Be Excellent To Each Other

Have you ever been witness to something which you shouldn't have, or wish you hadn't?

I don't know, somebody doing something gross, your older brother having sex, whatever.

I ask because I saw a film the other day, well, only a few minutes of it, but it has mentally scarred me. It had started when I turned the tellybox over, but it was a girl, about 7 in a chamber. They were gassing here, but she broke out with some incredible strength and began to run out of some kind of military compound. I was feeling a little unwell and not able to sleep, so watch a little longer. i wish I hadn't. She boarded a train, ate loads of food which she had stolen and then... her skin began to writhe...

Oh no, where's the remote, turn it over, turn it... too late. Pretty blonde girl exploded with tentacles.

Anyway, that;s a fictional example, but still, it's embedded in my brain now.

Have you seen anything that has mentally scarred you but which is humorous and which you are willing to share for our amusement?

Species? My heart goes out to you.

Is that the film? I never saw the beginning so I wasn't sure what it was called. I turned over just before I went to sleep and there was some green alien creature, badly animated, strangling a man with 10 ft long tentacles coming from her nipples, but that may have been another film on by then.

My, you must have been tired — that was actually yourself. Poor Craig.


Leaving the multi-story carpark after seeing Mogwai in Liverpool, I saw a man stood behind a girl, can of lager in hand, bending her over a railing and giving her a good seeing to. That was a bit awkward.

Hehe, no, turned over the TV channel, cheeky beggar!

Did the couple see you, Nyn?

They certainly did. The bloke gave me a raised cheer with his lager hand.

Legend.

"Hi dad..."

"Waheeeeey!"

Your dad's ace.

Oh my.

HA! Caught the dirty editing bastard! Look at him there, letters all over his face!

This evening I witnessed a neighbour punch my son because he didn't like the way he was looking at him.

Oh heavens, Jazz! Did you call the police?

Fuckers.

Yup, but there's been a big incident the next estate across so they're all tied up. We had an appointment with them tomorrow between 4 and 7.

Fucksake, the little bastard. Is your son okay?

That's reet shit. In what way was your son looking at him? Have you had troubles with the neighbour before?

He's winded, he was sat on a fence at the time, the guy was having a go at a friend of a friend of his. Daft thing is, Darryl never even opened his mouth!

So sorry Jazz

I never, ever understand that whole 'what you looking at me for?' nonsense.

Stupid, horrible people.

Whenever I read posts like the above it makes me wonder where in hell you live and why you dont you move ?!

is it just me or does the explanation sound a bit like a miyazaki film?

anyway mimi can you get me halal haribo I will pay, I feel proper sad over my phone and think I need them, I will try find a worthy trade for such kindness.

I will go and find Halal Haribo tomorrow. You do not need to pay, they won't cost much

I've just had this conversation with Devilman Lace. I do want to move, but because I've found a house that I like in an area that I like. Not because I've been forced to do a council exchange because of my neighbours. Now I'm also the first person to complain when, as a council tennant, I get tarred with the same brush as others. But the reality is, if I exchange with someone, there is the possiblity that they want to move because of having bad neighbours too and it could be out of the frying pan and into the fire. I lke this house, it's the childrens home and I fail to see why I should have to uproot them from it without it being to go to a better place of our choosing. I've also spent money on this place and get on really well with my immediate neighbours. Since I'm (we're) not the one in the wrong here, why should I (we) have to give that up?

I haven't really slept last night because I'm so angry that I'm not going to give in to the bullying of thugs. Be interesting to see what the police have to say about it.

I once wandered in on Pauline's flatmate and her then boyfriend sharing a bath together (no locks on the bathroom door).

It was after staying over the night, I'd just woken up and was bursting to go to the loo. I then had to cycle all the way home (Leytonstone to Victoria for those that know London) on a full bladder!

Malc

I once had the misfortune to stumble on photos of a gentleman performing a penectomy on himself on the BMEzine website. Just don't go looking for them. Seriously.

Is that some form of surgery? On himself?

I once saw some pictures of a young lad who'd been killed by his friend. His chum had separated his upper body from his lower body, as you do. It made for absolutely horrendous viewing, and it was on a website that seems to specialize in reporting stuff like that, and always seems to frame the graphic images with utterly bizarre stories, which I really hope aren't true.

Mind you, it reminded me that I hadn't listened to Obituary in a while and that I should do some mince for tea, so it was alright really.

Hmm! Removing his winky because he wasn't happy with it. BME is a very bad place sometimes.

Actually that bit just reminds me of hentai in general.

Looking through a Persona 3 H collection on line and coming across one of Mitsuru and Koromaru getting it on. For those uninitiated with Persona, Koromaru is a dog.

Remember kids - look it up on wiki and not Google images.

I remembered what hentai is from when someone mentioned it before. It's Japanese cartoon porn, isn't it?

My neighbours regularly see me naked as I get dressed after exiting the shower, so that's prolly relevant.

I saw a woman having a piss behind a Transit van earlier today. Birmingham is classy.

Is the shower in the street?

No, it's next to the bedroom.

The bedroom where all of your neighbours are gathered?

Do you not see stuff like that in the posh part of Nottingham?

Living in the Playboy mansion has its advantages.

During the first Gulf War, a local news channel did a bit on 'previous depictions of Ey-rabs in the media' and did a bit from the original The Mummy film, specifically, when the bloke is being embalmed alive. All I can remember is a grainy black and white image of his frantic, staring eyes as he struggles in his bandages while a pair of hands holding another roll of bandages hurriedly finishes the job.

Suffice it to say, I was incredibly freaked out (age 10) and to this day I don't find Ancient Egyptian culture so much 'fascinating' as 'horrible'.

Police came, at the moment they are going to charge him pending further statements.

Watch out for 'There's been a brick through my car window' posts.

I didnt accidently see it but the newcastle-hull match yesterday will be quickly forgotten.

When I was in my early teens and on a day out in London with a friend, we saw a man collapse and presumably die of a heart attack in the middle of Tottenham Court Road. Not necessarily gruesome, but not something you really want to see as a kid nonetheless.

Also: a mate once tricked me into looking at goatse. Another, slightly odd, school friend also once wanted to show me this 'really bizarre' porn site he'd found, only to for me to witness, for the split second it took me to close my eyes fast shut, a photograph of a lady eating shit directly from a chap's bumhole. I'm not entirely sure which of the two was worse.

then

Keith Chegwin's willy.

I haven't watched anything on 'five' since, just in case there's ever a repeat.

is a valid point and I had managed to mind bleach that away. Now it's back.

Sorry.

Still, at least it wasn't Alan Titchmarsh. Or the Chuckle Brothers.

Oh gods no!!!

Gosh, I still remember seeing that... I'd heard nothing about the show beforehand, and was just casually flicking around channels in my bedroom, and chanced upon Cheggers's unimpressive member. I was convinced I was hallucinating. It was even released on VHS! I mean... whaaaa?!

I'm quite appalled that Craster hasn't relayed his "wandering in on two gay guys who were in the middle of the act of fellatio" story.

Well, that was it, really.

Maybe he didn't wan't to 'out' you.

Quite sweet really.

I know I'm always banging on about my flatmates, but one of them walked into my room with a cup of tea while I was having a wank (nearing completion, too). He always knocks before entering, but not this time. I recoiled back into bed, pulling the duvet up and shouting obscenities while he bumbled about in a panic, trying to find an available surface to put the tea down on. I don't think he actually saw anything, but I'm sure it was as traumatic for him as it was for me.

Down here in the South they go behind Sprinters.

Paula Radcliffe?