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The Movie topic
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Author:  Derek The Halls [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 13:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

I saw the new Ghostbusters and quite enjoyed it. I saw the new Star Trek and I was utterly indifferent to it. I saw 30 minutes of Absolutely Fabulous The Movie.

Author:  Derek The Halls [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 13:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

I saw the new Ghostbusters and quite enjoyed it. I saw the new Star Trek and I was utterly indifferent to it. I saw 30 minutes of Absolutely Fabulous The Movie.

Author:  LewieP [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 13:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

These reboots are getting quicker and quicker.

Author:  myp [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 14:02 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

LewieP wrote:
These reboots are getting quicker and quicker.

I blame SSDs.

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Jul 26, 2016 14:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Derek The Halls wrote:
I saw the new Ghostbusters and quite enjoyed it. I saw the new Star Trek and I was utterly indifferent to it. I saw 30 minutes of Absolutely Fabulous The Movie.

Was Ab Fab that bad?

Did you like the TV show?

Author:  Grim... [ Wed Jul 27, 2016 17:14 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic



What the dick?!

Author:  MrChris [ Wed Jul 27, 2016 17:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

WTAF?

Author:  Mr Dave [ Wed Jul 27, 2016 17:40 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
What the dick?!

Because, as if Robocop, Ghostbusters et al haven't shown enough, a large chunk of Filmmakers have run out of ideas and/or could never think of their own.

Author:  Grim... [ Wed Jul 27, 2016 17:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Mr Dave wrote:
Grim... wrote:
What the dick?!

Because, as if Robocop, Ghostbusters et al haven't shown enough, a large chunk of Filmmakers have run out of ideas and/or could never think of their own.

The best games of 2016 are Doom, Uncharted 4 and Dark Souls 3, let's not forget.

Author:  TheVision [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
Mr Dave wrote:
Grim... wrote:
What the dick?!

Because, as if Robocop, Ghostbusters et al haven't shown enough, a large chunk of Filmmakers have run out of ideas and/or could never think of their own.

The best games of 2016 are Doom, Uncharted 4 and Dark Souls 3, let's not forget.


And the yearly updates of Fifa/WWE games clearly sell well enough to make them worthwhile.

Author:  MaliA [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:30 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

TheVision wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Mr Dave wrote:
Grim... wrote:
What the dick?!

Because, as if Robocop, Ghostbusters et al haven't shown enough, a large chunk of Filmmakers have run out of ideas and/or could never think of their own.

The best games of 2016 are Doom, Uncharted 4 and Dark Souls 3, let's not forget.


And the yearly updates of Fifa/WWE games clearly sell well enough to make them worthwhile.


We've all played Game Dev Story.

Author:  Cras [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
Mr Dave wrote:
Grim... wrote:
What the dick?!

Because, as if Robocop, Ghostbusters et al haven't shown enough, a large chunk of Filmmakers have run out of ideas and/or could never think of their own.

The best games of 2016 are Doom, Uncharted 4 and Dark Souls 3, let's not forget.


And GTAV and L4D2*

*I don't think we've played L4D2 in 2016 but it's still one of the best games of 2016.

Author:  myp [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

L4D1 > L4D2

Author:  lasermink [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 23:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Didn't that trailer just do a synopsis of the entire movie?

Author:  Zardoz [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 16:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Yes.

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 17:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

This, this can't continue can it? This horrendous lack of anything from Hollywood? I'm sick and bored of superhero movies now, and I'm reduced to rocking back and forth clutching tight my copy of Broadcast News, hungry for something entertaining AND intelligent.

Surely, surely there's got to be some sort of backlash eventually? Because I really can't see myself going to the cinema much at all the next few years.

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 17:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

You'll be pleased to hear that they're remaking splash with Channing Tatum and Jillian Bell, then.

Perhaps you'd like to see more things like The Godfather, The Wizard of Oz, Gone With The Wind, Psycho, or Ben Hur?

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 17:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

P.S. Channing Tatum is going to be a merman.

Author:  Cras [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 17:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

That will be epic.

Author:  Cras [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 17:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

I saw a brilliant comment the other day about remaking loads of films like the Dirty Dozen with all female casts - varied actresses as appropriate, but the one constant would be to cast Chris Hemsworth as the ditzy male sidekick in every single film. Maximum trolling.

Author:  LewieP [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 17:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

There is a Ben Hur remake out soon. They already remade Psycho. Wizard of Oz had a prequel and there is a TV series out I think next year (Directed by Tarsem Singh, and with Vincent D'Onofrio as The Great and Powerful Oz).

Author:  markg [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

NervousPete wrote:
This, this can't continue can it? This horrendous lack of anything from Hollywood? I'm sick and bored of superhero movies now, and I'm reduced to rocking back and forth clutching tight my copy of Broadcast News, hungry for something entertaining AND intelligent.

Surely, surely there's got to be some sort of backlash eventually? Because I really can't see myself going to the cinema much at all the next few years.

As long as people keep flocking to these snoozefests in droves then nothing will change. There's no shortage of talent or imagination out there but there's also no appetite for taking any risks when it comes to blockbuster films. It was always the same I guess, whenever an original film came along then there would be a glut of other films trying to cash in but then something new would come along and that would be the end of that era. But with the comic book thing they can just make one after another without resorting to barely disguised rip offs and they'll be successful.

Thing is they're mostly not bad films but they just excite me so little that by the fourth massive action sequence I've often actually fallen asleep.

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

LewieP wrote:
There is a Ben Hur remake out soon. They already remade Psycho. Wizard of Oz had a prequel and there is a TV series out I think next year (Directed by Tarsem Singh, and with Vincent D'Onofrio as The Great and Powerful Oz).

All of them (the original films) were based on plays or books, was the point.

Hollywood (and every other story-telling medium) has been remaking stories for years. Stories people tell each other are the same stories they've told each other for years, and always have been. The only reason we think it's a new thing is because we can't remember that far back.

IMO with the rise of indy cinema and the ease at which non-massive companies can make a film compared to just a couple of decades ago this might be the most original period filmaking has ever been in.

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Suicide Squad is doing well then

Quote:
Just when you think the summer movie season can’t get any worse, along come the “Worst. Heroes. Ever.” And while the film’s official tagline is selling its stars a little bit short (surely last year’s incarnation of The Fantastic Four still holds that dubious distinction), the mundane, milquetoast, and often mind-bogglingly stupid “Suicide Squad” almost makes good on the threat of its marketing campaign.

Of course, the advertising copy isn’t referring to the quality of the film’s super-powered task force so much as it is to their moral fiber, but this motley crew of demented rejects — a real who’s who of who gives a shit — are bad in every sense of the word except for the one that might threaten to make them interesting.


http://www.indiewire.com/2016/08/suicid ... 201712352/

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Oh balls. I thought it was going to be good :(

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:

Hollywood (and every other story-telling medium) has been remaking stories for years. Stories people tell each other are the same stories they've told each other for years, and always have been. The only reason we think it's a new thing is because we can't remember that far back.

Sturgeon's Law says that 90% of everything is crap. But there's recency bias at work. Ask someone to name nine crap films from last year and they can, easily. Ask them to name nine crap films from 1986 and they'll struggle. When we look back in time, the crap fades from our memory, and hence we feel the past was better than the present. But it's often an illusion.

Author:  markg [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:35 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

On the other hand I can remember loads of big budget films from the eighties that were all distinct from one another visually and thematically. Summer blockbusters just seem far more homogenous now. They used to be meant for kids but the rest of the family could enjoy them too nowadays they are aimed squarely at the 30-50 year old parents but kept child-friendly so the kids can go along as well. Hence all the reboots of things that grown ups used to enjoy. Kids are being ripped off, they don't have their own thing any more.

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 18:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
LewieP wrote:
There is a Ben Hur remake out soon. They already remade Psycho. Wizard of Oz had a prequel and there is a TV series out I think next year (Directed by Tarsem Singh, and with Vincent D'Onofrio as The Great and Powerful Oz).

All of them (the original films) were based on plays or books, was the point.

Hollywood (and every other story-telling medium) has been remaking stories for years. Stories people tell each other are the same stories they've told each other for years, and always have been. The only reason we think it's a new thing is because we can't remember that far back.

IMO with the rise of indy cinema and the ease at which non-massive companies can make a film compared to just a couple of decades ago this might be the most original period filmaking has ever been in.


Yeah, I got your point in that list. But at the same time those came out there was also a lot of original work. Actually, I'd like to see more things like Slap Shot, The Warriors, Being There, Charley Varrick, Miracle Mile, Dark City, The Truman Show, Broadcast News, Sunset Boulevard, Adventures in Babysitting, Matinee, Twelve Angry Men, Targets, The Train, Annie Hall, Nebraska, Aguirre Wrath of God, The Straight Story, Fargo, The Day the Earth Caught Fire... all wonderful films of every type that didn't even have an origin as a novel to fall back on. Failing that, at least obscure novels and plays as an origin.

Who have we got at the moment regularly doing novel things of their own making? Tarantino, the Coen Brothers and Wes Anderson. Those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. There's a few James Gunn types about. The odd film by a Duncan Jones or Joe Cornish before they're swallowed whole and set to work making franchises out of IP's. But that's about it.

I'm well aware of Theodore Sturgeon's law, but as far as I can tell as regards cinema it's pushing the 95% mark. You filter out comic book and fantasy movies and what is it then? I don't think anyone can seriously deny that while we have a golden age in computer gaming, and things are looking fairly good in the world of written fiction and music, the film industry is by and large just completely awful. Whilst I mildly enjoyed the new Star Trek movie for the odd cool sequence and a refreshing focus on character work in the opening half, I still couldn't give it more than a solid three out of five. The film, amongst others, is just too hampered by the now yawn-some conventional three act comic book structure of threat, low point, triumph - and always over a bad guy with a doomsday weapon. I just can't take these same goddam stories anymore.

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Isn't there some saying that there are only six stories, or something, and everything is just a variation of that core?

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Also, consider what we wouldn't have if unoriginal films weren't made. Recently-ish, we've had the Star Trek reboot, new Star Wars, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, motherfucking Deadpool, Cap 3, Kingsmen, Ant-man, Toy Story 3, X-men First Class, Thor, Kung Fu Panda 2, 22 Jump Street, Mad Max Fury Road, Bridge of Spies, fucking Singham Returns!

Sure, you might not agree that they're all good, but there's plenty of decent films that are remakes or sequels. And I'm sure there are plenty more I've missed.

(Cue someone listing all the films from that list that they don't like and missing the point)

Author:  Curiosity [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:34 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
Oh balls. I thought it was going to be good :(


I've seen other reviews saying that it's good. The main criticism appears to be that it isn't nearly as 'fun' as the trailer makes it out to be. It's still very much DC IS THE DARKNESS! Though it has more fun than BvS, obv.

Wonder Woman could be ace, though the trailer does make it look a bit like Capt America.

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:36 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
Isn't there some saying that there are only six stories, or something, and everything is just a variation of that core?


Yes, Joseph Campbell. Ever since Lucas cited him as a core inspiration for Star Wars, Hollywood have held him close to their hearts, to the exclusion of all else.

I forgot to add another golden age, the golden age of Television. At least there's that. And with it I can see trouble for Hollywood up ahead. I heard tell that the big actors out there are expressing dissatisfaction with the unvarying scripts and punishing spectacles. And there's only so many Avenger sequels I can see them being happy with appearing in unless they are allowed to get their teeth into some genuinely different and interesting roles. Meanwhile, a ways ahead there's the threat of a talent gap as younger talented actors might begin to hew closer to television where they can be assured of better roles. Sure, they'll be happy to pick up the big paychecks with the odd franchise film, but television represents a solid ongoing wage in audiences that are increasingly bigger than films. I'm already pretty convinced that the good scriptwriters are sticking to TV, or at the least if they're trying film they become so hopelessly compromised by the studio system that the film ends up the same as written by some hack.

I mean I can see the bind Hollywood is in. The DVD market has gone and Blu-Ray can't last forever. Online streaming doesn't really favour smaller, obscurer films because people find it harder to browse and take chances, unlike in a video store, and it makes it more difficult to a studio to target their recommendations. So Hollywood falls back on the big obvious crowd-pleasers. It used to be that you'd chance so many break-evens and flops for a big breakout hit. Now the IP franchise is firmly entrenched, no studio executive wants to take the chance of being fired. If a film fails they can at least point to the spreadsheets and say, "Look at the name recognition this thing charted. Not my fault for green-lighting this, see?" Thusly everyone up and down the chain can pass it off as an act of God. So long as they're grabbing bankable properties and Orci and Kurtzman for every bloody film, they can defend themselves against the shareholders.

And so film largely remains awful. I'd kill for Harrison Ford to finish off with something as good and original as Witness.

Meanwhile, to see lots of trailers for unsung films with commentaries by such greats as Joe Dante, John Landis, Rick Baker, Edgar Wright etc - go here:

http://trailersfromhell.com/

Found it two nights ago and have wasted an entertaining hour on it already. Check out the ones you don't know - most of the flicks look bloody intriguing!

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
Also, consider what we wouldn't have if unoriginal films weren't made. Recently-ish, we've had the Star Trek reboot, new Star Wars, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, motherfucking Deadpool, Cap 3, Kingsmen, Ant-man, Toy Story 3, X-men First Class, Thor, Kung Fu Panda 2, 22 Jump Street, Mad Max Fury Road, Bridge of Spies, fucking Singham Returns!

Sure, you might not agree that they're all good, but there's plenty of decent films that are remakes or sequels. And I'm sure there are plenty more I've missed.

(Cue someone listing all the films from that list that they don't like and missing the point)


I did like most of those films, to be sure. Especially Guardians of the Galaxy, Mad Max Fury Road and Toy Story 3. But I can't honestly say I'm interested in seeing much in the way of comic book movies anymore. Captain America 3 was entertaining in the cinema, and quite thoughtful in places, but so, so long and I just can't imagine wanting to own any of them on DVD to watch again and again. Even the great Avengers, which was superb, has retrospectively suffered from my superhero fatigue. Fury Road is holding its own somewhat more owing to its sheer strangeness and refreshing mix of quiet beauty and jaw-dropping action aplomb. But though I liked Thor and X-Men in the cinemas... no, I just don't want to revisit them again. They all share that same story and they all go the same places. City destruction, punching, bad guys letting themselves get caught, endless reaction shots, insert quipping here... sigh.

And you know why Wrath of Khan is great? It's restraint. Even with the "KHAAAAAAN!" and "With my last breath I spit at thee!" it has two great action sequences, and a hell of a lot chewey great character stuff and tension throughout the rest of it. Now blockbusters have to run two and half hours and have at least six big action set-pieces and three climaxes.

Now put on Targets - raw, horrifying, thrilling stuff. Or Miracle Mile. Hell, even look at Wargames! Ferris Bueller! Our blessed saints in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure! Memorable iamges from all of them. And MarkG, I totally agree with you. The 80's had lots of films feeding off the same story but they were all considerably brightened by idiosyncratic directors, stars and writers who created remarkably inventive moments that stay with you.

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

markg wrote:
On the other hand I can remember loads of big budget films from the eighties that were all distinct from one another visually and thematically.

"The eighties" is ten years. So considering just the IMDB top five or so most popular movies of each year from 2006-2016, with just a quick look through to pick the most significant, I can see

* Deadpool
* Mad Max: Fury Road
* Cloverfield
* The Dark Knight
* Twilight
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* The Departed
* The Prestige
* Casino Royale
* No Country For Old Men
* Juno
* Star Trek
* Inglourious Basterds
* Avatar
* Zombieland
* Inception
* Shutter Island
* Black Swan
* Scott Pilgrim vs The World
* Bridesmaids
* Drive
* Django Unchained
* The Wolf Of Wall Street
* Interstellar
* Gone Girl
* Whiplash
* Straight Outta Compton

In what world are these films not "distinct from one another visually and thematically"?

Author:  ApplePieOfDestiny [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

I think everyone's saying that they only go and see big budget films and that the big budget films should be different big budget films while ignoring the vast number of non big budget independent films in their search for a new story.

Of course big budget films will follow a limited number of standard routes. They're big budget so need to command a return.

Author:  Zardoz [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

• Freddy got fingered

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 19:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:
I think everyone's saying that they only go and see big budget films and that the big budget films should be different big budget films while ignoring the vast number of non big budget independent films in their search for a new story.

Of course big budget films will follow a limited number of standard routes. They're big budget so need to command a return.


But unless you're in a city with an arts cinema you're fresh out of luck seeing most indie films.

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
markg wrote:
On the other hand I can remember loads of big budget films from the eighties that were all distinct from one another visually and thematically.

"The eighties" is ten years. So considering just the IMDB top five or so most popular movies of each year from 2006-2016, with just a quick look through to pick the most significant, I can see

[Series of at least reasonably good films, excepting Twilight, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Cloverfield.]

In what world are these films not "distinct from one another visually and thematically"?


Hmm, okay, let me check my IMDB's over the next few days and see if I can get some ratios.

Author:  Grim... [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 20:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

You have an IMDB?

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 20:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

NervousPete wrote:
my IMDB's

You IMDB's what?

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 20:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

ARGGGGH!

*Hurls ex-librarian self out of window*

Author:  Doctor Glyndwr [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 20:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

It's coz your brain's turned to mush under a barrage of cookie-cutter comic book movies.

Author:  Mr Dave [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 20:26 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Grim... wrote:
Also, consider what we wouldn't have if unoriginal films weren't made. Recently-ish, we've had the Star Trek reboot, new Star Wars, Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, motherfucking Deadpool, Cap 3, Kingsmen, Ant-man, Toy Story 3, X-men First Class, Thor, Kung Fu Panda 2, 22 Jump Street, Mad Max Fury Road, Bridge of Spies, fucking Singham Returns!

Sure, you might not agree that they're all good, but there's plenty of decent films that are remakes or sequels. And I'm sure there are plenty more I've missed.

(Cue someone listing all the films from that list that they don't like and missing the point)

Objection: Singham returns wasn't a film. It was a force of nature.

Author:  NervousPete [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 20:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Seriously though, go and enjoy the Trailers from Hell website. Lots of great stuff there.

Author:  markg [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
markg wrote:
On the other hand I can remember loads of big budget films from the eighties that were all distinct from one another visually and thematically.

"The eighties" is ten years. So considering just the IMDB top five or so most popular movies of each year from 2006-2016, with just a quick look through to pick the most significant, I can see

* Deadpool
* Mad Max: Fury Road
* Cloverfield
* The Dark Knight
* Twilight
* The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
* The Departed
* The Prestige
* Casino Royale
* No Country For Old Men
* Juno
* Star Trek
* Inglourious Basterds
* Avatar
* Zombieland
* Inception
* Shutter Island
* Black Swan
* Scott Pilgrim vs The World
* Bridesmaids
* Drive
* Django Unchained
* The Wolf Of Wall Street
* Interstellar
* Gone Girl
* Whiplash
* Straight Outta Compton

In what world are these films not "distinct from one another visually and thematically"?

I guess I was thinking more in terms of family blockbusters. Can't see this generation of films inspiring a TV series like Stranger Things in twenty odd years time. I dunno maybe it will, it's obviously not for me to say but it just seems that kids who grow up now will having nothing to remember in the same way we have The Goonies or Back To The Future or Indiana Jones or Ghostbusters or Star Wars or ET etc etc.

Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 8:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

They should do a follow on from ET called ETc.

Author:  devilman [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Zardoz wrote:
They should do a follow on from ET called ETc.


Or set it back in the days of Julius Caesar and call it ET 2 - Brute

Author:  MaliA [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

devilman wrote:
Zardoz wrote:
They should do a follow on from ET called ETc.


Or set it back in the days of Julius Caesar and call it ET 2 - Brute


Good work.

Author:  Grim... [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:12 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

markg wrote:
Can't see this generation of films inspiring a TV series like Stranger Things in twenty odd years time.

You'd only moan if they did anyway.

Author:  markg [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:22 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

Well yeah, it would be a remixed rehash of a series of rebooted rehashes and then they'd make ten more sequels in its reimagined expanded universe of shit.

Author:  Zardoz [ Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: The Movie topic

There'll be a film in 20 years about a group of 4 Pokémon Go players who go out on their Heeleys and witness an alien abduction on their iPhones while trying to catch a Jigglypuff. All the cops in town are too busy shooting black people to listen to their story so they ask their transgender homeopathist for help. All scenes will be saturated with orange and teal and include Bullet-time. Soundtrack supplied by Psy, Mumford & Sons, Skrillex and Ellie Goulding.

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