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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 13:55 
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Decapodian

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Mr Dave wrote:
Lonewolves wrote:
I find comedy that punches down just isn't that funny these days. Like Ian says it just comes across as bullying.

Ricky Gervais has never been funny, these days or any other days.


:this:

I really don't get why people think he's some kind of comedy genius.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 14:06 
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Gervais was funny on the 11 O'Clock Show, but anything after that has basically just been that character turned up to 11.

The thing that really annoys the piss out of me about Gervais though, is the length of his stand-up shows. Most (citation needed) stand-up comedians will do a show that lasts, at minimum, 90 minutes - some stretching into the realms of 2 hours and (famously, in the case of Lee Evans) even longer.

All his shows are under 80 minutes (shortest just over an hour) and he charges a fair old whack for tickets. After his first show got a negative review from Ian Hislop, he ended every show on that tour afterwards with a derogatory remark about Hislop.

I can't decide whether it's just the character or whether he's actually like it, but he seems to just be an insufferable arse with a massively over-inflated ego.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 14:10 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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Ricky Gervais is in the same Venn diagram set as Mrs Browns Boys and Brexit for me. I know hardly anyone who likes him or wants more of him, yet they all seem to be increasingly prevalent and unavoidable.

He sits in the Union between that set and the set of 'People who laugh loudly at their own jokes, even more so when they're not actually funny'. Population: Myp.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 14:12 
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ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:
Population: Myp + Riles.

Fixed

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 14:16 
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ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:
Ricky Gervais is in the same Venn diagram set as Mrs Browns Boys and Brexit for me. I know hardly anyone who likes him or wants more of him, yet they all seem to be increasingly prevalent and unavoidable.


Where does Ed Sheeran sit in this Venn?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 14:20 
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I quite like Sheeran, so he does not.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 15:50 
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Rude Belittler

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To be fair, I would rather watch Ricky Gervais than that, hypocritical, plagiarising twat Stewart Lee.

(Still waiting for my cut of the royalties, Stew.)


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:12 
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Bad Girl

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Films wot I watched:

Moana: You know what you'll be getting because it's a Disney animated film. Starring The Rock and a bunch of people I haven't heard of. But is it any good? Well, can The Rock sing!? Exactly.

Christmas Office Party: Jennifer Anniston continues her assault on comedy films by being brilliant still in comedy films. I think she's bloody awesome in everything she's in. And hot, Jesus Christ she's gorgeous. Anyway, it's funny without being overly crass although there's lots of the usual slapstick rubbish. The last third is a bit gash. I preferred Sisters with Tina Fey. Still, more films with Jennifer Anniston in is good for me.

Why Him?: Breaking Bad's chief pharmacologist tries his hand as a stuffy dad (again) who meets his daughter's zany millionaire boyfriend, played by James Franco, who says Fuck and Muthafucker in every other sentence! Do they get on? Oh noes. Ho ho. Amazing. Actually it's just a really mediocre low base "comedy". I wouldn't bother.

Assassin's Creed: I watched 9 minutes and 45 seconds. Piss poor direction, editing and dialogue. I just know it's going to be bad. If I've got absolutely nothing better to do with my life I'll watch another 10 minutes.

Kill Bill vol.1: It turns out I have better looking feet than Uma Thurman. Who knew!?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:40 
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SavyGamer

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Yeah I dunno
https://youtu.be/INLzqh7rZ-U

I still don't think Gal Gadot is particularly good at the whole acting thing. Looks alright though. The DC movies seem to always get decent trailers that aren't actually very representative of the films (the Man of Steel trailers were fucking fantastic).


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 15:17 
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I don't think the trailer looks good, even.

I'm going to a screening of GitS on the 24th. The proper one, my hopes for the hollywood one were utterly dashed when the trailer landed.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 17:18 
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I saw GitS last month at the cinema, and it was amazing.

I think the Hollywood one is going to be okay. Batou looks a bit small, though.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 17:47 
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Rude Belittler

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BikNorton wrote:
I don't think the trailer looks good, even.

I'm going to a screening of GitS on the 24th. The proper one, my hopes for the hollywood one were utterly dashed when the trailer landed.


They're doing Stand Alone Complex in the cinema?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2017 18:24 
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No, the original movie.

I noticed a few weeks ago my box of SAC 1st gig has vanished, I am sad.

I thought the Hollywood one was looking really good from the teasers, but the full trailer makes it pretty clear they've chucked nearly everything out.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 0:06 
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Tonight we watched San Andreas with The Rock... It was brilliant!


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 0:23 
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TheVision wrote:
Tonight we watched San Andreas with The Rock... It was brilliant!


Were you round at his or did he come to you?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 1:10 
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SavyGamer

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It is a good film, but it was super bizarre to me that there wasn't any scene where the rock met Paul giamatti, like it was just two films spliced together.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:42 
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I watched a load of stuff over the weekend.

Birdman: I really enjoyed this. The performances, comedy and the overall style of it (not least the soundtrack) made for engaging viewing with only the weakly inconsistent ending marring the experience. Having finally watched it though I'm confused as to why there was supposed to be all this debate over the nature of the lead character.
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
He's not a superhero. He's just an actor prone to flights of fancy, with the Birdman character representing the aspect of himself that wants to just retreat into the comfortable world of popcorn movies and give up on the theatre. The whole bit with the taxi driver is a blatant attempt to signpost this.


Elle: Isabelle Huppert plays the head of a computer game studio who is raped in her home. Though brushing the experience off as unimportant to friends and family she starts investigating her attacker and some pretty twisted hijinks ensue. During my time of watching the film I thoroughly enjoyed it with it's dark humour and brilliant performances from everyone involved. Thinking about it later on though it sends some problematic as fuck signals in that, not only does she just brush the entire thing off as unimportant and carry on seemingly unaffected, but
ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
she then actually starts up a consensual violent sexual relationship with her attacker when she figures out who he is
. Everything comes 'good' in the end, but the journey to that could easily be argued to totally minimise the impact being raped generally has on the victim's life.

Kong: Skull Island: monster flicks aren't something I'm generally interested in but the trailer for this implied a sense of humour about itself that was demonstrated in the final cut as well. It doesn't do anything particularly new ('man is the real monster' of course) but it does it stylishly with a very good cast and decent CGI. Well worth a watch.

The Green Room: punk band play at a nazi venue and see something they shouldn't; brutally violent hijinks ensure. I've been looking forward to this one for ages and was left slightly disappointed. The plot itself lends itself it simplicity but there seemed to be a few confused attempts to beef it up with aspects that just passed me by entirely (or I'm too dumb or wasn't paying enough attention to catch what was happening). Performances from the members of the band--including yer man who played Sulu in the Start Trek reboot--were very good in general but Patrick Stewart as the head nazi was nowhere near as interesting as I was hoping for. In my head he was going to be all scenery chewing evil but in reality he did fuck all of note and was a pretty polite figure throughout; opportunity missed there.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:49 
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Bamba wrote:
TheVision wrote:
Tonight we watched San Andreas with The Rock... It was brilliant!


Were you round at his or did he come to you?

:D

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 19:00 
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Hello Hello Hello

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Bamba wrote:
The Green Room: punk band play at a nazi venue and see something they shouldn't; brutally violent hijinks ensure. I've been looking forward to this one for ages and was left slightly disappointed. The plot itself lends itself it simplicity but there seemed to be a few confused attempts to beef it up with aspects that just passed me by entirely (or I'm too dumb or wasn't paying enough attention to catch what was happening). Performances from the members of the band--including yer man who played Sulu in the Start Trek reboot--were very good in general but Patrick Stewart as the head nazi was nowhere near as interesting as I was hoping for. In my head he was going to be all scenery chewing evil but in reality he did fuck all of note and was a pretty polite figure throughout; opportunity missed there.


Yeah pretty much exactly what I said about it - viewtopic.php?p=913597#p913597

I was waiting for Patrick Stewart to offer everyone a nice cup of tea, since it seemed like it'd be entirely in character for this most polite of nazis, who kind of makes nazis seem OK, really. Like, you could get on with nazis alright, if they were all similar to Patrick Stewart.

Quote:
Finally got to see 'GREEN ROOM' last night which is solid but not amazing and I felt not as good as BLUE RUIN. (Perhaps the director's next film will be 'RED CRUET' or something.)

The premise is fairly straightforward, a struggling punk band play a gig at a white supremacist club, see something they shouldn't, and are not allowed to leave, but obviously they want to leave. TROUBLES ensue.

I was really looking forward to seeing Patrick Stewart playing a nazi but it turns out he just does old Picard (he's even polite!) albeit a bit more murdery and prone to saying 'fuck' and the n word occasionally.

It was a decent watch and it held my interest, but for my money it lacked the originality and offbeat sort of feel that Blue Ruin had. The violence was pleasingly icky although I definitely got a feeling there'd been a bit snippity-snip going on for the R rating, one of the attacks in particular was very jerkily edited.

Oh yes and it's got the Chekov guy out of Star Trek in it who's dead now because he got squashed by his car. He's pretty good in this.

I'm saying good but not great. 7.5/10.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 19:16 
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Oh yes I watched 'I, DANIEL BLAKE' last night which was incredibly good.

It's one of the most nakedly political films I've ever watched, which is fine by me, it had a purity of purpose that I really admired.

There are a couple of truly heartbreaking scenes, but overall it's not played out as some kind of miserablist emotional torture device. Instead we're presented with ordinary people falling upon hard and difficult times, trying to maintain their dignity and decency as best they can in the face of an oppressively bureaucratic system that's clearly been devised by a brutal and uncaring government to grind them down to nothing.

This film is not without hope, but it is a devastatingly effective howl of anger borne of the misery and indignities being inflicted upon those who need help and support, instead of indifference and vilification. Still, at least the FTSE's riding high, eh?

Watch out for getting 'dust in your eyes'.

Highly recommended.

876/1000.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:39 
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I remembered something else interesting about Elle this morning. As I mentioned, the lead character is the head of a games studio. Weirdly though, in the film, they're not developing a fictional game; they were working on the new Styx game which releases today. It's an odd thing to do because (a) the game they're working on has no real impact on the narrative so could've easily just been made something generic for the sake of the film and (b) the film's narrative does not speak well of a few of the developer characters so it's not like it paints the real life studio in a positive light. Also, y'know, violent and twisted rape revenge story: not exactly your usual fluffy cross-promotion type of thing. I do really wonder why the real life Cyanide Studio went for this deal at all.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:54 
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SavyGamer

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Yeah I had similar thoughts.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 19:56 
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John Wick chapter 2.

GUN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

Are you an inspiring direction who wants to know how to film a fight scene? Watch the first 5 minutes. No shakey cam, just a stationary camera pulled back far enough to see absolutely everything.

Criticisms:

Story? Virtually nonexistent. Kinda stupid. Face punchingly ridiculous ending for a clearly planned sequel.

Keanu? Better when he shuts his goddamn cake hole. He's actiontastic though.

Action: 3 main scenes which is the same as the original and, frankly, deserved at least one more extended scene shoved in there. No one came to see Neo punch and kick people: we came for the gun porn. Likewise no one is interested in Keanu burning around in his brum brum we just want to see him shoot people in the head. People do get shot in the head. I like that. Wicky-wicky-wild-wild-Wick does seem to showboat for the audience a lot more this time and shoots people in the legs when the original Wick revelled in hitting the brain box as quickly as possible. I can't complain though since there were a lot of head shots. There wasn't nearly enough of shotgun Wick because shotgun Wick is the best Wick. The magpul mag-flip was AWESOME. Checking the ejection port on a pistol with one hand was also awesome. Actually I didn't mind the punching and kicking when there was stabbing involved. Lots of stabbing. Anyway, my biggest complaint: bullet proof suit. It's shit, too comic booky and I don't like it. Also: the gun porn was gun porntastic.

I want to watch it again. Not as good as the original but still a romping good head shot time.

8/10


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 19:59 
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Some of us like hearing muscle cars being trundled about.

Hopefully it'll be soon to bluray, because it looks like I still hate cinemagoers too much (yes yes, can't deal with them well enough, my problem not theirs etc etc) to go to the cinema. And that's based on a showing of Logan with a couple of dozen people in it.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Wed Mar 15, 2017 20:00 
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I really shouldn't be going to the GitS showing should I?


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 11:10 
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Quite enjoyed Logan. Very bloody. Very sweary. Good stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 17:29 
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Jem wrote:
Quite enjoyed Logan. Very bloody. Very sweary. Good stuff.


enough abut you, what about the film? :kiss:

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 17:47 
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KovacsC wrote:
Jem wrote:
Quite enjoyed Logan. Very bloody. Very sweary. Good stuff.


enough abut you, what about the film? :kiss:


:DD

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 20:01 
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I've watched Resident Evil: The Final Chapter. My god it's bad. This will surprise no one.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2017 22:17 
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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 10:12 
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Last night I watched '127 HOURS' which is about a man who falls down a hole and gets his arm stuck underneath a rock, but then after a certain amount of time he manages to get his arm unstuck by breaking it in two places and then cutting through it with a cheap Chinese multitool that came free with a Chinese 'flashlight', which is what Americans call a torch.

It is a true story and is reckoned to be the 'actual' true story rather than one of those dodgy 'based on a true story' type affairs, whereby they'd extrapolate the entire film from the starting point of 'once a man had a torch', and they'd make up all the stuck down a hole and chopping his own arm off stuff.

Most of the film is just the man in the hole, but there are flashbacks and hallucinations which flesh out his character, and allow us to RELATE to him and his predicament.

It is directed by Danny Boyle and his usual team, Danny Boyle is the man who made both heroin and the Olympics glamorous and exciting, and paved the way for Ewan McGregor to play a dull faceless Jedi in the sub-standard Star Wars prequels.

Overall I liked this film and the main chap, who is on screen for nearly the entire running time, James Franco (no relation to Francisco Franco who we don't like and would not wish to see in modern cinema), holds the screen very well with what I believe is called PRESENCE.

The cinematography is stunning too with lots of impressive vistas and shots of big canyons, also there is clever and funky editing going on with split screen effects which I liked because it conveys lots of information in a snappy fashion and a short space of time, and allows the total running time to be an agreeably tight 93 minutes.

The film is available on NETFLIX UK and I pressed on FOUR STARS when it had finished but in reality I would rate it as 735/1000 but unfortunately the Netflix rating system is primitive and does not afford this degree of granularity.

Also, did you know that if you press CTRL+SHIFT+ALT+S at the same time, you can force Netflix to use a bitrate of your choice? This is handy when for some mysterious reason it won't stream immediately in HD, despite being set to force HD in the options. I have found this useful.

Thank you for reading this review of '127 HOURS' I hope you have a pleasant day.

The film has a '15' certificate, the people in the film say 'fuck' and 'fucking' quite a lot, and the bit when he chops his arm off is quite icky. On balance I feel that a 15 is appropriate.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 13:43 
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Hearthly wrote:
the bit when he chops his arm off

Spoilers!


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 13:45 
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You'll be pleased to learn that Netflix is going to drop star ratings in favour of thumbs up and down very soon


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 13:51 
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zaphod79 wrote:


How have I not heard of this, it looks glorious!

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 15:07 
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DavPaz wrote:
You'll be pleased to learn that Netflix is going to drop star ratings in favour of thumbs up and down very soon


>:(


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 22:07 
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Cras wrote:
zaphod79 wrote:


How have I not heard of this, it looks glorious!

Didn't you watch the trailer on my phone at your birthday party?

And if not - why not?

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 22:27 
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Apparently not!

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 22:42 
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I am interested in this female John Wick film. Especially since Scarlett shows she can looking realistically stylish kicking ass in, say, Lucy.

Edit: Shame it's actually Charlize. :S


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 0:20 
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JASON BOURNE looks old and tired. It was a decent film, quite exciting although I find the more Bourne knows about himself, the less interesting it gets (the Treadstone programme blah blah, recruitment blah shady this and that, I think I forgot some of the blah blah from the other films).

I did enjoy the action and the stunts, it was pretty exciting. There was a point in the middle that seemed to drag a bit. There's still quite a lot of 'jerky-cam' but that doesn't bother me as much as it seems to for others.

Iron Man 2 was on telly on Sat night, I watched the last hour or so. I remember feeling a little puzzled about some of the negative reviews, I thought it was pretty good if a little bit 'throwaway'. The end battle was exciting with the drones but then the main baddy turns up and it fizzles out too quickly which was a bit disappointing.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:50 
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Last night I watched THE WRESTLER on Netflix.

This is a film I've been intending to watch for years, like, it's so old I downloaded it back in the day and burned it to DVD-R, that's how old it is, (I stopped burning DVDs a fair while ago), and yet for some reason I was never quite in the right mood to watch it. (I think this is understandable considering it's by the same guy who did Requiem For A Dream, which whilst magnificent is not exactly a cheerful affair.)

I do not think THE WRESTLER is as good as Requiem For A Dream, but it's not far off either. A bit like Requiem, it's a pretty slow build to an absolute powerhouse of a closing 20 minutes or so, and I didn't realise just how much THE WRESTLER had grabbed and pinned me until I realised I'd entered a state of near-captivation without noticing it happen.

If you have Netflix (and really, everyone should have Netflix), there is no reason at all not to watch this.

Also gets a 1 on the Craster scale, but they are PATHOS BOOBIES so not necessarily something you're going to crack one out to.

845/1000


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:57 
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Pathos Boobies is the name of my The Cure covers band.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:59 
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Hearthly wrote:
Last night I watched THE WRESTLER on Netflix.

This is a film I've been intending to watch for years, like, it's so old I downloaded it back in the day and burned it to DVD-R, that's how old it is, (I stopped burning DVDs a fair while ago), and yet for some reason I was never quite in the right mood to watch it. (I think this is understandable considering it's by the same guy who did Requiem For A Dream, which whilst magnificent is not exactly a cheerful affair.)

I do not think THE WRESTLER is as good as Requiem For A Dream, but it's not far off either. A bit like Requiem, it's a pretty slow build to an absolute powerhouse of a closing 20 minutes or so, and I didn't realise just how much THE WRESTLER had grabbed and pinned me until I realised I'd entered a state of near-captivation without noticing it happen.

If you have Netflix (and really, everyone should have Netflix), there is no reason at all not to watch this.

Also gets a 1 on the Craster scale, but they are PATHOS BOOBIES so not necessarily something you're going to crack one out to.

845/1000


The Wrestler is superb.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:02 
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Darren Arronofsky is maybe my favourite director, such a shame we never got to see his take on Batman (although the Nolan films we got instead were fantastic).

The Fountain is his masterpiece.


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:18 
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LewieP wrote:
(although the Nolan films we got instead were fantastic)

Yeah, never fails to put me in the mood for dancing.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:26 
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Watched Law Abiding Citizen, followed by Stargate, followed by Gone Girl on Saturday.

Law Abiding Citizen was not what we were expecting it to be, nor was Gone Girl for that matter. Both decent films, although a few plot holes in Gone Girl which means the more you think about it the less it makes sense (I think it's kind of going for that on purpose though)

Stargate was decent enough, but has one single plot hole which is unforgivable :P


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:31 
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GazChap wrote:
Watched Law Abiding Citizen, followed by Stargate, followed by Gone Girl on Saturday.

Law Abiding Citizen was not what we were expecting it to be, nor was Gone Girl for that matter. Both decent films, although a few plot holes in Gone Girl which means the more you think about it the less it makes sense (I think it's kind of going for that on purpose though)

Stargate was decent enough, but has one single plot hole which is unforgivable :P


I enjoy re-watching Law Abiding Citizen, but I wish they'd filmed an alternative ending for it

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:34 
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Watched Nocturnal Animals last night, it was ok, pretty looking but I didn't fully get the ending.

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Had he just stood her up as revenge? Killed himself? Fuck knows.


Underworld: I don't know, the new one. Fell asleep.

I've also seen Trolls about five times and counting. It's not too bad, though. The morals of it seems to be "you can't trust a hippie" and "survivalist nutcases are right".


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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:57 
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sneering elitist

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GazChap wrote:
Stargate was decent enough, but has one single plot hole which is unforgivable :P


I assume by this you mean "the whole film".

Gone Girl was just weird AF.

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:51 
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Jem wrote:
GazChap wrote:
Stargate was decent enough, but has one single plot hole which is unforgivable :P


I assume by this you mean "the whole film".

Gone Girl was just weird AF.


I read the book on a recommendation of a friend and it's one of the few books that has an ending so contrived and implausible I threw it across the room in rage when I finished it. The film is very faithful to the book and just as annoying. It's the only book I've ever seen that has questions at the end for a book club. Half a dozen examples that are literally admitting the book is contrived and deliberately contentious and inviting people to discuss it at their book clubs!

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 Post subject: Re: The Movie topic
PostPosted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 11:56 
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DBSnappa wrote:
It's the only book I've ever seen that has questions at the end for a book club.

Oh my Christ, that's fucking horrific.

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