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Buy my sister's book!
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Author:  Squirt [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:55 ]
Post subject:  Buy my sister's book!

My older sister's debut novel is released today. If you like slightly girly romantic fiction, you'll love it. Not everyone here's cup of tea, possibly, but we're all very proud of her. Currently ranked 50,334 in the Amazon sales ranking!

Buy it now!

Author:  Cras [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Squirt wrote:
If you like slightly girly romantic fiction, you'll love it. Not everyone here's cup of tea, possibly


Yeah, I think you may be missing the target market a little. Congratulate her, though!

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:08 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Well done to your sister, I hope she gets rich from it :) You can still find my book on amazon, despite the fact it was never printed ;)

Author:  myp [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

ComicalGnomes wrote:
Well done to your sister, I hope she gets rich from it :) You can still find my book on amazon, despite the fact it was never printed ;)


What stopped that, was it Viacom's heavy-handed bullying?

Author:  NervousPete [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Congrats to her! From the cover it looks like a pretty classy production.*

Do you want me to lean on my boss to get a copy or two in for Cardiff library? Anyway, congrats again and I hope feels the urge to write yet more, and that copies are bought in pleasing abundance.

*Yeah, they say 'don't judge a book by its cover' but they do tend to save the good artists for the good books. As for hideousness by way of book covers that internet firm vanity publishing gets, I shall speak not of it.

Author:  MaliA [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I can't read. And my literate speaking dolpin knocks off at 5pm, so I can't.

Kudos to her, though

Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

It's got Welshness, so my wife might like it. Maybe I'll get her a copy for her birthday. She'd be more likely to like it if it had some juicy murders and some cops with drink problems in it, though.

(I have lots and lots of family in south Wales and she loves going there and wants to live there one day. To be fair, she's only skirted Bridgend so far, she might change her mind if I ever take her into the centre.)

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

myoptika wrote:
What stopped that, was it Viacom's heavy-handed bullying?


No, although it was trademark-related. Basically the cuntface publisher decided at the 11th hour that it was too risky to actually used the words 'Mars Bar' when next to a picture of a pimped mars bar. Paranoid they'd get sued for 'passing off', or something equally absurd.

Anyway, it wasn't a stipulation of the contract I signed in good faith, and so I shall be suing the bollocks off them as soon as I can reasonably afford it. Apparently there's a 6-year limitation on this, so I have plenty of time to get around to it.

Author:  Squirt [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Yeah - I didn't think there were too many heavyweight readers of chick-flick romance around here ( although I have my doubts about Dimrill, to be honest ). However, the fact that anyone manages to get any books published at all is quite an achievement, based on the amount of faff she had to go through to get it out.

Author:  MaliA [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Squirt wrote:
Yeah - I didn't think there were too many heavyweight readers of chick-flick romance around here ( although I have my doubts about Dimrill, to be honest ). However, the fact that anyone manages to get any books published at all is quite an achievement, based on the amount of faff she had to go through to get it out.



<smiles quietly>

Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I've written a dead good book - no, really, it's ace - but every time I think about having to do a synopsis and write covering letters and send them out into the void I get all shivery and want to cry.

Author:  Grim... [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Well done Squirt's sister! Is that her real name?

The Rev Owen wrote:
I've written a dead good book - no, really, it's ace - but every time I think about having to do a synopsis and write covering letters and send them out into the void I get all shivery and want to cry.

Stick it online for us to read, then.

Author:  Mimi [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Well done to Squirt's sister - having a boo published is such an amazing achievement, even if you are not to become the next J.K.Rowling (which is probably a good thing, because she's highly irritating. Like a rash. A rash from the flies. The flies around that horse carcass. That carcass of a dead horse. The dead horse that she's flogging. I can't believe she is contemplating another book about Harry Potter. Gnngghhh)

Anyway... Good on your sister. It's not my kind of read, but I hope it does well amongst its target audience.

Author:  Grim... [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Mimi wrote:
I can't believe she is contemplating another book about Harry Potter.

She is?

Author:  MrD [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Mimi wrote:
Well done to Squirt's sister - having a boo published is such an amazing achievement

Image

(No, this isn't the picture I was talking about. :D)

Author:  Curiosity [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I am going to get a book published. When I write one, that is.

In the meantime, I have some short stories that are kinda fun and I think pretty decent. However, I am not sure what to do to get them published, as most 'getting published' material is for novels/non-fiction (unsurprisingly, since they sell a lot more).

Author:  Grim... [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:56 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Stick them online for us to read, then.

Author:  Mimi [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
Mimi wrote:
I can't believe she is contemplating another book about Harry Potter.

She is?

Apparently so. She was on the news a while back talking about how she liked to milk every penny out of the tired out franchise, the idea for which she lifted entirely from Jill Murphey*.

Sigh.

*These may not have been her exact words, I am paraphrasing...

Author:  MaliA [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I've met Jill Murphy. She went to the same school as my mother.

TruFax.

Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
Stick it online for us to read, then.


Um, here's a short story I wrote a few years ago. It might be very rubbish, I dare not read it again. I tend to get red-faced and feel sick and ashamed when I read things I wrote. Except the novel I wrote, which I think is a good sign.

Anyway, a very, very short short story. Story.

http://www.inverty.com/fiction/tick.htm

Author:  Curiosity [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
Stick them online for us to read, then.


http://www.urbis.com/media/view/101775/chance

If you make it all the way through and want to comment on it, do so here or via PM or something, and not on that site.

This story was, for the record, inspired by Malc (though it does not feature eggs).

Author:  Mimi [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:15 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I like the worst witch. Firstly because the film is ace (and stars not only Fairuza Balk, who is (or at least was) a beautiful talented young actress) but also the amazing Tim Curry and a god awful song, but also because it made me want to go to a magical boarding school when I was about 7 years old, long before Harry Potter was around.

Author:  Grim... [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:23 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

The Rev Owen wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Stick it online for us to read, then.


Um, here's a short story I wrote a few years ago. It might be very rubbish, I dare not read it again. I tend to get red-faced and feel sick and ashamed when I read things I wrote. Except the novel I wrote, which I think is a good sign.

Anyway, a very, very short short story. Story.

http://www.inverty.com/fiction/tick.htm


Oh yeah, I read that a while back. It's ace. Seriously.

Author:  markg [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Yeah I remembered reading that when you posted it on WoS, glad you posted it again as I mentioned it to someone and couldn't find the link. It is indeed, ace.

Author:  Da5e [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

The Rev Owen wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Stick it online for us to read, then.


Um, here's a short story I wrote a few years ago. It might be very rubbish, I dare not read it again. I tend to get red-faced and feel sick and ashamed when I read things I wrote. Except the novel I wrote, which I think is a good sign.

Anyway, a very, very short short story. Story.

http://www.inverty.com/fiction/tick.htm


I was going to post some of my word-noise, but after reading that I really don't want to. It's really, really good, man.

Author:  MrD [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 18:21 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Mimi wrote:
I like the worst witch. Firstly because the film is ace (and stars not only Fairuza Balk, who is (or at least was) a beautiful talented young actress) but also the amazing Tim Curry and a god awful song, but also because it made me want to go to a magical boarding school when I was about 7 years old, long before Harry Potter was around.

The thing about going to a magic school is that you'd (or I'd) want to learn what they were teaching.

For the first six years, Harry goes to Hogwarts, farts around for most of the year, gets into a scrape, and goes home again. Given that he's being persued by one of the most powerful evil wizards ever, I find it strange that he doesn't even think to go to what is presumably the biggest repository of magic knowledge in the country and research any kind of defensive magic.

The death toll of the series is on his head.

But enough of that fool, good luck with your book Squirt's sister! I shall mention it to all the slightly girly romantic fiction fans I know.

Author:  Squirt [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 18:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Yeah, that's really cool. I remember reading it back in the day, but couldn't remember how it went at all.

I don't know where you;d get a short story like that published nowadays - authors in the 50s always used to get stuff put into "Amazing Stories!" magazine, but I don't know if anything like that still exists.

Author:  CUS [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:05 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I shall get that for my Sis for her birthday in a couple of months, that's her sort of thing exactly. Your sister can thank me later.

Author:  The Rev Owen [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:18 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Thanks everyone.

Author:  CUS [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:46 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

"started to become a forecast of sunburned pain to come"

Gnggh. Other than that, I really enjoyed your story, and think it's like, totally publication-worthy dude.

Author:  Malc [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 22:09 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Curiosity wrote:
I am going to get a book published. When I write one, that is.

In the meantime, I have some short stories that are kinda fun and I think pretty decent. However, I am not sure what to do to get them published, as most 'getting published' material is for novels/non-fiction (unsurprisingly, since they sell a lot more).




Dude, you should try harder, I really liked that "personification of chance" one you did "for me"

Malc

Author:  Malc [ Thu Apr 03, 2008 22:10 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Curiosity wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Stick them online for us to read, then.


http://www.urbis.com/media/view/101775/chance

If you make it all the way through and want to comment on it, do so here or via PM or something, and not on that site.

This story was, for the record, inspired by Malc (though it does not feature eggs).



Ah shit, I should read the whole thread before posting hey?

Malc

Author:  pupil [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

The Rev Owen wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Stick it online for us to read, then.


Um, here's a short story I wrote a few years ago. It might be very rubbish, I dare not read it again. I tend to get red-faced and feel sick and ashamed when I read things I wrote. Except the novel I wrote, which I think is a good sign.

Anyway, a very, very short short story. Story.

http://www.inverty.com/fiction/tick.htm


I just read this, it's brilliant. Truly, well done, a really beautiful story.

Author:  Grim... [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 13:20 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

The Chance story is equally great. Are there any more?

Author:  Curiosity [ Fri Apr 04, 2008 14:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
The Chance story is equally great. Are there any more?


Hurrah!

:D

I have another story on that website, but it's only a first draft and I'd prefer to edit it. I'm also writing another short story at the moment which has a 'deadline' of Sunday night, so there should be another next week.

Author:  Goddess Jasmine [ Sun Apr 06, 2008 16:58 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Contratulations to your sister, I've love to get published one day.

Author:  ElephantBanjoGnome [ Wed Apr 03, 2013 17:00 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

So, Squirt, 5 years later, did your sister make it as a novelist?

Author:  Squirt [ Wed Apr 03, 2013 17:16 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

She wrote three novels and got them published. They did OK I think, but the time taken writing the things compared to the earnings she got meant she was earning less than minimum wage all told. She still writes, but magazine articles and a bit of ghost writing. So sort of, but not totally! :D

Author:  Grim... [ Fri May 12, 2017 12:43 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

So, nine years later, I read one of Squirt's sister's books!

It was called "Jam Tomorrow" and it was about a load of people that went for a holiday to a farm for a weekend but ended up stuck there for ages.

It was pretty good! The ending was a bit fluffy and the title made no sense, but I enjoyed it.

Oh, and the formatting was all shitty on the Kindle, new paragraphs starting halfway across the page and shit. But that's probably not all her fault.

Author:  MrChris [ Fri May 12, 2017 12:57 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
So, nine years later, I read one of Squirt's sister's books!

It was called "Jam Tomorrow" and it was about a load of people that went for on holiday to a farm for a weekend but ended up stuck there for ages.

It was pretty good! The ending was a bit fluffy and the title made no sense, but I enjoyed it.

Oh, and the formatting was all shitty on the Kindle, new paragraphs starting halfway across the page and shit. But that's probably not all her fault.

"Jam tomorrow" is a philosophical concept - it basically means something that will never happen ("you can't have jam today, but you can have jam tomorrow!"). It's very Jeremy Corbyn.

I think it comes from Alice in Wonderland.

Author:  Grim... [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:04 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I was not aware of that.

...

I'm still not sure it makes sense, but eh, titles are hard.

Author:  Grim... [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Oh, and Deri's wife had a crazy name, which I think was pronounced "Helen" (that's what I did in my head anyway).

Nowhere near as bad as 'Kvothe' though.

...

Is there another one of them yet?

Author:  DavPaz [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

I would gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today

Author:  Grim... [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:06 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

There is not. Not even a date :(

Author:  MrChris [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
There is not. Not even a date :(

I think he's given up. A bit like one of my other favourite authors, Alan Campbell.

Author:  Squirt [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
So, nine years later, I read one of Squirt's sister's books!


Huzzah!

Grim... wrote:
It was pretty good! The ending was a bit fluffy and the title made no sense, but I enjoyed it.

One for the cover! :D

Author:  Squirt [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:50 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
So, nine years later, I read one of Squirt's sister's books!


Huzzah!

Grim... wrote:
It was pretty good! The ending was a bit fluffy and the title made no sense, but I enjoyed it.

One for the cover! :D

Author:  Grim... [ Fri May 12, 2017 13:51 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Ask her how to pronounce Deri's wife's name next time you see her.

Author:  Squirt [ Fri May 12, 2017 14:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

Grim... wrote:
Ask her how to pronounce Deri's wife's name next time you see her.


I called her and told her what you said, and she said it's pronounced "Tell the bloody idiot the ending is fucking awesome" - I think it might have been a bad line ?:|

Author:  Grim... [ Fri May 12, 2017 14:54 ]
Post subject:  Re: Buy my sister's book!

That's an odd way to pronounce it!

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