Be Excellent To Each Other

Not sure why I'm spoilering this... shame, I guess.

Blimey, I won't need counselling if I keep spilling the beans on here. Stu was right about this place being Emo Central!

I have seen irrefutable evidence that this is the case, yes.

At major fucking risk of sounding like an utter cunt here:

Are you abosfuckinglutel100%SURE that it is yours.

This is terribly important right now. And get that sorted, stat.

Also, I don't think you're a twat at all. In my mind, you're a good decent guy, and I'm sure that themost excellent Mrs Zio will come around to that soonest.

People make mistakes, it happens.

Chill out, brah.

EDIT, Fuck you, Mr Chris, I aws being human for a moment there.

I would say,

Hey, I can post a picture of Ross from Friends shouting "WE WERE ON A BREAK" if it'll help, mali.

Admittedly, it was my first thought, and I had a slight giggle to myself over it.

I have indeed considered having all necessary tests done, but I have no real reason to think that it isn't mine. The mother-to-be has always been somewhat manipulative, which is one of the reasons I left her in the first place, but I think that having another gentleman supply the goods might be one psycho move too far for her.

I'm more worried about my dear old parents at the moment TBH. My dad really liked the slightly-psycho-ex in question and didn't speak to me for three months when we broke up. Considering I had to move in with them as a result of that, it made things very difficult. My brother assures me that, having briefly spoken to my Dad, this won't be the case this time, but still. I can't see them being exactly pleased for me.

I don't ever like to speak ill of anyone, but I have developed a rather passionate dislike for my ex after this. I did a lot for her after we broke up that I didn't need to, to make sure she got to keep the flat we shared and to make sure she came out of it all alright. It's left me in chronic debt and it put so much strain on the relationship I had afterwards that it was a primary reason why myself and the Current Lady Zio broke up. We got back together literally three weeks ago as we felt confident we could try again without the previous baggage dragging us down!

O TEH IRONIES!!111!!1

I bolded the important parts, in case you are in any doubt about seeing the wood for the trees....

This is not a no-win situtaion. Dust will settle and you'll find you can work this out peacefully without making your life a misery or abandonining anyone, or tying yourself to a mental bastard. If you get tied to anything, it's to the sprog, not the ex. Just get those feelings of guilt out - separate what needs to be done from what you feel, if you can. Guilt can cripple a person wether it's called for or not. Right now it's useless - you know you screwed up, and your lady is standing by you. You can work that out. As for the kid, don't feel guilty. These things happen.

It's obvious you care and want to do what's right just from how much it's messing you up. You don't have to beat yourself up to prove it, least of all over imagined future mistakes. And you're already trying to do the right thing by going for counselling so your problems won't get in the way so much.

Just keep going. Don't think of her as an ex - think of her as a surrogate if it helps - she's an adult and can take care of herself, and this is every bit as much her fault as it is yours (and I'm inclined to say more so given her manipulative nature and a fair bit of experience with some quite messed up women). All you're obliged to do is try to help the kid out. And that's easy for at least the next few months.

Well, I told the folks this evening and haven't been shown the door or screamed at. This is all good. In fact, they were very, very good about it all. This alone feels like a very major weight has lifted.

Also: once again this forum has proven itself to be beyond mere excellence, even if it is filled with the flotsam and jetsam of the 'Forum (previously) Most Full Of Cunts'. Thank you all!