Lewie's Lady Drama

Doctor Glyndwr · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 32619

Zardoz wrote:

You're just sending Gaywood aren't you GazChap?

No. I'm his stunt double. I'm only Matt Smith when he gets hurt.

metalangel · **Posted:** Fri Jul 10, 2009 10:29

What about when he takes a shower?

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38467

Matt Smith is Doctor Who, not Doctor G

kalmar · **Posted:** Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:05

MrDavPaz wrote:

Matt Smith is Doctor Who, not Doctor G

Heh.

'Name please?'

'Doctor Richard [mumble]'

'I'm sorry, Doctor Who?'

'Oh, alright then'

:kiss:

metalangel · **Posted:** Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:09

Doctor Richard Mumble is an excellent name for a comic strip character.

DavPaz · **Joined:** 27th Jun, 2008 **Posts:** 38467

MetalAngel wrote:

Doctor Richard Mumble is an excellent name for a comic strip character.

DOC MUMBLES! RUINING THINGS WITH SCIENCE!

Zardoz · **Posted:** Fri Jul 10, 2009 11:10

Doctor Dick :metul:

tossrStu · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 1326

LewieP wrote:

Well, me an new girlie are going to see Matthew Smith (creator of Manic Miner and Jet Set Willy) at the urbis next weekend. I get press access too :hat:

"Press access" on the second date? So it's true; young 'uns these days really are muckier than in my day.

LewieP · **Joined:** 29th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 7600

Met a new pretty lady tonight.

She made me soup tonight after a bar crawl, and is coming round to mine so I can cook her some food tomorrow.

Plissken · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:21

Cook her some food. Fnarr.

Will you be serving it on a plate. Know wharrimean. Eh? Eh? Will you be handing out your best cutlery? Eh? Eh?

Fnarr.

MaliA · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 7:24

Piriton is a cheap and easily available replacement for roofies.

Sir Taxalot · **Joined:** 5th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 4673

I hope she eats meat.

kalmar · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 10:26

I'm sure we'll hear about it here first if she does.

Mr Russell · **Joined:** 6th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 12244

I hope she likes the taste of penis.

Plissken · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 18:54

Does she listen to Radio 2 in the afternoon if you catch my drift?

Will you be re-varnishing the staircase? Eh? Eh?

Does she wear her ears to the left on the Sabbath, if you know what I mean.

Inquiring minds wish to know.

Grim... · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 20:18

Does she enjoy good television? Eh? Eh?
Mark important dates on a calendar, doesn't she, I bet, eh?
Fancy going to eat a good meal at a fancy restaurant? Does she?

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

I think he is going to try and sex her in the witwoo

Plissken · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 21:02

I think he wants to check the balance on her Clubcard.

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

I think he wants to spunk all over her face as she masturbates herself to orgasm with a courgette

Am I doing this right?

parm · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 21:34

Is he going to get her to dress up in a spiderman costume whilst beating him on the bottom with a rolled up copy of Carp Fishing Fortnightly and telling him that mummy is very angry and is not going to let him drink her special milk unless he does exactly what she says?

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Want to watch a romantic comedy with her but then fall asleep Eh, eh?
Want to go out for a few drinks but then get so pissed she has to carry you home Eh, eh?

That's how I do it.

nickachu · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 22:53

He's going to feel her up on the sofa isn't he

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

More likely he is going to:

Check her brakes and,
Alter her PIN number Eh, eh?

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 23:00

Is he going to cum so hard down her throat that spunk flies from her eyes?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 23:10

Is he going to be told by district nurses to stop doing that as it keeps leading to further infections and it never gets a chance to fully heal?

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Only if he's lucky.

Dimrill · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 23:15

Is he going to keep on going until the end, and it bubbles back out like brown foam?

Zardoz · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 23:15

Is he going to be found in a transit van behind Blackpool Argos?

metalangel · **Posted:** Mon Oct 05, 2009 23:19

This disgusts me. You people disgust me. The man's had a rough time, he's in a new relationship, can't he do her so hard up the twat that when he pulls out to finish on her tits he's got her uterus stuck on the end of his cock and his violent ejaculation fires it across the room causing it to plop wetly against the wall and slide stickily down leaving a smeary trail in peace? Tchoh.

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Dimrill wrote:

Is he going to keep on going until the end, and it bubbles back out like brown foam?

Zardoz wrote:

Is he going to be found in a transit van behind Blackpool Argos?

Only if he plays his cards right.

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

MetalAngel wrote:

This disgusts me. You people disgust me. The man's had a rough time, he's in a new relationship, can't he do her so hard up the twat that when he pulls out to finish on her tits he's got her uterus stuck on the end of his cock and his violent ejaculation fires it across the room causing it to plop wetly against the wall and slide stickily down leaving a smeary trail in peace? Tchoh.

Depends if he says "I love you"

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

I don't think we are going to get to meet this one either, unless he invites us all round to mix a milkshake in her womb

Mimi · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 25596

...

...

*wanders back off to safer threads*

ApplePieOfDestiny · **Joined:** 17th Dec, 2008 **Posts:** 8293

Actually, I think he is going to watercool her rig

IFeelAsleep · **Joined:** 15th May, 2009 **Posts:** 368

Riles wrote:

Actually, I think he is going to watercool her rig

Don't be disgusting you filthy man.

LewieP · **Joined:** 29th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 7600

I wish I was even half the player you guys seem to think I am.

tossrStu · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 1326

Come back Mimi! He's only going to cast off purlwise on her purl row.

MaliA · **Posted:** Tue Oct 06, 2009 6:43

Riles wrote:

Actually, I think he is going to watercool her rig

Winner.

kalmar · **Posted:** Tue Oct 06, 2009 7:45

Is he going to invite her to open an account on the beex forum?

nickachu · **Posted:** Tue Oct 06, 2009 12:16

LewieP wrote:

I wish I was even half the player you guys seem to think I am.

So you didn't win then?

sinister agent · **Joined:** 30th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 7046

Classy. Real classy. ?:|

Zardoz · **Posted:** Tue Oct 06, 2009 12:26

I bet he'll take her out for a bite to eat, then go onto a club and have a few drinks before going their separate ways after a tender kiss and arrange to see each other again in a few days, after all they've plenty of time and they'll want to do things at a nice pace.

He'll obviously drink a pint of his own piss dressed as Monroe once he's home alone mind.

LewieP · **Joined:** 29th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 7600

Zardoz is on the ball.

For the first half anyway.

jpglambert · **Joined:** 13th Oct, 2010 **Posts:** 2

Mr Kissyfur wrote:

MaliA wrote:

Barratt wrote:

I think I love this thread now.

http://www.match.com

http://www.mysinglefriend.com

both are good.

Indeed. Just do a search for Occupation: Space Pirate (retrd) and you will find at least one willing and able gentleman who is looking for friendship and something more.

I agree these sites are usually pretty good and you'll be able to find some who above all is local too. I'm not sure how many retired Space Pirates are floating around though!

kalmar · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2010 13:47

*Raises an eyebrow*

That's the first almost coherent, correctly targeted spam I've ever seen. Congratulations.

Zardoz · **Posted:** Wed Oct 13, 2010 13:48

Hi jpglambert!

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

I've truly fallen for a lamp post.

LewieP · **Joined:** 29th Apr, 2008 **Posts:** 7600

Oh fuck off spam.

WTB · **Joined:** 27th Mar, 2008 **Posts:** 14497

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Lewie's Lady Drama
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Lewie's Lady Drama
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