Be Excellent To Each Other

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7569616.stm

I'll sum up my feelings by pasting an msn convo I just had with a mate:

Pote says:
you know what occurs to me mike?
mikey says:
nein?
Pote says:
max clifford is a cunning man
Pote says:
now, consider jade
Pote says:
a retarded fuckbucket
Pote says:
her appearance on BB India could either fortify their hatred of her, or improve her ratings
Pote says:
now
Pote says:
because jade is such a tool, there was no guarantee of a positive outcome
Pote says:
unless she left halfway through with a medical condition that engendered sympathy
Pote says:
£10 says the cancer is a 'false alarm'
Pote says:
and a PR stunt

I don't think even Jade would go as low as to fake cancer in order to revive her career

That sounds like a confirmation to me. I don't think Max Clifford would be stupid enough to do this - if it is a hoax and it ever came out, both their reputations would be destroyed completely.

Not that Jade's got much of one already, of course.

Well, I'm staking a tenner on it, and not my life, but it just seems possible to me. Like you say Gaz, not much to lose. Even if she got found out there'd be another couple of mil to be earned selling the story of WHY I DID THIS DESPERATE THING.

Clifford, of course, will claim he was misled, best intentions, etc, blahblah, so he'll be fine.

FTFY!

But yeah, that's what the vibe has been on there this morning.

Didn't Danielle Lloyd try the same thing? Tits out in the papers every day for a year and a cancer scare?

I await someone to tell us off for voicing these opinions. However on these matters I trust Popbitch far more than most sources to second guess these things simply because there are so many well connected PR people on there.

I don't read Popbitch, but I'll assume they're also shrewd geniuses, like me

But how will the doctors know which end to examine?

Dude, I'm trying to eat my lunch here

You've got it easy, I was just eating a muffin.

So was I, and mine had jam in the middle.

I bought a muffin from work and ate half of it before I noticed it had mould in the middle.

Blech

Even if this does turn out to be true, you can bet it will be cynically manipulated to make the most money possible.

Expect "Brave Jade - an exclusive interview" in this weekends News of the Screws.

Why are people with cancer always termed brave? It's not like they've got much fucking choice about it.

I got some bread rolls from a petrol station a few weeks back. They were "long-life" which I thought odd (they had a date 8 weeks away). I started to eat them and they were moldy on the bottoms.

How the fuck you make longlife bread I don't know. I'm not talking that 7 day stuff, I'm talking 3 months!

Untrue! Maddie is also "brave" as is anyone else who the papers decide is worth of being "brave".

yep - my first thought was that she was trying to get some of that Brave Kylie good press.

It's like tabloid "stunnas"
Most of them look rough as fuck in the flesh with full make up on...

I don't like make-up, I think it looks fake. If you're ugly, smearing a few coloured chemicals on your face isn't going to help. Less is better, none is best. Like most things we've been socially engineered to believe that the constant application of make-up is preferable to looking normal.

I used to be a New Romantic/Goth hybrid about 22 years ago, so I can't *ahem* agree

No doubt Jade will accuse Shilpa Poppadom of using some 'weird fuckin' paki magic on her as revenge, innit'.

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

Finger cancer? Fuck off.

My thoughts exactly.

Hahaha, finger cancer? I thought we made that up at the Notts meet.

She got it during her Biochemistry degree.

Oh dear, excellent chums, this poor person has cancer.
Isn't that sad?

*If* it turns out to be true and *if* she doesn't milk it for all it's worth, then yes.

But as many people on Popbitch have said, there is something more than a little fishy about all this*. How many consultants do you know would be happy for someone to be told they had cancer in the diary room? Max Clifford handling the PR? The fact she knew that something was up before she went out there?

Something isn't quite right. It's certainly being manipulated for the advantage of her career. Who goes on a reality TV show when you are apparently waiting for test results?

Apparently she's now being papped being wheeled around in a fucking wheelchair!



Wonder who tipped the paps off she'd be there? Certainly not Max!


* Insert obvious gag here.

Has she suddenly lost the ability to walk then? What a load of fucking shit.

It's a horrible thing, and it's not nice for anyone. I find it hard to muster a lot of sympathy for anyone I don't know or that doesn't affect anyone I don't know though, to be honest. What are the latest statistics - 1/3 of people will develop some sort of cancer in their lifetime?

I had a look at popbitch and found these to be acebest:

katwoman 10:06, arf, barf, reply
Of all the cancers she could get, she goes and gets CUNT CANCER.

tryhard_fashionvictim 12:39, arf, barf, reply
What with Glitter being released it's been a good day for sick twats.

It was Jordan. But the big titted racist also tried it:

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/31013/danielle-lloyd-in-cancer-scare

1/3rd of people will be "affected" by cancer, defined as, they or an immediate family member get it.

Ah - wow, that makes a massive difference to the statistics. Gosh.

Well that puts me on a score of 2, so one of you gets a freebie.

Yoink!

I was carted around through the hospital in a wheelchair when I broke my wrist. I was told I wasn't allowed to walk for myself, for some health & safety reason. Possibly because I was doped up to the high heavens on morphine though. God damn that stuff is good.



I'm the same, and more than once people have gasped when I've shrugged my shoulders and said "...okay" to some apparent bad news I'm not affected by in the slightest, either in first person or through the people I know.

A little girl has been kidnapped in Portugal? Okay. Do you want more of a reaction than that? 9/11 was the same.

Mmm - 3 for me. And obviously 3 for all the rest of my family, too. That really does change my view of how prevalent it is.

I believe that photo was taken outside an clinic in India, so the H&S is probably not quite as tight.

She's perhaps had her legs broken by some Shilpa fans.

Doesn't Max clifford charge £20k pcm for representation? There's obviously money in being a ugly moron pap magnet nowadays!

In fairness, someone that I did hold a high regard to, and still will, died of cancer and its assorted effects last year.

As trite as it sounds, I do think she went "Cancer, yeah, fuck that for a game of soldiers" and went on to do as much as she always did, day in, and day out. And she never let up, lasted longer than was thought, and is a paridigm of dealing with shit that comes your way today. I often think "What would she do?" and the answer is always "Get on with it, it's never that fucking bad".

It's different for different people to be fair though dude. A mate of mine died a few years ago from a brain tumour and in his last few months he could barely get out of bed anymore. He stayed very positive for as long as he possibly could though.

This is true.

Maybe I'm just cranky over it.

And to think she only went into hospital for a pap smear!

She was worth £2.5 million before the Celeb BB thing blew up in her face.

Well if she has got it I wish her all the best in beating it. It doesn't matter how monstrously ugly or hateful a person is, I wouldn't wish cancer on my worst enemy.

If she hasn't got it and it's all a publicity stunt, well...

You hope she gets cancer and dies?

Not at all, but it certainly wouldn't change my current opinion of her. After watching my Father die in front of me from cancer it's not something I'd wish on anyone.

This multiplied by "fuck, aye". To the power of "indeed". Squared.