Be Excellent To Each Other

Okay, I'm a curious kind of person. What sort of relationship are you currently in, or not in, or whatever? So we can see the make up of the forum.

You've left off the "open marriage"/ "in a relationship but we go swinging!" options. There must be at least *one* on this board.

Single and impatiently waiting for love. Or a hand job, or anything. ANYTHING.

I hate to point this out, but you can do handjobs by yourself - you DON'T need help for those.

I'd count that as a happy marriage, if both people were open.

I didn't specify numbers of partners. I knew a girl who had (at least) two long-term boy/girlfriends and everyone was happy.

True, but the fun's in the details...

Unless you're Stephen Hawking.

I think Gaywood might fall into one of these
How do I know? Well, he owns a caravan. What other evidence do you need for someone under the age of 50 to own a towable bed and shelter?

Considering his medical condition, can he actually achieve erection without medical intervention? Not being able to do a handjob is just gilding the limp lily really...

Single but hoping for love, but "dating" someone at the moment. Unless she changes her mind any time soon. My, I'm simply bursting with optimism at the moment!

Hahahaha! Excellent. There will be ribbage next time he's on here then.

The girl I knew wasn't in an open relationship, but a polyamorous one.

Let's hope she likes pessimists then and that that doesn't make you happy

Threesomes every night?

Ah, don't mind me, I'm just tired and grumpy today. I'm actually really pleased with how things are going with her at the moment! Two dates in and she's still interested = good going for me.

"How you doin'?"

/Joey voice.

Always works.

He's not on IM at the moment, which leads me to believe that he may be off "swinging", sorry, holiday as we speak

threesomes-another person to dissapoint.

Three's a crowd, man. Plus you spend too much time working out the mechanics of it. Pron lies.

The link between lack of sleep and depression is very real. One of the first treatments for depressives is sleep.

If I had more time I'd write about the time some friends of ours proposed a swinging time, which I thought was a silly/outrageous idea at the time and doubly so when they drunkenly brought it up six months later at dinner.

Looking at those stats Grim... should give up on cyber crime and form a online dating service...

Boobs, you mean?

I remember one of the goths I used to hang around with telling me that one of the other goth chicks had asked her if she wanted to come and have a threesome with her and her boyfriend.

She was repulsed... not least of all because the one giving the invitation had really bad eczema and skin problems, and this later spread to her boyfriend's hands.

Interesting, and I thought skin problems like eczema were supposed to be nature's own condom.

Her skin was fine otherwise, apart from these unpleasant red sores that she sometimes got. She was cute if a bit strange.

Necrotising Fasciitis?

Undead nazis?

Used to be in a band called that.

Anyay; relationships. I have no idea where mine is. I saw Tam at the weekend and it's all gone horribly wrong; some people are telling me that she is doing things she oughtn't while I'm away and I don't know who to believe. She's probably not doing owt, but it's happened to me too many times to just laughingly brush it aside like a laughing brush-man.

Yes.

Then you need to speak to her sir! I wouldn't go cruising in all accusing like, but certainly bring up these concerns if you truly believe they may have some merit. Don't go bottling it up, because eventually things can go wrong when you do that.

Not that I should be giving relationship advice to anybody, particularly as I've spent the last few days whinging to poor ol' Jazzy J about my own particular problems with the ladies. Plural intended.

We've spoken, we're on good terms, but I really don't know if I can deal with the tension that distance and rumour bring. Hopefully I can, and everything will sparkle.

Cheers for the advice though

See? Threesomes are always trouble

Overrated and dull, unless there's strict choreography involved. Um, I'm told.

The two ladies in question would have successfully killed each other before I'd even got my pants down I'm afraid.

Sex AND violence. Mmm.

German girlfriends are excellent. Just ask that guy who used to write for Amiga Power, if you don't believe me.

Ich bin ein glass coffee table?

IT'S SHITMAS!

I once went to a girlfriend swapping party, and came back with a PS2.

Result all round, I'd say.

There's no option for engaged, so I've put long-term (happy - Testicle-Saving Ed) relationship. It's coming up for four years in October, and we're getting married next July.

Single, but missing some of the relationship side of things. I do have you lucky lot instead though.

Were it not for Thursday poker during which I also watch porn (mostly to keep Joans happy), I'm not sure I'd be able to get through the week at all