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 Post subject: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 4:37 pm 
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This meme did the rounds on Twitter last week and I quite liked it; see what you can do. A master list of all the entries on Twitter is here.

The idea is to combine a quoation from classic literature with some piece of crass advertising. My entries were:

Quote:
"He was my North, my South, my East, my West. I'd have been lost without my TomTom."

Quote:
"Is this a dagger I see before me... I should have gone to Specsavers."

Quote:
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but Charles Darnay's savings had a great rate from Natwest Bank."


Some other ones from non-beexers I liked:
Quote:
"Into the valley of Death. Rode the six hundred. In the comfort and safety of their 2009 Volvo S60."

Quote:
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man of fortune must be in want of a wife, so tune in to 'The Bachelor.'"

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 4:55 pm 
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"And therefore when her Aunt returned,; Matilda, and the House, were Burned. Pull your finger out - test your smoke alarm."

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Grim... just fucking dominated that game from day one.
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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:14 pm 
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"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Wake up Britain, should have bought Swatch!"

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:15 pm 
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L'Idiot

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What's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, so make sure you go to http://www.interflora.co.uk for all your Valentine's Day needs.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:18 pm 
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Out, damn'd spot! out, I say! BANG! AND THE DIRT IS GONE!


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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:21 pm 
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I forgot about this - how vain

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"But I make a profit of three and a quarter cents an egg by selling them for four and a quarter cents an egg to the people in Malta I buy them from for seven cents an egg. Of course, I don't make the profit. The syndicate makes the profit. And everybody has a share... at Northern Rock" - Catch 22

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The Rev Owen wrote:
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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:21 pm 
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nervouspete wrote:
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Wake up Britain, should have bought Swatch!"
Hah, spooky.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:24 pm 
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"To imagine the future, imagine a boot smashing into a human face forever. Ooh, nice boots! http://www.clarks.com.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:28 pm 
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"The barge, like a burnished throne burned on the water; the poop was beaten gold, purple the sales and so perfumed that the wind was lovesick with them. Then it hits you - this is way more than a cruise! Royal Caribbean International."

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:30 pm 
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Rodafowa and Lave are made of win.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:35 pm 
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Glomlwwmphrrrrrw!!!

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"Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'"

Buy yer front windows from Safestyle UK, and we'll give yer yer back ones free! I say We'll give yer yer back ones free!

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:39 pm 
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Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. You should consider getting tested by the British Dyslexia Association.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:39 pm 
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"Beauty is truth, truth beauty - that is all
Ye know on Earth, and all ye need to know.
Maybe she's born with it - maybe it's Maybelline."

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 5:39 pm 
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It was a pleasure to burn. Nero: Put your classic books onto disc, print is dead, incinerate it.

Last Night I dreamt I went to Manderly again. Why dream? Book a flight now with Thomas Cook.

"TOM!" No answer. "TOM!" No answer. BT's Tom Baker answering system. So good, you'll try to talk back.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:09 pm 
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Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. You should consider getting tested by the British Dyslexia Association.

:D

Might have gone with ee cummings there, but still well played, sir. Well played.

In a similar vein:

"It seemed to be a sort of monster, or symbol representing a monster, of a form which only a diseased fancy could conceive. If I say that my somewhat extravagant imagination yielded simultaneous pictures of an octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature, I shall not be unfaithful to the spirit of the thing. A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque and scaly body with rudimentary wings; but it was the general outline of the whole which made it most shockingly frightful. Talk to Frank."

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:10 pm 
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4thDimension wrote:
Out, damn'd spot! out, I say! BANG! AND THE DIRT IS GONE!

:DD

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:14 pm 
Running this fucking operation

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"I am a sick man. I am a spiteful man. I think there is something wrong with my liver. That's why I'm subscribing to BUPA!"


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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:46 pm 
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'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Now available in handy compact form'


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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 10:31 pm 
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"Cock off, fagballs"

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:00 pm 
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Refined in England

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To be or not to Be unlimited.

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 9:46 am 
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Excellent Member

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"The King is Dead, Long Live the King, WITH CALGON!"


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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 4:54 pm 
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"I taste a liquor never brewed,
From tankards scooped in pearl;
Not all the vats upon the Rhine
Yield such an alcohol!

This is M&S liquor."

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:01 pm 
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"I grow old! I grow old!
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled!
Unless I take advantage the great menswear bargains available in the BHS winter sale."

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 Post subject: Re: Sponsored Literature
New postPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 6:51 pm 
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Stunner! Stunner!

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I was looking to find some quotes for this, so where better than:
classiclit.about.com

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