When asked if the result was a positive smear test or a confirmed diagnosis of cancer, Mr Clifford said: "No, it is cancer."

I've just been reading Popbitch

But how will the doctors know which end to examine?

You've got it easy, I was just eating a muffin.

I bought a muffin from work and ate half of it before I noticed it had mould in the middle.

Blech

Why are people with cancer always termed brave? It's not like they've got much fucking choice about it.

Untrue! Maddie is also "brave" as is anyone else who the papers decide is worth of being "brave".

I used to be a New Romantic/Goth hybrid about 22 years ago, so I can't *ahem* agree

Didn't Danielle Lloyd try the same thing? Tits out in the papers every day for a year and a cancer scare?

Oh dear, excellent chums, this poor person has cancer.
Isn't that sad?

Oh dear, excellent chums, this poor person has cancer.
Isn't that sad?

What are the latest statistics - 1/3 of people will develop some sort of cancer in their lifetime?

1/3rd of people will be "affected" by cancer, defined as, they or an immediate family member get it.

Has she suddenly lost the ability to walk then? What a load of fucking shit.

I find it hard to muster a lot of sympathy for anyone I don't know or that doesn't affect anyone I don't know though, to be honest.

I was carted around through the hospital in a wheelchair when I broke my wrist. I was told I wasn't allowed to walk for myself, for some health & safety reason. Possibly because I was doped up to the high heavens on morphine though. God damn that stuff is good.

I believe that photo was taken outside an clinic in India, so the H&S is probably not quite as tight.

Ah - wow, that makes a massive difference to the statistics. Gosh.

It's different for different people to be fair though dude. A mate of mine died a few years ago from a brain tumour and in his last few months he could barely get out of bed anymore. He stayed very positive for as long as he possibly could though.

Doesn't Max clifford charge £20k pcm for representation? There's obviously money in being a ugly moron pap magnet nowadays!

Doesn't Max clifford charge £20k pcm for representation? There's obviously money in being a ugly moron pap magnet nowadays!

If she hasn't got it and it's all a publicity stunt, well...

I don't like make-up, I think it looks fake. If you're ugly, smearing a few coloured chemicals on your face isn't going to help. Less is better, none is best. Like most things we've been socially engineered to believe that the constant application of make-up is preferable to looking normal.