Be Excellent To Each Other

I think this is missing the point. The point being that when someone says to you "Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you" they mean, at least you didn't get stabbed in the face.

Malc

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can't puncture a lung.

I agree that it's missing the point, but I think the point is that it's aspirational, as in , of course words will hurt you, but you should think about yourself and how you live your life and, just, in a sense, grow up so that you get to a point where you're happy with yourself. And then words won't hurt you too much.

The fact that at present words do an awful lot of damage to many people shows how many people can't cope with being offended. And where that's true, you're going to find life difficult - things will offend you regularly, you just have to learn to deal with it without being an arse.

Yeah, but that little rhyme is hardly teaching people how to deal with it, is it? It's basically saying "shut up or I'll beat you with sticks, you wuss". People need to learn to deal with painful feelings, and simply telling them at least they haven't got a broken arm is a rubbish way to help them do that. It's like going up to a bloke who's just lost a hand and telling him to suck it up because the bloke up the road lost two. Okay, it's not as bad for him, but that doesn't mean the pain's any easier to deal with.

Well, yes, true, but it's limited use might come as a mantra - someone says something that hurts you, you remember crap homily and repeat it to yourself, remembering that they're just words and therefore; sod it.

I don't know, I've seen many sci-fi films and comics where words can send you to sleep, make you bleed out of your ears and nose and kill you. More research needs to be done. ("We agree," - US Defense Department)

I always read it as "I can ignore what you say, you stupid person".

OTOH, bones heal but emotional abuse can produce bitterness that lasts for years.

I agree with both things that Plisskin says above, very much so.

I wish, while lying in a broken heap, people had just verbally ripped me to shreds instead.

Maybe I'm just good at shaking things off.

I was physically and mentally abused by my mothers' partner - obviously both forms of abuse come in varying degrees, but it was always the mental abuse that was the most lasting - bruises and other things healed and were something tangible for me to hate him for, something I could show another person and say 'look what this person did to me', but no-one can relate to the mental abuse of threats, the things said to and about you that bury deep into your psyche and torture you even when you are far away from that person. The times he beat and hurt me hurt at the time, but I cannot feel them now, but the things he said and the way that he made me an outcast in my family and made me run away still hurt me now and still have their consequences until today.

Indeed, and sorry to hear that, Mims. I didn't intend to say mental abuse is easier to deal with than the physical; I've never been mentally scarred or abused, so couldn't possibly judge.

It is easy, however, to make non-serious posts wishing physical pain away with verbal abuse in its stead.

Oh, I didn't think you intended it that way, Nyn, I just meant that I think it really depends on who is experiencing either and to what degree. Whether it is directed at the sufferer from someone they love and care for or a playground/workplace bully, whether they are helped or ignored and all of those things.

I think it is something that is impossible to say because each person reacts to things differently - some can shrug off insults, but to some they become what defines their self-doubt.

Well, I posted this in a blazé (sp?) way last night, but I think Mimi is correct. I tend to be "in the moment" with my feelings and emotions, and what happened 2 weeks ago very rarely matters to me. So to someone like me, words will not really hurt me. They might in the moment, but a month later and it's all gone.

Malc