Be Excellent To Each Other

I can do many things, but DP a lady on my own is not one of them

Then you have no imagination.

Dur.

As I'm on my phone, I'm going to assume that's a pic of a bifurcated Penistone.

Nah. Perkies does the harrowing porn.

Lolz at Mr Dave style autocorrect

If ever a post didn't require a 'NSFW' disclaimer, that's it.

Actually, you know, I'm sure I've got an old VHS tape somewhere that's got her in it.

I recognise the, ahem, plumpness and somewhat unique configuration of her lady parts.

And her face.

Is that Carol Decker in the busy day at work one?

Ginge with freckles. MmmmmMmmMMMmm.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyhi3 ... o1_400.png

Oh yes.

Any more of her?

Probably.

This sort of thing has pretty much ruined my life. No joke. How am I supposed to think about things when there's this?

For fuck's sake, Dimrill.

Now, that's a meaty cloven tuft.

Does that belong to a certain ex-WWF wrestler, perchance?

Hmm.

I don't think so - the arse in your photo has normal skin, but Chyna's is all manky from steroids. Could have been touched up though.

http://img275.imagevenue.com/img.php?im ... _165lo.jpg
http://dailyjunky.com/wp-content/upload ... 31s198.png

It's certainly close

It's Denise Masino

My first post in this thread!

Fucking Hell.

Not even with yours, TS.

[edit]Aaaaaand I've just noticed the name of the website

I'd just like to state no prior knowledge here. I only found out who she was through some Tineye-ing.

I bet it's nice and velvety like an osses'ses chin.

Skeksis snatch!

Is it a triffid?

That "Strictly Come Dancing Underwater" thing for Sport Relief has got NOTHING on this!

You never get proper scuba porn though do you, just people floating about in a pool.

I've seen scuba porn before. The pearly string he coughed was horrible to see float away.

Kudos to the lovely Kacey, for holding her breath for such long periods AND managing to make him fling his string. Should have put a hair clip on or something, though.

Spunk shots, general jizz and creampies are horrid things and nature has designed it to be horrible, so that we want to hide it as far up ladies* as possible, and this is why girls* who swallow it all straight down are loveliest**. I do not get the porn obsession with it... just fire it all in there and shake hands on a job well done, for pity's sake.

Spaff everywhere = messy and difficult to sort out at the best of times. But it doesn't do you any harm so ingestion is key.

*or men, or bottoms and sundry variations thereof.

** I honestly can't praise you lot highly enough. Really brilliant work there, you guys. Proper commitment to awesomeness and 'prevention over cure'. If you feel you'd like to do more, get in touch.

I actually don't really care for pr0n where the man, faced with a gorgeous naked girl who is clearly willing to use any of her fun parts, decides the best way to conclude is to JERK OFF. I actually mutter 'fail' or 'loser' and watch something else instead. It's only slight less rubbish when she does the jerking.* **This is especially boggling for 'WOW AWESOME BLOWJOB VIDEO' where the man, receiving lots of extra special attention, actually pull away from her so that he can finish himself off.

DUDE. YOU HAVE A LIFETIME OF FINISHING YOURSELF OFF. GIRL WHO IS BEING PAID TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT IS ONLY HERE RIGHT NOW.

*notable exception: titfucks taken to completion.
**unsure of: 'creampie' videos where the guy pulls out, jerks off and THEN hurriedly crams himself back in to deposit his creamy filling into her. I mean, wtf?

FYI, GY, 'creampie' typically refers to spaffing in the vag or bum, not the gob. Though some of the folks who classify these videos seem to think that includes 'wanking yourself off so some of your mess lands near the entrance to said opening', they're WRONG.

Yes, I know

You are entirely correct about the 'wanking finish' though. We're only going to see more of it once condoms become mandatory, as those things can delay orgasm almost forever sometimes. There's noting worse than pumping away ten minutes after she's finished and wants the loo, better to get it out and get it over with or stick it elsewhere and increase the friction.

Romantic sons of bitches, aren't we?

Yes, because there's no way you could possible contract an STD except via semen.

I've seen a few 'condom porn' where at the end the guy has to desperately rip the thing off as he rushes over to her face before he spaffs into it. I can accept creampies being a rarer thing because of the risk (both of disease and pregnancy) but for goodness sake...

Likewise 'for goodness sake', the numerous articles I've read advocating condoms/dental dams (sheets of latex) or even plastic food wrap as a 'barrier' for giving oral. Yeah baby, I know it turns you on when I lick this Saran warp. Oooh.

It's just a general porn thing though isn't it, as if he dumps his load inside of her, there's really not much for the viewer to see.

I'm sure the guys aren't expressing their own personal preference as to where they want to present their special man jelly.

Anyway, as a married man who isn't a big fan of condoms and whose wife doesn't get on at all well with the pill - I'm quite the veteran of 'outside dumpage' in all its various locations.

In fact, I did use a condom a couple of weeks ago (we always have them in the drawer) and I'd forgotten what horrible things they are. Being able to finish off inside was scant consolation for having that horrible rubbery abomination ruining the magnificent warm wetness that otherwise makes ladyparts such a magnificent place to visit.

Clicked this thread by accident.

Goodness me.

On the other hand, life imitates art in some regards, since the dawn of internet porn.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

Move on!

You mean men want to shoot their load onto girls since they started seeing it in porn?

I'd like to think you're wrong but I have read/heard/anecdotes/etc that anal is now considered 'normal' and/or 'expected' in some quarters and that 'on the face' is pretty much in the same situation.

Not good.

Generally, if I can see naked women, I'm sorted. Jizz is inessential. You can tell when a guy's come because he stops having sex. I don't feel ripped off if I don't see cords of reproductive mucas arcing across the frame. I still wouldn't even if I'd ever paid for porn.

The 'young people' I worked with up here seem to think porn is how one is supposed to do it, as opposed to one of many options, most of which are better. What I've seen of them at it* bears this out.

* I hasten to qualify that's 'seen' and not 'watched'. After a given time staff are required to ensure residents aren't in one another's flats. If they are in one another's flat's it's not for a game of scrabble. They don't stop when you walk in either, you have to encourage them to leave. This will tend to be in a communal lounge as opposed to the bedrooms next door which I'd not check in and where they could go at it all night undisturbed if they wanted. It makes me wonder whose benefit they think they're doing it for.

I'm getting an office job instead, unsurprisingly. Even so, it's a step up from the street worker in Cardiff who used to show staff her groin injection site abcess.

Everything: I have seen it.

There certainly is some horrible stuff out there, and it's incredibly easy to access.

I've never been to the Brazzers site but they do have video ads on a lot of the other porn sites, and what the trailers depict is nothing short of downright brutality towards women as far as I can tell.

If young people are genuinely getting their ideas of what sex is supposed to be like from sites like that, it's a pretty scary thought.

I remember when I was a teenager porn was basically the sacred collection of stolen wank mags and the occasional VHS video that'd been through fifty duplication cycles and if you were lucky you might occasionally see a penis going into a vagina.

You need to see it dribbling back out of wherever it was fired?

I'm quite fond of Kacey (from the underwater video), but apart from two cream pie videos, every single on ends with some guy whacking off onto her face. There are several "cumpilation" videos of her (just the money shots) and that's all there is. The only time she was allowed to get the guy off herself was when she was giving a blowjob to a midget in a genie costume (really).

I think that's part of the reason I like Japanese porn. They aren't as beholden to American porn tropes and so blowjobs end with a mouthful of spaff.

Instead they have their own, the most disturbing of which is the fact that 99.9% of the women appear not to be enjoying themselves to the extent it looks as if they're in immense pain.

I know, it's bizarre. Then again, Gianna isn't a bundle of laughs most of the time either.

I find it very appealing when the female is enjoying herself. Maho Sawai (JAV star) usually looks very happy, and there was a Russian one known in the west as Anal Angie who seemed to be having the time of her life.

I enjoy nekkid ladies a lot more if they don't look miserable.

No...instead they go for using titties as a speedball, it would appear.

ZOMG LINK

The Adventure!: a sexy comics jam that's NSFW!