Be Excellent To Each Other

Obviously, I'm the Internet's famous Richard Gaywood because of my offensive name. Plus I was in a little piece of stock library footage of a school classroom shot by BBC Wales that ended up being used on the start sequence to Wales Today (local news) for about six months. It was actually vaguely tedious dealing with all the "didn't I see you on TV last night" from literally everyone I knew. Oh, and Mr Biffo's stereotype geek character on Digitiser, Computer Boy, was actually based on me because Mr Biffo hates me (TRUFAX).

Grim... is richer than the king of England, DBSnappa has met a gazillion famous people, and Comical has some sort of piffling website or other than nearly got him on the tellybox once. What about everyone else? What's your claim to fame?

I invested Post-Its.

(800 bananas to anyone getting the reference)

I use the same internet forum as a bloke who was on the start sequence to Wales Today, for about six months.

Romy & Michelle

I'll PM you the address.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.

My claim to fame, err, I started a babysitting service about 17 months ago in portugal, and had to close it about 16 months ago, in a bit of a hurry

My brass band was on Songs Of Praise, but mercifully they didn't show the cornet section.

I appeared, as a spritely 2 year old, on a BBC straight-to-video documentary called "Bisley: The Queen's Prize", detailing the past and present (in 1986) of the most prestigious trophy in the target shooting calendar.

What do I do in my brief appearance on film?

I run down the steps of the English XX Clubhouse in the camp, into the arms of my Mum who is walking up the "driveway" just out of shot.

Aww, bless. And all that.

I used to post on some forum run by some geezer who was a videogames journo, or something.

Also: I interviewed Craig Charles once, and he was actually a very nice chap and not at all the wanker I'd been lead to believe he would be.

And my photo is also in an issue of Official Dreamcast Magazine and I look horrendously gay in it.

The Oyster Card thing meant that B3ta called me an eccentric fellow. I was trailed on (but never actually went on) the ITV London news and TheLondonPaper pretended that me and two other people melting oyster cards was a "new city boy craze" and that it was a "status thing" in possible the most manufactured story I've ever actually witnessed first hand.

Unless of course lots of lots of city boys do read skeptobot and sciencepunk and are now putting oystercards in their bling.

I have no claim to fame.

I had my photo in Amstrad Action.

Countless local radio shit but I don't count any of that.

Didn't you kill the Amiga?

Oh wait, wrong Rev.

My cousin is famous footballer and John Fashanu elbow victim Gary Mabbutt (Tottenham Hotspur and Enlgand international).

My band has been played on Radio 1 / XFM / others numberous times
Steve Lamacq is a fan. hahahahahah. gaunt twat.

Thats about it.

Same, I still get the odd request now and then but I'm so damn above it all that I just ignore it now.

Plus local radio generates about 10 extra hits to the site, so it's really unworth it.

One of the sales assistants in the GS I used to manage has Lisa Snowdon for a cousin. Does that count for anything? Sadly, she was far too famous (and too busy shagging George Clooney at the time) to ever pop into the store and say "hello" or anything.

Edit: hang on, I listen to Xfm all the time! What band is it?

I was the first ever referee to referee a match at the UKs 1PW wrestling show. The shows are quite well renowed in the UK for bringing in American talent.. and for running at a loss each month.

In fact, reading that back is not a very good claim to fame...

How about this one, In September I will be a crew member on a record breaking channel swim attempt. The record is for the most money ever raised for a relay swim.

That's better...

Oh.. and I was also once on the local news show for meeting Caprice in a local Virgin Megastore. I went on telly to say something like "She's really fit in real life". Moron.

I have nothing.

Except RICHES.

Even in EVE you're a rich cunt, and your ship looks like the space version of a Land Rover.

I'm on a forum with people who have awesome taste in films apparently.

I am desperately poor in EvE, newbian.

It's all relative. In real life you're poor compared to millionaires too.

1) I was on Right to Reply on Channel 4
2) I got in NTK with my old website
3) I won a Register competition along with THE GAYWOOD.

I have done nothing of any consequence. Nor do I know anyone who has any claims I can desperately cling to.

Knowing someone isn't a claim to fame anyway, unless you then because famous because of it (see: Rebecca Loos).

And Abbi Titface, who frankly needs to die, the bitch.

LEGEND!

One of the nicest guys in football and one of the best Spurs captains of all time.

Then my failure is complete.

Not quite the same as I worked at the other end. So it was people like me going "lets get this internet nutcase on so people can laugh at him".

Except for the time someone I know rang me up at 7am to do a live phone interview about the 25th birthday (or somesuch) of the IBM PC as they had a space to fill.

I was horrifically tired but managed to big up Sir Clive and Sir Al as being very significant in the development of home computers in the UK.

Chinny top tip: Release an internet sex tape.

Of someone else, pref.

Sure I've mentioned this, but I own Jenny Powells left breast pad. I tire of it and will put it on eBay in the next couple of weeks.

First ever person to announce a hockey game at Manchester's new rink? Played cricket against Darren Gough and Glen Chapple? Went to school with former World Superbike champion Neil Hodgson?

Oh, and been on stage a few times at a few places you may have heard of, as a support act to much more famous people.

Yeah he is a cool guy, lives in South Africa now, with his wife Cathy. They run an executive (whatever that means) tour company. I guess its like a holiday but for rich people.

I appeared in various issues of Kerrang! and Rock Sound between the years 2000-2002.

I helped Paul Daniels get his magic shop domain name back.

That's all I can think of right now.

Band name?

And indeed, your band name Mr. Sensor. I demand to know it!

While we're there.. my bands album was reviewed in Rock Sound.. It didn't do to well though.

For which you got a t-shirt. That bastard Orlowski promised me one but I never got it.

Stop talking about EvE.

EvE Online, so hot right now, EvE.

Well if it's just "Cool things we've done" then...


Nintendo use software written by me every single day.

I have met Thom Yorke, I suppose. Maybe that counts. I've also been in the same room as the rest of Radiohead, but don't think I said much more than "Hello." Also countless other indie bands.

When I was student my friend Anne and I would go to indie gigs at The Venue in Oxford. Radiohead, The Frank & Walters, Moose, people like that. We'd knock on the dressing room door, ask if it was okay to come in and then proceed to sit down and help drink the rider. We'd kind of, not lie, but sort of indicate to the headline band that we were with the support band and, you know, sort of let the support band believe we were friends of the headliners. Sometimes we'd be the only two people left in there and would miss the actual performances due to the amount of beer that needed to be consumed.

I'm not proud of myself.

Much.

(I also seem to remember pretending to be in charge of the cloakroom one night. I think everybody got the correct coats back.)

I had my photograph published in the 'Buster' comic with a cartoon custard pie drawn over it.

Oh, and a couple of letters written with the rightoeus indignation of my ill-informed pre-pubesecent self got published in the 'Early Times'. Spookily, someone I met at university had had a letter published on the same page as one of mine.

[url="http://www.eve-online.com/]The website[/url] has that as "EVE online" not "EvE" you know.

I've bowled to England batsman Marcus Trescothick ( in the nets, in some "meet the team" day at Somerset years ago). He whacked the living crap out of me, unsurprisingly. To be fair, I was only about 13.

I once had a letter published in .net, back when I gave a shit about PCs.

A few papers in scientific papers, but only as a 'named contributer'

Ian Bothan walked right past my house during that across-the-UK walk he did. That was taken from my office window.



Oh, cool! I only ever got into conference proceedings, and only one of those was a proper conference. I always wanted to write a journal paper off the back of my thesis but never got around to it.

Ooh - you know when you go online and do an automated line test on BT's website, and it never tells you anything useful? I wrote the software that hooks that into the mainframe backend and performs the testing.