Be Excellent To Each Other

I live somewhere on the first floor of a two-story block of flats. We have a communal garden which my downstairs neighbours often use for family get-togethers. The men are in the flat below, and a congreagtion of about 30 women are in the garden and have for teh last twenty minutes or so been playing a game that seems to consist only of screaming as loudly as possible.

I will pay an angry person all of my money* to arrive here with a crossbow.




(*May be £7.23p)

It's not bothering me too much as I have moved to the other side of the flat where it is quieter, but one of my neighbours is very ill at the moment, he is old and frail and I dare say he's not enjoying it too much, especially as the bedrooms all overlook the garden. i saw his son lean out and shut the windows with a god 'bang!' before, but no hint taken... Even his cat has come to take shelter from the racket in my flat. We are playing with wool, and she has unravelled my mitten

I think it's time to start work on my sledgehammer cannon.

Foreigners with no idea of common courtesy.

EDIT: Or respect for hammer cannons.

I love your little drawings, CG

I do think it is a clash of cultures a lot of the time. The people in the flat below seem to 'claim' all communal areas as their own (I have spoken before of the chairs left in the downstairs hallway so nobody can get out of the door, how they use the area for their own household waste, and very often they will hold huge gatherings in the garden (in the summer it is often twice a week or more, which makes the rest of the residents feel unwelcome a lot of the time).

I do not mind so much but for the noise. It just seems selfish and unthoughtful.

Wanna swap Mimi? I'd be more than happy to.

I probably shouldn't be saying this on here, what with being the double-headed beast of a forum newbie and an old bastard to boot, but I need to get it off my chest and there's no-one else available right this minute, so apologies in advance, I know it's not appropriate so sorry OK?

I posted on WOS at the beginning of the year with a neighbour problem - constant noise, day and night, thanks to a mentally ill woman above us, ten months of hell after which we had to move. But the frustrating thing was that the noise was thumping and stamping that only affected us. We liked our old flat lots, we didn't want to move, but thanks to lots of help from the family we are now here, in a new flat.

We bent over backwards before moving to make sure it was a quiet house, talked to all the neighbours.....it seemed like paradise - the flat next door was a holiday home as was/is the one below and to the left. So we were especially careful about the flat directly below us, but the tenant was a really nice guy, early 20s but totally reasonable and understanding about our previous situation.

So we bought the place, and one week later Ms Party moved in.....she lives directly below us, and we are now hearing exactly the thumps and crashes in the middle of the night that we had at the old place. And whoopie, thanks to the configuration of the flats here - once again it only seems to affect us.

Yes, we are over-sensitive to noise after the last year, but still it seems unbelievable - it's like God (who I don't believe in btw religion fans) is taking the piss in a big way.

I'm not really looking for help or suggestions, just dispairing and close to tears, so forgive the saddo post.

I remember the problems you were having in the old place. What a pain in the backside.

have you spoken to the new neighbour about this? I have tried speaking to mine but they:

a) Don' speak English
b) Don't care.

If she often parties all night, when does she sleep? If you try and work out her sleeping cycle and send me a pair of yours and your lady's shoes I will fashion tap dancing soles made of iron, with added uppers of jingle bells, and I'll teach you both a routine to Mr BoJangles. You may have to take up any carpet you have down for best effect.

Thanks for that Mimi......I know it's only teh internetz, but it really does help when someone, even if you don't know them, gives a shit. We already sleep with earplugs thanks to Mrs Mad, and any new suggestions, however insane, are very welcome. Oh and it's a and b btw.

Well, I use earplugs, too (they also are prone to large family parties and someone works nights and puts on very loud prayer chanting programs at about 4am a lot of the time - I assume it is prayer chanting because it is so rhythmic).

I am sure you have already looked through this advice* but if you have gone the route of environmental noise pollution before but to no avail and have now moved area, it might be worth giving it another try.

I have dealt with nose pollution bods before and they were unhelpful and didn't even come out to monitor the problem, police didn't want to get involved. One of my friends had just moved to my local police station and has been promoted, though, and I am going to ask his advice.

If all that ails, I'll send the hammer cannon guy on to your place after I have finished with him.

*the information is from Ealing council, but i believe the same procedures stand true everywhere)

Tell me where I can order the hammer cannon guy....does he do abroad?

I forgot to mention, I'm an ex-pat Brit living in Germany, so those helpful laws probaly don't apply in wurst-land.

Thanks again though

Then again we do have Russians in the house who will happily do an assassination for two crates of beer, no qustions asked

Oh, poopsicles.

I am sorry, I understand nothing of UK law, let alone German law.

Postage of hammer canon guy might also need to be re-estimated (he eats cheaply but heartily...).

I'd get the lederhosen on and start that tap routine if i were you.

See, I had a lot of picture frames that needed putting up. Once my neighbours seemed to go on a three-night-long party rampage. I waited until they finally went quiet, but obviously my sleeping patterns were now terrible askew, and unable to sleep one morning I got up at 6:30 and saw to all of those odd jobs I had been meaning to do for a while.

Oddly, my nice neighbours (I have a neighbour called 'Babs', isn't that lovely?) did exactly the same thing.

It may have been silly, but it just made me feel better.

This was fun....I don't regret posting at all now, thanks Meems, you helped......can I call you Meems? Well I did now. If I need anyone killed I can always try Comical G

You can call me Meems, of course Many people do

I think Comical G and the Russian mobsters will make an awesome killing squad

I can imagine them screaming around in small hatchbacks...

small hatchbacks of DEATH.

Don't let comical near cars. Especially in traffic.

That man looks like a fatter-faced Chandler Bing.

So Chandler Bing around season 7 then.

I met him and he was genuinely lovely.

Did he hit you with a gold club to make you say that?

The complete works of The Fall, an MP3 player and one loud speaker system. Start it at 5am on Saturday, on a loop, and go out until Sunday night. Every weekend.

A gold club? No, I had heard that they made a mint out of that show, though.

I think mrbogus may be onto a winner there!

Or what about 'Tomorrow Never Knows', on a loop, bass up.

Sorry to hear about this Mr C, some people just seem to live in inconsiderate bubbles.

Last night I wanted either CG or a crossbow to "take out" some loud people outside our hotel room. I was monumentally drunk on the least amount of alcohol possible.

Last night I wanted either CG or a crossbow to "take out" some loud people outside our hotel room. I was monumentally drunk on the least amount of alcohol possible.[/quote]

See wher you fail is tha h cobmo is best to have cg and the croassbow!

Speaking of being monumentally drunk on the least amount of alcohol possible...