Be Excellent To Each Other

Saw this in Tesco today, and thought it looked fairly awesome, plot wise. Bunch of mercenaries in eastern Europe during some unnamed war in Modern Day Europe stumble across a Nazi bunker full of what are, I gather from the back of the box, zombie mutant ninja Nazi dudes resulting from some Nazi experiments back in WW2.

Fuck me but that's the best plot synopsis I've read in a while. So I'm suspecting I can only be disappointed (q.v. The Bunker). Someone please tell me it's the earth shattering awesomes it looked like it should be?

I read your synopsis and was about to reply saying what I thought of it, because I assumed you meant The Bunker. Given that it appears to be the same film.

The Bunker was set in WW2, and it turned out there wasn't actually anything in the Bunker and it was just their imaginations. There were no mutant ninja Nazis, thus being rubbish. This one has a horde of mutant Nazis who are waking up and going to take over the world, apparently. Thus being solid awesome.

It's about time we had another addition to the Nazi Zombie sub-genre. My Zombie Lake and Shockwaves DVDs are almost worn through.

I think Empire gave this a middling review. Ah, yes, 3/5.

Yes, but Empire had a shit Top 500. I want Bezzie Views.

I'm not sure how that Empire reviewer could consider himself at all qualified to review films, if he can find it in himself to follow any review containing the words "Zombie Nazis" with a "3/5".

Which was mostly from 10,000 readers; hardly Empire's fault what came out where, surely?

If they attract that sort of reader it says a lot about the mag though, eh?

Yeah, yeah.

Look - ZOMBIE NAZIS.

Yes, I enjoyed that and that other one, Deathwatch.

Wasn't it 10,000 readers, 20 critics, and a drunk chicken or something?

Which means they read what the readers thought, had a good laugh, then used the average rankings of the critics and the chicken for the final result.

I preferred Deathwatch, which was the one in the WW1 trench, and had TV's Kris Marshall having a wank. As well as proper zombie Germans and ghosts and stuff.

And people being eaten by barbed wire.

And Gollum going bonkers.

Get that Outpost and send me a copy please. There could be an SS cardy in it for you.

Sounds like Claudia Schiffer's fanny.

Yes, that too. It was veh good. Actually, come to think of it, I only saw it half way through as I got scaredy as I was on my own and it was 2am. was tired and had to take it back to Blockbusters.

I want to watch it again now.

Ah - it gets weaker towards the end, as they just start wandering about lost in the fog.

Outpost was OK. A few decent scares in it, I'd recommend it. I saw it a while back, and have forgotten most of it now.

It's mostly set in darkly lit corridors, and apart from a couple of scenes you'll only see about 5 zombie nazi's in any scene, so its not a zulu like scale of army types fighting endless waves of zombies, if that's what your after.

I'll wait for RE5 for my Zulu Zombie fix thanks.

How good is the zombage? Are we talking blue faces, clay lumps superglued on face, or actual decent effects?

I'm guessing the film's all pretty dark and badly lit.

Does An Man have his mesentery ripped out while going "Ooh!.... Oh my word!.... OOF!... Dang!.... Golly!..... Double dang!.... Now come on!..... Ouchies!" ?

Well, I've not seen it, but I hope so.

Hopefully Sean Pertwee will also be in it going "eurgh, sausages!"

I wonder if there's a nice wanking scene?

Which is best - zombie Nazis or vampire Nazis? Or maybe a battle between zombie Nazis and skeleton Romans. Or ghost Napoleonic soldiers against communist werewolves.

Alien ancient Egyptians would kick all their arses.

Ninja Zombies fighting Robot Pirates.

You're just being silly, now.

Thanks for that.

/strikes The Bunker from the "to watch" list.

Yeah, Chris - you dick.

Different film, mate.

Um.

Also, I think I'm probably wrong about that, now I try to recall what happened.

Out.

Did anyone ever watch Doomsday? That's another one that looks good - zombie Scotsmen in a Post Apocalyptic Worlde Gone Madde

Really? How does it end?

Devolution.

I don't know. I could make some half-remembered shit up, but I haven't watched it.

I saw it. I thought it was fucking shit. YMMV, of course, especially if you're fond of cheesy, OTT 80s-influenced post-apocalyptic type films.

With everyone getting to fucking fuck?

'Ave a banana.

Ah. Well. That's probably a yes, then.

Are there any zombie nazis in it?

I loved Doomsday.

It was a bit Mad Max, a bit Gladiator, a bit Lord of the Rings, a bit 28 Days Later, a bit Brain Dead and a lot awesome.

Sold!

Zombie Nazis obviously. Everyone knows that Vampires are shite, beloved only by those who believe Ann Rice novels are proper literature and get faintly orgasmic over vampire lust.

So did I. Rhona Mitra is fine.

OH LOOK A SPOILER TAG

I believe "entertaining shite" is the accepted term for films like Outpost.

It does look pretty good though considering it had a budget of approximately tuppence ha'penny.

Like those spoiler tags in the Watchmen thread, you mean?

Is that the one that says SPOILERS in the subtitle?

Edit -- also, Watchmen is 23 years old. SPOILIER! KONG DIES AT THE END!

Alsoalso:

I haven't read it.

When's the cut off, then? As The Bunker is about 8 years old. That's ancient, man.

I love the story behind the filming of Zombie Lake. Original director Jess Franco vanished without any explanation just as they were about to shoot, so Eurocine roped in a rather bemused Jean Rollin to take over, the day before cameras rolled, without reading the script or knowing anything other than it had zombies in it.

Franco eventually returned to make the fuckawful Oasis of the Zombies. Hurrah!

I haven't actually seen Zombie Lake yet, I thought anything that even the king of mincing vampire garbage considered worthless was going to be some completely dull disaster of a film. To the exploit-o-tron!

Coincidentally, I just seen outpost in Woolies when I was out today, before even seeing mention of this thread, and was tempted to get it. But I didn't. Bah.

Oasis.. is terrible, I agree. I'd actually sort of forgotten it existed. *covers eye when looking through "o" on DVD shelf*