Be Excellent To Each Other

Prometheus was shit.

It looks dreadful...

They played it twice in my showing!!!

I've seen it a few times now as I've been to the cinema quite a lot recently and I swear it gets worse every time. I genuinely can't believe anyone involved has looked at it and thought, "Yes, this looks like quality, worthwhile entertainment we've made here. Good job!"

but England will be champions in 200016......

Canetoads. A documentary about the spread of toads across Australia. Sound thrilling? No. But it is quietly excellent. Some great no-nonsense Aussie characters ("It was a bit of an oh-shit moment," says the mayor) and they seem to have had a special effects budget they had to spend, so there are a couple of improbable scenes. 1h 20, doesn't outstay its welcome, highly recommended.

Obviously, I should have gone to see Deadpool instead. But still.

So I watched Studio Ghibli's When Marnie Was There, about a depressed teenage girl called Anna who feels isolated in the world and is shipped off to her auntie's home in the country because her legal guardian (her close family having all died when she was young) couldn't cope with her depression. Anna hates herself and whilst she's aware of her own anxieties and moods she can't help feeling the way she does.

Then she makes friends with Marnie. Marnie has a tragic back story of her own and whilst the ending might be a little too obvious I still welled up afterwards and had a little cry as a really beautiful song drifted by with the ending credits. I don't know what that song was but it really hit me.

Maybe I was just feeling a little sad anyway. I found a picture of an old dog that we had when I was young yesterday. I told her I still loved her and that I was sorry I had forgotten about her for so long. I wondered whether her spirit had thought of about me at all. If she was looking, would she have felt sad when no one thought about her anymore? I didn't mean to forget and I was sorry that I did.

I'll download this tomorrow. Really lovely it is.

I had a look at this trailer to see if it was really as bad as you guys were making out, but it was far worse.

Unsurprisingly, I'm going to watch the shit out of it.

It should be the Co7tage movie

Grimsby cut for a 15, it says here.

http://www.melonfarmers.co.uk/latest.ht ... Crude_6396

They can cut it for whatever rating they want, it can still get to fucking fucking fuck.

I've never seen the whole of Con Air until right this minute.

I've got one question: they meant it to be like that, right?

Surely they didn't just try an make a serious action film and end up with that. No, surely not. Ok, I loved it then.

I saw it at the cinema, and didn't think it was very good.

I'm aware that I'm in the minority, though, and I haven't seen it since. I'll have to watch it again.

Against all odds , Con Air is marvellous.

But, as Sat hints at, I'm not sure it's intentionally marvellous. Nicolas Cage isn't capable of that level of self-parody.

Apart from the last few minutes being incomprehensible



Spoiler tags for a 19 year old film.

In searching for that specific song on Spotify (Priscilla Ahn is there, the song isn't) I discovered a whole genre of solo instrument Ghibli stuff.

https://open.spotify.com/album/3cE9MonYXkjk57YLpUq9ZU

I'm pretty sure that they weren't trying for a gritty thriller type of a deal.

Also I've always been a bit baffled by the Nicolas Cage hate, he's been good in enough good films to get a pass for all the utter shite where he was laughably terrible. He seems pretty self-aware and doesn't give a fuck about making bad films to get paid.

Now y'see, that death sequence was the reason I thought it was intended to be daft as shit.

Cyrus, I'm not bothering with spoiler tags, is killed when he's handcuffed to and rides a fire truck ladder that is driven into an overhead walkway down sunset strip; flies through the walkway to the other side (despite being handcuffed); gets electrocuted by overhead wires whilst falling to the ground; still survives; lands on a conveyor belt in a construction yard that magically appears in Vegas main strip; falls; somehow manages to land with his head squarely underneath a big conpressing machine and gets his head squished.

...The Aristocrats!

::applause::

And! How does the funny black guy end up in the landing gear? How is that even possible?

That's what you're concerned about!? How about dropping his dead body from the sky with a scribbled note on his T-Shirt, landing on a car perfectly intact, and there still being a readable message to get back to the Feds instead of, say, a big pile of goo splattered across the street with no discernible features because IT FELL FROM THE SKY.

AND! Why couldn't he just put the bunny back in the box?

That's what you're concerned about!? How about helicopters chasing (and catching up to) airplanes. CRAY CRAY.

AND! Why do they even have a female guard on a plane full of violent male offenders?

Huh?

C-123K – top speed 367 kph, cruise speed 288kph
AH-1 Cobra – top speed – 277kph, "do not exceed" speed 315kph

So, assuming the transport was fully loaded and not opening the taps to full, it's not completely inconceivable the Cobras could have caught up with it.

But yeah, the whole thing is utter balls.

That's what you're concerned about!? How about John Cusack! Just John Cusack. I mean, come ON.

HANG ON THERE.

What exactly is wrong with John Cusack? He's awesome.

The Bag Man and High Fidelity disagree

He epitomises made-for-TV overacting. FULL. STOP.

AND! Chief O'Brien's car just lands right next to him! What are the odds?

It's perfect explainable as it all takes place in The Holodeck.

HA! Can you imagine that? We make a real life, working, Holodeck and the first thing we do is upload Con Air into it.

Chief O'Brien wouldn't be there. Chief O'Brien had to work.

Uncle Riker will be there instead.

Have you seen the animation?
http://chiefobrienatwork.com/cartoon

Horns: Supernatural thriller with Daniel Radcliffe. It usn't too taxing and a decent enough story. Well worth a watch.

I went to see Triple 9 this afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed it. I wasn't expect a lot from it but it was tense and engaging pretty much from start to finish. Also Kate Winslet is utterly unrecognisable in it. And I mean that literally; I saw her name in the opening credits then forgot about it and watched the entire film with not the slightest idea it was her on screen. I've only just realised it now from seeing the Rotten Tomatoes page a couple of minutes ago and my mind is pretty boggled from it.

Heh, also, seeing Omar from The Wire in drag is pretty amusing.

Wednesday I saw The Revenant. Which was quite good if not amazing.

However I also saw A Bigger Splash which was one of the most agonisingly dull experiences in all the time I've been to the cinema. They go on about The Revenant being uncomfortable but this 2 hours boredom fest was a real slog to get through. It took all my willpower to not walk out of this utter garbage. I felt I had to stick it out though as Mark Kermode managed to somehow sit through all of the Keith Lemon movie and Dirty Grandpa. (I know he's paid to do it but still). On the upside it was nice to see a fair balance between male and female nudity. That's it.

I really wanted to see A Bigger Splash but it seemed to drop out of cinemas really quickly which was disappointing.

Think yourself lucky.

Watched SPECTRE last night. What an utter pile of wank.

I was unimpressed with SPECTRE.



I could go on but as usual Honest Trailers has nailed it so I'm just going to link:



Craig is a good Bond but he's only been in one decent Bond film. Unlucky chap.

Trumbo brilliant, Dad's Army not so much.

I enjoyed both Casino Royale and Skyfall (the latter less so to be fair); though I agree the other ones have been bobbins.

Shock.

It wasn't terrible. It had a good cast and some good moments (especially in the second half of the film), but it wasn't a great film by any stretch of the imagination.

Casino Royale is great. Skyfall is OK but marred by some dodgy moments, like how