Be Excellent To Each Other

Don't get me wrong I'm not consumed with worry over what anyone thinks of my car but nor would I want to be driving round in one with "TOTAL BELLEND" written up the side in foot tall letters.

I probably do care, but so little that it fails to register. Hence I drive a Ford Puma (that I have to fold myself into) with a stupidly huge stereo and listen to house music

Yeah but to be fair bud, it's not like anyone is going to call you a cunt, now is it?

They might do, but he won't hear them over the stereo.

If they were basing it on my taste in music I'm not sure it'd have that much impact anyway.

In other news, this reminds me of two geezers who pulled into our (geriatric) reprobates' biker (ish) pub/dive last summer resplendent in sparkling Mk II RS Focuses (Focii? ) next to our line of hogs, both trick as fook they were and both of them"over 450bhp blueprinted, mapped and dynoed" apparently (I always have a sneaking admiration for a guy who keeps his steed's dyno power graph in his wallet for instant access).

Fuck knows why they wanted to pull in to our pub; both were shaven-headed, multi-coloured jacket types, prob early 30s - but they were absolutely top blokes, we talked about their cars for ages and I thought they were shit hot. Never judge a book by its cover for me; most petrolheads are absolutely sound IMO and these guys loved their cars.

You used to drive an MX-5 which some people call a hairdresser's car. It's not much different tbh. You either give a fuck or you don't.

Um, so do I give a fuck or not then?

No one knows now, it's all got very confusing.

Yeah, I've now got this image of markg as an automotive Roman emperor of sorts; you humbly present your mode of transport and, terrified, await your fate with a protracted, agonisingly slow thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

Puma cunt.

Never fancied a ford... well, apart from Mk1 & 2 Escorts. While that Focus sounds good on paper, like Mark said, they're twat-mobiles, so I'd never like one myself. Standard spec Fords are so commonplace and boring I always dismiss those too when ever I'm looking for a car. Much sooner have a Type-R or Cupra if I was going for a sports hatch, although pretty sure my next car will be a Merc or Audi diesel.

I drive a shit car and don't give a toss what anyone thinks.

I bet you wear a hoodie, too. You fucking scumbag.

I drive a brown Skoda, so clearly other people's opinions didn't feature too highly in my decision making process.

Nothing wrong with that, I hear Skodas are very well made, practical and reasonably priced. The M&S Blue Harbour of the car world.

Not at the moment but yes, sometimes I do.

Jesus, you monster. I bet you have a tattoo as well, you wife-beater.

I am not liking the way the conversation is going *puts down stella, pulls huddie down to cover tattoos*

Heh. I've been refused entry to establishments even as late as last summer, because of my mode of transport/attire/appearance.

Badge of honour, I love it.

No. I don't have a tattoo. I have two. I also beat my wife at solitaire the other day. Does that count?

Are the tattoos video game related? If so... doesn't count

I'm not convinced you grasp how solitaire works

You're right, I don't! It was actually Othello.

Good cars - I miss mine

I drive a Honda Jazz. There's nothing anyone could say about it that I've not said myself.

Honda...(wait for it)...Jizz, more like.

I drive a silver Picasso. It's full of kid's seats, blankets and wet wipes. It's a proper, 100% Dad-mobile.

I love it

I was wrong, I've never heard that one before

It's my third TDI Octavia Elegance, so they must be doing something right or I'm really predictable.

I was looking after Gaywood's cars for a while, and a fence blew into his Picasso. If the Picasso wasn't there, it would have hit the (much newer) Skoda.

I decided that the Picasso had bravely jumped in the way to save the Skoda, and renamed it the Kick-asso.

And now I need a bumper sticker...

Yup, that's me!

"Powered by Mekon dust"

My other car is a Doomsday Chair.

I love a fast, tarted up ford (I had an Fiesta Zetec S, then a Focus ST with side stripes* and was toying with the idea of pushing for a Mk2 RS) but that new RS isn't really doing it for me. I've never been keen on the 3rd gen focus appearance and that interior looks horridly cluttered.

I'm probably due a midlife crisis soon, but am still being sensible. Gah.

*I generally drove nicely and saved hooning for clear roads (that's still bad, admittedly), but my wife was and still is a terrible tailgater.

One word: Falcon.

Just as well really, as Ford has announced that the allocation (in the UK, at least) is only 4000 cars and I'd be surprised if there are any left seeing as there were around 2000 orders on their books months ago.

Man, this sort of thing brasses me off, we see this all the time? Porsche are the worst culprits; the Cayman GT4 sold out within mere hours (they could've easily shifted ten times the 2,000 car allocation), and as for the GT3RS, don't even get me started - a "serial 911 buyer" I know didn't even get so much as a sniff. IDGI.

Surely it behoves Ford, Porsche or whomever to very profitably sell these cars to meet demand, because the more of these fantastic halo cars on the road, the better, there's no finer advertising. Are Ford really saying they'd rather their punters - RS has an incredibly loyal following, as do Porsche GT cars - went around in a cruddy Focus "Zetec" or ill-sorted ST, because that's all they could get?

What a load of arse, I say. My Porsche dealer has the brass neck to sell a "secondhand" Cayman GT4 with naff all options for "offers over £100k", when the brand new list price is only £64k (and the punters are fighting over it, believe me), how's that for taking the piss out of your customers?

Gnngh. So basically we increasingly routinely now have to read about "Giant tests" in car mags comprising of cars you can't buy, which is very frustrating and stupid.

Is there some sort of average target they have to meet with regard to emissions that might be a factor?

Remember how Aston Martin had to sell a load of rebadged Toyota iQ (the Cygnet , I think) superminis that one time?

Ah right, I might've known eco-shite had something to do with it.

Note that I was asking, I have no idea for sure.

I see one of those around here all the time, the fucking thing is hilarious.

I always assumed Aston Martin would just make them to satisfy the eco-stuff, but then immediately set fire to them all or hide them in a big barn somewhere like Hershel's zombie family, I'm astounded anyone actually bought one.

Yeah I know mate, but now you mention it it does ring a faint, tedious bell. It figures.

Hilariously, some TDI econobox is probably more harmful to health in any meaningful, tangible sense than ever a Focus RS is, or even Cayman GT4, but let's not go there again, don't think I could stand it.

Can you imagine the type of person who *did* buy one? Man alive, that's some concept. Just how much of a bellend would you have to be to spend £30k or whatever on a rebadged Toyota IQ (which is bad enough when it costs £10k and was binned off in short order IIRC)

I don't think it's anything to do with that, Aston Martin only had to do it because all their other cars are Aston Martins.

Not sure what Ford's reasoning is but I'm sure that if they calculated that there was a huge profits to be made by making a hundred thousand of them then they would. Perhaps they're too expensive to make or maybe they'll be highly strung and back at the dealers all the time and it's just an exercise in building the brand or something.

Dunno Mark; that wouldn't make much sense with the Cayman GT4 as it only runs a stock (in fact detuned) 911 GTS 3.8 litre engine and a boggo 6-speed manual 'box, so has "standard" running gear, but can't speak for more mainstream stuff like the Focus RS.

Lower supply increases demand
Limited factory time
Less profitable and lower volumes
Shit demand planning
Availability of components


I guess