Be Excellent To Each Other

He seemed very athletic in the way he vaulted the railing, do you think he'd been coached?

I'd be making bus company puns too...


But everyone's got there First.

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Never seen that kid before in my life!

Not at this stage.

It sort of actually is.

"Assault" is a very misused term - legally it means, basically, making someone worried that they will imminently be unlawfully hurt. You don't have to touch them to be guilty of this. So "I'm going to do your face in at lunchtime" is an assault and could and should get you 6 months in prison.

"Battery" is when you actually do lamp someone. You then slide up the scale through wounding, ABH and up to GBH. And all the way up to murder these days, of course.

HOWEVER - the police hate having to sort out shit between kids. I've actually heard senior policemen on the Today programme complaining about their officers having to "waste their time" with calls to school playground altercations.

You heard it here, kids - it's basically legal for you to deck anyone you like at school. Unless you hospitalise someone, you won't get touched. But woe betide the person who gets remotely lairey at a copper - that's an assault charge right there. They're very sensitive souls.

I see the story started out on the BBC, but if I want to read any more I'll buy the National Express.

Maybe he was just reaching over the barriers because he dropped his Double Decker?

Is this really fare?

It's sad, really. One minute the world's your oyster....

Perhaps he misunderstood how you touch in for bus journeys.

The puns are really getting a bit tyred now.

I know. I'm exhausted. I bet the Stagecoach execs are fuming over this negative publicity, though.

Is there a timetable for this sort of thing?

The next person to post a bus-related pun gets punched.

Yes, I've heard enough about this Bus, Stop.

But bad puns are our BUSiness. Even if it is about a kid with a BUSted nose. BUS.

I'm getting out of this thread, I can see that it's just going to go round and round.

And you've reached your station?

At least it wasn't terminal.

//edit: D'oh, didn't mean to revive this long-dead-thread.

Wasn't on your timetable?

GazChap is back!