Be Excellent To Each Other

Puma cunt.

Never fancied a ford... well, apart from Mk1 & 2 Escorts. While that Focus sounds good on paper, like Mark said, they're twat-mobiles, so I'd never like one myself. Standard spec Fords are so commonplace and boring I always dismiss those too when ever I'm looking for a car. Much sooner have a Type-R or Cupra if I was going for a sports hatch, although pretty sure my next car will be a Merc or Audi diesel.

I drive a shit car and don't give a toss what anyone thinks.

I bet you wear a hoodie, too. You fucking scumbag.

I drive a brown Skoda, so clearly other people's opinions didn't feature too highly in my decision making process.

Nothing wrong with that, I hear Skodas are very well made, practical and reasonably priced. The M&S Blue Harbour of the car world.

Not at the moment but yes, sometimes I do.

Jesus, you monster. I bet you have a tattoo as well, you wife-beater.

I am not liking the way the conversation is going *puts down stella, pulls huddie down to cover tattoos*

Heh. I've been refused entry to establishments even as late as last summer, because of my mode of transport/attire/appearance.

Badge of honour, I love it.

No. I don't have a tattoo. I have two. I also beat my wife at solitaire the other day. Does that count?

Are the tattoos video game related? If so... doesn't count

I'm not convinced you grasp how solitaire works

You're right, I don't! It was actually Othello.

Good cars - I miss mine

I drive a Honda Jazz. There's nothing anyone could say about it that I've not said myself.

Honda...(wait for it)...Jizz, more like.

I drive a silver Picasso. It's full of kid's seats, blankets and wet wipes. It's a proper, 100% Dad-mobile.

I love it

I was wrong, I've never heard that one before

It's my third TDI Octavia Elegance, so they must be doing something right or I'm really predictable.

I was looking after Gaywood's cars for a while, and a fence blew into his Picasso. If the Picasso wasn't there, it would have hit the (much newer) Skoda.

I decided that the Picasso had bravely jumped in the way to save the Skoda, and renamed it the Kick-asso.

And now I need a bumper sticker...

Yup, that's me!

"Powered by Mekon dust"

My other car is a Doomsday Chair.

I love a fast, tarted up ford (I had an Fiesta Zetec S, then a Focus ST with side stripes* and was toying with the idea of pushing for a Mk2 RS) but that new RS isn't really doing it for me. I've never been keen on the 3rd gen focus appearance and that interior looks horridly cluttered.

I'm probably due a midlife crisis soon, but am still being sensible. Gah.

*I generally drove nicely and saved hooning for clear roads (that's still bad, admittedly), but my wife was and still is a terrible tailgater.

One word: Falcon.

Just as well really, as Ford has announced that the allocation (in the UK, at least) is only 4000 cars and I'd be surprised if there are any left seeing as there were around 2000 orders on their books months ago.

Man, this sort of thing brasses me off, we see this all the time? Porsche are the worst culprits; the Cayman GT4 sold out within mere hours (they could've easily shifted ten times the 2,000 car allocation), and as for the GT3RS, don't even get me started - a "serial 911 buyer" I know didn't even get so much as a sniff. IDGI.

Surely it behoves Ford, Porsche or whomever to very profitably sell these cars to meet demand, because the more of these fantastic halo cars on the road, the better, there's no finer advertising. Are Ford really saying they'd rather their punters - RS has an incredibly loyal following, as do Porsche GT cars - went around in a cruddy Focus "Zetec" or ill-sorted ST, because that's all they could get?

What a load of arse, I say. My Porsche dealer has the brass neck to sell a "secondhand" Cayman GT4 with naff all options for "offers over £100k", when the brand new list price is only £64k (and the punters are fighting over it, believe me), how's that for taking the piss out of your customers?

Gnngh. So basically we increasingly routinely now have to read about "Giant tests" in car mags comprising of cars you can't buy, which is very frustrating and stupid.

Is there some sort of average target they have to meet with regard to emissions that might be a factor?

Remember how Aston Martin had to sell a load of rebadged Toyota iQ (the Cygnet , I think) superminis that one time?

Ah right, I might've known eco-shite had something to do with it.

Note that I was asking, I have no idea for sure.

I see one of those around here all the time, the fucking thing is hilarious.

I always assumed Aston Martin would just make them to satisfy the eco-stuff, but then immediately set fire to them all or hide them in a big barn somewhere like Hershel's zombie family, I'm astounded anyone actually bought one.

Yeah I know mate, but now you mention it it does ring a faint, tedious bell. It figures.

Hilariously, some TDI econobox is probably more harmful to health in any meaningful, tangible sense than ever a Focus RS is, or even Cayman GT4, but let's not go there again, don't think I could stand it.

Can you imagine the type of person who *did* buy one? Man alive, that's some concept. Just how much of a bellend would you have to be to spend £30k or whatever on a rebadged Toyota IQ (which is bad enough when it costs £10k and was binned off in short order IIRC)

I don't think it's anything to do with that, Aston Martin only had to do it because all their other cars are Aston Martins.

Not sure what Ford's reasoning is but I'm sure that if they calculated that there was a huge profits to be made by making a hundred thousand of them then they would. Perhaps they're too expensive to make or maybe they'll be highly strung and back at the dealers all the time and it's just an exercise in building the brand or something.

Dunno Mark; that wouldn't make much sense with the Cayman GT4 as it only runs a stock (in fact detuned) 911 GTS 3.8 litre engine and a boggo 6-speed manual 'box, so has "standard" running gear, but can't speak for more mainstream stuff like the Focus RS.

Lower supply increases demand
Limited factory time
Less profitable and lower volumes
Shit demand planning
Availability of components


I guess

Also posh twats aren't gonna want to buy a car that every man and his dog can get hold of. Makes it more prestigious to have low numbers.

@Mali

But given they could sell these cars multiple times over, at greatly higher prices, I really don't buy the profitability angle.

There's not *that* much difference between a Cayman GTS and a GT4; like I said, the GT4 uses a stock engine and gearbox, and you have to pay (much) more for things like ceramic brakes etc. If they can't turn a profit mass producing it (especially if they upped the price by £15k whilst they were at it), then I don't see how they can be making money on *any* Cayman.

Given Porsche pretty much print money and have obscene shedloads of cash (well they did, before VW's little eco-issues), I'm inclined to be sceptical. You get owt for nowt with Porsche.

@Myp

True, but a Cayman GT4 (and Ford Focus RS to a large extent) is an out-and-out racer; they are blue collar heroes punching miles above their weight. I don't want to sound like a twat here but £64k is nothing for a Porsche (my mere Cayman S was £61k), yet the Cayman GT4 is widely thought of as THE best Porsche at any price, £160k (plus options) 911 Turbo S included - and most especially in comparison to the latest Carrera turbos which have been ruined by eco-laws and are apparently crap to drive. No wonder why old, thirsty, "dirty" 911s are rocketing in value.

I would imagine the trade margin on an RS is considerably lower than on a mid level focus.

Mate at work has a Falcon ute with a turbocharged V6. It looks and sounds good, goes well too - he thinks it goes better than his old GTO (Monaro).

The good people of the Shire must have heard that my car's fixed: the roadsame were empty today. Felt good to have working brakes again.

http://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Citroen-XSara-P ... nav=SEARCH

Opinions please on above box and it's ilk. They claim to boost my gutless 90bhp engine to a ripsnorting 110bhp with a slight increase in MPG as a bonus. Are they worth the money? Or is it modern day snake oil?

Fuck that

Not convinced? I've been reading around. It's essentially a remap of the ECU but removable

Tuning boxes do work just fine - they don't tend to get as good results as a proper remap but they are cheaper and removable.
You do need to check what you are getting though, as some of the very cheap ones are nothing more than a resistor in a box that fool the engine into thinking the air temperature is lower so they add more fuel.

I'm also sceptical about the improved mpg claims. They change the amount of fuel delivered so it's using more than the ECU expects, hence introducing an inaccuracy on the trip computer.