Be Excellent To Each Other

And, you know, party on. Dude.

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Reply to topic  [ 990 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 ... 20  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 23:32 
User avatar
Part physicist, part WARLORD

Joined: 2nd Apr, 2008
Posts: 13421
Location: Chester, UK
Meh. Pulling out all the way is fun. I can totally see how accidental anal would occur under certain circumstances.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2012 23:58 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
How can fuck hard if you're not pulling out pretty far? Unless you've mastered a Bruce Lee style one inch punch method of fucking...I'd like to see that, btw. And if you're fucking each other, as opposed to one party providing all of the motion, slippage does occur. So I can see how you could get the wrong hole, especially if it's really wet and you're in a position where their arse is quite exposed; like doggy or if they've got their knees against their shoulders, or similar.

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 0:18 
SupaMod
User avatar
Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49232
I love flis.

_________________
GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 0:21 
User avatar
Comfortably Dumb

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 12034
Location: Sunny Stoke
Craster wrote:
I love flis.


Which hole?

_________________
Consolemad | Under Logic
Curse, the day is long
Realise you don't belong


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 0:22 
User avatar
Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
devilman wrote:
Craster wrote:
I love flis.


Which hole?


I think Craster likes Portal 2.

_________________
Washing Machine: Fine. Kettle: Needs De-scaling. Shower: Brand new. Boiler: Fine.
Archimedes Hotdog Rhubarb Niner Zero Niner.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:28 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
Anal once made me come in my own face.

TRUFAX.

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:28 
SupaMod
User avatar
Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49232
I feel more details are needed on that one.

_________________
GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:29 
User avatar
Sleepyhead

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27343
Location: Kidbrooke
Grim... wrote:
Anal once made me come in my own face.

TRUFAX.


Well, you shouldn't have let him pump you so hard.

_________________
We are young despite the years
We are concern
We are hope, despite the times


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:42 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
Er... You know how you two are the only ones posting at this time in the morning?

And you know you're both sat within five feet of me right now, right?

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:43 
SupaMod
User avatar
Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49232
What's your point?

_________________
GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:45 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
LLOL dick

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:58 
User avatar
Honey Boo Boo

Joined: 28th Mar, 2008
Posts: 12328
Location: Tronna, Canandada
Dimrill wrote:
If your winky is leaving the lovely fanny when pumpage is at maximum velocity, you need a bigger winky.


I'm pretty certain the only time Jenna Jameson took it in the wrongun on camera was when the gentleman's gentleman accidentally popped out at maximum pump age and went back in the back entrance. Someone ever made an animated gif to prove it (130 years ago, people made films to prove all four of a horse's feet leave the ground simultaneously when it runs... now it's to prove bumsex)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:07 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
flis wrote:
How can fuck hard if you're not pulling out pretty far? Unless you've mastered a Bruce Lee style one inch punch method of fucking...I'd like to see that, btw. And if you're fucking each other, as opposed to one party providing all of the motion, slippage does occur. So I can see how you could get the wrong hole, especially if it's really wet and you're in a position where their arse is quite exposed; like doggy or if they've got their knees against their shoulders, or similar.

I like the fact that this is written in the third person. Very detached.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:23 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
I wish to subscribe to flis's newsletter :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:41 
User avatar

Joined: 23rd Nov, 2008
Posts: 9521
Location: The Golden Country
kalmar wrote:
I wish to subscribe to flis's newsletter :)


Frankly, so do I. :DD

_________________
Beware of gavia articulata oculos...

Dr Lave wrote:
Of course, he's normally wrong but interestingly wrong :p


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 10:59 
User avatar
Part physicist, part WARLORD

Joined: 2nd Apr, 2008
Posts: 13421
Location: Chester, UK
I've subscribed. She's yet to send out a single issue. Disappoint.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:09 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
metalangel wrote:
Someone ever made an animated gif to prove it

How is it you haven't provided a link yet?

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:20 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
Grim... came in his own face while partaking in bumsexings, I write something about how I reckon accidental anal could occur, and it's my newsletter you want to subscribe to?!

IDGI

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:23 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
flis wrote:
Grim... came in his own face while partaking in bumsexings, I write something about how I reckon accidental anal could occur, and it's my newsletter you want to subscribe to?!

IDGI

You don't get that we don't want Grim... describing coming on his own face?

IDGI


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:38 
User avatar
Honey Boo Boo

Joined: 28th Mar, 2008
Posts: 12328
Location: Tronna, Canandada
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
metalangel wrote:
Someone ever made an animated gif to prove it

How is it you haven't provided a link yet?


I'm at work, which makes it hard to search for such things.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:39 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
DavPaz wrote:
flis wrote:
Grim... came in his own face while partaking in bumsexings, I write something about how I reckon accidental anal could occur, and it's my newsletter you want to subscribe to?!

IDGI

You don't get that we don't want Grim... describing coming on his own face?

IDGI


Boys love stories like that. I don't get why there's as much interest in what I said, as opposed to some of the other stuff that gets said. Is it because I is black am a woman? That's what I don't get. I'm not bothered, I'm just wondering, for the sake of discussion.

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:46 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
It's because you're a girl. No-one wants to imagine Grim... having sex. Not even Grim...


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:48 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
Your contribution was a satisfactory explicit description, correct from a viewpoint of physics, biology and experience. Grim...'s isn't :D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:29 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
I think you mean satisfactorily. I feel a twinge in my special grammar place.

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:35 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
I think you mean satisfactorily. I feel a twinge in my special grammar place.


I did write that, then I edited it. Hm!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:39 
SupaMod
User avatar
Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49232
Either works, depending on whether it's the report or the explicitness that's satisfactory.

_________________
GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:41 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
Yeah. Still, now we're discussing grammar. That's not what I subscribed for!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:47 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Ah good point. Satisfactorily-explicit vs satisfactory description.

In other news, I'm a boob man. Definitely not an arse man, which probably explains my aversion to bum sex. :hat:

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:47 
SupaMod
User avatar
Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49232
If it helps, while discussing grammar I'm usually masturbating.

_________________
GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:51 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Satisfactorily?

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:51 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
Craster wrote:
If it helps, while discussing grammar I'm usually masturbating.


Feex.

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:52 
User avatar
Honey Boo Boo

Joined: 28th Mar, 2008
Posts: 12328
Location: Tronna, Canandada
kalmar wrote:
Yeah. Still, now we're discussing grammar. That's not what I subscribed for!


Oh dear. Have some more porn.

Meri and her sexy little overbite (NSFW)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 12:58 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
metalangel wrote:
kalmar wrote:
Yeah. Still, now we're discussing grammar. That's not what I subscribed for!


Oh dear. Have some more porn.

Meri and her sexy little overbite (NSFW)


Oh bollocks, I accidentally just clicked on that. :facepalm:

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 13:00 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
flis wrote:
Craster wrote:
If it helps, whilst discussing grammar I'm usually masturbating.


Feex.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:13 
User avatar
Noob as of 6/8/10

Joined: 6th Aug, 2010
Posts: 5296
Location: , Location, Location.
Dimrill wrote:
Surely the level of resistance offered by the aperture gives you a good idea of where things are going.

You'd think so, wouldn't you, but I can say from personal experience that this is not the case.

On one occasion, many years ago, I made this very mistake in the heat of the moment and it will haunt me forever. The future Mrs. W found it extremely painful, even though penetration was minimal and I was out of there in a fraction of a second as soon as she made me aware that something was not right. I'd never been interested in bumsex before this episode and it only convinced me that it was something to be avoided. Of course, I know that it appeals to some ladeeez as well as a lot of gents, but I'm not one of them.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:21 
User avatar
Paws for thought

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 17154
Location: Just Outside That London, England, Europe
I'm sure we've heard grim...s story before. I seem to remember chuckling.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:27 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5318
Dimrill wrote:
Surely the level of resistance offered by the aperture gives you a good idea of where things are going.


Proper lubrication is obviously necessary and beyond that anything more than moderate resistance and one's partner is not relaxed enough and thus one needs to be better at making girls/boys horny. Once they know how to relax that sphincter, you can crack on. Push a bottle of poppers in their face and whisper something romantic in their ear, that often helps.

Besides, anal needs to exist so that small knobbed men can know what vaginal intercourse feels like for the rest of us :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:45 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
GovernmentYard wrote:
Push a bottle of poppers in their face and whisper something romantic in their ear, that often helps.

Besides, anal needs to exist so that small knobbed men can know what vaginal intercourse feels like for the rest of us :)


Absolute gold.

Please can you write the sex guide to accompany MaliA's dating guide?

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:49 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5318
What could I put in a sex guide? All I know is if you're sexy enough, they'll pretty much demand whatever intimate courtesies lust emboldens them to favour. All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to slide off.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:51 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
GovernmentYard wrote:
All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to ram it up her arse.


FTFY


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 14:52 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
GovernmentYard wrote:
All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to slide off.

Are you reading a Welshmen's guide to sheep-lovin'?

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 15:02 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5318
DavPaz wrote:
GovernmentYard wrote:
All else is following instructions or doing one's best not to ram it up her arse.


FTFY


Disagree. With the exception of my mum and ugly people, my whole life has been dedicated to quite the opposite of what you just said. I think the sense of esteem and satisfaction you get from bum-humping the missus probably equates to the satisfaction womens get from raising a child or something. Certainly in my experience I'd say the feeling is second only to bum-humping someone else's missus.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 15:26 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Hmmm. I've got a date this evening and I reckon asking her how she feels about anal sex is probably as good a way of kicking off the conversation as any.

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:41 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
ElephantBanjoGnome wrote:
Hmmm. I've got a date this evening and I reckon asking her how she feels about anal sex is probably as good a way of kicking off the conversation as any.


Do it and report back :D

What if she's a complete anal slut? What would you do then....?

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:43 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
flis wrote:
What if she's a complete anal slut? What would you do then....?

Duh, anal.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:47 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 26th May, 2008
Posts: 3333
DavPaz wrote:
flis wrote:
What if she's a complete anal slut? What would you do then....?

Duh, anal.


He said it didn't remotely appeal to him, this is how the conversation re. bumming (sort of) started. I was wondering if he'd do it if she wanted it, or if he still wouldn't go near.

_________________
NOTHING TO SEE HERE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:48 
User avatar
Unpossible!

Joined: 27th Jun, 2008
Posts: 38439
Oh, sorry, I thought you meant me. Carry on.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 16:48 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
Comical doesn't want to, though.

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 17:06 
SupaMod
User avatar
Commander-in-Cheese

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 49232
And Grim...'s offered.

_________________
GoddessJasmine wrote:
Drunk, pulled Craster's pork, waiting for brdyime story,reading nuts. Xz


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The Grot, Grumble and Scud thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2012 17:26 
User avatar
Excellent Member

Joined: 25th Jul, 2010
Posts: 11128
Mr Dave wrote:
I'm sure we've heard grim...s story before. I seem to remember chuckling.


I genuinely thought I'd read it as well but a very thorough search reveals nothing. I'm mostly mentioning this just in case Grim has a look at the search logs one day and thinks I've got some kind of fetish for him.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic  [ 990 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 ... 20  Next

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: markg and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search within this thread:
You are using the 'Ted' forum. Bill doesn't really exist any more. Bogus!
Want to help out with the hosting / advertising costs? That's very nice of you.
Are you on a mobile phone? Try http://beex.co.uk/m/
RIP, Owen. RIP, MrC.

Powered by a very Grim... version of phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.