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 Post subject: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:11 
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I went to Brent Cross today (whooooooo!) but went on an alternative bus route, where I passed a big sign above a building that proudly announced:
DENTICE SUGARY

Now, if you want to appear to be a professional, reliable business that people can trust, espcially with matters of health, wouldn't you double/triple check with someone with a good grasp of the language of the country in which you reside that your brand new lit-up sign actually reads the correct thing.

If you were a sign-maker and had that order in, would you not stand back and think 'actually, I'll just check to see if he in fact wanted it to say Dentist's Surgery'

It's by no means an isolated case - getting buses trough some parts of London make my mind boggle where people have paid lots of money for 'professional' signs that have barely recognisable English printed onto them.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:13 
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What-ho, chaps!

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DENTICE SUGARY is an excellent name. For what, I can't really tell.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:14 
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That is amazing. I want everyone to say they're going to the DENTICE SUGARY from now on.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:15 
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baron of techno

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Aren't there, like, rigorous standards and qualifications to achieve before you can get your professional sign-maker's license?


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:17 
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The fact that it's a dentists and they've got the word 'SUGARY' in the sign means I just can't stop laughing.

Meemers, can you take a photo?

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:19 
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myoptika wrote:
The fact that it's a dentists and they've got the word 'SUGARY' in the sign means I just can't stop laughing.

Meemers, can you take a photo?


I will take my camera next time I pass by that way (it's not 'round the corner' as it were, and I have no car) as I will now be taking that far superior route to brent Cross for the added 'LOLZ'

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:19 
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baron of techno

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MrD wrote:
DENTICE SUGARY is an excellent name. For what, I can't really tell.


I CAN HAZ DENTICE SUGARY PLS?


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:22 
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Your mother.

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What's Brent Cross like? I keep seeing it on one of my local bus routes and thinking "Ooh! A shopping centre!", but I've never actually been.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:22 
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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:24 
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Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
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There's a hand written sign in the window of my local cornershop that reads simply 'Want to teach maths' and then a phone number. It's impossible to tell if he's hiring people to teach maths and has forgotten to put a question mark at the end of the sentence, or if he's just informing people that he'd like to have been a maths teacher.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:25 
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What-ho, chaps!

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:27 
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@GlassMuseum: It's OK. If you can afford the time to go on a weekday it's like any other shopping centre but without annoying teenagers everywhere. There aren't many undesirables there - it's clean and warm, has all of your standard shops plus an Apple Store where men with magic hands will fix your MacBook after you have borked it, and then you can call them a nerd for their trouble. It's got a giant M&S where 3 sets of underwear can cost you £87, and more or less any other shop you could want. it's big enough to allow you to buy pretty much everything you want but not so huge (lie Lakeside/Bluewater/Trafford Centre) that there are three of each shop, and the two places you want to go are inevitably at either end. It also has the added benefit of the two department stores (Fenwick and John Lewis) and a Waitrose.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:34 
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kalmar wrote:
Aren't there, like, rigorous standards and qualifications to achieve before you can get your professional sign-maker's license?


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:37 
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Re: Mpac - I can't see that one...

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:38 
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"Rescource"


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:40 
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Also Signs Of Any Description That Do This Are Quite Annoying To Be Honest.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:48 
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Noticed this one on a train the other day. Standard, printed label you see above most train doors.

'Do not atempt to open the doors while the train is moving'.

I'll not be atempting that any time soon.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:49 
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Your mother.

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Mimi wrote:
It's got a giant M&S where 3 sets of underwear can cost you £87

Wahey!

Actually that sounds pretty excellent. I was under the impression that if I wanted to get to decent shops without going into central bloody London, I'd have to tube it to Wood Green. Which is literally the worst place on Earth.

Ta!

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:53 
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My favourite rubbish sign was for a hairdressers down the road, it was spelt correctly but just used to amuse me because I always had to read it in my head how it was written. Scrawled in massive child-like letters on a big white board it said:

Haircuts?

Haircuts?

HAIRCUTS???


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:53 
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Wood Green is evil. I hate the place - I'd MUCH rather go to Brent Cross than Wood Green.

let me calculate this for you...


Right, if my scribblings on this piece of paper are correct then I can confirm that Brent Cross is 8,754 times better than Wood Green.

I can't stand central London, it makes me feel shakey and nervous.

Also, do you get the 232 bus?

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:54 
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What-ho, chaps!

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markg wrote:
My favourite rubbish sign was for a hairdressers down the road, it was spelt correctly but just used to amuse me because I always had to read it in my head how it was written. Scrawled in massive child-like letters on a big white board it said:

Haircuts?

Haircuts?

HAIRCUTS???


I think I wrote it, or maybe I dictated it.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:55 
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Est. 1978

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I used to DJ every Friday in a pub called the Bald Faced Stag in East Finchley, not a million miles from Brent Cross.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 15:58 
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Sleepyhead

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A while back we got a new sign for the Risk Management department, which was proudly hung up above our desks so people would know where we are. Unfortuantely they put it up in our absence (we're a bunch of terrible pedants).

Cue everyone taking photos of our "Risk Managment" sign. In Lloyd's of London, fer chrissakes!

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:07 
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Your mother.

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Mimi wrote:
Also, do you get the 232 bus?

Aye! It involves less walking than getting the tube, if I'm trying to get to Wood Green.

Also:

Grim... wrote:
I used to DJ every Friday in a pub called the Bald Faced Stag in East Finchley, not a million miles from Brent Cross.

Get out! I met a bunch of guys off the Board of Biffo there, once. It's really nice.

LONDON CHAT

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:10 
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Mmm, Chinnees food. I wonder if Chinee had biscuits?

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:25 
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Do take a photo Mimi - that sign sounds hilarious! :)

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:33 
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Ian Osborne wrote:
Do take a photo Mimi - that sign sounds hilarious! :)


there was a a sign of a real estate agency on a piece of land nearby that had written:

WE SELL THIS PIECE OF LAND

And others better than this one

Last time i knew there was already an email circulating all over the world with a photo of it


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 16:40 
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These, of course, aren't the same thing as they are transaltions from a native language in a foreign country, but still pretty special:
Image
Image
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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:01 
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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:12 
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Not typos, but they both made me smile.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:32 
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Grim... wrote:
Quote:
I used to DJ every Friday in a pub called the Bald Faced Stag in East Finchley, not a million miles from Brent Cross.

Get out! I met a bunch of guys off the Board of Biffo there, once. It's really nice.


You did it recently, then - all dark with no pool tables? It was quite un-nice when I used to work there.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:47 
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Took this one on holiday in Luxor last year. I have no idea why tripods should get in cheaper than everyone else.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:50 
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Grim... wrote:
I used to DJ every Friday in a pub called the Bald Faced Stag in East Finchley, not a million miles from Brent Cross.


Ooh, the Bald Faced Stag. Me and a mate wandered in there one night, and my mate ended up playing pool for cash with some obvious regulars. There's six of them. I end up holding the pot (£600!), and so you can gauge the general tone, the one playing shouts at his mate "Get between that facker (me) and the door. If he moves, break 'is fackin' legs".
My friend isn't someone who often makes himself popular with random people of the lary variety. He's a snooker player over and above a pool player, and he's playing tricky little shots the whole way through (tucking the white behind his colours, that sort of thing), and his opponent is getting more and more furious. My mate finally wins, and his opponent is then jumping up and down on the table, smashing the cue into the baise over and over again. We run, money in hand. We run, and run, and run.

I don't live in North London any more.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:51 
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Glass Museum wrote:
Get out! I met a bunch of guys off the Board of Biffo there, once. It's really nice.


You fucking what?

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 17:57 
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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 18:13 
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Your mother.

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Craster wrote:
You fucking what?

Haha, fair enough. Reading your story, I see I mis-judged the place.

I think we went mid-day on a Saturday or something, it was nice and peaceful then.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:29 
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One of those weirdy alternative medicine shops in Stroud had one of those lists in the window of the syndromes they can fix. Y'know, "erectile dysfunction, hairloss.. etc"

On this list was IIIIIIIIIIIIBS

Man, those are some seriously irritable bowels.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:32 
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Most Excellent Pagan Wench

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Well, I don't have a typo sign at the mo but there are three signs that amuse me close to where I live.
We have a used car salesman not too far away called Bob Basted, a fishing tackle shop called Kev's Tackle and a chippy called Chish and Fips.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:34 
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Shewolf wrote:
Chish and Fips.

Wasn't that a kids' TV series about some gnomes? I think I had a sticker on my bedrooom door as a small me.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 19:40 
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Most Excellent Pagan Wench

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Davydd Grimm wrote:
Shewolf wrote:
Chish and Fips.

Wasn't that a kids' TV series about some gnomes? I think I had a sticker on my bedrooom door as a small me.


If it was it passed me by, not heard of that one heh

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 22:06 
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Isn't that lovely?

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Davydd Grimm wrote:
Shewolf wrote:
Chish and Fips.

Wasn't that a kids' TV series about some gnomes? I think I had a sticker on my bedrooom door as a small me.


I dunno, but it's my Dad's favourite spoonerism!

Malc

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 23:46 
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SkyKid wrote:
Sheepeh wrote:
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Have you missed the fact that they sell 'CHINEES FOOD'??

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 23:49 
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Craster wrote:
Glass Museum wrote:
Get out! I met a bunch of guys off the Board of Biffo there, once. It's really nice.

You fucking what?


It's all posh now. The pool area is an open kitchen restaurant.

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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 0:09 
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Works on contingency?
No!
Money down.


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 Post subject: Re: Bad Englice
PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 0:57 
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myoptika wrote:
Have you missed the fact that they sell 'CHINEES FOOD'??


Sheepeh wrote:
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Mmm, Chinnees food. I wonder if Chinee had biscuits?


No, no I hadn't. But thanks for checking, Myoptika.

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