Be Excellent To Each Other

Yarrgh! (Makes Tiger face, leaps up from behind desk. Child stares. Runs to mummy.)

Well, I'm in the children's library now for the next six months. Roald Dahl day was an excellent inauguration, but now it's down to the gruelling slog of keeping hyperactive children from getting bored and/or hurting themselves.

Anyone worked in a children's library before? You parents out there, know of any neat imaginative activities at your local children's library that I can cunningly swipe? Any tips on keeping energy levels up for a trying day, without resorting to alcohol?

Now I must run, Joey-Joe-Joes trying to brain his sister with a Tonka Toy.

My wife used to work as a librarian in both elementary and high schools before she moved over here. I'll ask her if she has any advice.

I used to run a 3-6 years old group at the local library.

I would read a book and think of ways to act it out with the kids - masks, stick and hand puppets and rudimentary costumes all helped. I would also hand out a line drawing of one of the characters from teh book that we were reading that week and we'd sit down and colour them, or they'd take them home.

We did quite a few different things, what kind of things are you looking for and how long do the kids stay for - do you have them arrive for pre-arranged sessions or are they just wandering in with parents throughout the day?

Good questions Mimi!

Well, they come round for story-time on a Tuesday, which has a bundle of stories for a half hour, and then craft activities and singalongs. Then there's rhyme time another morning, which is the same thing. It's for the same age bracket you mentioned.

I might buy an Eskimimi toy, or something to hold the pens in!

Other than that, parents wandering in and out. We get a different basket out of ten or so circulated every week full of different things for kids to mess around with. One basket will be 'textures', the other will be 'messy things' and so on. That's handy inspiration.

Oogh. I'm really knackered. I drew this kid out of his shell. He doesn't relate to the female staff, but he seems to find me hilarious. I've been running around making Tiger noises with him while shelving books, for about twenty minutes, and playing catch for another twenty while tidying up. It's kinda nice 'cos he waved and said 'bye!' again and again, and apparently he doesn't do that normally.

I am however completely exhausted now.

I thought it was a library rather than a childcare centre? Do they not have parents with them?

Let me have a think about some of the stuff that I used to do, nervy P, my brain's not working at the moment as I am about to nip to the shops and trying to work out what I am looking for.

I'll give my friend a call tonight, also - she's been a teacher for about 5 years and teaches five year olds, so might well have some good tips/ideas/advice.

M x

They do, the parents join in with the activities. This still results me in running around going, "Rowr!" though.

And ta Mimi! Though I notice now you don't have pencil cases. Heigh ho. I do like the look of the Dinosaur DS case very muchly, though.

Neat suggestions there Shin! I like the toilet rolls one! And I think I know the pins you mean. The gold blobby-circular headed ones with the two prongs that bend back, right?

Excellent - I wasn't being entirely serious there...

First Born loves libraries - he's not even two, and still loves books and libraries and lady librarians. Our local libaray is very child friendly, for all ages of kids, and has an excellent (and huge) kids area, complete with big comfy chairs, bean bags, toys and everything. It is one of the acest places anywhere.

Boo to the grumpy old people who scowl at us, though.

Ah, clearly you haven't reached the stage in parenting where you make everywhere you possibly can a childcare centre.

"Go help the nice mechanic under that precariously raised car, Jimmy!"

Kids' libraries => no difference.

Ftfy.

I recently turned the office into a bowling alley using a large number of sample floorboards and an enormously heavy iron cannonball for some three year old who wandered in off the street to talk to the strange bearded man in a secluded office while his mum chatted to some woman or other in a sandwich shop up the road.

In three out of seven parallel dimensions, I'm currently rolling around naked in the ransom money. Fucking morals.

She's taught them from straight out of the womb?

No matter how many times I read it I can't make it scan like that.

Yes, I do understand what Albino kid means, but it doesn't read like that.

"She's been teaching 5 year olds for 5 years now" would have scanned like that. This has almost been phrased entirely to try and avoid someone making that joke and then doing near endless analysis of it.

Victory there then.

I have a friend who worked in a sprog taming centre a while back. Based on reports of her experiences, my advice is to be an attractive young woman with a breadth of artsy skills. Hope this helps!

(Throws wig in bin)

"You're hired!"

It's 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' tomorrow, and we're combining that with the pirate them for the very soon to be launched Bookstart. This means making spy-telescopes out of toilet-rolls, making treasure maps with a chocolatte coin bag prize and making big, big cardboard ships to stick on the walls.

At the moment however I'm knocking up a multiple choice quiz for the yun 'uns. It's tricky though, trying to get the right not-entirely-obvious answer while making it easy. Plus I'm slightly tempted to throw in parent-pleasing jokes.

Here it is so far...

In the UK, "split pin" is something you get on a car; the US calls these Cotter keys. The crafting doodad made from brass you are describing is normally simply called a brass fastener or, in UK craft shops, often as a "brad". Wiki edumacation awaits.

Heh, well I'm married to question 10, but yeah, the other two are a bit forced. The answers for them are a bit too silly as well, but I knew that when typing them. I'm coming up with new answers.

Parrot Pinata sounds cool! But expensive! But cool! Maybe some Haribo, hmm...

The answer to 6 better be Purple Bertram.

Gagh. Can't concentrate on anything due to shitty band under the railway tracks in their utterly non-sound insulated rehearsal space blasting out "RAWK!" that is so hamfisted that it defies belief.

They've been playing for two hours now, the sound pounding through the pre-fab walls. I used to be able to drown it out from behind the music desk in the adjoining building with tunes, but here I'm right next to it and its murder.

Would it be a sin to kill them?

I'm making a big cardboard pirate called 'Cap'n Pete Badluck'. His beard, hat, peg-leg, sword, pistol belt, eyepatch and parrot have been stolen by a lady pirate, and you have to find them for him! Thanks to the genius art of velcro stick-on pads, the items can be handily attached, making a mournful pirate into a happy one.

Now I just need a name for the wicked thieving lady pirate, and maybe a design idea for her. Suggestions BETEO! ("Half of which will no doubt be considered indecent," - ed.)

Dread Pirate Roberta!

Cap'n Mimi Adobe.

Pirate Queen Pricillia O'Ate

Mimi!

You are now the Wicked Captain Mimi, stealer of belts, eyepatches, hats, cutlasses, peg-legs, beards and parrots! Children must defy you in finding poor ol' Cap'n Pete Badluck's apparell and reattaching them via the magic of velco to the colourful comedy pirate stuck to the wall. You accompany the display in the form of a rather spiffing drawing that looks nothing like you, as I did not want to too closely associate your fine store and personage with illegal pirating activities and mean behaviour.

Hope that cheers slightly, on your rubbish day.

Agh. I am completely exhausted. Yup, we've just had Michael Rosen children's poet laureate around, with a BBC 4 camera crew and a dozen giddy eight to ten year old children in tow. The theme of the show is introducing kids who are reluctant readers to boko-books. Things went swimingly well, the kids were really funny and Michael read some of his poems to the little kids. Didn't really get to speak much to Mr Rosen beyond pleasantries, but he seemed a nice affable chap, and he has a firm, manly handshake. I was repeatedly filmed being snowed under by kid's 'excuse please' requests for books and stickers and magnets and stuff, and at the end during the children's question and answer sesh, where I did cheesy grin and thumbs up to a kid's opinion that we were better and cooler than Llanedeyrn library. The kids got a bit fed up with the cameras though, when one said off the cuff to me, "I really love this library," the BBC woman said, "What did you say? What did you say? Can you say it again?" Poor thing. Don't know if I'll make it on air, but I suspect I may - for about five seconds. Though I am wearing a Spillers Records t-shirt, so it depends if they twig.

So yes, I'm knackered. I'm now making pirate hats for Friday, when I am dressed up as one for National Bookstart Day

You've made it.

Far more than most people spent at Rada.

Good stuff.

Aw, Michael Rosen is lovely. I used to read his old poems and stories with my sister when I was a kid, particularly the stories about his wee son, Eddy. I was heartbroken when I read his Sad Book a few years ago and found out that Eddy was dead. It's a beautiful book, that. Very simple and sincere, without any of the condescension that often comes with books about grief.

Well, that was knackering. Just had to host over 30 kids (count 'em!) in the National Bookstart Day Pirate thing. There were songs, a pirate tent, craft with sand and glitter and digging for treasure in more sand, a story and an incredible amount of mess and running around. Yup, completely knackered.

And the kids trampled my Pirate Pete cardboard and velcro thing.

But it was a success, so hurrah for that.