Be Excellent To Each Other

my favourite is 'foof'

A work colleague refers to hers as her 'mini'.

Fur Burger.

Fun Tunnel

Wizard's sleeve.

Or Butler's cuff for the opposite.

Must be the women I've been out with.

Conversational - faff. Recreational - cunt. THESE ARE THE TERMS.

And yet you find porn amusingly contrived.

"Oooh, you have such a lovely cunt"

Bleurgh.

Still, could be worse. You could call it a "hoo hoo" or "Lotus garden"*


*Looking at you, Courtney Love.

I read that as mimi.

Mimsie.

As if I would say something so bland. Honestly.

Besides, 'pussy' is what they say in porn 99% of the time. "dat pusseeee, yeayah baybeeee lookit dat pusseee", typically.

And I did. Sorry Meems - here's a monkey to make up for it....

Heh. Anyway, I just can't use any ladybit-related word in bed without giggling.

Hmm, so, what *would* you say then, just out of interest? Give us a particularly fruity example from your repertoire of pillow talk.


I feel a survey coming on! To the pron machine!

Except in German porn, where they talk about Herr Kunt.

An extended research session, perhaps?

what's wrong with using the word vagina and/or clitorus?

Malc

Is that like Toys'r'us?

Because they are both deeply unsexy words.

At least they have a locator on their website.

Axe wound.

*Bearded* axe wound.

Soggy kebab.

Beef curtains

etc.

Repetition, Z!

My brother and his mates used 'sweaty' instead.

Vertical Bacon Sandwich.

Sorry Chap.

I'll submit: Gut Locker.

Quim

Cock Socket.

Grimsby Harbour

Butcher's Dustbin

I love saying quim, it's an awesome word.

Cup of Plenty

I came across (o-ho!) a porno mag from the 80's, and they seemed quite keen on calling them 'cunnys' in there.

From the original latin...

Malc

"Just leave it on the table, Ms. Bruni."

Actually I tend to avoid using them as well to be honest, but then I tend to talk about other things like what we're doing and what we will do, and how much fun we're having and how it all feels, rather then describe people's body parts to them. It seems a little redundant. But I'd still say 'cunt' as a rule, unless it was just pillow talk, when it'd vary depending on the mood. Never 'pussy' though. It's a thoroughly rubbish, weak, lame and cringeworthy word all round.