Be Excellent To Each Other

Flight crews reveal which celebs are nice, and which ones aren't.

http://www.pprune.org/cabin-crew/300180-who-your-nicest-celebs.html

"I'll cut out your heart... WITH A SPOON."

Real men would have used a steak knife, see.

It was a Robin Hood quote you loon!

I love Mr Rickman. He is on my "would" list.

"Would" like to see more filums with him actering as an acter in it? Them.

Um. Yes. That. Them. Those.

Meanwhile, back on-topic......

Apparently Jeremy Spake is back working at the check-in at Gatwick. There were some good stories in last weeks Holy Moly about him getting pissy with people.

Which were?

Yeah, Chinnywins, spill it. Stop alluding to juicy gossip! Tell we!

Holy Moly don't archive and I can't remember much of the detail. But basically he certainly doesn't have a chip on his shoulder about being back where he started, oh no. People emailed in with their Jeremy experiences and none of them were good.

I did try to see if Google had cached it but all they had with this piece from a few weeks back which triggered the emails they got:

"I work for a television company and recently we got a list of all the 'talent' we had to treat with caution in terms of including or using their material. Amongst the usual Paul McCartney (can't use his music for meat/animal products - ditto for Moby) and some of the world's leading actors is Jeremy Spake. Not sure what category he comes under. Other than cunt."

If someone still has last weeks mailout, I think it was in that. Anyone?

Moby's not even a vegetarian. What a cock

Not if all they had was 10,000 spoons.

Pleased to see that on the whole the celebrities (and non-celebrities) involved come out about how I'd expect them to. I really like Julianne Moore too, so chuffed to hear she's nice. On the other hand, I always found Nicole Kidman to be a hateful actress, so that's born out too.

Roger Moore sounds like a chap as well.

My mum's always said so..
Um.
Ahem

if I had a quid for every rumour I've heard about Alan Rickman being gay I would be slightly poorer than the stories I've heard about Tom Cruise.

Allegedly, he lives with Richard Wilson. Feel free to say you "don't believe it"

Hah.

My mum has met him before. His mum was in the same hospital she was, for whatever reason, and he was visiting. Thoroughly nice chap, apparently.

cant see ewan mcgregor being a cock although it doesnt make him sound that bad.

although what about a forum where we rate the air stewardesses, all of them forgettable. if there was any boy ones even more foregettable.

actually topic change who do you think would be an utter twat, I reckon richard ashcroft, dakota fanning and larry david but the latter for everything thats loveable about him.

Pauline went to drama college with Ewen Mcgregor (he was 2 years below her) From memory she wasn't that keen on him.

Although not because he was a twat IIRC.

Malc

Umm. Except he is.

Yeah you're thinking of the Dalai Lama, it's an easy mistake.

More bad celeb encounters on Popbitch:

http://www.popbitch.com/questions/36/25/93/0//sorted.html

*cough choke*

I met Bruce Forsythe when I was about 1 year old. He gave my stepdad £2 for me to buy me an ice cream (which was LOADS of money for an ice cream back then) and was supposed to be one of the nicest men you might have met.

I do not think I can believe that of Bruce Forsythe - he kicked someone? He'd probably fracture his pelvis doing that, for a start...

Yeah, that's at odds with anything else I've ever read about it.

I've met a few slebs. 99% of them have been great - some of them are shy, sure, some of them are arseholes - the thing is, I think everybody is capable of having an off day where they're going to be rude to someone. Point is, are these stories true or are they the sad gossip of someone making it up, or the worst case scenario where the person telling the tale is a fuckwit and an arsehole and got short shrift from a celeb for being such a dick and is now retaliating in a pique of pathetic jealousy.

Lord knows there are some monumental cocks in the world of TV, radio, PR and general fame, and most of them aren't the famous ones.

I worked with quite a few people when I was working at Fountain, and again, most of them were great.

The funniest c-lister experience I had, though, was when I was working at HMV.

This guy:



used to come in quite regularly. I was working there during the holidays at uni, and he'd always arrive with shades and a hat on, in case he was, you know, overwhelmed by people that couldn't hold themselves aback after seeing PC Dave Quinnan from The Bill.

The PS2 was recently released and was rare as hens teeth in the stores. He came in one day and wanted to be bumped up the queue for one, he also never wanted to wait to be served, and at the height of the Christmas rush came bounding past the 30 or so people in line (yes, it was BUSY) and up to my till which I was just opening, and said 'I can't wait, I want these please'. I said I was sorry and that he'd have to wait in line like the other customers, and he complained to my manager, who, for the sake of some bloke off of The Bill, told me off in front of him. I said sorry, I didn't watch The Bill so I didn't know who he was and was made to serve him before he had a hissy fit.

Every time he came in the store he was rude, demanding, and very much unaware of his relative lack of importance. The whole thing with the huge shades (in December) and the hat would amuse me every time.

I like how Quinnan's expression hints at him being suspicious as to the fact that Mimi is slurring him, at this very moment.

Quinnan, you fool.

Genuinely laughing really quite loudly, all by myself, at this observation

He played a policeman in Bugsy malone, too. Talk about typecast.

That reminds me. The Father in Law used to work at Tescos in Handforth, which is the nearest to Alderley Edge/Bramhall, Footballer central. So many a time a footballer would be coming in, doing the shopping.

Eric Cantona was a nice guy, Andy Cole would always pause to sign autographs. Noone tended to notice many of the others, even Sir Alex Ferguson. The old "if you don't draw attention to yourself" thing.

Posh Spice would turn up in a Ferrari, dripping in designer gear, wear a hat and huge shades and then wonder why everyone was looking at her.

I think the kicking a spastic line ensures that someone was having a laugh.

I once walked past Morrissey outside Bispham Police Station during a school lunch break. He say me gawping at him and gave a eye-brow acknowledgement. Nice bloke.

Me and Mimi saw Ian McMillan in Lancaster Waterstones. I pointed at him after he walked past to specify to Mimi exactly who I was referring to only to find that he had turned around and I had my finger inches from his face. He looked a little menacing after that. He was quite small. He didn't say anything. I guess his words are valuable.

I also saw Little from 'Little and Large'. He was wearing a bright yellow tracksuit and gave a friendly smile. Nice bloke.

Oh - there is someone who I have actually properly met - Rick Witter from Shed 7. He was quite pleasant but for some reason gave me a very long hug which I recall not being entirely comfortable with. The drummer in was also tiny.

Little always seems to crop up in "I've spotted a celebrity" threads, the ubiquitous little man. IIRC I saw him on a car park in Southport as a child. (I was a child, not Little. Obv.)

Rik Mayall once hugged me at a book signing. It was the best hug ever. I like to imagine he was pulling a disgusted face or giving me the fingers behind my back, or something "anarchic" like that.

Oh, Craig and I walked down the road with David Cameron the other week. Not that he's a 'celebrity', mind, but he is somewhat famous. He seemed pleasant, normal, bland.

Yeah forgot about him.

David who?

Craig David, you've heard of him haven't you?

Um, celebrities spots or encounters, then.

Stephen Hawking - At the theatre in Cambridge watching a Moliere play. (A friend of mine was at a party that he went to once and, his chair not fitting in the lift, had to help carry him down several flights of stairs to get out at the end of the night. Was apparently terrified of dropping him and thus killing one of the great geniuses of our time.)

Clive Sinclair - Walking down a road in Cambridge. Not, unfortunately, driving a C5.

Richard Branson - At an airport. Heathrow or Gatwick, I forget.

Tom Baker - Arranging a future book signing in Waterstones in Maidstone. I heard a familiar voice, turned round, saw Tom fucking Baker. I wish I'd gone up to say hello, because even being told to fuck off by Tom Baker would have made my day.

Miquita Oliver - Having lunch with a kid at the table opposite us in a restaurant in London. Giraffe or something?

Janet Street Porter - Getting into a taxi in London, same day as Miquita Oliver spot.

Bob Mortimer - Looking even more hung over than me waiting for a train at Charing Cross one Sunday morning.

Thom Yorke - Sold me two tickets to a gig by his band On A Friday (later to be renamed). He was selling them out of his day job in Cult Clothing and had to be called from his lunch break to sell them to me. Didn't seem very happy about it. I remember thinking he was a pretty ungrateful sod, being all grumpy because I wanted to pay to see his no-name indie band.

The rest of Radiohead - Used to see them quite a lot in Oxford. My mate Josh went to school with them, so if I was with him they'd say "All right Josh?" and he'd say "All right, Colin/Johnny/whoever?"

David Gedge - Went up to him at the bar before a Wedding Present gig and asked him for an autograph for a friend who was too star-struck to approach him. Star-struck by David Gedge? The early nineties were an odd time.

Peter Hook - Striding through the crowd before a Revenge gig. Yes, I saw Revenge live, but have never seen New Order. Best moment of the night was when someone at the back shouted out "Where's Barney?" and Hooky got all pissed off. He also hit someone at the front of the crowd with his bass because they were daring to dance. Still, he's Peter Hook, he's allowed.

Mr C and Richard Blackwood - New Year's Eve at The End (I think the club was called). We'd been dancing for hours, so went and sat on the floor outside the door to the VIP room. Mr C and Richard Blackwood came out the door. Blackwood looked at us, sneered and said something about us being cunts and/or lightweights because we weren't dancing. Cock.

Bobby Gillespe - Dancing behind us to a Dr Alex Patterson DJ set after a Primal Scream gig. We ignored him, because, you know, we were super fucking cool. Or up ourselves student cocks. One of the two.

One of Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine - Had a piss next to me in the toilets at the Harlow Square. I forget which one it was now. I think it was Jim Bob. And Fruitbat stood on my hand during a gig. Because for some reason I'd got on stage and sat down next to him.

Mark Gardner (from Ride) - In the post office in east Oxford one afternoon. Um... I'm really reaching here, aren't I?

The lead singer of the Sultans of Ping - Offered me some of his drink. Which turned out to be some horrible fruit tea... This is getting silly.

One of the guys from The Frank and Walters... I think I'll stop now before I get to people who were famous at my school for swearing at a teacher, or something.

Whilst doing work experience at a magazine in London I got to telephone interview Craig Charles, Nigel Planer and Vas Blackwood (Rory Breaker in Lock, Stock). All were throughly nice gents, though the interview with Blackwood didn't go brilliantly due to him talking to me on his mobile whilst being driven round London in a taxi and he kept getting cut off.

I've been to dinner* with Diana Rigg and Brian Blessed (seperately) both were lovely. One of them very loud.


*Dinner really just being a meal after an interview in a theatre restaurant. But still, we were eating, it ws dinner time.

I talked to Richard Hammond about his dog at Crufts.

I've played Call of Duty 4 with the internets infamous Richard Gaywood.

He was a lot smaller than I expected.

Awwwwww

What did he have Dimrill? A Pawsche boxer?

South Liverpool is Hollyoaks central, Jake used to live in our building (ooh, I know his real surname), I used to see Russ in Tesco all time (because he lives/used to live round the corner), and a bunch of them were in the same bar as me once. One of the twins stood next to me at the bar but I didn't speak to her. Charl says the twins go to the gym we were members at, I never saw them because I went to that gym three times. Saw Les Hunter in the other gym once. Apparently one of the probationers on Charl's intake just got married to someone who's married to Niall, or something. Seen a few others around and about, too.

We sat next to Jennifer Ellison in Tabac (a bar/restaurant in Liverpool, lovely food, abysmal service) once. Living embodiment of scally but, y'know. Would. Charl couldn't stop staring at her. I wasn't allowed to.

To my eternal discredit I can't remember. It must've been at least 5 years or so ago.

Linford Christie - Outside the "Queen Mother's Sports Center" - He was there for some charity thing, I was there because we had "games" (yes it was school) there, We had wedged a pen lid on to a pen and could not get remove it. Someone suggested we ask Mr Christie for a signiture with that pen. He thought it was a trick pen, and had a nice laugh with us.

Chris Bonnington - Some Scout thing at BP House - He signed a sticker for me. I stuck it on my sticker door.

Steve Redgrave - Earls Court Boat Show - He was doing a challenge, where he set a time on an "ergo" (I think that's what I mean) and if you beat him you won something. Despite falling off in the middle of my run I finished 1 second slower than him, he was very impressed and wondered if I was a rower. I wasn't.

Lionel Blair - Used to hang around our primary school gate - Very Camp

Jeremy Beadle - Used to live in the block of flats opposite - Kept himself to himself.

Everyone else famous I've met I've either worked with, or actually know, or I've seen and just ignored them.

Malc

Who'd have thought Lionel Blair was a sicko-paedofiddler?

Hmm, well I did get beaten up with a toy lightsabre by Zoe Ball and Norman Cook's five year old son at the Green Man festival, inducing Cook to laugh and Ball to apologise. I missed acknowledging them, due to playing dead, as the kid had smited me round the back of the neck in his final attack and I didn't want to break the illusion for him of a cool death scene and mighty victory. They then went for pancakes.

A humiliating memory is how I was confused, weak from a week of land-slavery and possibly slightly high on a fruit picking weekend in Tonbridge, Kent, in the year 1999 or something. I met up with my girlfriend and there was David Jason hosting a fete, in his Del Boy role. Well, it wasn't really David Jason, it was a third rate impressionist. But I was giddy and confused. Cue me grilling faux-Jason about his Dangermouse work, telling him that he's awesome and that he should do more Count Duckula. Cue faux-Jason looking increasingly terrified and making his excuses and running.

I seem to recall that my girlfriend was amused by my confused naievty, though the long distance relationship came to an end in a spectacularily unpleasant way weeks later. I had a hard time getting over it, finally did, and sank back into confused anguish when I saw her as an extra in a Black Books I was watching to cheer myself up. (Girl on bike, staring at Bernard thrashing Manny in the garden in the 'replace the old expensive wine' quality episode.)

So, erm, beware! Celebrities may be FALSE.