Be Excellent To Each Other

I imagine the advice was something along the lines of the less teeth you have all the better for giving blow-jobs to rich arabs?

That reminds me, I got in The Grauniad (well, some online-only weblog thing) with my old website, "I Was Amused By The Brass Eye Special".

I did that for Twin Zero. Once. Karl said I was obviously hard for wearing a trenchcoat in Radford. Great days...

I had quite a few letters published in games magazines, mostly Future ones. One publication in particular printed more than a dozen, which was nice. Never won anything as such though. Apart from an Edge subscription from Digitiser.

Anonymous X = Stuart N Hardy

I had a letter printed in NMS when I was about 13, it was mainly about Megaman for the NES and what a sad case Steve Merret was.

Apart from that I haven't done anything of note.

I told a story about Timothy Trow on some schools radio programme once.

I'm on a Surestart CD reading a kids story.

I was on the news when I got a gun in my face while doing a night shift at the petrol station.

Were you the one who beat the robber up with an umbrella?

Nah, this was Christmas eve a few years ago now, I just handed over the cash. I ain't no here when it comes to other peoples money, they only paid me minimum wage!

I bet they only wanted some Tropical Fruit Bubbelicious.

Stuff I done:

Went to the Queens 60th Birthday Party.
Been an "internet pro" on "Chips with Everything" with Kate Russell.
Been an Extra in some mid 90s late night ITV show about the interenet (it was filmed at the place where I worked)
Been an Extra in Bookworm (Griff Rhys Jones think in the mid 90s - was also filmed at the place I worked)
Worked with some MTV/VH1 Producer on a show that did not take off.
Been a "match side reporter" for a match of the day type show about q3ctf on NoW tv (a channell shown in SE Asia)
Presented the same show as a stand in (working with Sonia Saul and Stevie Morgan)
Coached the Scottish and British Q3CTF teams
Coached the British Q3TDM to the final, lost to the Germans

All the rest I have are just people I know, I won't bother to mention them now.

Malc

Some stuff occurred to me. I played a fashion photographer in Footballers' Wives (I haven't seen it, natch). I was filmed for a Sky doc about Jordan //shudder// trying to take three other munters and turn them into 'glamour' models. Haven't seen that either.

Oh, and my all time favourite WTF moment is from about 16 years ago when I was mistaken for John Leslie at a party and the girl wouldn't believe I wasn't him, even though I don't have a fucking Scottish accent and don't look like him either.

There, no pointless name dropping.

The winter before last when I was working as a snowboard instructor in Italy, a friend invited me to join her and some of her family (who were visiting her) and I found myself sitting opposite Jack out of Hollyoaks. It took a while for the penny to drop and I almost found myself saying to his face what a dreadful show it is.

It is such a crap claim to fame that I am sort of pleased with it.

Oh yeah, I've had 5 games reviewed in Amiga Format.

The first one ended with this line: "The only reason I'm reviewing Gareth's game is because he lives around the corner from a couple of my mates."

Being from the West Country you probably go drinking with Jethro most nights and are on first name terms with at least 3 of the Wurzles.

I am not from the West Country though. I'm sure I've mentioned this before!

Malc

I know, but I prefer to stick people in little boxes. So for me you will always be a turnip munching yokel who looks like that footballer from the 70's.

wait...people....train....people....to....play games? WTF.

sorry but thats ridiculous. wow.

I have an unclaim to fame.

I was sitting with a bloke from work, the missus and my brother. During discussion it turns out that.....

Bloke from work showed Kevin Rowland from Dexy's Midnight Runners how to play guitar way back in the day, as he knew his brother or something.

Missus went to a college course with one of the fiddle players from Dexy's Midnight Runners. This was after he'd been in the band and allegedly he was a bit of a cock that no one liked and he soon left. (Also in her class was someone called Dennis from Musical Youth, who was totally great).

One of my brothers college lecturers is Mickey Billingham, from Dexy's Midnight Runners.

Yes, I was the only one of the four that has never had anything to do with a member of Dexy's Midnight Runners.

I've had my name in the credits for a couple of boring Scottish political debate programmes. I've also had the joy of shepherding a quartet of Scottish politicians from the make-up rooms to the studio floor, which is a lot harder than it sounds since they kept wandering off. It means I've had the dubious pleasure of directing Sir David Steel to the mens toilets.

Oh, and I had my name printed in Your Sinclair three times (never did get a badge from the useless bastards) and a mini-review printed in Fortean Times about ten years ago.

Um, that's it. Depressingly crap, really.

I once put together and read out a small weather report on the radio when I was 8. I think I was mentioned in NGamer issue 6 because of my GBA stuff, and I was interviewed as part of a DS homebrew feature in GamesTM.

And... uh... I appear in the credits for Official PlayStation 2 Magazine demo discs from issue 96 to 102.

And a cover feature on RGCD!!

I'm on the joystiq front page right now.

Which I wrote!

I had a quick look, but I must be blind.

As I may have mentioned before, I was one of the (many) lawyers in the Zeta-Jones/Hello!/Ok! broohaha.

That's it, really. I shun publicity.

Mine are mostly by proxy:

My (soon to be ex-) step mother's (possibly ex-) sister-in-law is the woman dancing in the title sequence for Tales of the Unexpected.

My uncle taught film studies to Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker (and told them they were rubbish). He also went out with Bob Dylan's cousin.

When I was a kid, my parents were fairly active local Labour party members in the north-east. On one occasion, Tony Blair and Tam Dalyell came and had a cup of tea at our house (which had been previously owned by a mate of David Coverdale). A couple of years ago I met Gordon Brown at a reception organised by my fiancée (who was once a contestant on Win Beadle's Money).

My step father was in a band with Chris Rea.

My grandmother was in the same old people's home as Brian Eno's mother. My dad used to work with Bryan Ferry's sister. (I've never knowingly met any members of Roxy Music.)

John Peel namechecked my IRC channel.

I now have a job that means I walk past several daleks and a tardis every day I'm at work.

Check the source here

Coolest of the lot.

My feyonce's grandmother knows Anthony Hopkins's mum quite well, they grew up together in some tiny Welsh village.

Ooh, time for a story.

Friend of ours lived in a small place just outside Calgary called Cochrane. She's pottering around the house one day, gets a knock on the door. Opens the door and its Anthony Hopkins.

"Sorry to disturb you, is there anywhere I could get a cup of coffee?"

So she invited him in, made him coffee and had a chat. He was filming Legends of the Fall in the area and went for a bit of an explore during a break in filming.

My girlfriend's brother-in-law is the uncle of ex-wrestler Alex Shane.

Said brother-in-law apparently works with the father of Stephan Merchant.

My girlfriend's niece is currently seeing Dave Golder (who I once accosted at the previously-mentioned brother-in-law's 50th birthday and dribbled about how awesome AP and YS were for a while. He seemed to take it fairly well).

To be honest, I'm only with my girlfriend for the anecdotes.

Plissken: ace!

I forgot one for me: I playtested Virus 2000 at the HQ of Grolier Interactive. I met David Braben, who was a nice chap despite my being totally dickwad-level starstruck, and at one point threatened him with physical violence if the very-hard-to-do-thing I was attempting to do wasn't going to be enough to win the level. He just smirked and left the room. I died not long after when the nuclear reactor I was trying to drop scientists on to melted down. Gngh.

Our focus group was the one that suggested they put deathmatch into the game, something they hadn't though of before we suggested it, and they did add it, which was pretty cool.

That's an awesome story! Someone should start a thread... "Who would you invite in for coffee" and of course "Who WOULDN'T you invite in for coffee!

One more I forgot: I once did a wee in a urinal next to Johnny X from out of Kenickie.

Yeah, how d'ya like that, Gillen, eh?

I have a bunch of crap claims to "fame":

• Interviewed the likes of Alison from the Kills (back when she was in Discount), Dr Frank from The Mr T Experience, two of Midget and two of The Donnas
• Hung out with Snug backstage at a gig (including now-popular singer/songwriter Ed Harcourt). Their rider seemed to consist of a bag of jam doughnuts, which they happily shared with us
• Got pictures of scary sheep drawn by various band members, including all of the aforementioned
• Appeared on the thanks list of a few late-90s Leeds punk bands (though I'm not sure quite what for - it was usually me blagging a floor to sleep on at their houses)
• Had a letter printed in Viz (about Charles and Eddie)
• Spoken to NME/BBC music bloke Imran Ahmed on the phone (he's mates with my brother. Convo: "Is Stu in?" "No." "Oh, thanks, tell him Imran called. Bye!")
• Shook hands with Billie Joe out of Green Day
• My fanzine won 2 (count 'em!) votes in a "best fanzine of the year" poll in 1999 (I think)
• Claim to fame by proxy: I work with a woman who interviews bands for a hobby - recent interviewees include Nuno out of Extreme, David Coverdale and Alice Cooper

Oh, yeah, I was partying with these guys in LA the other week:

Fern Cotton was there too.

We also were drinking with the Plain White Ts, and some guys from the biggest indie hippity hop label in America too, and some rapper called tech9, who was in the charts at the time, in our hotel room (all top blokes)

You were partying with Lars Ulrich?

They're stood the wrong way round!

You may be able to make lots of money from this, like that upside-down plane stamp.

Who are the people in the photograph?

Sadly I just flipped the image to confuse you.

Edit: It's me in the middle, and PJ and Duncan on either side of me.

I can be seen in the audience of the last ever CD:UK

Ant's shirt would suggest otherwise.

It might be a blouse, the big girl.

Oo-er, rumbled!!

I think my brother would have some claims to fame of some description. He used to post at WoS as 'Glider', no idea if he's registered here.

Oh, and my girlfriend and her sister are visible in the front row of the audience in the official Live 8 footage filmed in Berlin. Trufax.

Oh, fuck me! I'm one of the people shouting "Guns and Roses" and "Get in the ring" on the song (d'uh) "Get In The Ring". I do have a claim to fame!

What? Released 1991? How old where you?!

What was Stuart N Hardy's brother called again? Something like Nigel R Hardy or something ridiculous...

I was 10, at the Monsters of Rock festival in 88.

You were ten years old, at a Guns N' Roses show, singing along to 'Get In The Ring'?

Did your mother wash your mouth out with soap and water afterwards?

You went to Donington when you were 10?
Didn't people die there that year?