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ElephantBanjoGnome
 Post subject: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:07 
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Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Here's a fun game, which might well get completely ignored, but it's amusing me anyway.

It's well known that you stumble upon a load of unsuspecting porn on google image search (safesearch OFF). I wish to investigate just how innocuous the search term has to be for porn to feature on the FIRST page of search results.

For example:

nice
lovely
big
small

All of which return porn on the first page. Not terribly surprising, and so the game is to come up with highly unlikely words (or phases of up to 3 words, say, for funsies), that return porn.

My personal best innocuous terms so far:

pie
cannon

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ElephantBanjoGnome
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:15 
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Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
'most'
'good'

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Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)

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Mimi
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:16 
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Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 25594
Turning safesearch off makes me cry.

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Mr Russell
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:16 
Awesome
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Yes

Joined: 6th Apr, 2008
Posts: 12243
- innocent
- naive
- not porn

...all bring up porn on the first page.

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Always proof read carefully in case you any words out

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kalmar
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:18 
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baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
wholesome
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ElephantBanjoGnome
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:19 
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Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
Mimi wrote:
Turning safesearch off makes me cry.

"Turning safesearch off" brings up porn! :D

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Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)

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ElephantBanjoGnome
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:21 
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Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
'celibate'

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Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)

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kalmar
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:21 
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baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
So does 'comical' :)
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ElephantBanjoGnome
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:22 
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Legendary Boogeyman

Joined: 22nd Dec, 2010
Posts: 8175
japanese

"english teeth"

saint

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Mr Kissyfur wrote:
Pretty much everyone agrees with Gnomes, really, it's just some are too right on to admit it. :)

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MrChris
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:36 
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INFINITE POWAH

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
Posts: 30498
Amazingly: "jeff" - gay porn

"Bazooka" - hentai

"bubbles" - dear god my eyes.

"Spanner" - I'm pretty sure she should be using a socket wrench for that.

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Joans
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:40 
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Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
Posts: 8648
smooth
squad
gnome (maybe?)

This is harder than it looks (don't even bother).


Why did I try bubbles after what you said?
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kalmar
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:45 
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baron of techno

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 24136
Location: fife
Hah, 'Mr Chris'
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Joans
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:46 
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Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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I've already started on a few forum members. It can only be a bad idea.
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MrChris
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:57 
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INFINITE POWAH

Joined: 1st Apr, 2008
Posts: 30498
"Kalmar" if you're into forklift trucks...

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myp
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:59 
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Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
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If 'myoptika' yields porn, then it's time for us to all turn off our computers and throw them against the wall.

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tossrStu
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:00 
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Kindly deeds done for free

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 1326
OH CHRIST MY EYES

Do not, under any circumstances, search for "taught". I'm not fucking kidding.

ZOMG Spoiler! Click here to view!
A man pushing a dog's winky into a woman's chuff :spew:
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Satsuma
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:01 
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Bad Girl

Joined: 20th Apr, 2008
Posts: 14359
Strangly 'Anal Fissure' brings up no porn whatsoever. Tch.

EDIT: Well, depending on your definition of porn...
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Shin
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:19 
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Not to be confused with elbow

Joined: 20th Aug, 2008
Posts: 4517
Location: Wales, boyo!
JESUS!

I have never turned that off before-whoa!

Cream
Bazooka (some anime woman mauling herself)
Doggy
Tight
Taut and Taught (on Taut there's a guy naked-ugly though)
Bend
Swollen
Vibrant
Jewel (Some wenches boobs)
Hold
Angle (came up with wooden figures displaying sex positions)
Pole and Rod
Ripe
HOOF! (This is a ongoing joke between me and friends as I refer to camel toe as this)
Cat (I just typed it okay! I'm not sick :s it came up with nothing-but there's a fucking EVIL spider on there :'()
Tool and pipe (didn't come up with anything, although if you type 'pipe' in there's a Hello Kitty exhaust pipe!!)

Some of these are obvious choices

Okaaaay-spent too long doing that really ^_^*


EDIT: Sorry, took me so long to type these that some may be already said

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Joans
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:23 
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I'm not sure you know what innocuous means. :p
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Shin
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:25 
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Not to be confused with elbow

Joined: 20th Aug, 2008
Posts: 4517
Location: Wales, boyo!
Oh fuck, I didn't read that part too well!!haha. Sorry just saw an excuse to random search buzz words :s

Ignore my post, I'll delete it

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Joans
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:33 
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Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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Wait, let me write them all down first. ;)
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Shin
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:36 
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Not to be confused with elbow

Joined: 20th Aug, 2008
Posts: 4517
Location: Wales, boyo!
:DD

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Decaf metal

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Grim...
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:36 
SupaMod
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Est. 1978

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"Grim" doesn't bring back anything rude, which is odd.

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sinister agent
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:37 
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Peculiar, yet lovely

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 7046
"Chair"

First result, no less.

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Kern
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:53 
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Joined: 12th Apr, 2008
Posts: 17778
Location: Oxford
Naked unborn babies if you enter 'Stuart Campbell'

Putin. Mostly of him.

MaliA continues his reign of awesomeness.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, enter 'Harry Potter'. Whimper.


(Still, at least we're all testing Chrome's porno-mode now)
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Joans
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:54 
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Joined: 31st Mar, 2008
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Kern
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Tippy
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:59 
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I weld dogs.

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 25
Gratifyingly, "flange" brings up mainly pictures of flanges. As in the metal pipe joining affairs, rather than the more "colourful" meaning several of my friends attribute to it.

And also a picture of two fully clothed girls kissing. Which isn't porn. Honest. They've got fabric over all their naughty lady parts.

And also a picture of a Doozer from Fraggle Rock. Which would be a very niche porn market.
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Shin
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 23:00 
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Not to be confused with elbow

Joined: 20th Aug, 2008
Posts: 4517
Location: Wales, boyo!
Kern wrote:
Naked unborn babies if you enter 'Stuart Campbell'

Putin. Mostly of him.

MaliA continues his reign of awesomeness.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, enter 'Harry Potter'. Whimper.


(Still, at least we're all testing Chrome's porno-mode now)


UGH! I typed in Harry Potter >.<
I type in Severus Snape and nothing happened (so annoyed!) I also typed in Alan Rickman and nothing happened (so annoyed!)

EDIT: I typed in twelve and I thought I had porn, it was just a CD title though :(

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Dimrill
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 23:01 
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Skillmeister

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 27023
Location: Felelagedge Wedgebarge, The River Tib
myoptika wrote:
If 'myoptika' yields porn, then it's time for us to all turn off our computers and throw them against the wall.


No, but it does bring up a picture of Romanista :DD

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DBSnappa
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 23:39 
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Excellent Painter

Joined: 30th Apr, 2008
Posts: 7315
Location: Behind you
Not sure I have the guts to put "Dr Dick Gaywood" in...

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tossrStu
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:31 
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Kindly deeds done for free

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 1326
I put in "Dimmers" and got lots of pictures of knobs :o

Having got over my earlier shock of seeing a dog ready to apply its lipstick to, um, the wrong kind of lips, I manned up and put in "Dr Dick Gaywood". I had to fight my way through 3 pages of Gamertag-related images before finally finding some porn (the cover to the film "Homo-Eroticon", fact fans).
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Scarysheep3000
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:34 
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Lurker

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 993
Location: Wigan
Mimi wrote:
Turning safesearch off makes me cry.


Cripes. Don't do a Google image search for your own name with safesearch off, Mimi...

"Scary Sheep" and "3000" produced no porn, thankfully.

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Splendid.

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LaceSensor
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:36 
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Joined: 2nd Apr, 2008
Posts: 3137
Fuck the innocuous routes I go straight to http://www.freeones.com (NSFW)

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Runcle
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:40 
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Time Out for Fun

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5039
Location: South Shields
unsatisfied brought up a solitary porn picture.
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Runcle
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:47 
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Time Out for Fun

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 5039
Location: South Shields
Ive found a worse fate than porn when I put my real name into google images, apparently I share the name with the bassist of linking pork.
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LaceSensor
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:51 
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Joined: 2nd Apr, 2008
Posts: 3137
Perhaps more disturbing than even the most German scat porn.

This is what you get if you type AIDS

Two horrifying (well, three) images.


You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
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Shin
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 0:55 
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Not to be confused with elbow

Joined: 20th Aug, 2008
Posts: 4517
Location: Wales, boyo!
Runcle wrote:
Ive found a worse fate than porn when I put my real name into google images, apparently I share the name with the bassist of linking pork.


My friend told me to do this the other day as they used to do it in college.

I put my full name and I just came up with my profile thing on facebook :(

If I just put my first name in I come up with a massive palace and other buildings...and 2 horses :s

Lace-Oh man, that's just wrong >.< on the first pic for some reason I didn't see anything off for a few seconds...

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Mr Dave
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 2:40 
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Paws for thought

Joined: 27th Mar, 2008
Posts: 17154
Location: Just Outside That London, England, Europe
Dimrill wrote:
myoptika wrote:
If 'myoptika' yields porn, then it's time for us to all turn off our computers and throw them against the wall.


No, but it does bring up a picture of Romanista :DD


Boy is he easy to internet stalk.
Boy is it not worth the bother.

I agree with Mimi. I keep safe search on for a reason.
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Dudley
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:49 

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 8679
Kern wrote:
Naked unborn babies if you enter 'Stuart Campbell'


Conclusive proof Stuart Campbell is a Paedophile ladies and gentlemen! :attitude:

Murdering, kiddie fiddling, giving games 2%. Is there anything he WON'T do!
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Kern
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:53 
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Joined: 12th Apr, 2008
Posts: 17778
Location: Oxford
Shin wrote:
I put my full name and I just came up with my profile thing on facebook


You should be able to stop your profile from appearing on search engines. Go and fiddle on Sinister Facebook's 'privacy' settings.
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Ian Osborne
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:06 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 424
I once did a search for 'Hot Potato', looking for the information on the GBA game. One of the first results was for a woman who cuts spuds into phallic shapes, masturbates with them and then sells 'em online...

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DBSnappa
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:08 
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Excellent Painter

Joined: 30th Apr, 2008
Posts: 7315
Location: Behind you
How many did you buy?

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Ian Osborne
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:19 
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Excellent Member

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 424
Enough for a plate of chips.

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Of all the things I value most in life, I see my memories and feel their warmth and know that they are good...
Shin wrote:
Make yourself available, I'll show you my hole ;)

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Malc
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:34 
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Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10939
Location: Devon
cucumber

Malc

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Malc
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:36 
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Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10939
Location: Devon
rosebud
thorn

Malc

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Where's the Kaboom? I was expecting an Earth shattering Kaboom!

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MaliA
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:38 
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Gogmagog

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 48650
Location: Cheshire
pavlova raspberry cream

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Malc
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:38 
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Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10939
Location: Devon
What about words you expect to give you porn, but don't.

Bush

Malc

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Guwuffle
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:41 
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Joined: 2nd Jun, 2008
Posts: 158
I thought the opposite game was image search with safesearch off for 'adjective' 'noun' with the aim of getting as many pages without porn.

Can't play at work but imagine 'drilling roses' probably wouldn't do very well.
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Malc
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:48 
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Isn't that lovely?

Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
Posts: 10939
Location: Devon
going back to words that lead to porn:

jobs
sixty
cramp

Malc

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Malabelm
 Post subject: Re: Innocuous routes to porn
PostPosted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 13:59 
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Part physicist, part WARLORD

Joined: 2nd Apr, 2008
Posts: 13421
Location: Chester, UK
Ah, excellent.

Typing my username into the image search reveals a blog who's blatantly stolen one of my old photos. The swines.
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