Be Excellent To Each Other

The following is, of course, entirely hypothetical.

Imagine working with ten other people, nine of whom are really rather cool. Imagine being told by the boss that the remaining person can be awkward. Imagine putting up with a series of petty rants by this remaining person, none of which are grounded in fact at all, which cause you to quietly but seethingly grit your teeth. Is it worth warning the boss that one more minor annoyance and you are likely to cause a scene in an open plan office, given that the boss knows this person is a pain in the backside anyway?

It is worth having a word with your boss because otherwise you'll be the one with the disciplinary for kicking off.

Plus, just speaking about it will help to alleviate some of your pent up frustration.

You KNOW it makes sense.

In that case just tell the cunt as one human to another TO STOP BEING A BULLYING CUN

Do what Mr russ says.

Also, I don't think you can legally get an MP5 over here, so you'd have to join the police for a bit first to get one.

Thanks for the above. The big gripe is that it's nothing majorly important, just a stream of pettiness which if taken as individual occurances wouldn't be worth bothering about.

Still, it's Friday...


MP5s are ugly. I'll stick with the 1861 Springfield.

There's a guy sitting about 5' to my immediate north-west who I'd quite like to shoot. He's got the loudest voice in the world and is forever shouting when he could quite easily get away with just speaking, like the rest of us. When he's got no one to talk to, he'll just blurt out song lyrics to himself at random and sings at the top of his voice when he's got his headphones on. I think what annoys me, quite apart from not enjoying the tone-deaf warblings of a short arsed mouthpiece, is the fact that he obviously never stops to think that perhaps other people don't want to spend 9 hours a day listening to his voice.

"I'm busy doing my work, I've no time to challenge this guy, that's your job as a manager. I just agree with whatever he says to shut him up. He could have said jam is gas and I'd have agreed with him."

There's your excuse. Then think of a time you've challenged something or someone and use that as an example of 'if I've got a problem with someone I'll say so to their face'.

Should be enough to get you off with a verbal if anything kicks off.

Also, if the n00b genuinely does have these problems, finding out what people have been saying about them is unlikely to give them cause to complain, they'll probably just kill themselves, or try to have sex with a child as they find the adult world too complicated and cruel, yet stil need to respond to their inate desires. Either of which will see you nicely in the clear.

Go and complain to HR, they need to sort this out. You can't be fired for legitimately complaining about annoying colleagues and the law has changed to make companies sort this shit out, as if it goes to a tribunal and they're found to not have done everything to resolve the matter, they will get the book thrown at them.

Hopefully you won't have a completely fucking useless tosspot working in HR.

As from this week, I now have a weekly meeting with other local IT managers. There's one who I hadn't met before and he seems very harsh, very annoying. The kind of jobsworth that reckons he's always right and will try to cut you off to point out why.

I've got my eye on him.

Note to self, now might be a good time to start reading Comical's blog more often.

Someone on TV used to call me 'little girl' all of the time when I was working at the television studios. That used to upset me.

Some jobsworth in Brent Cross said the same thing to me last year whilst I was out shopping (I was 27/28 at the time, hardly 'little girl' but she was in her sixties'. It's a term that really upsets me because of the person at the TV studios. Oh, apart from when Ian (my mum's ex-husband, non-biological 'dad') calls me his little girl and gives me a big hug, it makes me giggle.

Don't set me off on this one...

You work with Myoptika then?

Bah! I was just going to post that.

Technically, so do I!

You've got to be quick if you want to beat me on the really predictable jokes.

There's always one like that, and several not far from it, in any given IT oriented workplace. Usually one in particular sets the weirdness bar pretty high though. We had that guy, actually a highly paid contractor and whizz in encryption or some such esoteric field, who was also a bit annoying to talk to, so was best left to talk to himself, by and large. He also, I think, had a habit of never walking on gaps in the paving stones.
I think he'd have been OK in the long run, but unfortunately for him, the company had a fairly formal setup at the time, with line managers and so on, so him being an absolute fruit loon was starting to come to the attention of more important people. One day he was gnashing his teeth and pounding on the keyboard a bit in frustration at something (as you do), and a manager swiftly zoomed over to his desk. I don't know what was said but the next thing, there was a resounding crash and this chap left the building like he was propelled by rockets. There was also a large hole in the plasterboard opposite his desk, where he'd apparently taken a run at it and stuck his head right through the partition.

The problem is though, the weirdness bar moves lower when someone like that leaves. A lot lower.

Get your own back. Email the details to [email protected] and he'll be exposed to 40,000 people.

'She', a vacuous daytime TV bint.




I'll go wash my mouth out with soap and water now.

That narrows it down. She married to her co-host who likes to shoplift?

No, not her.

Irish woman with dead daughter?

Nope.

I'll give you a clue


Can you guess?

You know what, she was almost my second guess.

I see Holy Moly have sold out of their "I'm a secret gastric band wearer" T-shirts as you could have purchased one of them.

Oh, I know this one! Is it Fearne Cotton?

Fearne Cotton is a vision of loveliness and we have a mutual friend.

Haha, I love when you search for 'Nev' it brings up MY picture of Nev in Google image search



Yes, he has a boob on his head.