Be Excellent To Each Other

I just got a filthy message from an ex girlfriend, to which I, naturally, replied. Turns out that her new boyfriend is called Matt and she got us mixed up. Score!

What did you send back?

I hope it was "You turned me gay."

ha, my psycho ex tried this once. 'Accidentally' sent me a rude text (after the police had told her not to contact me) and then texted me again to apologise for the 'mix up', as it was meant to go to her (non-existant) new boyfriend.

Nice try, bitch, but no cigar.

Pics or it didn't happen.

His camera is on his phone. OH THE PARADOX.

Type it out here please!

Also, she's not my sister, is she? She's had two boyfriends called Matt (which is also my name - bleurgh).

Plus reply.

Snigger.

Sracist.

Ssillyhead.

The last time I got drunk (at least 7 years ago now) my friends at the time suggested I play "text roulette", where you type out an abusive text message and then choose a contact to send it to at random by closing your eyes and operating the menu controls.

This led to me sending one of my college lecturers a text that read: "I'm gonna fuck you up the ass so hard you'll be bleeding buttermilk for a week."

I know someone who would do this by accidentally sending her ex phone messages saying 'I'm just phoning to say how much I am thinking of you and that I love you', or smutty phone messages - she always managed to accidentally dial her ex instead of her imaginary new boyfriend. She'd often pretend to be drunk whilst doing this.

I really can't stand people like that.

Gaz - that's... I don't know - brave? Stupid? What if it had been your dad?

He'd have got one back saying "Not again son"

Why do you think that was the last time I got drunk?

A few years ago on holiday at a friend's place in Spain I received numerous text messages from a girl who I didn't know, and it quickly became quite clear that they were heartfelt responses to some cad who was dumping her by text. Quite why they were coming to me as well as the intended recipient (I assumed this to be the case as it was one side of a conversation) I don't know as I have no idea who it was to this day.

Delete them. If your missus finds them she'll never believe it was a mistake and proving you're not having an affair is VERY hard.

I had a text from someone the other week saying "Hi gorgeous, it's [girl's name] from Yates's on Saturday night - you were amazing. Fancy meeting up to do it again?"

I obviously texted back saying that she had the wrong number, and I got a fairly forlorn "ok, thnks" back. Clearly he didn't think as much of her...

The reply was dull, as I knew that I hadn't had bits of me in bits of her last night.
I fear for work people, so I am going to apply the swearing filter.



Yes. Hands.

*weather = wet

Ah. She was the first person I told, you see.

DOUBLE BLUFF
EDIT - also - excellently filthy woman.

She really, really was/is. And she had red hair. And freckly boobs*.

*Am I the only one that thinks freckly boobs are a good thing?

Good for you, Grim...

Hang on - how young were you two then? I thought you and Mrs Grim got together at school?

I got the following text this morning, no idea who it was from.



Boring.

Freckles are the best.

Indeed we did. We split up and got back together a lot, too.

I have freckles. My web name thing was always 'Freckle' because of it, the only place I never use that was on WoS because I didn't want people guessing I was a girl.

Yes, The Bouncing Hedgehog is far more masculine.

I have freckles. Not kvlt, freckles.

I didn't think it was either feminine or masculine - I was going for something neutral, actually. I fail.

Well, Freckle doesn't really shout "GIRL" at me, which is kind of the point I was going for.

Not freckles, you fools - freckly boobs.

Really? hmm... shows how much I know then I thought Freckle was a bit girlie, obviously I have no sense of these things.

Freckles=Evangeline Lilly=very much a girl.

Freckles are lovely, freckly boobs also. I'm a particular fan of freckly shoulders, myself.

I accidentally texted some dirty talk to my mum. It was so embarrassing!

It was actually intended for my father.

If you look closely you can see the freckles on my avatar, also.

Have you seen Tropic Thunder yet, Mimi? If not, you should. Ben Stiller also haz panda hat of greatness in that

Does he? I wonder if it is the same as mine!?

I do want to see that film - I remember them talking about it on Jonathan Ross a year or so ago and I made a mental note ot watch it. Maybe I can drag Craig along to see it next week

Well that got better and better as my brain decoded it

I met up with a girl I'd been seeing to end things with her. She didn't take it all that well and was a bit tearful (hey, who can blame her?), but eventually we went our separate ways and I met my mates in the pub. While there, I thought I'd send a text to another mate I was due to see the following evening. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was along the lines of 'Hey, I'm a free man again at last, can't wait to go out on the pull tomorrow night!'. You can guess who I accidentally sent it to, of course. I realised my mistake as soon as I'd pressed send and spent a few desperate moments trying to pull the back off of the phone to remove the battery, but to no avail

Yes, this. Lady Zio has freckles and for some reason refuses to believe me when I tell her they're the cutest thing ever.

That was probably because it was semi-about her, and her name was in your subconcious when you realised what you were doing. I had a very nasty message about me, which was supposed to be sent to my sister, sent to my phone last week. I think it was because the person was thinking of my name when they typed it that they sent it to me.