Be Excellent To Each Other

What would you have if money was no object?

Oooh crikey, now you're asking. I think it would have to be a whole garage of bikes; I mean, I'd love a completely bespoke, hand-built hardtail chop - but have you ever tried riding one? Fuck me, 3 miles in and it's chiropractor-o-clock. You'd want at least three or four bikes to do different things, just as you would for a money-no-object car garage.

I dunno really, but I love shit like this as a starting point, I could just fill my house with these bikes just to look at 'em, they mean more to me than 99.99% of the (IMO) shit that passes as "art" these days.

How about you? (or anyone else for that matter)

I'd have a classic bike, something that I can sell in 10 years to put the Grimlet through uni.

I'd fucking *love* a Vincent Black Shadow, but that feels too obvious, so I'll go for a BSA DBD34 Gold Star.

If that's the single cylinder one, I'm with you all the way. For me, still one of the most stunningly beautiful bikes of all time, so drop-dead gorgeous in the metal it even left me speechless and silent when I saw one at a classic bike show yonks back. A masterpiece.

Shit, we used to build some amazing stuff.

If I was doing classic bikes it would be a late 80s / early 90s Yamaha sports bike I think.
Hmm....

RD500YPVS? You know you want to, now there's a lovely, reliable bike you could use every day.

*** Disclaimer ***
It really isn't (but fecking awesome). Suzook RG500 Gamma even better still.... man these bikes were legends

I'd be happy with a nice FZR1000, but I doubt there *is* a nice one left.

Nice back in the day, I like 'em You might well still find an unmolested ThunderAce?

If it's 80s Jap though, fire-snorting 2-stroke monster all the way, man. A modern day R1 is the direct descendant of the FZR and its genes are well apparent, but an RD, RG or even a Kwack triple...? We'll never see their like again.

I well remember my first 2-stroke powerband experience. As mindblowing as it was unexpected; shit, it's one of the most utterly profound and landmark moments of my life. The Porsche can't even shine a candle on these wild, vicious, wonderful old machines (and their demise is why I hate environmentalists so much). RIP.

The triumph rocket 3 advert is a Thing of excellence. Velocette mac70 for me, now if I could just find the time to build it...

Focus RS review

http://www.autocar.co.uk/car-review/for ... -rs-review

Oooh snazzy, and under £30K too.

I'd be hard pushed to choose between that and the new Type-R if I were to go insane and actually buy* a car costing that much.....



* Finance.

I'd deffo have one. Think I'm just going to have to settle for the Fiesta ST in a couple of years' time.

Got to admit, that's just awesome. Want.

It looks fucking brutal, doesn't it?

Yeah, and you just know they've really nailed it this time; for once I believe the hype - Ford want to (re)stamp their authority on the RS moniker, you can see they've spent real money re-engineering stuff just for this car, from obvious things like the 4wd system to bespoke aero etc.

Those performance stats are just amazing - 30mpg and Cayman-kicking performance levels, sub £30k pricetag, a car you can use everyday and take the kids to school, but it looks great to boot, just like you say. Fairly or unfairly, for me this has just got so much more appeal and attitude than something like a Golf R (as well as costing less).

I'd still go Mustang but this is a very, very compelling package IMO. I'd go for one of these in black, personally...

I'm not usually one for judging people by their car but I have never, ever seen a fast type Ford Focus being driven by someone who doesn't at least look like a total prick. 99 times out of a hundred they'll have absolutely awful house music blaring out too.

Gah, I gave up thinking about what people think about me driving my car, or bike, or whatevs years ago?

I know you're not really saying this as such Mark so am not aiming this comment at you (at all), but people tend to resent what you got whatever it is, if it's out of the ordinary? Balls to em I say, this looks like a damn good car.

The RS seems to hold its value pretty well but the STs drop down into 'chav money' territory reasonably quickly - and to the casual observer they probably look pretty similar.

One of the car dealers over here brings quite a lot of Fords over, particularly STs that are down into £6000-£8000 territory, plus he has a Facebook page where he posts the details of new cars and they tend to get quite a few comments, I've got to be honest and say that a cursory look at the profiles of the lads who express interest in the STs does suggest a 'certain market sector' will be going for them.

I agree with Cavey though, who gives a shit? It's like when I had the Scooby, I knew the connotations it came with but to hell with it, I'll just be a boring bloke in his mid 30s (as I was at the time ) driving around in it, and if people want to think I'm a Burberry toting chav (or whatever the assumption is) then so be it.

And beyond all that I can see a Focus ST being very appealing to a bloke in his early twenties, they're reasonably priced, reliable, fast, practical and insurable - so fair play to them, I'm not going to resent them having their fun in a fast car

I don't believe anyone who reckons they don't care what anyone thinks about them, unless they're literally a psychopath or something. And whilst I haven't generally observed most stereotypes about cars to be particularly true my own prejudice against sporty Focusseses has been borne out in practically every encounter. Every one I've seen was being driven like a cunt, by a cunt. Like I say, just my experience, but it's enough to make me not want to ever get behind the wheel of one.

That's not what I'm saying, of course I care what (some) people think about me in relation to (some) things, but assumptions based on the car I happen to sat behind the wheel of - not so much.

Also, what is the proper plural for Focus? Foci? Focuses?

Don't get me wrong I'm not consumed with worry over what anyone thinks of my car but nor would I want to be driving round in one with "TOTAL BELLEND" written up the side in foot tall letters.

I probably do care, but so little that it fails to register. Hence I drive a Ford Puma (that I have to fold myself into) with a stupidly huge stereo and listen to house music

Yeah but to be fair bud, it's not like anyone is going to call you a cunt, now is it?

They might do, but he won't hear them over the stereo.

If they were basing it on my taste in music I'm not sure it'd have that much impact anyway.

In other news, this reminds me of two geezers who pulled into our (geriatric) reprobates' biker (ish) pub/dive last summer resplendent in sparkling Mk II RS Focuses (Focii? ) next to our line of hogs, both trick as fook they were and both of them"over 450bhp blueprinted, mapped and dynoed" apparently (I always have a sneaking admiration for a guy who keeps his steed's dyno power graph in his wallet for instant access).

Fuck knows why they wanted to pull in to our pub; both were shaven-headed, multi-coloured jacket types, prob early 30s - but they were absolutely top blokes, we talked about their cars for ages and I thought they were shit hot. Never judge a book by its cover for me; most petrolheads are absolutely sound IMO and these guys loved their cars.

You used to drive an MX-5 which some people call a hairdresser's car. It's not much different tbh. You either give a fuck or you don't.

Um, so do I give a fuck or not then?

No one knows now, it's all got very confusing.

Yeah, I've now got this image of markg as an automotive Roman emperor of sorts; you humbly present your mode of transport and, terrified, await your fate with a protracted, agonisingly slow thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

Puma cunt.

Never fancied a ford... well, apart from Mk1 & 2 Escorts. While that Focus sounds good on paper, like Mark said, they're twat-mobiles, so I'd never like one myself. Standard spec Fords are so commonplace and boring I always dismiss those too when ever I'm looking for a car. Much sooner have a Type-R or Cupra if I was going for a sports hatch, although pretty sure my next car will be a Merc or Audi diesel.

I drive a shit car and don't give a toss what anyone thinks.

I bet you wear a hoodie, too. You fucking scumbag.

I drive a brown Skoda, so clearly other people's opinions didn't feature too highly in my decision making process.

Nothing wrong with that, I hear Skodas are very well made, practical and reasonably priced. The M&S Blue Harbour of the car world.

Not at the moment but yes, sometimes I do.

Jesus, you monster. I bet you have a tattoo as well, you wife-beater.

I am not liking the way the conversation is going *puts down stella, pulls huddie down to cover tattoos*

Heh. I've been refused entry to establishments even as late as last summer, because of my mode of transport/attire/appearance.

Badge of honour, I love it.

No. I don't have a tattoo. I have two. I also beat my wife at solitaire the other day. Does that count?

Are the tattoos video game related? If so... doesn't count

I'm not convinced you grasp how solitaire works

You're right, I don't! It was actually Othello.

Good cars - I miss mine

I drive a Honda Jazz. There's nothing anyone could say about it that I've not said myself.

Honda...(wait for it)...Jizz, more like.

I drive a silver Picasso. It's full of kid's seats, blankets and wet wipes. It's a proper, 100% Dad-mobile.

I love it

I was wrong, I've never heard that one before

It's my third TDI Octavia Elegance, so they must be doing something right or I'm really predictable.