Be Excellent To Each Other

And, you know, party on. Dude.

All times are UTC [ DST ]




Reply to topic  [ 32 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:43 
User avatar
I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5979
On TV there are two celebrity chefs.

BUT WAIT: They are Conjoined twins (aka Siamese twins to Non-PC peeps). They share their internal organs and under no circumstances can they be separated. If one dies, the other dies. They can move 1 arm and 1 leg each.

One day, in a fit of rage Twin A, picks up a frying pan on Live TV in front of millions (and a studio audience) and knocks out Twin B, then kills their celebrity guest to death.

The police arrive and arrest Twin A. He goes to trial and is found guilty. How do they punish him?

_________________
Curiosity wrote:
The Rev Owen wrote:
Is there a way to summon lave?

Faith schools, scientologists and 2-D platform games.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:44 
User avatar
UltraMod

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 55715
Location: California
Is the answer "Ainsley Harriot"?

_________________
I am currently under construction.
Thank you for your patience.


Image


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:45 
User avatar
Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
Lethal injection.

_________________
Washing Machine: Fine. Kettle: Needs De-scaling. Shower: Brand new. Boiler: Fine.
Archimedes Hotdog Rhubarb Niner Zero Niner.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:47 
User avatar

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 14497
Why is Twin B guilty? He was knocked out.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:48 
User avatar
Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
Birmingham serious crime squad in action!

_________________
Washing Machine: Fine. Kettle: Needs De-scaling. Shower: Brand new. Boiler: Fine.
Archimedes Hotdog Rhubarb Niner Zero Niner.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:49 
User avatar
I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5979
Whoops I mean twin A. The murderer is arrested, the knocked out one is innocent.

_________________
Curiosity wrote:
The Rev Owen wrote:
Is there a way to summon lave?

Faith schools, scientologists and 2-D platform games.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:51 
User avatar
Rakish Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 480
Location: Falkirk/Swindon
Hang twin A.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:51 
User avatar
Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
Well those two twins Ang and Eng (spelling?) were in a similar situation. One got drunk and attacked a police officer, but he was pardoned because to keep the other in custody would be considered a miscarriage of justice.

_________________
Washing Machine: Fine. Kettle: Needs De-scaling. Shower: Brand new. Boiler: Fine.
Archimedes Hotdog Rhubarb Niner Zero Niner.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:52 
User avatar

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 14497
Give us the answer, it's easier that way. Also, I can then get on with my day.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:56 
User avatar
I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5979
There isn't an answer. Mwa Ha ha. I just think about it daily.

I'm basically waiting till they ask me to make a columbo episode about it.

_________________
Curiosity wrote:
The Rev Owen wrote:
Is there a way to summon lave?

Faith schools, scientologists and 2-D platform games.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 17:58 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Columbo would just say that they're both involved, as the knocked-out twin agreed to have himself knocked out for plausable deniability in order to enact the pardonable/miscarraige of justice clause as noted above.

It's like that Columbo where the twins murdered the rich uncle, and then blamed each other for the crime which bamboozled Columbo until he realised they both did it. Ha!

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:00 
User avatar
Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
So you're saying that when the one twin violently knocks the other out, he's somehow able to coax someone close enough to stab them to death using his one good hand? "closerrrrrr.... heecccchhh... come closer" *paws at studio guest*

And they're chefs, you say? Blimey.

_________________
Washing Machine: Fine. Kettle: Needs De-scaling. Shower: Brand new. Boiler: Fine.
Archimedes Hotdog Rhubarb Niner Zero Niner.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:00 
User avatar
Rakish Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 480
Location: Falkirk/Swindon
Lave wrote:
There isn't an answer. Mwa Ha ha. I just think about it daily.

I'm basically waiting till they ask me to make a columbo episode about it.


But the case has been solved, Twin A did it.

It would best suit an episode of Judge John Deed.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:02 
User avatar
Kindly deeds done for free

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 1326
ComicalGnomes wrote:
It's like that Columbo where the twins murdered the rich uncle, and then blamed each other for the crime which bamboozled Columbo until he realised they both did it. Ha!


Spoiler tags please!

MR ANGRY (AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?) FACE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:02 
User avatar
I forgot about this - how vain

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5979
Very, very true KevR. I FEEL A FOOL.

_________________
Curiosity wrote:
The Rev Owen wrote:
Is there a way to summon lave?

Faith schools, scientologists and 2-D platform games.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:02 
User avatar
Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
It's because of the fear of situations like this that there's always a trained tranquiliser marksman on cookery programmes. Next time you watch Ready Steady Cook, look for the gun barrel tip that occasionally drifts into view for a split second.

_________________
Washing Machine: Fine. Kettle: Needs De-scaling. Shower: Brand new. Boiler: Fine.
Archimedes Hotdog Rhubarb Niner Zero Niner.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:28 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 124
ComicalGnomes wrote:
It's like that Columbo where the twins murdered the rich uncle, and then blamed each other for the crime which bamboozled Columbo until he realised they both did it. Ha!

That was a great one. My favourite is still Donald Pleasance and his vineyard, though.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:33 
User avatar
Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10910
Location: Devon
I really like the following ones:

The one where he gets done for drink driving as his alibi
The one with Patrick McGoohan
The one with the Magician
The one with the american football team (might be the McGoohan one thinking about it)

Malc

_________________
Where's the Kaboom? I was expecting an Earth shattering Kaboom!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:39 
User avatar
Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 6496
They do nothing, except putting a note in a safety deposit box, only to be opened when time travel is invented. The note gives instruction to go back in time, get the twins, take them to a point where they can grow all the extra organs and legs and things to successfully split them in two, perform the operation so that they have two separate people, then take them back to the day after the trial, where the guilty Twin A will be shot, leaving Twin B to do as he pleases.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 18:41 
User avatar
What-ho, chaps!

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 2138
You'd think Twin B would be the one doing the knocking out. After all, he's got that big mallet he carries around.

_________________
[www.mrdictionary.net]


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 19:12 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 124
Spinglo Sponglo! wrote:
The one where he gets done for drink driving as his alibi
The one with Patrick McGoohan
The one with the Magician
The one with the american football team (might be the McGoohan one thinking about it)

Columbofax! The drink driving alibi / magician ones both featured Jack Cassidy as the murderer.

Patrick McGoohan was the murderer in four different episodes. The American Football one wasn't one of them (Robert Culp was the naughty killer-bloke in that one).


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 19:20 
User avatar
Heavy Metal Tough Guy

Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 6496
I remember an excellent Columbo where the murdered set up a record player that played gunshot sounds, and then the arm knocked a pile of books on the floor to fool people into thinking that was the murder and a body falling, when really it had happened earlier.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 19:35 
User avatar
Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Stuart Ashen wrote:
That was a great one. My favourite is still Donald Pleasance and his vineyard, though.

As evidenced by Liquid Filth :D

Quote:
I remember an excellent Columbo where the murdered set up a record player that played gunshot sounds, and then the arm knocked a pile of books on the floor to fool people into thinking that was the murder and a body falling, when really it had happened earlier.

Yeah, that was the one with the genius savant-type club. Bit of an odd one. The chess episode remains a classic for me.

_________________
Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 19:36 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 124
Squirt wrote:
I remember an excellent Columbo where the murdered set up a record player that played gunshot sounds, and then the arm knocked a pile of books on the floor to fool people into thinking that was the murder and a body falling, when really it had happened earlier.

The Bye Bye Sky High IQ Murder Case. Possibly the oddest title for a TV show ever.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 20:01 
User avatar
Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10910
Location: Devon
Was it a columbo episode where someone let a cigarette go out in ash tray in an attempt to fake someone one being there, but Columbo (I presume) noticed that there was no tar stain on the filter.

That was pretty good too.

Malc

_________________
Where's the Kaboom? I was expecting an Earth shattering Kaboom!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 20:05 
User avatar
What-ho, chaps!

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 2138
What's your show called, Doc?

_________________
[www.mrdictionary.net]


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 20:12 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 124
MrD wrote:
What's your show called, Doc?

The pilot we're working on? No name as yet.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 20:28 
User avatar
What-ho, chaps!

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 2138
That's a strange name.

_________________
[www.mrdictionary.net]


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 22:20 
User avatar
Sitting balls-back folder

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10065
It's all in the intonation.

No Name... Yet.

MR ONE EYE NOT QUITE LOOKING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FACE


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 0:51 
SupaMod
User avatar
Est. 1978

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 69502
Location: Your Mum
Lave wrote:
They are Conjoined twins (aka Siamese twins to Non-PC peeps).

Fucking Mac users.

_________________
Grim... wrote:
I wish Craster had left some girls for the rest of us.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 1:29 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5318
LOL


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Riddle me this: How do I bring Justice?!?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:14 
User avatar
baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
Spinglo Sponglo! wrote:
The one with the american football team


That is indeed an excellent one! Mad soundtrack too.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic  [ 32 posts ] 

All times are UTC [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Kern and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search within this thread:
You are using the 'Ted' forum. Bill doesn't really exist any more. Bogus!
Want to help out with the hosting / advertising costs? That's very nice of you.
Are you on a mobile phone? Try http://beex.co.uk/m/
RIP, Owen. RIP, MrC.

Powered by a very Grim... version of phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.