbed men can know what vaginal intercourse feels like for the rest of us 
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| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:45 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
GovernmentYard wrote: Push a bottle of poppers in their face and whisper something romantic in their ear, that often helps. Besides, anal needs to exist so that small knobbed men can know what vaginal intercourse feels like for the rest of us Absolute gold. Please can you write the sex guide to accompany MaliA's dating guide? |
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| Author: | GovernmentYard [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:49 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
What could I put in a sex guide? All I know is if you're sexy enough, they'll pretty much demand whatever intimate courtesies lust emboldens them to favour. All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to slide off. |
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| Author: | DavPaz [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:51 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
GovernmentYard wrote: All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to ram it up her arse. FTFY |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:52 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
GovernmentYard wrote: All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to slide off. Are you reading a Welshmen's guide to sheep-lovin'? |
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| Author: | GovernmentYard [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 15:02 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
DavPaz wrote: GovernmentYard wrote: All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to ram it up her arse. FTFY Disagree. With the exception of my mum and ugly people, my whole life has been dedicated to quite the opposite of what you just said. I think the sense of esteem and satisfaction you get from bum-humping the missus probably equates to the satisfaction womens get from raising a child or something. Certainly in my experience I'd say the feeling is second only to bum-humping someone else's missus. |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 15:26 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Hmmm. I've got a date this evening and I reckon asking her how she feels about anal sex is probably as good a way of kicking off the conversation as any. |
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| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:41 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote: Hmmm. I've got a date this evening and I reckon asking her how she feels about anal sex is probably as good a way of kicking off the conversation as any. Do it and report back  What if she's a complete anal slut? What would you do then....? |
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| Author: | DavPaz [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:43 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
flis wrote: What if she's a complete anal slut? What would you do then....? Duh, anal. |
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| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:47 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
DavPaz wrote: flis wrote: What if she's a complete anal slut? What would you do then....? Duh, anal. He said it didn't remotely appeal to him, this is how the conversation re. bumming (sort of) started. I was wondering if he'd do it if she wanted it, or if he still wouldn't go near. |
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| Author: | DavPaz [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:48 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Oh, sorry, I thought you meant me. Carry on. |
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| Author: | Grim... [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:48 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Comical doesn't want to, though. |
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| Author: | Cras [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 17:06 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
And Grim...'s offered. |
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| Author: | Bamba [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 17:26 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Mr Dave wrote: I'm sure we've heard grim...s story before. I seem to remember chuckling. I genuinely thought I'd read it as well but a very thorough search reveals nothing. I'm mostly mentioning this just in case Grim has a look at the search logs one day and thinks I've got some kind of fetish for him. |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 18:46 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
I'll see if I can slip it in. The conversation. This is an interesting topic for debate. Assume the lady totally wants it up the tail pipe and can't imagine a long term relationship without a bit of that. You're not in the least bit interested, so is it a deal breaker? Tricky one. |
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| Author: | ApplePieOfDestiny [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 18:58 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Even if you didn't see the appeal, I think you'd give it a crack anyway. Given the opportunity of a woman dripping like a fucked fridge most men will drift outside their comfort zone to benefit from the chance to partake in a few of their own favoured activities. Until the first sweet corn kernel, anyway. |
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| Author: | Zio [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:01 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
ApplePieOfDestiny wrote: Until the first sweet corn kernel, anyway. Condoms. Truly the rubber glove of the penis, for hygiene aware gentlemen. |
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| Author: | Cavey [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:03 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
ApplePieOfDestiny wrote: Until the first sweet corn kernel, anyway. I was going to say, I'd find it hard to entirely erase the thought of tagnuts/beanskins et al from my mind (not that the fragrant, immaculate Mrs C has ever been afflicted by a tagnut in her entire life). Besides, fanny-farts are one thing, but plain old common-or-garden farts, howsoever induced, are surely another? ... It's really never, ever appealed to me I must say, but perhaps I'm doing it all wrong! Each to his/her own etc. |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:14 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Meanwhile a woman that refuses to gobble a bit of cock now and then is destined for a short relationship. Swallowing is polite but probably not a deal breaker. It's all about compromise. |
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| Author: | Malabelm [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:21 ] |
| Post subject: | The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Zio wrote: ApplePieOfDestiny wrote: Until the first sweet corn kernel, anyway. Condoms. Truly the rubber glove of the penis, for hygiene aware gentlemen. Condoms ruin sex. |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:23 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Malabelm wrote: Condoms ruin sex.  ++But if you're a tail gunner I totally see the need. |
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| Author: | Zio [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:25 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote: Malabelm wrote: Condoms ruin sex. ++But if you're a tail gunner I totally see the need. Quite. They ruin regular sex, but I'm not sure I'd want to have anal sex with a lady without one on. |
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| Author: | Malabelm [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:34 ] |
| Post subject: | The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
*Mutters something about being happy enough to use his tongue there, so fuck using condoms* |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:35 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
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| Author: | Cavey [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:36 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Oh man alive. |
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| Author: | Malabelm [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:40 ] |
| Post subject: | The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
| Have I broken the thread now? There's nothing innately dirty about an arse. You can clean it quite extensively. |
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| Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:41 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Malabelm wrote: You can clean it quite extensively. With your tongue, if your comments are anything to go by. 
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| Author: | Malabelm [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:47 ] |
| Post subject: | The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote: Malabelm wrote: You can clean it quite extensively. With your tongue, if your comments are anything to go by. You paint it like I'm licking actual shit. I knew a girl who wouldn't give blowjobs because that's where pee comes out. I wouldn't drink piss, either. |
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| Author: | Cavey [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:49 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Hey mate, from my POV, whatever lights your candle mate, fair do's! It's just not for me, is all. Perhaps I am a prudish old bastard. edit: I so *do* hope you have a good mouthwash, mind.
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| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:55 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
This is now my absolute favourite thread. 9/10 |
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| Author: | Dimrill [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 19:55 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Urgh. The most I've ever done is use it as a chin rest. |
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| Author: | TheVision [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:05 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Whilst you're playing Xbox? |
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| Author: | ApplePieOfDestiny [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:05 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
flis wrote: This is now my absolute favourite thread. 9/10 I'm holding at 8/10 pending someone declaring golden showers to be the best thing ever. |
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| Author: | ApplePieOfDestiny [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:08 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Malabelm wrote: :D Have I broken the thread now? There's nothing innately dirty about an arse. You can clean it quite extensively. Given that my pinkie had seen a lot of rectal action during sex before I ever sent the tank up one, and I'd never discovered post coital excrement over my hands, I think that the pooh aspect to anal had gone from my mind before I popped my bum cherry. |
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| Author: | Pundabaya [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:10 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Ah, so that's why you needed all those beard-nets. Preventing irritation for her, and stops you having dingleberry-beard. |
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| Author: | Dimrill [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:13 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Pundabaya wrote: and stops you having dingleberry-beard. Ah, now you're not getting me with that one. They're a folk band from Norfolk. |
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| Author: | Dimrill [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:28 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Oh, and Gaz, here's your new avatar. 
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| Author: | metalangel [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:36 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Zio wrote: Quite. They ruin regular sex You have enough kids to start your own orchestra  Quote: but I'm not sure I'd want to have anal sex with a lady without one on. How are you meant to fill her warm tightness with your hot jizz? That's part of the point, you don't have to 'ruin' your sex but you don't have to spray it across her tits pornstar style either. 
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| Author: | flis [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:44 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Malabelm wrote: ....I wouldn't drink piss, either. You massive prude. |
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| Author: | zaphod79 [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:53 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
metalangel wrote: ElephantBanjoGnome wrote: metalangel wrote: Someone ever made an animated gif to prove it How is it you haven't provided a link yet? I'm at work, which makes it hard to search for such things. I'm not quite sure why i'm doing this to try and draw things back on topic (in this thread ? - really???) but a quick google for the keywords gives this link NSFW |
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| Author: | kalmar [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 20:54 ] |
| Post subject: | The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Amazing scenes. |
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| Author: | Grim... [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 21:00 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
zaphod79 wrote: metalangel wrote: ElephantBanjoGnome wrote: metalangel wrote: Someone ever made an animated gif to prove it How is it you haven't provided a link yet? I'm at work, which makes it hard to search for such things. I'm not quite sure why i'm doing this to try and draw things back on topic (in this thread ? - really???) but a quick google for the keywords gives this link NSFW That's quite a famous clip, because she doesn't "do" anal. |
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| Author: | metalangel [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 22:53 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
Grim... wrote: That's quite a famous clip, because she doesn't "do" anal. She does, just not on camera. Same with Faye Reagan  (who again, does it 'privately') and Lexi Belle. There does seem to be a thing where Elegant Angel gets previously non-anal stars to do their first scene... both Gianna Michaels and Sunny Lane made their bum debuts that way and both have later claimed to have 'loved it' (Gianna perhaps enjoying the huge pile of money as she doesn't really seem to enjoy herself that much anyway, while Sunny goes literally cross-eyed in the heat of passion) but hey, haven't seen either of them in any anal scenes since then!Jenna Jameson claimed taking it up the ass on camera was 'compromising' herself because she only did it when people she loved. Still, what a professional, eh? Even when the guy's aim is off, she doesn't break character! |
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| Author: | Warhead [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 0:00 ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread |
ApplePieOfDestiny wrote: flis wrote: This is now my absolute favourite thread. 9/10 I'm holding at 8/10 pending someone declaring golden showers to be the best thing ever. Never tried that, though Mrs. W did want to try her hand at aiming Percy at the porcelain once, just out of curiosity. |
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