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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 16:38 
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I see the pattern now:
Boring car
Crazy car
Boring car
Crazy car

Can't wait to see the next crazy car in Feb.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 17:33 
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It's a perfectly worthy car, Hearthly, but what possessed you to buy it? We both know it's never going to scratch any automotive itch you're likely to be having anytime soon, and so you'll be trading it in at a £2k loss in 2-3 months. Stop kidding yourself, just get the car you actually want and then keep it for a bit; you ain't Mister Sensible any more than I am!

iPhone compatibility and toys etc. are no substitute for charisma. Fine if you're a dull, boring 'it gets me from A to B' drone, but you're just not, which in my book is a good (if expensive) thing.

No idea why you don't do as I suggested: get a worthy family car for £10k and a Caterham for £15k, for the weekends (which basically never loses any depreciation and is better, more interactive and more rewarding to drive than any £25k hot hatch. Not sure about iPhone compatibility though ;) )

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 17:40 
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Cavey, what are the bits at about shoulder height on the seats of a Cayman? Do they tip forwards?

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 17:43 
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MaliA wrote:
Cavey, what are the bits at about shoulder height on the seats of a Cayman? Do they tip forwards?


Got a piccy so I know what you mean?
My GT4 has the 918 Spyder's carbon fibre jobbies optioned, which are one-piece.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 17:50 
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Cavey wrote:
MaliA wrote:
Cavey, what are the bits at about shoulder height on the seats of a Cayman? Do they tip forwards?


Got a piccy so I know what you mean?
My GT4 has the 918 Spyder's carbon fibre jobbies optioned, which are one-piece.


The silver bits


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 17:54 
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That's the handle you lift up, then you flip down the stop half of the seat and gain access to the back of the seat, if something had fallen down there or is under the seat.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 18:02 
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Is it not just that they used the same seats from the ones with the tiny little back seats? Seems a lot of engineering to do just in case someone loses something down the back of the seat.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 18:03 
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Oh, probably, but it very, very occasionally comes in useful.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 18:12 
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Ta. I was parked next to one earlier (had winter tyres on) and was idly curious before I fell asleep.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 18:28 
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Paws for thought

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Cavey wrote:
It's a perfectly worthy car, Hearthly, but what possessed you to buy it? We both know it's never going to scratch any automotive itch you're likely to be having anytime soon, and so you'll be trading it in at a £2k loss in 2-3 months.


That's pretty much a given regardless of what car he bought.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 18:32 
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:D

I'm an optimist... ;)

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 19:17 
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People will fuck you up no matter how fast you're going when you overtake them (or in any other situation). Having the go and stop of a performance car is a safety feature in my mind.

The other week I was overtaking someone doing 40 in a 60. As I started moving in front of them having accelerated to 60ish and a car came round the bend a couple of hundred yards away they put their foot down, but I didn't notice immediately. stuck between a rock and a hard place I put the other couple of hundred ftlb in and finished the overtake instead of emergency braking (my car has very big brakes but it accelerates in frankly terrifying fashion from 40+).

It's the first time I've thought that someone literally decided to try and kill me rather than just being a penis.

I don't even drive a stupid-to-look-at car though I guess BMW drivers must be punished at any opportunity.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 19:24 
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Yeah, dawdlers who then accelerate as fast as they can just because you have the temerity to overtake them have to be one of my biggest pet hates on the road. The solution, as you suggest, is to have more power, not less. :D

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 19:30 
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I hate people who do 40 in a 60 then carry on into a 30 at 40 more. At least people who behave like a twat when I overtake are paying SOME kind of attention.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 19:43 
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Heh. Well, just do what I do and undertake them. Easy peasy. :)

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 9:25 
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Cavey wrote:
Heh. Well, just do what I do and undertake them. Easy peasy. :)

Not many 30mph roads that have enough lanes for that, I'd have thought.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 11:09 
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I've been thinking which is more likely to cause an accident: Driving under the limit in the Right Lane, or undertaking at speed?

Hmm...

Of course, if bumblers just got out of the fucking way, we wouldn't have a problem. The Rockferry Bypass on the A41 is a two-lane 50mph road with no junctions along its 2.5mile (ish) length. People still dawdle in the right land at 45. Dicks.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 11:12 
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60mph dual carriageways aren't 30mph roads.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 11:24 
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I think you might have missed a post, Cavey :)

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 16:53 
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Hello Hello Hello

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Seat Leon get!

EXCITING ANDROID AUTO STUFF:

Android Auto is awesome. You have to plug your phone in using a cable which sucks a bit, then say YES/APPROVE/AGREE to about three million permission screens and some updates for the app on the phone itself, and thereafter it really is phone stuff but on your car's touchscreen.

Since Mrs Hearthly was with me I asked her to send me a WhatsApp message to test it and it popped up on the car's screen with her icon and everything, and then when I tapped it on it the car read out the message to me. She was tickled by this and then bombarded me with messages such as 'Show me your big dick', 'I like big butts and I cannot lie', 'See my big boobies', and a load of Simpsons names from when Bart used to ring up Moe's asking for 'Hugh Jass' and suchlike, all of which the car dutifully read out until I was forced to ban her from interacting with the technology any further.

It also gives you a little button to tap reading 'I'm driving right now' which auto-sends that message back.

I've still got to have a more thorough play with it but I was very impressed. You can do voice commands for everything as well and interact with it just like the normal Google Assistant on a phone.

Probably worth plugging in a cable for, it's that good.

BORING ACTUAL CAR STUFF:

It's exactly what you would expect, an Audi A3 estate wearing a Spanish wig and costing substantially less than its VW/Audi cousins.

Very nice to drive, was indicating 50mpg for our journey, comfortable, reasonably swift, lovely infotainment system although missing a few toys that the Type-R had (which I already knew about).

So gone are reversing camera (meh), auto-dimming rear view mirror (that stings a bit), road sign recognition (not overly useful but I thought it was cool), auto lights (never used them), auto wipers (would rather have than not), keyless entry and ignition (woohoo fuck off keyless!).

But yeah, it's a Seat Leon estate so nothing to get too excited about, the lights are really cool though (see video below) and it has RGB ambient lighting in the cabin that you can choose the colour of.

Not a bad motor at all TBH.



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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:12 
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Hearthly wrote:
auto lights (never used them)

Why not?

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:21 
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Grim... wrote:
Hearthly wrote:
auto lights (never used them)

Why not?


Never went out in the dark.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:23 
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Grim... wrote:
Hearthly wrote:
auto lights (never used them)

Why not?

The wife doesn't use hers either. But she's weird.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:24 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

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I use mine all the time... saves me playing with knobs

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:24 
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Grim... wrote:
Hearthly wrote:
auto lights (never used them)

Why not?

Because every time you take your car into the garage, they turn them off.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:33 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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KovacsC wrote:
I use mine all the time... saves me playing with knobs

What the fuck are you doing here then


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:36 
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Master of dodgy spelling....

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ApplePieOfDestiny wrote:
KovacsC wrote:
I use mine all the time... saves me playing with knobs

What the fuck are you doing here then


I ask that a lot... :P

I do like the Heathly rants over silly things :)

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:38 
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Joans wrote:
Grim... wrote:
Hearthly wrote:
auto lights (never used them)

Why not?

Because every time you take your car into the garage, they turn them off.

:DD

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:44 
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Why do garages do that? I had to take the BMW to the tyre place next door for a puncture repair on Friday and then drove halfway to Manchester at dusk before realising my lights weren't on.

The BMW's auto lights are amazeballs. Not only does it turn the dipped lights on automatically, it turns the main beam on automatically too. BUT, it detects oncoming traffic and traffic in my lane and selectively turns off part of the main beam so that I get the benefit of main beam in the bits I can't see, without blinding the oncoming drivers.

When following a car on a twisty road, it's quite spellbinding as the lights also move where they're pointing laterally, so it looks like the light beam is "chasing" the car in front.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:45 
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This is fine in my current car as the lights have a setting that says Auto. However my first Clio that had auto lights did not. I just thought they had stopped working. Turns out the garage had turned them off.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:50 
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GazChap wrote:
The BMW's auto lights are amazeballs. Not only does it turn the dipped lights on automatically, it turns the main beam on automatically too. BUT, it detects oncoming traffic and traffic in my lane and selectively turns off part of the main beam so that I get the benefit of main beam in the bits I can't see, without blinding the oncoming drivers.
holy shit that sounds ace


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:53 
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Y'know I think I'd prefer it if they just made headlights not be sun-bright points of brilliance, like in the good old days, when none of the current ridiculous level of engineering workaround was necessary.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:56 
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Gogmagog

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We should have a mirror so it is daylight all year around because fuck you, owls.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 17:57 
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GazChap wrote:
I get the benefit of main beam in the bits I can't see, without blinding the oncoming drivers.

You say that, but having been both in front of you and on the receiving end of magic BMW headlights, they're still blinding as all fuck.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 18:00 
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GazChap wrote:
Why do garages do that? I had to take the BMW to the tyre place next door for a puncture repair on Friday and then drove halfway to Manchester at dusk before realising my lights weren't on.

I'm assuming the lights are permanently on in the workshop, which kind of annoys them. It would be nice if they remembered to put them back on though.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 18:46 
Filthy Junkie Bitch

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The lights on my car (that I’ve driven in the dark 90% of the time) are so auto that I’ve just had to look at the owners manual to find where the switch is.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 19:23 
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Back out at £22K which in all fairness seems about right, the Leon was up at £19K and he gave me a cheque for £1000. The Type-R needs a couple of rear tyres (£270) but other than that is good to go, so he's taking about what I'd expect on his end.

Also, he left a big bunch of flowers in the passenger footwell for Mrs Hearthly and a valeting kit for me as a thanks for the custom, which is a very nice touch. He asked for positive feedback and/or a review on Facebook and good word-of-mouth if I was minded to do so, which I will gladly do as they've been a very good business to deal with. Not pushy, happy to let me look around and take different cars out for a drive (I've test driven three cars from there in the last week or so), and have generally come across as a professional operation.

Oh yes as for the auto-lights just don't really like them, I've had them on a few cars now, and I've found there are many situations where the car doesn't turn them on, but you'd really want your headlights on. For example it can often be really shitty visibility up on the mountain, foggy and rainy but still quite 'bright' from an ambient light perspective, so the car would be quite happy to crack on with no lights at all, and yet visibility for everyone is total shit. It's not just an 'is it dark and if so turn the lights on' sort of deal IMO.

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 19:32 
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If you were my customer I'd buy you flowers every week!

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 1:20 
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How does a civic need rear tyres after 3 months? I rotated the ones on my ep3 front to back periodically and didn't actually need to change them at all in over 2 years (including a go on oulton park), I just hated the Bridgestones it came with so swapped all four for Toyos.

It looks like it's got positive camber in the photo there but the fn2/fk2 always looked bizarre in the rear quarter so it's probably not.

Which makes it all the more hilarious how much I've spent on tyres on this barge in 4 years I guess.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:09 
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Love the android auto stuff, most funny.

Auto lights partly explains why it seems so many fuckers have their lights on beam all the time. I thought it was part of a general obsession with electric lights (ooh, it is something less than fluorescently lit in here, I shall call it 'dark' and switch on the lights) and down to related terrible eyesight. Also, isn't it generally considered rude/bad form to drive through, say, villages, beaming light through people's houses? Anyway, glad to hear some people don't use them, or won't till they get to be as good as those BM ones sound.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:11 
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BikNorton wrote:
How does a civic need rear tyres after 3 months? I rotated the ones on my ep3 front to back periodically and didn't actually need to change them at all in over 2 years (including a go on oulton park), I just hated the Bridgestones it came with so swapped all four for Toyos.

It looks like it's got positive camber in the photo there but the fn2/fk2 always looked bizarre in the rear quarter so it's probably not.

Which makes it all the more hilarious how much I've spent on tyres on this barge in 4 years I guess.


He put two new front tyres on the Type-R when I got it, I suspect he rotated the fronts at the time onto the back, or the backs were still the originals the car came with. (Probably the latter, come to think about it.)


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 19:55 
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FEEL THE ECONOMY.

It was just over 55mg as I cruised into town but the final bit of driving knocked it back down a bit.

Getting it remapped next week, there's a good company locally that does them. He says this engine maps out nicely to 220-225bhp (actual bhp is verified on a dyno afterwards) with nicer driving characteristics and improved fuel economy depending on driving style.

It's a really good car to drive anyway and Android Auto is totally the business, I know it's just Google Assistant really but it's dead good having it properly integrated with your car. I've managed to get a REALLY SHORT micro-USB cable from the mobile team guys at work which makes plugging the phone in whilst in its little cubby-hole much more practical.

I'm a bit confused about remaps overall and how you can get more power as well as improved fuel economy but it's all to do with emissions shit and stuff apparently and someone at work said that diesels run rich at standard maps to cut down on NOX so the remap makes them use fuel more completely and other stuff as well and it's technical plus you kill the planet more but we've got another one right?

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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 20:12 
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The improved economy is total bollocks, though you’ll often see a higher figure on the trip computer.
As the fuelling and boost parameters have been changed, the trip computer gets less accurate and will overestimate your mpg.
Do some proper brim to brim calculations and you’ll be able to make a true comparison.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 20:26 
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Dr Zoidberg wrote:
The improved economy is total bollocks, though you’ll often see a higher figure on the trip computer.
As the fuelling and boost parameters have been changed, the trip computer gets less accurate and will overestimate your mpg.
Do some proper brim to brim calculations and you’ll be able to make a true comparison.


Hmm I see, so are they a good idea or not? If overall economy stays the same but other stuff gets better then it's still a positive result overall?

At 184bhp (and apparently they're often more like 190bhp when got on a dyno), this car is hardly an underpowered slouch to start with.

Maybe I should just leave it alone. The remap guy has said he's got slots available next week but I haven't actually booked the car in yet.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 20:27 
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A proper remap on a modern engine should give accurate numbers, it's piggy back boxes and other 'external' tuning that messes it up. The computer still knows how many miles are being done and the amount of fuel that's being injected.

I leave mine displaying 'miles til empty' (trying to play mind games on myself) and it's rarely far out. I get worse consumption than before but that's right-foot related (turns out my mind games don't work very well, who knew).


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 20:42 
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Well, also because half the injectors are failing beyond the ability of the ecu to compensate.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 20:55 
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Hearthly wrote:

I'm a bit confused about remaps overall and how you can get more power as well as improved fuel economy but it's all to do with emissions shit and stuff apparently and someone at work said that diesels run rich at standard maps to cut down on NOX so the remap makes them use fuel more completely and other stuff as well and it's technical plus you kill the planet more but we've got another one right?
NOx doesn't kill the planet, it kills people. It's toxic at pretty low levels and is the main contributor to dangerous street-level air pollution in urban areas. It's responsible for tens of thousands of premature deaths per year.

https://www.londonair.org.uk/LondonAir/ ... IsNO2.aspx

https://unearthed.greenpeace.org/2017/0 ... ck-linked/


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 21:05 
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Hello Hello Hello

Joined: 11th May, 2008
Posts: 13381
Doctor Glyndwr wrote:
Hearthly wrote:

I'm a bit confused about remaps overall and how you can get more power as well as improved fuel economy but it's all to do with emissions shit and stuff apparently and someone at work said that diesels run rich at standard maps to cut down on NOX so the remap makes them use fuel more completely and other stuff as well and it's technical plus you kill the planet more but we've got another one right?
NOx doesn't kill the planet, it kills people. It's toxic at pretty low levels and is the main contributor to dangerous street-level air pollution in urban areas. It's responsible for tens of thousands of premature deaths per year.

https://www.londonair.org.uk/LondonAir/ ... IsNO2.aspx

https://unearthed.greenpeace.org/2017/0 ... ck-linked/


I was being flippant and of course it's not a subject to be flippant about but it's one of those things whereby I have no real idea what the best thing to do is, considering that so many aspects of our modern lifestyles are directly ruinous in terms of the planet, other people (at home or abroad), the long-term sustainability of the human race and indeed life on Earth and so on. (It's like, all those heavy metals they need for all our favourites gadgets and gizmos, getting that shit out of the ground is nasty.)

And when they said to Google 'Stop dodging taxes!' and the big Google dude just said 'Change the law to what you want us to do, and we'll do it, in the meantime we're going to maximise shareholder value by all legal means available to us'.

So I kind of go, 'Yeah I'd like to get my car remapped to make it nicer, if it were that bad it'd probably be against the law'.

Which is clearly complete bollocks but if we thought through everything we do/buy/engage with/etc on an ethical basis no one would get out of fucking bed in the morning. *


* EDIT - Apart from nice people like nurses and stuff.


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 21:39 
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Joined: 15th Oct, 2010
Posts: 5134
Hearthly wrote:
Dr Zoidberg wrote:
The improved economy is total bollocks, though you’ll often see a higher figure on the trip computer.
As the fuelling and boost parameters have been changed, the trip computer gets less accurate and will overestimate your mpg.
Do some proper brim to brim calculations and you’ll be able to make a true comparison.


Hmm I see, so are they a good idea or not? If overall economy stays the same but other stuff gets better then it's still a positive result overall?

At 184bhp (and apparently they're often more like 190bhp when got on a dyno), this car is hardly an underpowered slouch to start with.

Maybe I should just leave it alone. The remap guy has said he's got slots available next week but I haven't actually booked the car in yet.


There’s no harm in a good remap from a reputable tuner but there’s no point rushing into it. Wait till you get bored and then get it done (or change the car again).


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 Post subject: Re: Gas Guzzling Money Pits
PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 21:48 
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Joined: 30th Mar, 2008
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Dr Zoidberg wrote:
There’s no harm in a good remap from a reputable tuner

If that's true, why don't cars come from the OEM already tuned that way?


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