Be Excellent To Each Other

Should ask him if he would still use initials if his first name was Brian.

Like I care about the opinion of a small-time gay pimp.

People who say that usually have a rubbish set of initials. Everyone thinks I'm a master of ceremonies.

Shut it, Dee Dub.

DJ Dub to you.

Top tip: if you're using a Dremel and some Brasso to try and polish something don't soak the polishing bit and then spin it up looking at the edge of it, or you'll spray lots of Brasso into your eyes.

DJ Vee Dub. Cooling with air, like he just don't care.

Where are you safety goggles!

That's health and safety gone mad!

How long has the BBC's 404 page been using the testcard doll?

Bloody hell. Richard Nixon advocated abortion in the case of mixed race pregnancies.

Maybe he's talking about zebra rape.

I don't know but it pleases me that they do.

Taken in context and perspective that isn't surprising at all. It was only a generation or so previous to the 1960s that the concept of eugenics was actively being explored by a number of governments worldwide. Only a fortnight ago Bradford voted two BNP members to the EP.

I think it's safe to say that a 60 year old white republican politician in the 1970s probably didn't like mixed race babies.

Malc

... does anyone else get pissed off when, paying for something by credit card, the shop assistant insists on saying 'enter your PIN number please' within microseconds of your inserting said card into the machine, even though the fucking thing says ENTER PIN NUMBER>, and even though you've almost finished entering it.

And then saying 'remove your card' again within microseconds of the machine saying REMOVE CARD in big letters, and your arm has already commenced its arc of movement to remove said card? FUCK OFF, I'M ALREADY CHUFFING WELL TAKING MY CARD OUT LIKE THE MACHINE SAYS. IT'S NOT AS THOUGH I DON'T KNOW THE FLAMIN' DRILL BY NOW, AFTER THOUSANDS OF CREDIT CARD TRANSACTIONS, INCLUDING HERE, WITH YOU, YOU FLIPPIN' BE-ATCH!!!!11!

I've tried actually like, REALLY OBVIOUSLY holding the edge of the card in rapt anticipation of the precise instant the transaction is cleared and have even successfully fully removed it on occasion, before said assistant can even open their mouth. And yet, they still drone 'please remove your card' anyway, monotonously and in a 'super disinterested' voice. It's not just the odd person either, they pretty much all seem to do it, especially at garages.

Gah! I wonder what they'd think if I then inserted by card where the sun don't shine? (They'd probably still fucking say 'please enter your PIN number').

/phew, I feel better now.

Force of habit, probably. When I worked in a shop, I'd instinctively reach for a bag even if the customer had said they didn't want one.

YESYESYES. It's massively annoying. I guess I understand that it's for the sake of those not comfortable enough with technology to just follow the instructions, or those without the eyesight good enough to read the screen, but it's damned annoying, nonetheless.

Cavey, can I suggest either a cup of tea or a long session with an expensive call girl*?

*Pay cash rather than card, obviously.

"Can you take it out, please?"

"I've already done that, woman!"

"Oh, sorry - I didn't notice."

I'm not going to say a thing after my moan about Subway-type questions of Cashback etc!

"Would you like any splashback?"

Yeah, I've had that two (edit: too even, d'oh) - immensely annoying for both parties involved.

edit - hang on, what am I saying???111? DELETE! DELETE!!! DEL...

/internet connection fails

Meh, good idea chap, sound advice on both fronts.

I can kind of understand it, to be honest. I bet they get hundreds of doddery old fools who stand there rabbiting on, not paying attention to the machine at all.

Not that myp's calling you a doddery old fool, Grandpa Cavey.

Hmm, perhaps they judge by the appearance, apparent competence and age of the customer?

Oh.

Tennis player crashes into a ballgirl and has to retire - his opponent continues playing against one of the ballboys: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8117958.stm

How incredibly unusual!

Well done Haas, I applaud you. Almost makes me forgive you for being a shit in Top Spin 2.

The "or a rape" bit tickled me. To be fair, they're comparable circumstances...

"Have you got an Advantage Card? Would you like one?"

EVERY DAY for the last 18 months whilst paying for my lunch in Boots. I now use an independently run sandwich shop.

Would have been easier to have an advantage card

NOO!! They steal your eyeballs!

An advantage, you might say.

Get out.

Marks and Sparkles in Lancaster is the one that annoys me.

'How are you paying?'
'Card' [take out card and proceed to go to put it in the machine].
[as I'm putting it in the chip and pin machine] 'Oh, can I have your card here please' [hand outstretched].
'Sorry? Can I ask why?'.
'We just prefer to put the cards through the till, you can still enter your pin on the keypad'.
'Is the chip and pin machine working?'
'Yes, but...'
'Well, I prefer not to have people handling my card if I can help it and if it isn't necessary'.

They always want t swipe you card through the machine there, and it's just not necessary. Everyone used to just go along with it, but now I notice many more people put the card in the machine before the assistant asks, and if the assistant still asks say that the prefer to use teh machine. The till assistants get rather haughty over it, too. I've never seen this in another M&S.

Boots advantage cards are ace, so you are a silly man.

It'd be awesome if they used that as the strapline, though. "Get an Advantage Card and you'll never have to put up with our overworked, underpaid lackeys ever asking you again."

God I hate pissy people like that.

My boss's wife is quite old-fashioned and pays my wages via cheque every Friday. She would go into the bank, fill out one of the paying-in slips, and take it to the kiosk thingy. Every week they would endlessly complain about her not using a proper paying-in book because they actually have to do some work if she uses one of the provided slips. They would threaten, saying they'd refuse the cheque the next time. They even went as far as to remove the paying-in slips from the branch to avoid having to do work.

Useless, lazy cretins.

My eyeballs! Think of my eyeballs! Minority Report! 1984! Eyeballs!?!

I get loads of free stuff beacuse of it

Plus, I don't have any room in my coin purse.

I used to get 25% off when I worked at Boots, plus Advantage Card points too. Rock!

Did they give you the Advantage points before applying the discount? If not they wree robbing you of your perks, man.

I'd knock balls with her. Wait. What?

I dunno - Mimi could have a point...

Is it so M&S can link the credit card number to the purchase on their system? Assuming, of course, that the payment machine is seperate and only reports 'paid'/'unpaid' to the till.