Be Excellent To Each Other

I don't know what I was doing. The bus stop wasn't far from my mothers house, and it was on the North Circular. As the 112 pulled up and stepped on board I realise I never had an shoes on (I had socks on). I didn't want to go back and the bus stop was equally close to my own flat at the other end of the line where I had plenty of shoes.

Nobody ever mentioned my shoes, though, and they wouldn't have fitted anyone else as they all have huge feet and I am a size 5.

@ Ange: He'll thank you for that story!

In the days when stag do's really were held the day before the wedding, my uncle and his friends got rather drunk. In the middle of the night my uncle also wee'd in the wrong place - he opened up the wardrobe and urinated all over his and the best man's wedding suits. In the days before taste the suits were a light grey colour. You can still see the water marks all over them in the photos now.

Technically, it's the salt after the water evaporates....