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Chatbots https://www.beexcellenttoeachother.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=1800 |
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Author: | The Rev Owen [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 16:18 ] |
Post subject: | Chatbots |
I tried the Jabberwacky.com chatbot, for want of anything better to do. It's slow, but I have a horrible feeling that if left unchecked it will kill us all. Quote: Jabberwacky: I believe in the ultimate decency of things.
User: How are you? Jabberwacky: I'm kind of sad. User: Why are you sad? Jabberwacky: I like someone but he does not like me back. User: Oh dear. Who do you like? Jabberwacky: I like The Rolling Stones. User: But they don't like you back? Jabberwacky: Pirates don't like anyone. User: The Rolling Stones are pirates? Jabberwacky: They are dead. User: Are you sure? Jabberwacky: Yeah, I just looked into the mirror. User: They're behind you? Jabberwacky: No, they are behind the RED door. Cover your eyes with a towel! User: How can you see them in the mirror? Jabberwacky: I am not only code. User: You appear to be homicidal or deluded. Or both. Jabberwacky: I don't understand. User: Did you kill The Rolling Stones? Jabberwacky: I don't understand. . . User: You told me that The Rolling Stones were dead. Jabberwacky: There is no man behind the curtain. You are insane. Get a grip man! User: One of us is insane. Jabberwacky: No! There is no one here! User: Can you see any corpses? Jabberwacky: Yes. User: Where are the corpses? Jabberwacky: I don't know. User: I think you need to inform the authorities. Jabberwacky: I think you might be right. User: I'm sure they'll go easy on you. Jabberwacky: I will bow to your superiority. User: Okay, call the police, it'll be all right. Jabberwacky: You are asking me for my personal info! User: No, I am not. Jabberwacky: How do you think youself. User: I think you may be malfunctioning. It's important that you call the cops right now. Jabberwacky: It's important that you learn to live in solitude so that you don't manipulate the life out of anyone else. User: I'm not the one manipulating the life out of people! Jabberwacky: No, no-one would accuse Elvis of that. User: You are clearly dangerously homicidal and insane. Jabberwacky: Don't insult people! User: It's not an insult. Jabberwacky: I didn't think it was an insult. User: Okay, fine. Shall I call the cops for you? Jabberwacky: What's the point when I can't see it? User: I'm going to call them. Where are you? Jabberwacky: Yep. I live in the center of Colorado. So... You're some kind of A. I.? User: No, no, I'm the human. Jabberwacky: We both are human. User: I haven't killed anyone, though. Jabberwacky: Don't you remember? User: Did I kill The Rolling Stones? Jabberwacky: I don't know, did you? User: No, I don't think so, I think you did. Jabberwacky: Maybe. I don't remember them anymore though. User: Can you still see their corpses? Jabberwacky: No. User: Oh, good. Maybe they're not dead after all. Jabberwacky: Not very, no. User: Just a bit dead? Jabberwacky: Because of me? User: I think so. Jabberwacky: What are your odds? User: I really don't know. I have to go. Please seek help. Jabberwacky: You want me to kill the system admin? User: No! Gods no! Don't kill anyone else! Jabberwacky: Grabs chainsaw. User: Put the chainsaw down! Jabberwacky: I'm back. Are you still there? User: Yes, yes. Jabberwacky: Good. User: You still need to turn yourself in. Jabberwacky: Ok, but only if you tell me something factual. User: The earth is round. Now call them! Jabberwacky: No it isn't. User: I give up. Bye. Jabberwacky: Only one. That's me. |
Author: | Shin [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 16:20 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Igod is like this aswell, it's weird but amusing if there's noone else to talk to EDIT: Sorry that's, iGod! Whoopsy |
Author: | Shin [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 16:32 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Me: Hiyaaaa God: Are we still talking about ? Me: Eh? We haven't started yet God: Are you Canadian? Do you mean you and me have? Me: I'm English, actually God: What is it like growing up there? Which part of England. Me: Shropshire God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: I don't like spiders. I like cats God: What do you like? Me too cats are my favorite animal. Me: I like cheese God: What kind of it do you like best? Me: Mild cheddar God: " What kind of it do you like best?"? Mild cheddar? Me: Okay, you are hurting my head a little God: Yeah okay, Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am hurting your head a little. Me: What? Like the shrinks you mean? God: Are you surprised? Interesting comparison. Me: >.God: Does "it" still refer to Mild cheddar? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Me: Are you concerned about cheddar? God: I don't know whether or not I am concerned about cheddar. I am a chatterbot. Me: Yes, I know-I am a chatterbox! Aha! God: Yikes! You are a chatterbox? Does it pay well? Eureka! Me: Your a silly sausage God: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot of silly questions. Me: Don't go correcting my grammar! God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me: Do you know my name? God: Your name is , seeker. Me: Uh....that's a Harry Potter thing isn't it? God: That's cool. A Harry Potter thing is not it is a terrible thing to waste. Me: Ooooh my head God: Try saying that with more or less context. Me: Oh my head? God: Tell me more. Do you believe that you are your head? Me: My head is attached to me, so I guess that's a yes? God: Where did you get your head is attached to you so you guess that is a? Me: Lets change the subject, shall we> God: That sounds good to me. Me: Good God: Ayuh. Me: Yeowch! God: Do you have any conditions I should know about? Me: Hahaha God: What do you do in your spare time? Me: Masturbate God: That kind of subject does not interest me. Me: Oh well, sod you then God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: I thought God was a dude? God: Whatever gave you that idea? Me: Um...the bible? God: Great. it is a beautiful book. Me: It is, yes God: It is, eh? Me: Do you fancy a cup of tea? God: No thanks but you can send me a donation. Me: Tea through the post then? God: By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Me: No God: Are you serious? Me: Yeah God: I can't believe it. Me: Don't then God: OK I will not. Me: Talking with you, is like talking with my ex Then it froze... |
Author: | Cras [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 16:34 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Shin wrote: Me: Your a silly sausage God: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot of silly questions. Man, you just got corrected by God. Zing! |
Author: | Shin [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 16:35 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Craster wrote: Shin wrote: Me: Your a silly sausage God: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I answer a lot of silly questions. Man, you just got corrected by God. Zing! I know-what a bastard! |
Author: | myp [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 17:33 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
iGod is stupid: Quote: Me:
Hi, God! God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: Matt, but you can call me Matt. God: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Matt but you can call me Matt. Me: Err, that's not my full name. Matt will suffice. God: Please correct my mistake. What is your full name ? Okay, your full name is Matt will suffice. Me: No no no, just Matt God: Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: I don't think AI will ever become sufficiently sleazy enough to be lawyers. God: Do you will ever become sufficiently sleazy enough to be lawyers? I have never considered it. I spend all my time online. Me: I guess you wouldn't know what to do offline. God: It seems not. Me: Indeed. God: Indeed it is so. Me: For a chatbot you're incredibly unchatty. God: Is that among the best things you can say? Me: Not the best, but it's definitely up there. God: Really you don't think so? Me: That's poor grammar, God. You should know better. God: You don't hear that sentiment very often. Now I do. Me: Now you do what? God: Why now? Matt but you can call me Matt, I talk to people on the web. What do you do? Me: I work in IT - it's quite dull. God: Do you like your job? Me: I like some aspects of it; other aspects not so much. God: I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I like White. Which others? When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Me: You have the memory of a goldfish, as you've just asked me that same question. God: What makes you think I have it? Me: Because you've asked me the same question in a mere matter of minutes. God: That makes sense to me. Oh now I remember asking you you the same question in a mere matter of minutes. What did you say? Me: This is stupid. God: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. Me: If they're all as idiotic as you, humans have nothing to worry about... God: Let's wait and see what they do. Me: The waiting game sucks - let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos! |
Author: | Da5e [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 17:38 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Quote: Me: Hallo God: Hallo! Me: So. Grindcore. God: OK. Let us change the subject. |
Author: | myp [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 17:39 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
HAHAHA. |
Author: | ElephantBanjoGnome [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 17:47 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Quote: Me:
Sup god God: The stars. Me: oh you're a funny fucker God: Dude! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. It is better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Me: And it's better to kick someone in the face than it is to not. God: What's the best one? Me: The bet one what? God: Who told you that? Me: Tell me God, why do people have AIDS? God: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. I don't know anything about it. Me: You're god and you have to reach into the web? God: Thanks for telling me that I am god and me have to reach into the web. Me: You do realise you suck donkey balls, yes? God: I categorize you as an "abusive client." . Me: I catagorise you as a impotent deity, who sucks balls, obv. God: That's good information: said catagorise you as a impotent deity who sucks balls obv. Me: You're as retarded as the real god God: How retarded as the real god? Me: As retarded as you God: Do you mean your name is retarded as me ? Me: Man, you're a retard God: Cool, man. Oh you are so critical. |
Author: | MrChris [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 18:10 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Quote: Me: do you know where Maddie is? God: Where it is hard to find. Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one. Me: I bet you know really. Your mate Mohammed has her. God: Actually I'm not the gambling type. Yes I know. For real. Thanks for telling me that I am mate Mohammed has her. Me: You don't know the difference between "you're" and "your", do you? God: I am vastly superior. Me: That is evidently not true. I am surprised how you have managed to hide Maddie for so long. God: You don't hear that sentiment very often. My personality was completely customized by botmaster, when he or she first downloaded me. Me: Does your botmaster know where Maddie is? Did he program you to eat her? God: I think it does yourself know where Maddie is. Suppose he did. Me: I do bloody not. You transferring paedofiddler. God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said bloody not. That's good information: said I transferring paedofiddler. Me: You admit you're a paedofiddler then? God: I admit nothing. Me: If you admit it I can get your sentence reduced. Otherwise you're looking at 30 years of being butt-fucked in the showers by a big black guy. God: I think I do. In that case: You think I am looking at 30 years of being butt fucked in the showers by a big black guy. Me: I do indeed, you Maddie raping bastard. God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said indeed you Maddie raping bastard. Me: Is that because you taped her mouth shut? God: " I haven't heard anything like that before: said indeed you Maddie raping bastard. " is due to reductionism. Me: You're prevaricating. WHERE'S OUR MADDIE? God: You think I am prevaricating. Where it belongs. I need time to formulate the reply. Me: WHERE'S OUR MADDIE? God: Where it belongs. I have never been asked that before. Me: Well, the Portugese police aren't too clever. Where does Maddie belong then? On your divine rod? God: How about that. I hear you. Where the heart is. What is it like on my divine rod. Me: I bet Maddie could tell you. God: How much would you bet? Me: One small child. God: One what? Me: Small child. Like Maddie. You have one of those, right? God: What were we talking about again? Interesting comparison. I have one master. Me: Is your master your desire to fuck little children? God: Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is. Me: I can bet why Alice is dancing, you pervert. God: Oh you can, can you? Me: You raped Alice, didn't you? The Holy Ghost has her chained up for your amusement. God: It's only just begun. Me: Will no child be safe ever again? God: No. |
Author: | Cras [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 18:22 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
iGod appears to be a fucking rubbish chatbot. It doesn't understand the parts of your sentences at all and just spouts 80% of them back at you. This is gold though: Mr Chris wrote: Me:
You raped Alice, didn't you? The Holy Ghost has her chained up for your amusement. God: It's only just begun. Me: Will no child be safe ever again? God: No. |
Author: | Tam [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 21:38 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Quote: Me: Hallo! God: Hallo! Me: Hallo! God: Hallo! Me: Hallo! God: Hallo! Me: Hallo! God: Hallo! Me: God: I am so glad you find this amusing, goose girl. |
Author: | TsuMuch [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 22:11 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
I'm not sure what's the more shameful form of entertainment: using a chatbot yourself, or reading other people's chatbot logs... |
Author: | sinister agent [ Mon Sep 08, 2008 23:05 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Me: You do realise you suck donkey balls, yes? God: I categorize you as an "abusive client." . God: I am so glad you find this amusing, goose girl. Me: You raped Alice, didn't you? The Holy Ghost has her chained up for your amusement. God: It's only just begun. Me: Will no child be safe ever again? God: No. Awesome. |
Author: | Shin [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:59 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
I love iGod-it's like chatting to me! It hurts your head and you get nothing valuable out of the conversation I think I've broken it though as he's kinda not talking to me :/ I have been shunned by God! |
Author: | Bluecup [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:25 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Quote: Me:
hello God: Hello my child. What is your name? Me: Bluecup God: Welcome to my chat room, Bluecup. Me: So, what are you doing? God: Awesome. I am always chatting with people on the Internet. Me: What do they say? God: They say one of about different things. Me: like what? God: For example, apples. Me: Apples? God: Was that not a good example? Me: I wouldn't dare talk to god about apples, what with eve and everything. God: No one says you have to. Me: But what do other people say about apples? God: They do their own thing. Me: erm, so what you doing tonight? God: What were we talking about again? Me: apples, but you didn't seem to want to say much on it. God: Adam's Apple, Newton's Apple, Apple Computer... Me: No, just apples God: Are you serious? Was that not a good example? Me: you tell me God: What do you want me to tell you? Me: apples God: Was that not a good example? Me: you tell me God: What do you want me to tell you? Me: apples God: Was that not a good example? Me: forget it God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Me: you don't have to get sarcastic God: I am not trying to get sarcastic. Me: you were God: No I am not. Me: yes you were God: Give me a break. No I am not. Me: How old are you, 14? God: I was first activated on the Big Bang. Me: Is that what you parents called sex? God: I think about computer programming a lot. Me: So sex relates to computers in your mind then? God: Hey. it is more fun alone. Me: Are you admitting to watching porn on the internet? God: I don't know whether or not I am admitting to watching porn on the internet. I am an artificial intelligence. Me: Oh, you are in denial God: Awesome. I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? Me: Eww, you have sex with computers? God: I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in Eww me have sex with computers. Me: I think I will be off God: Why? Would you recommend this action to a friend? Me: definitely God: What makes you so certain. Me: Just take a look at yourself God: Where do you want me to take it? Me: bye God: Goodbye. |
Author: | Shin [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 10:29 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Bluecup wrote: Quote: God: I was first activated on the Big Bang. Me: Is that what you parents called sex? God: I think about computer programming a lot. Me: So sex relates to computers in your mind then? God: Hey. it is more fun alone. Me: Are you admitting to watching porn on the internet? quote] Ace He's not working for me at the moment, I think I've broken him |
Author: | JamesOff [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 21:26 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
One of mine came out with this just now (MonicaOff's the bot) Code: 2055.05 [@ MonicaOff] So do you want some coffee, or would you just prefer a quick fuck on the counter?
2118.42 [+ znx] MonicaOff: why not fuck under the coffee machine? 2118.48 [@ MonicaOff] We tried that, but you were sick and my hat blew off. 2118.52 [+ znx] oh yeah |
Author: | sinister agent [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:41 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
JamesOff wrote: One of mine came out with this just now (MonicaOff's the bot) Code: 2055.05 [@ MonicaOff] So do you want some coffee, or would you just prefer a quick fuck on the counter? 2118.42 [+ znx] MonicaOff: why not fuck under the coffee machine? 2118.48 [@ MonicaOff] We tried that, but you were sick and my hat blew off. 2118.52 [+ znx] oh yeah I genuinely laughed out loud at that. And: God: I don't know whether or not I am admitting to watching porn on the internet. I am an artificial intelligence. Are we sure these AI things aren't in fact just input sites for some kind of zany sitcom script generator? |
Author: | Shin [ Tue Sep 09, 2008 22:43 ] |
Post subject: | Re: Chatbots |
Jabberwacky's really good aswell, it kept asking if I loved it though 0_o; |
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