Be Excellent To Each Other

This meme did the rounds on Twitter last week and I quite liked it; see what you can do. A master list of all the entries on Twitter is here.

The idea is to combine a quoation from classic literature with some piece of crass advertising. My entries were:





Some other ones from non-beexers I liked:

"And therefore when her Aunt returned,; Matilda, and the House, were Burned. Pull your finger out - test your smoke alarm."

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Wake up Britain, should have bought Swatch!"

What's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, so make sure you go to http://www.interflora.co.uk for all your Valentine's Day needs.

Out, damn'd spot! out, I say! BANG! AND THE DIRT IS GONE!

"But I make a profit of three and a quarter cents an egg by selling them for four and a quarter cents an egg to the people in Malta I buy them from for seven cents an egg. Of course, I don't make the profit. The syndicate makes the profit. And everybody has a share... at Northern Rock" - Catch 22

Hah, spooky.

"To imagine the future, imagine a boot smashing into a human face forever. Ooh, nice boots! http://www.clarks.com.

"The barge, like a burnished throne burned on the water; the poop was beaten gold, purple the sales and so perfumed that the wind was lovesick with them. Then it hits you - this is way more than a cruise! Royal Caribbean International."

Rodafowa and Lave are made of win.

"Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'"

Buy yer front windows from Safestyle UK, and we'll give yer yer back ones free! I say We'll give yer yer back ones free!

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. You should consider getting tested by the British Dyslexia Association.

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty - that is all
Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know.
Maybe she's born with it - maybe it's Maybelline."

It was a pleasure to burn. Nero: Put your classic books onto disc, print is dead, incinerate it.

Last Night I dreamt I went to Manderly again. Why dream? Book a flight now with Thomas Cook.

"TOM!" No answer. "TOM!" No answer. BT's Tom Baker answering system. So good, you'll try to talk back.

Might have gone with ee cummings there, but still well played, sir. Well played.

In a similar vein:

"It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful. Talk to Frank."

"I am a sick man. I am a spiteful man. I think there is something wrong with my liver. That's why I'm subscribing to BUPA!"

'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Now available in handy compact form'

"Cock off, fagballs"

To be or not to Be unlimited.

"The King is Dead, Long Live the King, WITH CALGON!"

"I taste a liquor never brewed,
From tankards scooped in pearl;
Not all the vats upon the Rhine
Yield such an alcohol!

This is M&S liquor."

"I grow old! I grow old!
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled!
Unless I take advantage the great menswear bargains available in the BHS winter sale."

I was looking to find some quotes for this, so where better than:
classiclit.about.com