Be Excellent To Each Other

The 'Doom' movie did at least some FPS style sections, right?

Only for a minute or so, though.

World War Z annoyed the shit out of me. Brad Pitt makes anyone around the world follow his orders just because he happens to be american.

At least the film has the merit of being aware of the concept of "Zombies". No "biters" or "walkers" or "crawlers".

Which it shouldn't be - Zombies are specifically reanimated dead via dubious magic, aren't they? What's in WWZ is people with a weird virus.

It can be argued that the diagnosis of the zombie condition is down to symptoms and not depending on the results of a particular health exam. Like lupus.

Quick, someone hide this topic from AE.

The upset has already been caused.

Dammit, he's here - lock the thread! LOCK THE THREAD, people!

GET BACK TO THE FARMHOUSE KARL

Anyone would think this is the sort of whimsical trivia I get nonsensically worked up about.

Coral, get in the house! Get back in the house, Coral.

Maniac (2012) is another film that is entirely in first person.

At least I think it is entirely first person. I had to switch it off ten minutes in because it made me so uncomfortable.

The first half hour of so of Enter the Void is in first person and it's absolutely glorious.

No it does break out of that after a while, but it maintains it for long enough to make you feel seriously constricted and uneasy.

A good film I thought, although not exactly an easy watch, and it goes to some seriously mad, gruesome places. (One of the scalpings was really unpleasant, not that any of them were, y'know, nice.)

I saw it on Netflix, but I note it's no longer on there now. I've cancelled our Netflix sub but we're still in the paid-for time hence me being able to check. One of the reasons I cancelled is exactly this, films just fucking disappearing off there, including stuff on your watch list, with no warning whatsoever. On a wider note it's why I'm falling out with streaming services entirely, and have decided to go back instead to acquiring permanent copies of films.

Yeah, I rate being so uncomfortable that a couldn't continue to watch it as a success for horror movies. I couldn't exactly pin down what exactly made me have to turn it off, but I think the voyeurism was a big part of it.

Talking of Doom*, the Fantastic Four is a strange and shit movie. The CGI ain't very good and everything looks a bit shit from the Fanastic Four to the main baddie guy. Like, surprisingly dreadful for a film that's clearly had a boat load of money chucked at it. But obviously not enough movie that they could get Jessica Alba in it, AMIRITE? Of course I am, so what we get are a bunch of rejects from House of Cards instead and some La Bouf but worse lookalikey.

It's kinda just about watchable for 50 minutes which is the exact time when, finally, they head off to another dimension to get some magic powers. 5-zero minutes. That's a hell of an amount of time to have a super hero movie sans the super hero powers. Then they get them and they are shown off in a typical "learning to control their powers" montage before the baddie tries to destroy the earth and they rush over to unite their powers to defeat him. They do. The. End. The whole sorry affair is over within 1 hour and 30 minutes. So you've got the majority of the film without any powers and then one sequence where they use those powers and that's the film wrapped up.

I thought it might be longer, I was even anticipating it being longer, but maybe they are just setting up the inevitable sequel. Let's hope not cause this was shit.

They should remake the remakes remake and shove Alba back into it. Only then will I watch it.




Or Myleene Klass.




*He's the baddie in the Fantatic Four, y'see.

Jurassic World: a bit shit.

Holograms, gene splicing and a load of other bullshit futuristic bollocks that I hate these days. I fucking hate holograms in films. Are we supposed to go "OMG amazing?" Fuck your holograms. Just show me the fucking dinosaurs.

Pervert.

Jurassic World. It's like they completely remade the first film again, with less coherence and some superfluous shit tacked on. Not very good IMO.

Avengers AOU. OK, even if it feels slightly like it's been edited down to a time length and fuck the consequences.

Best Laid Plans.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1764198/?re ... lmg_act_19

This was probably the hardest film for me to watch since London to Brighton.

I nearly hit the stop button a good few times, as morally it's just completely fucked up.

Well this looks mental

After watching that, I'm going have to watch Attack on Titan again unlike anyone else on here cause they ain't got no taste.

Film. Of. The. Year. People. Film of the year.

By the dynasty warriors people. Could be interesting.

No.

I watched Strange Magic at the movies for juniors thing (£1.50 a ticket!). It's written by Georgie Lucas and ILM did the visuals. Basically, it's a musical about prejudice, but in a very child-friendly way. It's pretty good fun, with a few good jokes.

However, it looks incredible - like fucking amazing incredible. The lip motion when characters talk is so perfect that it's eerie, and there's so much detail in the foreground and background that there's simply not enough time to look at everything you want to.

A good film - and I'd never even heard of it.

I watched Cabin in the woods this evening.

Terrible.

You're terrible.

But that's beside the point.

Wrong wrong wrong wrong

I agree with what some people have said and everyone is thinking. Cabin in the Woods is great, fool.

I call for an immediate by-election. How can we be moderated by such an obvious wrong-un?

The tag line for the John Wick film is "Don't set him off"? No one else think that's a bit odd and crap?

I do think it's odd and crap. Coincidentally I just watched the film last night and it was decent stuff. Didn't try to overload the narrative with too much pish and was well put together, albeit a bit cliched in places.

The wife watched this with the kids a few months back. They seemed to like it. I believe I fell asleep.

I assume it's a 'wick' joke. It's not a very good one. It is a pretty decent summary of the film though.

So anyway, this "Attack the titan" film. Is it live action or an anime?

Watched 'The Man In The Machine' last night, the new Steve Jobs documentary.

I don't know if it's because I already know all the 'bad stuff' about him, or because it's actually a reasonably balanced film, because if anything I felt better disposed towards Jobs by the end of it, than before I started. (i.e. I felt I understood more what drove him.)

Clearly a man with a deep-seated emotional trauma and you can see how it instructed his entire life thereafter, I don't think he was a monster, but he wasn't a nice chap either.

Live action.

No, anime.

No, live action!

Actually it's both. Not at the same time, mind, there's an anime series that they chopped up and made into a couple of films but there's now a live action film.

AND ITS THE BEST FILM OF THIS GENERATION. The best film since Muppets Christmas Carol. The best film since Aliens. Yes, it's that good. And mental. So mental.

This comes with large caveats:

Do not read up about it.
Do not watch the anime.
Do not read the comics.
Do not even discuss it with anyone anywhere alive or in the spirit realm.
Do not read about it on forums.
Do not even watch the trailer.
Do not digest a single morsel of information about it.

You watch it and then it becomes part of your being. A shard of your very essence. Attack on Titan: more meaningful that any religious tombs.

Also I watched Spy.

Which initially put me off due to an impression that the film was going to be quite mainstream and filled with fat jokes at the expense of the main character who was painted in the trailers as a fat stereotypical cake obsessed woman.

Turns out that I could not have been more wrong. It's hilarious. It's sweary. Early on the phrase "thunder cunt" was uttered. Then Jason Statham rocked up. And he's brilliant. This time he really is Jason Statham playing Jason Statham as "Jason Statham." He's done everything that you've done but better and he'll tell you about it. Turns out however that he's the worse spy ever. I think of his character in Lock, Stock ... as his best comedic performance but he's quite excellent here in a typical comedy cast performance. I'd be quite surprised if this doesn't get him more comedy stuff as he's pretty great. Mind you, if he got a comedy gig he'd need to play Jason Statham and be all typically sweary. I don't think he could pull off a Kindergarten Cop scenario. Or maybe he could. Hell, I'd love to see him to something like this all of a sudden.

And he's not even the best bit in this as the hapless assassin spy.

Anyway, this is great too. Shit title for a movie though.

I'd have gone with "For the love of Dog" or "Dog gone it" "Killing, doggystyle."

Or something dog related. Obv.

Spy is quite possibly my favourite film of the year so far. Rarely have I laughed so much at a film.

You need to go and watch Crank again.

And then, after that, you need to watch Crank again.

He's funny in Crank but hilarious in Lock, Stock... Less is more when it comes to Statham.

No fool.

(Oh god, I've gotten into an argument on the Internet)

NO YOU'RE A CUNT.

(Phew. I got mad internet skills)

*flounces*

Keanu is in John Wick 2, which is out next year.

Woo hoo