Be Excellent To Each Other

Dawn Porter is doing another series of hilariously wacky things for ITV. Last time, if I recall, she tried to get to size 0, then tried to be a lesbian, then tried to find a man, then tried to understand what babies are.

Now she's back doing a thing about free love. Mostly it's her doing a lot of exposition while simultaneously threatening to get her tits out, which seems to be the basis of interest. She spacks around a lot and might eventually get nekkid.

What do we think of this woman in general? The first of her things I watched, I thought she was alright, but now I watch it more to remind myself why I hate people, including her. She gets more annoying the more you watch. And she might get her tits out in this one.

Never heard of her before, but if there's a possibility for tits I'm all ears.

Err... eyes.

I saw a bit of the one where she was looknig for a bloke, and it struck me as not only pointless, which is excusable, but unfunny, devoid of any actual insight and generally not interesting. And she seemed utterly unremarkable, and I could name five women off the top of my head who are just as attractive and would likely be more entertaining to watch, too.

I've not heard of her.


Is that her? Isn't she also off of one of the soaps?

I keep thinking I quite like her, then reality hits me like a bus, and I realise I'm not bothered either way.

She is pretty much the ultimate "Look at me! Please look at me!" on telly.

She's going to be ubiquitous for the next few years now, isn't she? Gnuh.

Someone recently told Mrs Squirt that she looks like Dawn Porter. I wasn't sure who she was, and now I'm not certain if it was a compliment or not.

On the plus side, I can skip the hour of watching ITV and just look at my girlfriends boobs.

Who careas about the content? Dawn Porter is all about the high concept. Slightly saucy popsie inevstigatively journalates and we get to see her in her jim-jams emoting every couple of scenes. The episode titles alone are comedy gold for the upcoming series:

* Dawn't Feed The Animal, Dawn undergoes extreme dieting in the name of journalism
* Dawn of the Dump, a look at the negative impact of the "Throw-away culture" on the environment
* Dawn Patrol, a first-hand experience of life as a private in the United States Marine Corps
* Dawn in the USA, Dawn attempts to live an extravagant LA lifestyle
* Red Dawn, Dawn investigates the growing number of teenage gangs and their effects on the surrounding communities
* Dawn of the Deaf, Dawn steps into the shoes of a deaf person and discovers how their disability is detrimental to their role in society

All good honest car-crash dumbass telly, if I'm sat out the back having a smoke, there's nothing better than to get something like this up on iplayer and just utterly relax one's brain at the comedy of it all.

Here's some she made earlier:

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=X0tZTQwHVec


And, as the comments say:



Lulz, etc.

The lesbian one beggered belief, really. "I'm going to see if I can turn into a lesbian by hanging out with lesbians. Oh, I've had a few lesbian encounters in the past but that shouldn't bias the experiment, eh lads"

The FHM articles are writing themselves, really.

Oh, the things she does so we don't have to.

The program and concept sound hateful.

The 'size zero' one was the first I saw, and thought it was an one-off, and so I thought there might be something to her. Turns out there's not. All she does is go on about how she's been single for years and once had a threesome. By 'single', I don't mean celibate, from the sounds of her she's gobbling cock* on a weekly basis.



* phrase included to make me laugh

The full phrase is "gobbling yards of cock".

Or "gobbling furlongs of Yardie cock", depending.

How many furlongs per two weeks?

That depends - is she shooting a titilating faux-lesbian show in those two weeks?

Probably.

She did actually snog a lesbian or two during the show I think, but as far as I know, no muff diving*.


*teeheeeeeee

Everyone involved in this sort of thing must know it's just titillation. Why not just call it "Some Bird Gets Her Baps Out", and leave it as that? Why bother try to pass it off as journalism?

x 100

This show sounds like the poorer, crapper, less talented cousin of Daisy Does America.

No no no - "Some Bird *Might* Get Her Baps Out, But No Guarantees. Honestly, Just Watch Some Porn Instead."

But that probably wouldn't fit on the page in the TV Guide, of course.